"Alright, then…" I nodded absentmindedly as I placed him back on my shoulder.
"Cross, while we're on the subject… how much do you know about the Ancient Weapons?" Robin asked.
I hesitated slightly before answering, starting to tick off my fingers. "Uranus, I don't know anything about, though the name makes me think it's probably the strongest of the three, and given the naming themes, probably based upon the sky. Pluton, I have the vaguest suspicions as to what it is. And Poseidon…" I grimaced and shuddered miserably. "Not as many of the details as you, I'm sure, but I know that if anyone were to start investigating, Fishman Island would be razed."
Robin actually paled, a look of raw terror crossing her face. "It's been—!?"
"Yes, but it's almost completely under wraps, she has little to no clue how to activate it, and she's one of the most gentle and innocent individuals in the world," I hastily reassured her.
I suddenly found a phantom limb wrapped around my neck as Robin loomed over me. "Almost under wraps?" she repeated.
"O-one jackass outside of her family, just one!" I stammered out desperately as I tugged at the limb. "He's not sharing the intel, and he's incompetent enough that he'd be no threat without his Devil Fruit powers! He's been trying to achieve the same Catch-22 plot for years! Hell, he's the reason she's the most protected mermaid alive!"
Robin processed that slowly. Then, to my relief, the hand vanished. "Then I assume that for the time being, we should forget that this conversation ever happened?"
"My thoughts exactly," I agreed. She nodded, and a glance at Soundbite showed that he shared the understanding. Robin sighed.
"Well, so far, this has been the most emotional day I've had for the last several years… and you're enjoying it, aren't you?"
I grinned cheekily. "Who, me? Excited over how I've managed to break your Ice Queen facade like I'm armed with an icepick? Perish the thought. Now, come on," I waved forward as I started walking towards where the rest of the crew was assembled around the pillar. "Let's get back to our friends; something serious must be going on if they didn't notice any of this."
"OH, it's serious, ALRIGHT! DIVIDING THE PLUNDER!" Soundbite crowd.
Robin watched me for a second before sighing and following along. "Well, if we must…" She cocked an eyebrow when I chuckled slightly. "What?"
I widened my grin eagerly. "You didn't redefine them as crewmates when I called them our friends."
The last glimpse I got of her face before she froze in place was a look of poleaxed realization, and it was glorious.
But alas, my attention then turned to the more conspicuous of the uncommon events occurring to us: our rubber-brained captain in a shouting match with our gold-tongued navigator.
"COME ON, NAMI, WE'VE GOT ALL THAT GOLD, DON'T BE STINGY! THIS IS FRAUD, DAMN IT!" Luffy yelled.
"STINGY!? I'M LETTING THE CREW HAVE TEN PERCENT OF ALL THE GOLD WE'VE FOUND! THAT'S NOT STINGY, THAT'S GENEROUS BEYOND ALL BELIEF!" Nami snarled irately.
"I don't know what's scarier, the fact that I think she believes that or the fact that when it comes to her, it's actually true," Donny muttered beneath his breath before hastily ducking under a kick from Sanji.
"THAT'S NOT EVEN ENOUGH FOR HALF OF MY MEAT SUPPLY! WE NEED AT LEAST EIGHTY PERCENT!"
"Ugh, you and that stupid appetite… FINE, TWELVE PERCENT!"
"NINETY PERCENT!"
"YOU'RE GOING THE WRONG WAY, DUMBASS!"
"I'm just following your modus operandi!" Luffy retorted.
"Ah…" Nami paused. "Alright, fair enough…" Then she frowned in confusion. "Wait, modus—?"
"Anyways, maybe we can compromise with a hundred and five percent?"
"I WILL CUT YOU!" Nami snarled, brandishing a very familiar sword as she prepared to draw it.
"Wha—KITETSU?! GIVE ME BACK MY SWORD, WOMAN!" Zoro demanded.
"Are you really going to pretend that that hell-blade doesn't probably enjoy being wielded by people with her current state of mind?" I deadpanned.
"…withdrawn," Zoro conceded only semi-reluctantly.
"Alright! 200%, that's my final offer!" Luffy declared.
It was an unholy screech that was likely to wake Calgara himself that tore out of our navigator's throat, and she ripped the blade out of its sheath—
"DOUBLE FIVE SQUARED PERCENT!"
"DEAL!" Only for her to whoop and swing the blade around so that it was pointing at—
"Vivi!?" Pretty much all of the crew, minus the yet-euphoric Nami, blurted in confusion.
"Put it there," the princess said, extending her hand with a winning smile.
