Marco pressed start. He lunged forward while blasting balls of fire. Gamer dodged the fireballs, and the follow-up kick from Marco. They both rotated around and Gamer smacked a fireball-holding hand away. Marco dropped the fireball, but fired a second from his other hand. Gamer quickly sidestepped and jabbed Marco in the schnoz. He threw a haymaker, but Marco ducked this and jumped forward. He headbutted Gamer in the chest, into a punch, and then launched up with a boot to the face. Gamer staggered backwards from the triple attack, and failed to dodge the fireball thrown thereafter. However, he had a pocket solution.
He pulled out Cammy's wand and blasted magic at the incoming fire. It met the flames and turned them into a floating block.
"Abra kadabra, bitch!" Gamer taunted.
Marco jumped in the air and twisted his body. The flames swirled around him, and like a shotgun blast, he released a spiraling wave of destruction.
Gamer aimed the wand down and fired at the ground. The dirt and stone beneath him transformed into a cubic shape of water. Gamer dunked himself, narrowly avoiding the fire wave.
Marco dashed over to the puddle, but when he arrived, the water splashed out towards him. It drenched him and extinguished his flames. Gamer lunged out of the pool with a shit-eating grin. Thanks to roleplaying game logic, it was super effective. Marco stumbled backwards, soaked, and his flare flower powers dissipated.
"Hah, how do you like them marbles?" Gamer twirled the wand like a baton.
"Sei piuttosto fastidioso..." Marco mumbled. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a second flare flower. He bit into it and regained his fire abilities. The fire dried up his whole person. (You're quite annoying...)
"That's fair," Gamer nodded, but screamed on the inside.
They both blasted at one another. Each geometric magic bolt and ball of fire met in a small poof of smoke, only to settle as a block. After a few exchanges, there was a haphazard, magical brick wall between the two.
Gamer wall climbed to reach the top. He was about to peer over and rain down magic on Marco, but the plumber thought ahead. He did his little three-hop jump and soared over the pinnacle of the wall. He swung a fiery fist down at Gamer. It connected with the ruby of the wand, and Gamer unleashed the magic. This caused an explosion, and both men went flying in opposite directions. The wall crumbled, and the wand clattered against the ground.
Gamer rolled over onto all fours, eyes on Marco. The psychopath was saved from the wand's magic thanks to his power up. Gamer sprinted forward to stomp some Italian ass.
Marco quickly reached into his pockets and started pulling out more power ups. He consumed a white and blue flower, and ice coalesced around the psychopath. His eyes turned a bright blue and the wind around Gamer grew cold. Gamer smashed his fist into Marco's throat, which immediately ended the ice power up.
Marco ate a lily pad on the rebound. His whole body, aside from his face and moustache, were turned into a frog. Even the eyes of the frog were popping up from the beanie. Gamer karate kicked, and the frog onesie tore in two off of Marco.
Marco ate a leaf. Gamer disemboweled him.
Marco ate a boot. Gamer wrangled his trachea.
Marco pulled out a hammer. Gamer threw a punch, but his fist met an iron dome. A dark helmet and body armor appeared on Marco. Gamer recoiled, as he was pretty sure he just broke a few bones in his hand. Marco pulled out a hammer from the body armor and hit Gamer's knee. Gamer stumbled over in agony. He crawled backwards, but Marco slowly encroached.
"L'unico a cui è permesso toccare la principessa...sono io," Marco raised the hammer to invert Gamer's head. (The only one allowed to touch the princess...is me.)
However, Princess Persica stepped between the two. They were so focused on each other, they didn't see or hear her cross the pipe. Marco withdrew his attack. She declared, "Basta, Marco! That's enough!"
"Basta? Che palle...tutto quello che faccio è per te. Sei il mio cuore, sei il mio mondo. Niente mi impedirà di raggiungerti," Marco appeared emotional. (Stop? What a pain...everything I do is for you. You are my heart, you are my world. Nothing will stop me from reaching you.)
Gamer noticed that Persica held her hands behind her back. She presented a flare flower to him.
"Can't you see the unalignment. You're a magnet to my attraction, but a tool of destruction to all else. You scare me, and I don't know what to do. What happened to the man who laughed and had so much gusto?" Persica tried to talk some sense into him.
"Tranquillo!" (Quiet!)
Marco's shout echoed across the lake. It made her flinch, and she leaned away. He pointed and shook his hammer at her threateningly, "Parli troppo. Li ucciderò e poi mi servirai. Mi preparerai un'altra torta." (You talk too much. I will kill them, and then you will serve me. You will make me another cake.)
"Bingo," Gamer grinned. Marco raised an eyebrow and peered around Persica. Gamer held her flare flower, and winked as he ate the power up. Marco's anger exploded, and he pulled a hammer back to strike Persica. She had other plans. Anticipating the attack, Persica sprang forward and used her large ass to hit Marco. The power of her booty bump was like a wrecking ball and sent the Italian psychopath backwards. He lost his hammer form and skidded to a stop. She's got a great ass!
Persica stepped aside. Gamer's body heat rose higher, but he didn't feel any side effects. The sweat on his arms and face turned to steam. His shirt's blue turned to red, and his jeans followed suit. His hair flickered like a torch, and his pupils were set ablaze. He struck a dramatic, cool-as-hell pose.
Marco responded by pulling out a golden red cap. It shimmered in the daylight. Gamer's pupils widened at the beautiful power up, while Persica began to drool from the gold. Marco bit into it and grew thrice his size. The Italian goliath yelled, "Andiamo!" (Let's go!)
"Please, finish him..." Persica said to Gamer. Tears were held back, and she ran back across the pipe.
