The moonlight was cold, reflecting off the clearly inked words on the pages.
Xiao's gaze fell upon the title—"The Troubles of the Guardian Yaksha: Karma is Not as Scary as Insomnia."
The title alone caused his eye to twitch again.
He suppressed his impatience and read on, line by line.
The beginning seemed normal enough, and his brow relaxed slightly, but it immediately furrowed again.
The more he read, the heavier the oppressive aura around him became. On that cold face, the originally subtle emotional fluctuations gradually became more pronounced.
[...However, recently, a concerned citizen who wishes to remain anonymous revealed that the greatest suffering endured by the Conqueror of Demons may not be that bone-eroding and heart-scorching karma...]
Concerned citizen? Wishes to remain anonymous?
Several suspicious figures flashed through Xiao's mind: That Poet who was always fishing in Dihua Marsh and liked to hum strange tunes? Or that white-haired doctor who often sent over strange medicinal herbs?
Or perhaps... [...According to a very accidental close-range observation, the two dark circles under the Conqueror of Demons' eyes are particularly striking...]
At this point, Xiao's fingertips tightened unconsciously, leaving slight creases in the pages.
Close-range observation? When? He hadn't noticed at all?
Who exactly was this author, Lovia?
As for those two dark circles, they were absolute nonsense! Those were manifestations of karma's corrosion, completely different from the fatigue of mortals!
[...After an in-depth yet simple analysis, a world-shaking conclusion was reached: Lord Guardian Yaksha likely suffers from a severe case of—IN! SOM! NIA!—that has lasted for hundreds, if not thousands, of years!]
Seeing those three bolded and enlarged characters, Xiao felt a vein in his temple throb.
Ridiculous! Exorcising demons was his duty; what did it have to do with insomnia?!
Besides, he didn't have insomnia!
The subsequent descriptions of the "Conqueror of Demons'" insomnia were so specific that Xiao even had the illusion of being watched. He subconsciously looked around, but only the night wind blew past.
He did... occasionally count the stars, but that was just a habit while keeping watch over the surroundings.
As he saw the reasons for insomnia listed in the book, Xiao's brow furrowed deeper and deeper.
[First, the disturbance of the residence... the sound of the wind, the rattling of windows, and even the slight groans of the building's timber due to temperature changes are all clearly audible...]
Nonsense, Xiao sneered inwardly.
How could an Adeptus's body be disturbed by the mundane sound of the wind? Having lived here for so long, he had long grown accustomed to the sounds of all things, and could even distinguish the movements of monsters from them. This author actually compared him to mortals who needed a quiet environment to sleep; it was utterly absurd.
[Second, the clamor of nature... the chorus of frogs, the chirping of birds... for him, are they not amplified more than tenfold?]
Absolute rubbish.
Having sharp senses was for the sake of exorcising demons and defending the Way; how could it be a burden? The myriad sounds of heaven and earth each had their order. His heart was as steady as a rock, and the external clamor could not sway him in the slightest. Using Adeptal energy to block out sounds? Even more laughable; he wasn't so weak yet.
[Third, the disturbance of appetite... especially the fragrance of almond tofu wafting in the middle of the night... it evokes memories and thoughts, stirring the mind; how can one be still?]
When the words "almond tofu" met his eyes, Xiao's heart seemed to skip a beat. He certainly didn't dislike almond tofu, but it was absolutely impossible for it to disturb his mind. This was clearly... clearly slander!
This was simply a desecration of an Adeptus's cultivation!
But almond tofu was a preference he rarely showed; how did this author know?! And to even link it with "insomnia"!
[Fourth, uninvited guests... the Traveler... whose visits are so random and whose reasons are so tricky...]
Only at this point did Xiao's gaze pause slightly, and his temple seemed to begin throbbing again.
The Traveler did indeed often come uninvited, with both time and location being unpredictable.
But attributing this as the primary cause of insomnia was still an exaggeration. He merely had to deal with some sudden visits from time to time; it was definitely not the reason he couldn't sleep!
Xiao only found it laughable and continued reading.
[Fifth, the pain of karma... habit... karma ravages his body and erodes his spirit... the limit of emotions...]
Xiao's gaze froze, and he read this paragraph several times over.
The suffering of karma... He had never thought that a mortal would know about karma, or know that he had been plagued by it for a millennium.
Nor had he ever thought that someone would weigh karma and insomnia on a scale and reach... such a conclusion.
A sense of absurdity arose, yet it was strangely mixed with a sting from being seen through.
It was true.
The exhaustion after a karmic flare-up wasn't just a longing for the pain to subside, but also for the ensuing darkness that would allow him to temporarily forget everything.
But often, even that moment of chaos was unattainable, as his conscious mind was forced to immediately take over his exhausted body and spirit to continue his watch.
This feeling... he thought no one could understand.
Xiao moved his gaze to the author's name.
"Lovia"?
Why exactly did this person know his situation so clearly?
Xiao's expression was complex. After pausing for a long time, he continued reading.
