"Hey you've been doing this alot lately." A voice came from behind me. Who else it was T.
"Maybe I have no choice but to accept he likes him."
"As a..." T stated and turned to me. My heart had already suck and my smiley face was expression less.
"Be happy. I am confident he likes you too."
"I doubt." I stated and turned ready to leave.
"Avoid him for three days. He'll look for you." T stated and followed the duo.
"Hey." I stated as I placed my books on the desk. Today it was purely theory.
"What?"
"It's odd. Jay has been avoiding me."
"Why say so?"
"Yesterday I found him at the main cafeteria. He was with Tiw but when he saw me he walked away. At home whenever he sees me he hides or forms conversations with Winny.
"Not abnormal. He saw you with Rick the other day and heard a bit on how he chased Nick."
"Shit!"
"What are you cursing on?" T asked as the teacher walked in. He greeted and the lesson begun.
"He might think I'm into him."
"You are not?"
"Obviously. You of all people why are you asking?"
"Did you do it?"
"What?"
"Chum chum" Tiw stated as he laughed. He had his lips stick out from their normal position.
"Chum my ass." Jay responded as he begun painting.
"What kind of art today?"
"Blank piece."
"Try it. They are not dating if it is about Rick. My little slender friend still has a chance with the mascular guy. You can be a good wife." Tiw stated laughing.
"So are you the wife or husband?"
"Husband. You know while on bed. You can let him be too or bottom."
"You know alot."
"I have explored. Both men and women."
"Hmph. What of T?"
"After I declined he shut all the doors so I don't think I have a chance."
"Our explorer has no chance." Jay whispered happily. Tiw always gave him bits of courage. A teacher who uses non of his skills.
"Yeah man." He responded as they continued painting.
TEN YEARS AGO.
I was seated there. My eyes bare from the crying I had done for several hours. The nine year old me had no clue. Then warm smooth fingers touched me. I looked up.
"Mum" I stated as she came down to the cushion I was on.
"What is disturbing my boy?"
"Mum do I like Rick?" She laughed slightly. I looked at her with fierce eyes
"What makes you say that?" Her african accent took over.
"I don't know. It's what describes. How dad explains it."
"Okay then what if I ask. Yes or no as answers." She stated stroking her son's hair.
"Mmh" he responded then covered his face. Afraid.
"Do you feel happy when with him?"
"Yes."
"Does your heart beat fast when he is close to you?"
"Yes."
"Is it out of fear or comfort?"
"Mum you are cheating."
"Answer. Do you fear he'll leave you some day?"
"Yes."
"That's out of fear. Are you sad if he's injured?"
"Yes."
"Do you want to care for him alot?"
"Yes."
"Does his thoughts wonder in you?"
"What do you mean?"
"Do you ask yourself what he's thinking how he's been what he wants..."
"At times."
"Ask yourself all these."
"What do you mean?"
"Love is different. This is where your heart controls it all. We can't answer with a yes or no as per friends like Rick but our heart answers it all. He's a friend. One day he'll leave so don't fear. You'll get more friends but when it comes to love yes or no aren't involved. It is your heart." She said and hugged him. He had finally calmed down. He hadn't thought of Rick as more than a friend. What a relief.
PRESENT
He took up the cold air. That bit of a memory gave him a smile. Though never described with Jay he felt different. As mummy said his heart had no clue. Yes or no couldn't solve it but Jay could.
I had thought severally before stepping on the staircase. My heart beat raging. What if he declined what was I to do? Where would I place my head to look when he was around? I shrugged the thought off.
" Maybe we'd both realese our feelings." I said in my heart as I finally walked up to him. Once close I cleared my throught and he turned. My heartbeat was nearly at a hundred.
"Hi." I hesitated and moved closer.
"Hi about Rick..." He wished to clear it up but my anxiety was hitting hard.
"Can you please let me..." I stated and before I finished plastered my whinny lips on his. No movements.My eyes were closed. I dared not open them. My mind went blank. Everything Tiw told me dissapeared.
"Shit! This was silly." I told myself. I had no answers just Dew who for sure was now perplexed.
"Sorry." I stated as I pushed away slowly. Strong arms grabbed my waist. My head which was already on a turning point turned. Our eyes met. I could see it all. The desire in him. My heart pounded louder. By the use of his other hand he pulled my neck close to his and plastered his lips on mine. At first my mind went blank. I barely knew the next step yet parted my lips as if to let him in. His toungue came in first. It was as if he was a pro. Then his lower lip as he slowly sucked my upper one. His change in position made it easier for me to master the pattern. His hands held onto me tighter.
"It's nice. Not disgusting. You wish the moment lasts forever. Your heart beats louder and faster than ever. If you aren't so strong you might have an erection determining how long and passionate it is. It's like the most wonderful thing." The words repeated themselves in my head. Then he slowly sucked my lower lip as he let go. They both felt numb. I looked down already shy. Then I ran back hurriedly.
"Hey T I need your help." Dew stated as he entered his room.
"What boss?" T asked. He was always fast in answering his bosses calls.
"He kissed me."
"Kissed you like Jay?" T asked confused. The two had feelings for each other but barely interacted. His boss was a slow burn how did a less come through?
"So like how was it?" He asked well knowing his boss could never give himself to anyone freely unlike him. Dew paced round the room as T listened keenly watching him from screen end to end.
",He kissed me then when he was about to leave I pulled him back. It was like reflex. Just as mum said."
"Then?" T asked. He knew first experience, well he himself had it tough. He shrugged the thought. Dew held his head and rubbed it hard.
"What?" T asked yet again.
"I felt it moving." He whispered. T let out a loud laugh.
"You never experienced it?"
"How could I? That was my first kiss bitch."
"And you really never snuck out to watch porn." T said even more invested. You are still a kid on such stuff. Just go shower a cold one. Stop thinking of him and the damn kiss. That can handle it coz you never helped yourself before."
"Am I abnormal?"
"Go shower bitch." He responded and turned to another app.
"Tiw. I did it. I kissed him."
"Why send it to the group chat?"
"Fuck." He stated as he deleted the message. They had all seen it. He shut his phone as he coiled himself in the blanket as he remembered the scene. He screamed in his heart. His joy was undescribable. He was now certain he liked him.