Jayden Traves
"What are you? a clown? Maybe you really thought you were a real monkey.. You're a human, you have feelings and you will really fall tskkk you're happy being like that, a rebound, and I don't know why you chose to stay"
Andria Jay Del Valle
"Yeah, yeah, yeah I know-,- it was from the past. We were not talking anymore. He also unfriended me but yeah, my mind was just stupid to remember those."
I replied rolling my eyes invalidating what I feel.
Jayden Traves
"It was in the past but still hurting"
He responded slapping my face with the truth.
Andria Jay Del Valle
"Of course myself was disappointing. Who wouldn't hurt, I already moved on. It's only the pain that is caused by my own self that makes it hurt again-,-"
I replied judging myself like another person.
Jayden Traves
"Again, you are so STUPID, there, I caps lock it so you would feel it more"
Andria Jay Del Valle
"I know that too"
I second the motion with a glimpse of a small smile on my lips.
Jayden Traves
"Thanks me later"
Andria Jay Del Valle
"I already said thanks earlier-,- maybe you didn't just read it because you were focusing on my dramas like duh, the eyes of the frogs were too big yet, you didn't see it?"
I replied rolling my eyes.
Jayden Traves
"How could you even move on if you were stuck on that guilt. The eyes of the tarsier and monkey are bigger"
His rejoinder was with half-tease, half-real talk. Yeah, it's the guilt that I'm holding on to, not the love. I was still hurt not because I still love him but because I still didn't let go of the disappointment towards myself. He's right, I need to let go of this guilt to move forward.
Andria Jay Del Valle
"Do you believe in the saying forgive but don't forget? ha? ha? ha? You know that?"
I reasoned out, although I didn't even know what the connection was.
Jayden Traves
"Yeah and not for your case"
It's easy to forgive others, yet it doesn't work when it comes to myself.
Andria Jay Del Valle
"Aba, blame my mind to understand it like that... I already moved on and forgave him but that doesn't mean I already forgot everything especially the pain-,-"
I explained.
Jayden Traves
"Yeah yeah just feel the pain, it was funny unggoy"
If I'm not mistaken, he's rolling his eyes while typing those words.
Andria Jay Del Valle
"*roll eyes* duh...it already stopped...thank you po kuya ha...-,- the pillow of my cousin was already wet😆"
I honestly replied. I was using my cousin's pillow since I was here at my grandmother's to spend the night
"You're also stupid🙄-,- I told you to cuss me earlier, instead of chilling I just burst out suddenly amp"
I added. I'm used to it, every time I feel everything is heavy, I seek someone who has the guts to cuss me to avoid hurting myself by myself. It was more painful when it came from yourself compare from the others.
Jayden Traves
"Then, fuck you, you're an idiot with respect, It will be satisfying if someone hammers your head asshole with big respect. Happy?"
He replied making my smile wider. Haha.
Andria Jay Del Valle
"It was already done po, it wasn't effective anymore-,-"
I responded using sarcasm.
Jayden Traves
"It's ok po drama well po just choose to entered in a relationship and then crying in the corner"
He responded making me frown. Aba't, he really even copied the way I'm using po 😴.
Andria Jay Del Valle
"Whatever you say ugly piggy proggy *hugs you back and squeezes*"
I don't know, but it seems like he was pissed off again🤦🏽♀️
Jayden Traves
"Tssk pathetic"
I didn't understand what I did to felt his pissed off. Did I do something wrong?
Andria Jay Del Valle
"And besides, you were acting as if you didn't like my drama. What was it again? ah you want to see me cry right? right? right?"
I added.
Jayden Traves
"Did I see it?"
I scoffed as his word stings. What just happened?
Andria Jay Del Valle
"At least you knew that I cried right? right?"
I reason out.
Jayden Traves
"What I want to see is different from what I learned"
He's been out of control again. I couldn't get why he's acting like this hayss.