[...If a child does not get enough sleep, it is difficult for them to grow tall.]
Here it comes.
Xiao's heart sank suddenly, and a sense of foreboding enveloped him. He almost held his breath as he looked at the following text.
[...Considering the Conqueror of Demons' millennium-unchanged upright posture, and that... ahem, delicate frame which slightly belies the title of an Illuminated Adeptus. Combined with his terrifying duration of insomnia... are the reasons therein not thought-provoking?]
Delicate frame... thought-provoking... A faint blush uncontrollably rose to the tips of Xiao's ears, followed by a surge of overwhelming annoyance.
He subconsciously straightened his back, as if doing so could refute the absurd claims in the book.
[...He silently raised his hand to compare himself with the reeds beside him, and ultimately fell into a deeper silence.]
Xiao: "..."
Nonsense!
He had never... at least, not intentionally compared himself to reeds!
How could this author speculate about his thoughts out of thin air?!
[...One day, the Conqueror of Demons finally couldn't help but ask Rex Lapis: "Lord Rex Lapis, will a Yaksha... never grow taller again?"]
Then, seeing the title "Rex Lapis" appear in such a book in such a ridiculous manner, Xiao felt a surge of blood to his head, and his vision went slightly dark.
When had he ever asked such a question?!
This was simply... simply a great disrespect to Lord Rex Lapis!
And that "ahoge"... When Xiao saw such a word, an indescribable heat suddenly rushed to the tips of his ears.
He subconsciously raised his hand, as if wanting to check if there really was an ahoge on the top of his head, then suddenly realized the implication of the gesture. He immediately lowered his hand stiffly, his expression darkening further.
[...Karmic erosion? Bearable. The howling of demons? Endurable. But the growth stagnation caused by insomnia is simply a public execution.]
Public execution?
Xiao now deeply understood the meaning of those four words.
If this book were to spread... he hardly dared to imagine.
Xiao looked at the book, and the surrounding noise seemed to suddenly distance itself from him, becoming incredibly hazy.
He continued reading.
Hu Tao... WangSheng Funeral Parlor's "Sleep-Aiding and Growth-Promoting Deluxe Package"... a spear tip pressed against a nose... these were actually written so vividly! How could he possibly attack innocent civilians?!
Xiao felt the veins in his temple throbbing.
Finally, his gaze fixed intensely on that "vivid" description of "True Lord Look Up, Look Down, See."
[...When you leap onto a roof beam, one can't see you looking up; when you jump down, you're buried in the mist because you're too short.]
"Crack—" a very faint sound rang out as a crack appeared in the wooden railing he was leaning against, pinched by the power that had unconsciously leaked out.
[Note: This "Look Down, See" is by no means disrespectful; it is actually used to describe his approachability... er, or rather, his ease of being found?]
Ease of being found?! His height was actually "easy to find" in the eyes of these mortals?!
[...Therefore, it is privately suggested that Adeptus Xiao be given an honorary title: "True Lord Look Up, Look Down, See." How appropriate! How vivid!]
...[Even a certain Caretaker of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, who wishes to remain anonymous, took a sip of hot tea and smiled slightly upon hearing this.]
Xiao: "?"
Master Zhongli... too...?
Xiao felt a wave of weakness, and the fingers supporting his temple trembled slightly.
This book not only made fun of him but also involved Lord Rex Lapis!
And the "reminder" at the very end of the book, in Xiao's reading, was simply blatant provocation and mockery.
Finally, the last page was turned.
Xiao silently closed the book and didn't move for a long time.
The aura around him fluctuated, with the black mist of karma and his cold Adeptal energy slightly intertwining, revealing the owner's extremely unsettled heart.
In a millennium of years, he had faced countless vicious monsters and endured the bone-eroding pain of karma, but he had never felt as powerless and stifled as he did at this moment.
The words in this book drew no blood, yet every word stabbed at... the places he least wanted mentioned.
The insomnia was real, and so was his stature.
But to be so teased, fictionalized, and widely circulated... even bestowed with such an absurd "honorary title"... images of Lord Rex Lapis sipping tea with a slight smile and Hu Tao's mischievous "U mad?" grin uncontrollably surfaced in his mind... Could it be that even Lord Rex Lapis... A silent thunderclap known as "social death" boomed within the heart of this millennial Adeptus.
The book was gripped tightly in his hand, his knuckles turning white from the force. He looked up toward Liyue Harbor, his gaze complex and difficult to decipher.
After a long time, a very, very soft word, filled with a millennium of helplessness, shame, and bewilderment, dissipated into the night wind: "...Ridiculous."
Tonight, the karma seemed a bit more restless than usual.
And that book, "The Troubles of the Guardian Yaksha: Karma is Not as Scary as Insomnia," was held tightly in its protagonist's hand, as if it would be crushed by Adeptal energy at any moment, yet for some reason, it was temporarily preserved.
The trouble of insomnia is indeed an internal disturbance.
He had truly experienced the meaning of those words tonight.