"Heeheeheehee! Sucker!" Nami squealed ecstatically as she grabbed her friend's hand and shook it vigorously. "Now I have—!"
"Fifty percent of the gold, yes," Vivi confirmed calmly, her voice never changing inflection.
"—fifty—WHAT!?" Nami screamed in shock, letting go of Vivi's hand as though it were a live eel. "But-but-but that's not what you said, you said five per—!"
"No, I said double five squared percent," Vivi corrected, still entirely unfazed.
Nami promptly dropped Kitetsu the Third—which drew an angered "HEY!" from Zoro that she ignored—in favour of counting on her fingers and muttering under her breath in a manic tone. Without warning, she suddenly froze and sloooowly looked up, a thoroughly haunted look in her eyes.
"What just happened?" she whispered in horror.
"Oh, nothing much," Vivi said sweetly. "I just demonstrated exactly how good a negotiator I can be. After all, if I can make you agree to a 50/50 split…"
She let it hang there, and I slowly began clapping, with Zoro and several others following my example.
"So, was that good, Vivi?" Luffy asked with a grin.
"You did very well, Luffy," Vivi smiled as she patted our captain's back. "You'll be getting a full five percent of that for your diet."
"WOO!" Luffy pumped his fists in the air. "That's four percent more than what I usually get!"
Nami whimpered unintelligibly. I can't be sure, but I think she might have had something of a stroke at that point. I wish I could have let the moment go on longer; it was funny in a twisted sort of way, but we had bigger things to worry about.
"Alright, as amusing as this is, I need to insist on ninety percent of what we get from the pillar being set aside for no—AGH!"
"Say that again, Cross, I dare you…" Nami snarled, hauling me a full three feet off the air by my collar. I swear, the World Government would have given her Robin's epithet in a heartbeat if they could see the look on her face. But nevertheless, I forced down my fear and forged on.
"N-Nami, t-this isn't for something that I want, it's for something that all of us NEED. Now, are you going to let me explain the exact gravity of the situation…" I started to trail my hand towards my bag. "Or do I need to break you out of your blood rage the hard way?"
"NO!" screamed… pretty much everyone else on the crew, and everyone else in earshot, to boot. Upon seeing that Nami was waiting for me to speak, I turned to our sniper.
"Usopp. Tell them what's at stake here," I said.
Usopp gulped as all attention—including Nami's rage—was directed at him. He glared at me for a few seconds, but then shook his head with a sigh. "I shouldn't be angry, I want to explain this myself…" he muttered to himself as his expression hardened. "Guys, you need to know this. Remember how the Merry was repaired back to its original state before the Survival Game started?"
Our crewmates looked at one another in confusion. "Uh, yeah?" Vivi finally nodded slowly in agreement. "We were all really impressed by how well you and Cross did. What about it?"
"Well, see, that's the thing…" Usopp bowed his head and cupped his chin solemnly. "The fact is… Cross didn't do a lot that night, and I wasn't a part of the repairs until midway through myself. Someone else repaired the Merry and restored her to her original state."
"So, what are you saying that we owe them money for that? Because I'm not giving—" Nami began angrily.
"Shut up, Nami," Usopp, Soundbite, and I cut her off frigidly, our tone of voice even going so far as to freeze Sanji, causing the navigator to let me go.
"OW!"
Alright, so maybe 'drop' was a more appropriate word.
"Look, Nami…" Usopp stated solemnly. "We don't owe the person who repaired the Merry anything except our utmost gratitude, because… because…" the sniper bit his lip in an effort to keep his emotions under control.
I sighed heavily as I stood up, arms crossed and head bowed. "It was the Merry," I revealed. "The Merry manifested a body and repaired herself." I promptly snapped a hand up. "And before anyone says anything, take the last 72 hours into account."
Everyone looked confused at first… then understanding… then contemplative… and finally, dumbfounded.
"…she actually manifested a Klabautermann, didn't she?" Sanji whispered in awe.
I nodded gravely. "It was the whole reason that I pulled that stunt with the ghost story: so that you all would dogpile me and give me a valid excuse to be onboard her that night. I hoped to feign not knowing she would manifest, and it worked." I grimaced, trying to keep a hold on my emotions. "I… I met her. I talked to her, I helped her. A-and—tsk…" I snapped my teeth shut miserably.
Damn it, my voice broke. I pressed a hand to my forehead, trying to stay strong, but… but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't keep the memories of Merry's death out of my mind. Memories of wood splitting, of fires blazing… and that… well, if Oda himself couldn't keep from crying at that part, how was I supposed to when I was witnessing the lead-up to it first-freaking-hand?!