Andria Jay Del Valle
"And besides the way you just tell I was eager to enter into a relationship and just cry in the corner seems like you didn't even tell me anything back then? What was it again? ah past time"
I reminded.
Jayden Traves
"Well, you're just really a past"
He replied makes me feel that his senses are calming slowly yet I'm the one who's in range.
Andria Jay Del Valle
"Yeah right. So what's the difference? He treated me as his rebound, you're treating me as your past time. oha...it will always be the same and I will always end up being attached and in pain-,- tada they rhyme yes👏👏👏"
I replied hyperly again.
Jayden Traves
"Rebound and past time, all of it is you"
Andria Jay Del Valle
"Yeah, I know and I accepted it-,-since back then"
I replied accepting the fact that it was just my role in others' lives, though somehow it was true and I don't care as long as I have my family, myself, and Papa God. I know everything has a reason.
Jayden Traves
"You've been used to be a rebound, and then got used again to be a past time"
Andria Jay Del Valle
"A choice to be exact"
It's funny how we throw and judge myself as if it were another person🤦♀️ . Maybe, I'm really weird.
Jayden Traves
"Is it hurt? go, make others smile"
Why was he so annoyed 😕😕
Andria Jay Del Valle
"A life of every kind-hearted-,- oh what do you want me to do then? distance myself? I'm also building walls, you're the only one who's knocking on it and gets my trust-,-"
I reason out defending myself at least.
Jayden Traves
"'Don't blame yourself for being kind because it was your choice. Why did you give it?"
It's as if something inside me was burning. It's infuriating. I don't know what I did for him to act like this. It was like he was attacking and hitting the different kinds of my emotions..
Andria Jay Del Valle
"Alright fine, I shouldn't trust like that😒😒😒😒"
I replied glaring at my phone. I'm trying to open myself up, meet someone new, and trust them but because of his action, I felt like I shouldn't.
Jayden Traves
"Yeah especially if you knew it only hurts you at the end"
Andria Jay Del Valle
"Ah ok po...noted po...I shouldn't let myself get attached to you. I'll just go with kuya Ken, even though he was harsh sometimes, at least he still stays, though I know he will leave me soon-,-"
Using po is one of my ways to prevent myself from being pissed off and sometimes my sign that I'm getting annoyed. Po sometimes is a sarcasm.
Jayden Traves
"Just do it and then ends up crying"
Why does he sound so bitter? Tsk
Andria Jay Del Valle
"Yes po, and you shouldn't do something that makes me get attached ok po"
I know sooner or later he will leave too. People come and go. If you choose to stay, then you'll lose in the end of the day.
Jayden Traves
"Cuz there's no permanent"
He replied leading me to remember someone.
Andria Jay Del Valle
"I remember what Hudz told me. I should be used to being left behind because everyone leaves."
Hudz is also one of my comfort zones. My first friend ever here in RP.
Jayden Traves
"Because that's reality"
Andria Jay Del Valle
" Yeah yeah I know"
I second the motion to close the topic.
Jayden Traves
"See, just find someone instead of being dramatic"
He replied making my blood boil a little bit again. He really doesn't want to drop the topic. He's unpredictable and unexplainable.
Andria Jay Del Valle
"It will always be the same routine duh"
I'm trying to prevent myself from being out of control.
Jayden Traves
"Not in rp but in rw"
He suggested leading me to scoof.
Andria Jay Del Valle
"And I don't want amp-,-amp"
Not in RW, it's more complicated. More scary. If I'm already like this here in RP, then I don't know what will happen if it's already in the real world
Jayden Traves
"Ok then don't"
Andria Jay Del Valle
"Like as if you're also doing it duh"
Jayden Traves
"Yeah anytime I want"
He replied makes me smirk from what I realized.
Andria Jay Del Valle
"Oh, eh why don't you do it instead?"
I pushed back.
