I didn't know days could feel this long.
Not slow…not quiet…
just empty.
1 September
I don't feel like myself anymore.I don't even know what's missing… but something is.
It wasn't just about you not being there.
It was about everything that left with you.
The mornings felt incomplete.
No messages.No small "good morning" that I didn't realize I had started depending on.
The nights felt worse.
Too silent.Too heavy.
Like something was supposed to happen… but never did.
"Some absences don't make noise… they just leave a silence that stays all day."
I didn't understand it.
Didn't understand how I got so attached.
How someone who came into my life so normally…became something I couldn't spend a day without.
3 September
Why does everything remind me of him?Even the smallest things.
I tried to distract myself.
Talk to people.Stay busy.
But nothing stayed.
Nothing felt right.
Because every thought…
somehow ended with you.
All I wanted—
was to talk again.
Just once.
Normally.
Like before.
No misunderstandings.No distance.
Just us.
"Sometimes, you don't want a new beginning… you just want things to go back to how they were."
I kept thinking—
maybe I should text you.
Maybe I should explain.
Maybe I should fix it.
But something always stopped me.
Ego.Fear.Or maybe…
the doubt that you wouldn't care the same way.
5 September
I think about him more than I talk to anyone else now.
I stopped talking much.
Not because I didn't want to—
but because I didn't feel like it.
The girl who used to laugh at everything,talk nonstop,find happiness in small things—
she felt distant.
Even to me.
Now, most of my days were quiet.
Spent with music.
Songs became my escape.
My distraction.
My way of feeling something… without breaking down completely.
"When words fail, music speaks the emotions we don't know how to express."
I listened.
Again and again.
The same songs.
The same feelings.
The same thoughts.
You.
Always you.
I didn't even realize it then…
but everything that mattered to me—
had somehow started revolving around you.
And maybe the strangest part?
I still didn't call it love.
I just knew—
I missed you.
More than I should.
7 September
I think I need to go back.Back to university. Back to everything.
Staying at home made it worse.
Too much time to think.
Too much silence.
Too many memories.
Maybe if I went back…
things would change.
Maybe I'd see you again.
Maybe we'd talk.
Maybe…
everything would feel normal again.
"Sometimes, we hold onto places not because of the place… but because of the person we hope to find there."
And that hope—
was the only thing I had left.
"Some people become so special in such a short time… while others don't, even after years.Maybe it's not about time… maybe it's about how they make us feel, and how we begin to feel because of them."