It was too much for me; I collapsed, sobbing just like I had the night I told them my secret. "…Even after everything I've tried… she's one step away from the point of no return. She's dying," I whispered.
The crew reacted as one. Some in defiance, some in horror… but the one constant that was present was pure, unabated shock.
"D-dying?" Chopper asked, tearing up.
"No way, that's not possible!" Luffy denied firmly. "The Merry's strong, she's great, she's—!"
"Still from the East Blue, Captain," Zoro finished solemnly.
"Zoro!" Vivi cut in, scandalized.
"She was built for a normal ocean, Vivi," Nami croaked, her lust-induced rage long gone and her gaze somewhat far off. "She was built for the East Blue, the weakest of the four Blues. Not the hell that the Grand Line has been throwing at us since we left Reverse Mountain."
"Unfortunately, Princess, Nami and the Mosshead are right," Sanji sighed, blowing out a puff of smoke. "People grow past injuries and get stronger… but for ships, the injuries just keep piling up, never healing."
"Then… Merry's nearing the end of her line…" Boss said quietly, unusually sombre.
"But she's not there yet," Usopp snapped, more serious than any of us had ever seen him, despite the tears in his eyes. "We still have a chance to save her. Sailing with us all this time, she got a dream of her own: to stay with us, to go on adventures with us, even with her… limitations," he forced out the word. "And Cross promised her that we'd find a way to make that happen."
I jerked my head away as I felt a cool look burn into me from where Robin was standing. "It was a stupid promise that I should never have made, Usopp." I got to my feet and weathered the rest of the crew looking at me with expressions ranging from anger, shock, and outright disapproval. "Come off it, all of you. I know it sounds bad, but facts are facts: I made a promise I can't guarantee I can keep. I mean…" I gripped my head miserably. "Believe me, I want to see the Merry survive just as much as any of you, but realistically? Look at me." I spread my arms. "Look at my track record. I'm making differences, sure, but in the long run, all I'm doing is a mere blip. The long and short of it is that things are still trudging along as per normal. And while there have been some good changes…" I nodded at the Dugongs and Lassoo before frowning at Vivi and Carue. "There have been some bad ones, too. When all's said and done, I… I just don't know if the best I can do is going to be good enough."
"Tell me this, Cross," Usopp said, about as angry as when he duelled Luffy. "Do you have any kind of plan in mind for how to do this? Do you have any ideas?"
"Of course I do!" I snapped. "And it's the best chance in the world that we're going to get, but—"
"Then that'll work," Usopp interrupted firmly, crossing his arms. "We have a chance for it to work, so we'll all make it work."
I stared at him silently for a moment before sighing in defeat. "Well, shit, it's hard to argue with that attitude…" But nonetheless, I decided to try, starting with a firm glare. "But knowing Merry, I trust that she already told you that if, if this chance fails… You need to be prepared to let go, right? Because if you hang on, if you go past the pale on this… we will never forget the consequences."
Usopp tensed at my words, biting his lip. I noted nervously that drops of blood were falling from his fingernails, which were out-and-out burrowed in his palms. Finally, he replied.
"If we've done everything that we can, exhausted every option we've got, and it's not enough… then I'll let go. But not any sooner than that," he swore.
"My thoughts exactly," I nodded, and then looked back at our navigator. "Nami, for the chance I have in mind—"
"Cross, I might have something of an obsession, and I know that I might act like it sometimes, but don't think that I'm really heartless," Nami cut me off frigidly. "The whole of the gold is for the Merry first. We'll split things 40-60—"
"Fifty-fifty," Vivi interrupted flatly.
Nami grimaced and shuddered in revulsion. "That way with whatever's left. But first, we find out how much of it the Merry needs."
I nodded gratefully before turning a contemplative gaze on the pillar. "Then I guess the only question that remains is how much of this we'll be leaving behind—HRK!" I scrabbled at the iron-like hand that was lifting me off the GROUND BY MY THROAT. OH FUCK!
"I will feast on your entrails!" Nami hissed in a voice reserved for the damned, a truly unholy light blazing in her eyes.
The Latin chanting Soundbite didn't help matters, either.
"Nami," Usopp cut in, still locked in serious mode, a serious mode that was harshly shaken when Nami turned her hellish gaze upon him. Nevertheless, he swallowed heavily and powered through. "I-If we t-try taking that whole thing, Merry will sink as soon as we get back to the Blue Sea. Heck, it would probably drag us straight through the White Sea itself!"