Jayden Traves
"I just don't want. I'm too lazy to court and please someone"
He replied giving me a way to make the situation in my favor. It's my turn right now. I smirked as I sent my response.
Andria Jay Del Valle
"Because you already contented loving her even though she loves someone else😝😝😝you fart"
I point out his feelings for his childhood that he didn't even know if it was just a sister or more than.
"I really want to pinch something pprruu-,-"
I added.
Jayden Traves
"You already said that I'm contented"
He replied and typed again.
"Just do it in another unggoy"
He added.
Andria Jay Del Valle
"Nah, monkeys are way too cute to pin down on the ground"
Jayden Traves
"Choosy"
So I'm the choosy one now, tsk.
Andria Jay Del Valle
"No, you were more choosy. You see, you find monkeys ugly even though they were cute especially when they eat banana"
I reason out. I don't know too why I find monkeys entertaining. Maybe I'm just a pet lover which is why I found them cute.
Jayden Traves
"I would be glad if they looked like you"
Andria Jay Del Valle
"Aawweeii so my face makes you glad?"
I replied jokily just to change the topic pft.
Jayden Traves
"Yeah if you look like them. You said monkeys are cute, then you should have the same face"
Andria Jay Del Valle
"Duh, how can we have the same face if I were a human duh. You were just the only one who's frog here. Another one YOUR A FFFRRRROOOGGGG there, capslock for you to see it"
It's way better compared to our atmosphere earlier.
Jayden Traves
"A copycat, you're a dwarf with big eyes"
Andria Jay Del Valle
"At least cute-,- compare to you a real frog"
I find it enjoyable to have a conversation like this with him, it helps me to boost my confidence.
Jayden Traves
"😒"
I smiled as I saw the emoji that he responded with. Pft he'll get annoyed for just another minute haha. I typed my response again to pissed him off more. It's my revenge for what he had done earlier.
Andria Jay Del Valle
"How about you, got stretched for real😝😝😝😝😝😝"
I added pft.
Jayden Traves
"At least I'm tall while you were onanay, a dwarf"
I bite my lips to suppress my laughter. He'll give up sooner pft.
Andria Jay Del Valle
"Yeah a tall man who usually bumps into something"
Payback time.
Jayden Traves
"It will be stupid if I always bump into something. I'm not like you who already know you will get hurt but still choose to dive"
Maybe I made a wrong move. It seems like the topic earlier will be opened up again.
Andria Jay Del Valle
"At least I got experience unlike you who had a boring life-,-Being contented following that one girl on her back while shopping like a dog😴"
Jayden Traves
"A dog? Like what, wtf. Do you know the bonding time?"
I don't know if he was surprised by what I've said or if he was just annoyed. His reactions feel like intensified
Andria Jay Del Valle
"Where did you see a bonding time with someone at the back? hahahaha because you know...nvm-,-"
I stop myself from saying some words that might be below his belt. I should really control myself hayss, it's kinda frustrating being out of control sometimes.
Jayden Traves
"How did you know I was on the back?"
Andria Jay Del Valle
"Wwaaahhhh like why did you even open that topic back ha😒😒😒"
I ranted because I could feel I was crossing the line again and getting offensive. Hayss, it's hard to control your own emotions and thoughts sometimes.
Jayden Traves
"Who started it?"
Andria Jay Del Valle
"Just stop -,- of course you're the one who started it, we were just talking about hijack earlier amp"
I reason out in order for him to take the blame.
Jayden Traves
"Whatever just make the others happy"
Here he is again on being bitter🤧. I wonder if I did something wrong. Did I hurt him? Did I trigger those memories of him that he's keeping? I don't understand.
Andria Jay Del Valle
"*pulsated your forehead* Here you are again e-,-"
I replied childishly to make him stop.
Jayden Traves
"I just want to so YOU COULD FEEL THE PAIN. Gago with respect"
His rejoinder made me pout. I guess, I said something below the belt without realizing it. Hayss. It's stressful.