"Selective pacifism...that's fine. Leave it to me," Gamer shrugged confidently. His balls were empty and fire burned in his heart. He used a finger to beckon Marco, "Let's settle this, big boy."
Marco jumped twice, and at a thirty-foot apex, he flipped and plummeted ass-first towards Gamer. Marco became a human meteor and pounded the ground. The power shook the whole isle and sent webbed cracks all along its surface.
"Gamer!" Minnie believed Marco squished her friend.
Persica pointed at Marco's head, "He's floating."
In the air, just shy of Marco's shoulder, was Gamer on his broom. The broom adopted Gamer's fire power and puffed out blackened smoke from its bristle end, like an exhaust. He took a page out of Cammy's book and lounged on it. He spoke cockily, "I already had your girlfriend's cake today. I don't want yours."
Marco tried to take a bite out of him, but Gamer's broom sped away. Gamer acted like that one gnat that always survived. Marco would swing, clap, and stomp, but to no avail. Gamer utilized the smoke farting out from his broom. He circled Marco a number of times until a literal shitstorm smokescreen blinded him. Marco even became dizzy, disoriented with all the rotations.
Gamer flew a good one hundred meters away from the isle and then immediately zipped in. As he closed the distance to Marco, he summoned a raging ball of fire in his hand. When he reached the blinded Italian, he cut through the smokescreen and rammed the plumber's tubby stomach with the fire. The attack erupted against Marco's giant form, and it successfully reverted him back to normal. He landed in a stumble on the cracked isle.
Marco frantically searched his pockets, even turning them inside out, for another power up. One finally dropped out; a raccoon tail. He reached for it, but Gamer called from ahead of him.
"Eat this!" Gamer soared straight at Marco, with a fireball in his palm. He shoved the fireball right into Marco's gullet. Marco tried resisting, even bringing the speeding broom to a halt, but it was futile. The flames of the fireball soon spilled out from his ears and eye sockets.
"How's this for a spicy-a meatball?!" Gamer signed off with a one liner. The fireball erupted and Gamer drifted to the side. Marco stumbled backwards, nothing above his shoulders except a blazing fire. His body tripped over the ledge. He fell with his arms flailing up and his legs shot out. Gamer ran over to confirm the kill, and saw the body breaching the water.
Minnie and Persica came up next to Gamer to confirm it for themselves. Minnie couldn't believe her eyes, "You beat Marco..."
Gamer breathed a sigh of relief, "Yeah, let's just hope he doesn't have a brother."
"Stupendous! Super well done job!" the shrooman congratulated Gamer. The mushroom man tugged a huge backpack across the pipe bridge and joined everybody. He patted Gamer on the leg, "Chanterelle is free from Marco! This is truly a super day to celebrate! Hahah!"
Gamer posed victoriously in his fiery form, "Yes, yes, shower me with your praises."
Persica continued to peer down where Marco's body disappeared. She remained still, contemplating. After a moment, she spat in his direction.
Minnie collected Cammy's wand and the raccoon tail. She brought them over and handed them to Gamer, "You should have these."
"What is this, anyway?" Gamer examined the tail. Kinda morbid, really.
"It's a tanooki tail," Persica explained. "It grants you the body of a tanooki, allowing you to fly, float, and even turn into an indestructible statue. Marco used them only in emergencies."
Gamer definitely wanted to keep it. He added it to his inventory, along with his broom and wand. The group were free to leave without being harried. Once the gummi boat was righted, they all boarded it and set sail. Their destination was Cammy's castle.
Gamer kept his fingers out of the water this time, now equipped with the knowledge of chomp chomps. A question popped up in his head, "Say, Persica, you have access to the stars, right? How exactly does that work?"
"Ah, that is a bit of a misunderstanding. I cannot directly access outer space," Persica viewed the sky box. "I have a lovely spacefaring friend. She's a bounty hunter, and visits in her spaceship from time to time."
"Oh, a confidant, eh? Not exactly what I was looking for," Gamer said with disappointment. His options became limited.
"She is quite capable. If she were here, I would have asked her for help in these trying times. When she visits again, I will be sure to let you know."
Gamer grumbled, "Waiting around won't really help my high score..."
Minnie encouraged, "Well, maybe we can focus our efforts on Lord Shellie. You beat Marco, and I bet that really brought up your score."
"True, but now I need a way to view it. If only Samira..."
Persica verbally stepped into Gamer's trailing words, "This high score seems important to you, and I am aware you were exiled here. Would your actions grab the attention of your enemies?"
Gamer stared across the waters at the setting sun, "Maybe. Only time will tell."
***
A myriad of pixels assembled at the starting point. Within moments, a mountain of a man spawned. The person was a dark-haired minotaur. Stylish, black pants were held up by a blood red sash, and a blood red scarf hung haphazardly around the neck and shoulders. The minotaur's horns were prominent and sharpened, tipped by silver casing. His tail flicked around behind him. He glanced at the environment.
"Retro style, huh? I like it," the minotaur spoke with a thunderous bass. The minotaur opened up his inventory screen, which projected in front of him. He navigated to the Quests tab and opened Most Recent. At the top, a bounty request waited with the word NEW imposed over one of its corners. He opened the request, and the front-facing mug of Gamer came up. Near the top was his current high score: 77,783. Beneath this were the bold words WANTED DEAD. On the bottom of the screen were his list of crimes and a newly added line called a bounty.
"Let's see...a hefty high score and a bounty of three grand. Tch, this rude buster be causing all sorts of problems. It's a nice amount of dough, but the challenge entices all too well," the minotaur stroked his tuft of greying chin hairs. He closed the player screen and scanned the horizon. A large castle sat upon a distant hill. The top of the castle looked slightly destroyed.
The new player grinned, "Get ready, Gamer, for the next battle."