Nami stilled and slowly released her grasp on me, allowing me to land somewhat gracefully… or as gracefully as a person could when they fell on their ass. Her expression was dark. "…Usopp. Go and find out exactly how much space we can spare on the Merry that won't compromise her. If we miss a single square inch that we can spare, then I give you my word…" She lashed her hand out and nearly crushed Usopp's shoulder to a pulp, causing him to whimper. "I will empty you out and use your sorry hide as a sack, do I make myself clear?"
"Y-y-y-yes m-ma'am," Usopp whimpered.
"THEN GET GOING!" she roared, and I swear that Usopp Shaved away. And with that, Nami's rage evaporated, and she fell on the pillar, embracing it as though it were her own child and quietly crying. "Oh, my dear, sweet gold… what can we do with the rest of you?" she sobbed.
It would have been almost heartwarming, were it not for the fact that she was basically committing the greatest act of avarice I'd ever seen in my life and… well…
"Am I the only one seeing her dry hump that thing?" I asked queasily.
"Unfortunately, you're not," Lassoo deadpanned. "Seriously, she's doing it better than most of my kind…"
"Students, take note of this moment, for it holds a most valuable lesson," Boss moaned as he slapped a flipper over his eyes. "What is seen… can never be un-seen…"
"Aye-aye, Boss…" the students groaned.
"Will somebody please find some way to stop her before she destroys what little dignity she has left?" Vivi groaned as she slapped her hands over her eyes.
"Way ahead of you, Vivi," Zoro said. I uncovered my eyes and looked at him. Then I did a double-take and saw that he was holding all three of his swords and heading towards the pillar.
"MOSSHEAD—!" Sanji began furiously.
"Can it, cook, I'm not going to touch her. But I've been thinking about this move for a while, and I finally figured out how to pull it off during all the craziness yesterday," Zoro said with a grin before dashing towards the center of the pillar, a fair distance away from Nami.
"Three Sword Style BURST: FIVE-SENSE RAVAGER!" he called out before letting out a very precise series of thin flying slashes at the pillar, drawing Nami's attention away from her grief. Said grief promptly evaporated into indignation, then devolved into anger, before finally exploding into outright ecstasy. The crew as a whole, even Sanji, gaped: the result of Zoro's slashes, carved on the pillar and clearly visible from any distance, was unmistakably the Straw Hat Pirates' Jolly Roger.
"Zoro…" she breathed numbly, tears glistening in her eyes. "It's… it's…"
"Mine."
Nami's head promptly snapped a truly unhealthy ninety degrees to the side so that she could glare brimstone at Zoro. "WHAT WAS THAT?" she rumbled viciously.
Zoro was entirely unfazed as he replaced his blades in their sheaths. "Nobody officially claimed this thing yet. Not you, not Robin, not anyone. Up until this moment, this pillar was free gold. But now that I've marked it, I've brought it into the crew myself. As such, it's entirely my share. And as my share, I've decided to give it… to you." The swordsman grinned in a truly triumphant manner. "I'd say this about covers my debt, wouldn't you?"
And just like that, the flame in Nami just… died. Like some great divine being had reached out and snuffed it out. She just stood there, swaying on her feet and looking somewhat dead to the world. Slowly, she turned her eyes to the pillar, then to Zoro, then to the pillar yet again before ultimately returning to Zoro. Her mouth flapped like a beached fish, trying to find words where there were none. For almost a minute, she did this… until all the muscles in her body tensed as one, her eyes rolled up in her head, and she keeled over backward.
"NAMI-SWAN!" Sanji cried as he rushed to her side.
I cocked an eyebrow as I watched her shudder on the ground, foam bubbling out of her mouth. "Wow. This… this is something else entirely."
"Ahh…" Carue slowly raised a wing. "I'm confused… is she haffing a hawt attack, a stwoke, ow an aneuwysm?"
Chopper dug a penlight out of his bag and shone it in her eyes. Well, the whites of her eyes, anyway. "Unless I miss my guess? All three at once."
"Isn't any one of those potentially fatal, Mister Tony?" Robin asked uneasily.
"Oh, yeah, that's completely right," Chopper started to nod… before flipping out and waving his hooves frantically. "AAAAAH! WE NEED A DOCTOR! WE NEED A—NO, WAIT!" Chopper suddenly froze and whipped out a massive syringe from his bag, brandishing it with a demented smile. "I AM A DOCTOR!"
THWACK!
"OW!…thanks, Sanji."
"You're welcome. NOW, HELP NAMI-SWAN!"
"O-ON IT!"
---
Ultimately, by the time Chopper managed to wake Nami, Usopp had returned with a thoroughly triple-checked survey of the Merry's holding capacity. Men's room, women's room, dining room, kitchen, storage, he had inspected everywhere on the ship that was indoors, correctly reasoning that Nami wouldn't want any of her gold in the open where anyone could potentially see and steal it.
