"You are the most beautiful in my heart, every smile makes me intoxicated... Your flaws, your virtues, the way you pout when you're angry... oh, what a wonderful feeling..."
In all of Fairy Tail, only Chen Fan could sing a song like that.
He sat there with a guitar, strumming and singing. As he finished, he produced a flower out of nowhere, dropped to one knee before Mira, and spoke with deep emotion. "Mira, marry me."
"No," Mira replied with a bright, certain smile.
"Why? Why do you reject me? Have you stopped loving me?" Chen Fan asked, looking utterly dejected.
"No reason. It's just a no." Her smile remained perfectly pleasant, making it impossible to stay angry at her.
"Is it because you love someone else? Tell me who! I'll go kill him!" His tone was fierce, but he carried himself in a way that made it impossible to take him seriously.
"Hey, Chen Fan, just give up already," Warren teased from the side. "This has to be at least the twentieth time you've confessed to Mira. You've changed the song dozens of times. I have no idea where you learn all these love songs."
"Why doesn't anyone ever confess to me?" Cana lamented, finding yet another excuse to drink. She tilted her head back and gulped down a massive amount of booze.
"What do you illiterates know?" Chen Fan shot a look of pure disdain at Warren and Cana. "This is 'Love'! The power of love provides my creative drive. And Cana, don't blame your drinking on me. If you want to drink, just say it. It's not like you stop drinking when I'm not singing."
"What? You're calling me illiterate?" Warren interrupted before Chen Fan could argue further. "Look at the words written on your back: 'Kindness.' I've never seen you be kind a day in your life. Don't treat me like Natsu; I actually understand art." He scratched his chin and added, "Speaking of which, Natsu should be back soon, right?"
Seeing that Warren had effectively killed the conversation, Chen Fan ignored him and turned to Cana. "You know, if you drank a little less, you'd be a very charming woman." He genuinely wanted her to cut back; that much alcohol couldn't be good for her.
"Mind your own business... hic!" Cana's face was flushed, looking as though she were already drunk.
"Don't try those third-rate romance tropes on me. Even if you were drunk as a pig, I wouldn't touch a hair on your head." Chen Fan knew her tolerance; this was nothing to her. They had a "history" that involved a certain incident the details were best left to the imagination, but Chen Fan knew better now.
Sure enough, the redness on Cana's face vanished instantly. "Tch. Boring man."
"What? You dare say that to me? Let me tell you, I don't hit women. Hitting a girl would ruin my manly spirit. Right, Elfman?" Chen Fan turned to his disciple.
But when he turned around, he found Elfman fast asleep on the table. Annoyed, Chen Fan gave him a quick smack. Elfman jolted awake.
Rubbing his bleary eyes, Elfman muttered, "Boss Chen Fan... did my sister reject you again?"
Chen Fan froze. After a moment, he stammered, "How... how did you know? You weren't sleeping, were you?"
"No," Elfman said honestly. "It's just that every time my sister rejects you, you come to take it out on me. When Erza rejects you, you take it out on Gray. When Levy rejects you, you take it out on the Master. When..."
"Stop, stop, stop!" Chen Fan cut him off, making a 'time-out' gesture.
"How do you know my patterns so clearly?" Chen Fan was genuinely confused. How could a simpleton like Elfman be so observant? Even Chen Fan hadn't realized he had those habits.
"Boss, are you thinking: 'How could a dummy like Elfman know this so clearly?'" Elfman said, staring at him.
This genuinely spooked Chen Fan. He stared at the giant man, dumbfounded.
Elfman continued, "After following the Boss for so long, even a dummy would get smarter." With that, he put his head back down and went back to sleep.
Terrified, Chen Fan scurried away from Elfman. He decided he wouldn't tease the big guy anymore. He hadn't expected Elfman to "evolve" like this. If he wasn't careful, the student might just outmaneuver the teacher.
BANG!
The doors of Fairy Tail were kicked open. Natsu's voice roared through the hall, "I'm back!"
"Welcome back!"
"Welcome back!"
"You went on a real rampage in Hargeon, didn't you?" a man with buckteeth remarked.
"You bastard!" Natsu kicked the man, sending him crashing through a set of tables and chairs. "The info you gave me about the Salamander was fake!"
"Why are they fighting?" Lucy wondered aloud.
The bucktoothed man struggled to his feet. "How was I supposed to know? I was just telling you the rumors I heard about a Salamander!"
"What did you say?!" Natsu aimed another kick.
"What, you want to go, you jerk?!"
Crash! Smash!
The sounds of breaking furniture filled the room.
"Amazing... I really made it to Fairy Tail!" Lucy said, her eyes sparkling with excitement.
"Natsu's back..." Gray stripped and immediately went to find Natsu for a brawl.
"A man should speak with his fists!" Elfman shouted. He had followed Chen Fan's example and had the words "Number One" written on the back of his shirt. He barely managed to strike a pose before Natsu and Gray punched him simultaneously, sending him flying.
"Goodness, it's so noisy," Loke sighed, his arms around two women.
"Isn't there a single normal person here?" Lucy muttered.
STOMP!
A giant foot slammed down, pinning Natsu to the floor. "Will you idiots knock it off?!"
"He's huge!" Lucy gasped. "Is he a newcomer?"
"Yes!"
Slowly, Makarov began to shrink. "He's tiny!"
Suddenly, Makarov hopped up to the second floor, holding a stack of papers. "Look at this! These are all complaints from the Magic Council! But what are we? We are mages! To hell with those bastards!" With a cool flourish, he lit the papers on fire and tossed them down.
"Wow, so cool!" Lucy said admiringly.
"Tch..."
"Tch..."
The guild members looked on with collective disdain.
"Eh? Why the attitude?" Lucy asked, confused.
Mira leaned in and whispered, "Because the Master is going to go crawling to Chen Fan in a minute, begging him to fix it."
"Who's Chen Fan?" Lucy asked.
"That would be me." Chen Fan finally made his entrance. He had ducked up to the second floor an area usually reserved for S-Class Wizards as soon as he saw Natsu kick the door in, fearing he'd get caught in the crossfire. He had been cheering the fight on from above and only came down once it was over.
Seeing his iconic clothes, flowing black hair, and handsome face, Lucy cried out in shock, "The God's Hand!"
Chen Fan was famous throughout the country, frequently appearing on magazine covers. His clothes were his trademark; many people outside cosplayed as him, but in the guild, he was the only one who wore that specific style. He was unmistakable.
Hearing her use that title, Chen Fan waved a hand dismissively. "Please, don't call me that. I simply extend a hand to those who cannot be saved." He reached out toward her.
Slap!
Mira swatted his hand away and turned to Lucy. "Don't believe a word he says. He's the biggest flirt in the entire guild."
"Compared to him?" Lucy pointed at Loke.
"He makes Loke look like an amateur," Mira whispered.
Chen Fan heard every word. He turned to Mira and groaned, "How can you say that? My heart for you is as clear as the sun and moon. You're breaking my heart!"
"Don't use the same lines you use on Levy on me." Mira's smile was the same as always, but her words made Chen Fan shiver. He immediately went silent.
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