With the amount established, we measured out the pillar, double-checking that we were right before Zoro sliced off the amount we could carry. We'd also taken the time to have Chopper stuff Nola's nostrils with an anesthetic he cooked up, allowing the crew to re-enter her stomach without worry and gather up every last piece of gold they could locate, practically doubling the amount of 'loose change' we managed to gather. If you could define a heaping pile of gold.
In the end, it took Zoro, Luffy, and Sanji working together to haul the full-sized fortune back to the Merry, where Zoro and Leo began carving it up under Usopp's direction.
The rest of us, however, found ourselves distracted by the unexpected guest that awaited us on the deck of the Merry, standing beside a few crates. "So, I take it that you're leaving?" Conis smiled expectantly.
"Afraid so, Conis," I said, smiling wistfully. "We'd love to stay, but in the end, well… we are pirates. It's time for us to set sail for the next great adventure on the Blue Sea. You here to see us off?"
"Because if so, I'm so glad you did!" Sanji swooned eagerly. "For what better way is there to leave heaven than to be bidden goodbye by an angel?"
"Heaven, my still burnt-smelling fur…" Lassoo grumbled as he padded up the gangplank. "If anyone needs me, I'll be sleeping."
"Big surprise…" Soundbite rolled his eyes.
"Either way, it's been really great knowing you, Conis," Vivi smiled as she held the angel's hands. "We know that things started out rough, but you've been a great friend. I doubt we could have done even half as much as we did without your help."
Conis smiled back gratefully. "That's kind of you to say, Vivi, and you've all done incredible things up here I doubt I can ever repay you for. But!" She stuck up a finger proudly. "I'd like to think that I can at least start by giving you one final present before you go."
"Oh, yeah?" Nami warily eyed the crates beside Conis. "Well, it better not be too big. In case you haven't noticed, we're already a bit pressed for space as is."
Conis glanced at the block of metal that we were in the midst of dismantling. "So I can see…" she started uneasily before shaking her head and smiling confidently. "But I took the liberty of looking your ship over, and I think that your weapons room has enough space for what I'm giving you."
The whole crew, myself included, swapped confused looks until I slowly looked back at Conis. "What… exactly are you giving us, Conis?" I asked slowly.
Her smile widened eagerly as she flipped the lid of the biggest of the crates. "A gunner."
I gazed into the box with awe. "Oh, holy shit."
Lassoo abruptly appeared next to me, panting eagerly. "I am suddenly very interested in these developments!" he barked eagerly.
Lying before us was a bazooka. And not just any bazooka, mind you, I recognized this piece of hardware: it was a full-blown Burn Bazooka, packed into the crate with straw as you see in gun deals on crime sh—
I froze as a thought struck me before slowly opening up the rest of the crates. I boggled at the sight that met me. "Allow me to reiterate. Holy shit."
"Woooow…" Luffy and Chopper breathed in agreement.
That sentiment accurately summarized the crew's general opinion, because before us was nothing short of a legitimate arsenal of weaponry from all walks of life. It was enough that Usopp, Zoro, and Leo turned their attention back to us, leaving the pillar half-carved as they examined the plethora of death-dealers.
A crate of pistols here, a box of rifles there, shotguns over there, and pretty much everything in between everywhere else! From Blue Sea weaponry to Dial-based firearms, we were packing merely by being in the proximity of this much raw tonnage!
"Well, this isn't something you see every day…" Sanji whistled as he picked out a pistol and looked it over.
Mikey, meanwhile, was much more enthusiastic, picking up a bazooka and perching it on his shoulder. "HAHA! Oh, man, this is awesome! I think we've got enough firepower here to topple a small kingdom!"
"Awe you kidding?" Carue snorted incredulously. "Twust me, if Bawoque Wowks showed me anything, it's that with da wight pwanning, you could conqah an avewage kingdom with this much fiyahpowah!"
"So coo~l!" the orange-bandanna'd Dugong breathed nevertheless.
"Thank-you-thank-you-thank-you!" Usopp repeated endlessly as he spun Conis around in a hug, while Lassoo did his best to try to lick her face off.
I finally managed to tear my gaze away from the weapons in favour of gaping at Conis in shock. "Where the hell did you even find this much firepower?!" I asked numbly.
The angel wrenched herself away from Usopp and Lassoo and wiped herself off before replying. "Well, you see, Cross, Skypiea and the Shandorians have both amassed something of an arsenal over the past few centuries, and now that the war is over, neither side wants to keep more than they really have to." She then grinned sheepishly as she dug into her pocket. "Of course, to seal the deals, I did have to offer something that they would be willing to trade for, which you thankfully provided." She took out a Dial and a few sheets of paper and handed them to me. I took one look at them… and promptly burst out laughing.
"Oh-hoh, my God!" I cackled ecstatically. "Oh, man, that's just brilliant! I—!…I…" I trailed off slowly before slapping a hand to my forehead in realization. "Ah, shit, I'm an idiot."
"Huh? What is it?" Usopp asked in confusion as he tried to look over my shoulder.
"I'm assuming that you traded for Dials using rubber bands and got a pretty good haul, right?" I asked as I pinched the bridge of my nose.
"Oh, yeah, a really good haul! A few Breath Dials, a Tone Dial, a Flash Dial, a Heat Dial, a Flavour Dial, and I even got another Impact Dial! Oh, and that reminds me, Cross," he said, snapping into a businesslike tone. "Your new armour's coming along, but it'll be a little while; I've almost finished the left gauntlet, which is designed so that you can put a Flash Dial in it, but I'm still working on a way to safely incorporate the Impact Dial in the right one. I've almost got it to the point where it'll just feed the recoil back into the Dial, so you won't have to worry about tearing your muscles apart, and the Dial will just keep getting stronger every time you use it!" He grimaced uncomfortably. "Though you'll probably want to discharge it full-out sooner or later, or else it could actually overwhelm the feedback system and… well, I don't think your arms can get any worse, but let's not find out."
"That's really good to hear, Usopp, thanks," I said with a sincere smile before scowling darkly. "But what I was trying to get at was that while you made a killing with rubber bands, you could have cleaned out everyone on this island with this." I held the picture up for him to see.
Everyone gazed up at the picture for all of three seconds. Then everyone, even Conis herself, fell over laughing.
I snorted darkly as I lowered my hand, though I did puff my cheeks out in a chuckle when I caught sight of the picture. Honestly, it's not like I could blame them! You'd have to be completely emotionless not to find a live-action version of Enel freaking out completely drop-dead hilarious.
"Heheheh, yeah. Complete missed opportunity, but it looks like Conis saw the significance of me managing to… snap a… picture, you stole my Vision Dial when you 'bumped' into me, didn't you," I concluded flatly as I turned back towards Conis.
Conis wiped the tears from her eyes with a snicker before nodding firmly. "Y-yeah, sorry about that. I just wanted to surprise you all, and that was the easiest way for me to do it."
I tried to frown for a second, but I ultimately abandoned the effort with a sigh and a smile. "Bah, screw it, no harm, no foul, and at least someone made a profit with that thing. Would have been a shame for a work of art like that to go to waste."
"I agree completely," Nami chuckled. "We need to frame that thing ASAP I'll never get enough of seeing that arrogant son of a bitch's face when Luffy showed him up!"
"That one is good, yes, but I personally like the other one better," Conis said, tugging another paper she gave me out from under that picture. Everyone's laughter renewed when we saw the absolutely epic sight of Luffy kicking Enel in the gut. Even Robin couldn't stay on her feet.
"Heheh, heee…" I wheezed out, wiping away a tear before hefting a bazooka from its crate and looking it over again. "Well, anyway, thanks a lot for this armoury, Conis. It's probably going to take us a while to learn how to use it, but once we do—!"
I was interrupted by Conis hunching over in a renewed fit of giggling.
Soundbite and I exchanged confused glances. "Ahh… am I missing something?" the snail asked hesitantly.
"Only if I am, too…" I shrugged helplessly.
"Heheh…" Conis stood back up as she got her laughter back under control, hiding her smile behind her hand. "I'm sorry for laughing at you, Cross, it's just that it seems you misheard me when I told you what my gift was!"
"Huh?" I blinked in confusion. "What are you—?"
"SON OF A BITCH!" Soundbite roared without warning.
"What, what is it?" I asked.
Soundbite gaped at Conis in shock. "S-S-SHE didn't say she was giving us guns!"
"What?!" Boss scoffed. "That's crazy, of course she did, we all heard her!"
"Actually, Soundbite's right," Conis cut in promptly. "I didn't say that I was giving you guns. I said I was giving you a gunner."
One by one, everyone's eyes widened as the berry dropped.
"Conis…" Vivi breathed, obviously unable to believe what she was hearing. "What exactly are you trying to say?"
Conis smiled eagerly before snatching the bazooka I was holding from my hands, slinging its strap around her body, and flipping the gun over so that she was holding it in an upside-down underslung style. She capped the whole display off by expertly cocking the weapon.
"I'm saying that, considering I know how to use all of these weapons, I'd like to become your crew's gunner!" Conis announced proudly… before shrinking in on herself, hands folded behind her back as she scuffed at the floor with a sheepish smile. "I-If you'll have me, that is…"
For what felt like an absolute eternity, there was nothing but absolute silence. Nobody even so much as reacted when a South Bird flew over us, "JO JO JO"ing without so much as a care in the world.
Finally, however, the crew reacted appropriately.
Half of the reactions, of course, fell somewhere in the "WHAAAT!?" end of the spectrum. The other half, however, varied in predictability:
"OF COURSE, SWEET CONIS, WE'RE GLAD TO HAVE YOU!" Sanji sang.
"WOO, GIRL POWER!" Raphey exclaimed, pumping her fists.
"What have I done, what have I done, what have I done…" I mumbled on repeat as I tried to wrap my head around events.
Usopp jabbed his elbow into Zoro's side in order to break him out of his stupor before holding out his palm. "Pay up."
"Tsk," the swordsman snarled as he dug a wad of bills out of his pocket and slapped them in Usopp's hand. "Out of one hole and into another. I'll get you the rest as soon as we reach land."
"Just make sure the money doesn't have blood on it," Usopp deadpanned as he counted out the cash.
"And I thought the women's quarters were somewhat cramped before…" Robin sighed.
"Oh, don't worry, Robin," Vivi groaned as she ground her fingers into her temple. "Nami's going to be sleeping in storage with most of the gold."
Nami opened her mouth angrily and then let it hang as a line of drool dribbled from the corner of her mouth, a euphoric giggle drifting out.
"Is it just me, or have all of the additions to our crew since me been people being pushy?" Chopper muttered to himself.
Finally, Boss managed to snap out of his shock and focus intently on Conis, who had thus far been thoroughly bemused by our display. "Conis…" he began. "Didn't you say that you wanted to give us this gift to repay us? Because I'll tell you now, Luffy's sort of particular about that sort of thing."
Conis waved her hands with a panicked expression. "Oh, nonono! It's nothing like that, I swear! When I said I was doing this to repay you, I just meant that that was why you all were my first choice! Well, that and because you're my friends, of course…" She was a bit sheepish for a moment before shaking her head and clenching her fists, eyes blazing with determination. "But even if you won't let me join you, then I'll just join the next crew who comes up here, or… or I'll even travel over Cloud's End myself! Either way…" She crossed her arms and looked away sadly. "Either way, I'm going, and… and I'd really like nothing more than to go with you all."
Luffy grinned eagerly. "Of course!"
"Luffy!" Nami cut in with a sharp glare at our captain before giving Conis a concerned look. "I… look, Conis, I'm not complaining about this, I swear, I know better than anyone what it's like to make this kind of decision and I doubt you reached your conclusion lightly, but…" She spread her arms helplessly. "How did this happen? How did you go from the girl we met playing her harp on the beach to, well… you?"
"Well…" Conis bit her lip hesitantly for a second before looking at… me!? "It's actually because of Cross."
Nami, Zoro, and Vivi promptly slapped hands to their faces. "Of course it is…" they chorused flatly.
I was too shocked to be pissed. "Wha—ME!?" I blurted incredulously. "Y-you mean what I said a few—!?"
"No, no, not that!" Conis shook her head hastily. "That was just to remove any doubts I had left about wanting to do this, and you did that wonderfully. I… I meant earlier. When…" She closed her eyes as a shudder wracked her body. "When Enel attacked us."
I winced slightly at a flash of phantom pain before looking at her in confusion. "I—what!? How did that display inspire you to go forth and venture!?"
"Because of what you said!" Conis exclaimed before sighing wistfully. "How you said that the Blue Seas were bigger and more glorious than any of us could ever imagine, how you said that there's so much we don't know. It just… your words resonated with me. And besides that, well…" She smiled sadly. "I was impressed at how you had what I've always lacked: courage."
"What!?" Raphey scoffed. "Are you crazy, woman? You're currently carrying almost half of your bodyweight in a gun! You're a badass!"
"No, I'm a person with training and discipline," Conis responded before wilting. "But until now, I've never actually had the will to apply it. All these years, I've had the means with which to fight against Enel in at least some capacity, but whenever the thought entered my mind…" She trailed off with a fearful shudder before looking back at me. "And yet, you, a Blue Sea Dweller with far less combat ability, when faced with Enel's wrath—head-on, no less… You were stripped of any ability to fight back, facing certain death, and you still had the courage to stand up to him without hesitating once."
She smiled and looked at the crew fondly. "And while that may be the biggest reason, your crew as a whole made an impression on me, challenging Enel and all of his disciples—and winning—just because of someone you met that same day. And even in the middle of all of it, you're still able to relax and celebrate as if nothing was amiss. Seeing what all of you could do, I… well, for a brief moment, I wanted to be a part of it." Her smile then died, rotting into a haunted look. "That… that feeling was one of the only reasons I managed to pull through what happened only an hour later."
It didn't take a genius to figure out what she meant. "Conis, your father didn't die! He's alive!" I protested.
"But I didn't know that at the time!" she shot back tearfully. "I—look, I've never really had any friends before you all, I don't have any other family…" She hugged herself desperately. "F-for as long as I can remember, it's always been my father, Su, and I. They're the only family I've ever known, and when I thought my father d…" Her fingers sank into her arms as she struggled to get the word out. "D-d-died… t-then the only true connection I had left tying me to Skypiea died with him."
Vivi laid a consoling hand on Conis's shoulder. Conis gripped the hand with a grateful smile before taking a calming breath and steeling her expression. "When that happened," she whispered solemnly. "I made a promise to myself. I promised that if we survived this ordeal, if we all lived, then I would leave Skypiea. I would leave the White Sea, and I would go out and explore the glorious world that awaited me with no regrets."
Conis' expression when Pagaya returned flashed through my mind, with a whole new context. "And then you found out that your father was still alive…" I deduced slowly.
Conis shuddered in anguish. "Yes, that… that created something of a conflict." She then perked up with a hopeful, if somewhat confused look. "But, I… I talked it over with my father later that night, and he was… surprisingly encouraging. Sad, of course, but… but he was understanding and he… he said that he approved."
"But of course."
"GYAH!" I jumped almost a full three feet off the ground before wheeling around and glaring daggers at Pagaya, who was standing right behind me. "Don't do that! What if I had a heart condition!?"
"You don't," Chopper deadpanned.
I spared him a glance before rolling my eyes. "Alright, fine, but Enel could have given me one with all that lightning!"
"Not with where he was hitting you."
"WILL YOU WORK WITH ME HERE, DAMN IT!?"
Conis, meanwhile, pushed past me to stand before Pagaya in shock. "F-Father!" she stammered in shock. "W-what are you doing here!?"
Pagaya chuckled fondly as he laid his hands on his daughter's shoulders. "What kind of father would I be if I didn't see my daughter off? And as for your confusion about my willingness to let you leave, well…" he sighed warmly. "I suppose that I am just of the opinion that it is not right for one person to get in the way of another's dreams. If this is truly your dream, Conis, and I believe that it is, then like your mother before you, I won't stand in your way."
Conis stiffened, tears welling up in her eyes before she hugged Pagaya, burying her face in his shoulder as she sobbed joyously, her father patting her back.
I broke the moment slightly by clearing my throat, wincing at the piercing glares the rest of the crew shot at me. "Look, I'm sorry for intruding on this moment, but… Conis' mother? I adamantly refuse to believe that I'm the only one who wants to hear that story."
The rest of the crew glared at me for a moment longer before relaxing and murmuring amongst themselves in agreement.
"It was 24 years ago, before Conis was born."
"Wha—Su!" Conis gasped, turning to face the cloud fox in question.
"I only heard about Serra from my parents, but apparently she was always something of a wanderer, ceaselessly exploring Upper Yard whenever she got the chance," Su continued, pacing on the Merry's railing. "She fell in love with Pagaya over a shared love of Wavers, the freedom to see somewhere on the horizon and go there with just a thought. But no matter how far she went, the White Sea was always too small for her. Then one day, a pirate crew much like yours arrived, and she was presented with an opportunity. A chance to leave, a chance to see the world… a chance to live." The fox paused and hung her head sadly. "It was with a heavy heart that she left her fiancée behind, but her heart yearned for adventure, and she simply couldn't deny it."
Su sat back on her haunches. "After four years, she came back to Angel Island, and she and Pagaya picked up where they left off; they finally married, and Conis was born a year later. But Pagaya could see the euphoria she had whenever she talked about the wonders she'd seen. He wanted her to do what made her happiest...so she used her experience to arm herself with all the resources she could afford, and when Conis was 4, she left again..."
Su then perked her head up, and she seemed to be smiling. "But not before leaving her daughter a companion in the form of a cloud fox she'd found. My mother was a loyal companion for Conis until her age wouldn't let her be anymore, and that's when I took over. And I've never left her side since. Well…" Su scurried over to Conis and clambered onto her shoulder, rubbing her head against Conis's cheek. "Almost never. Sorry for running off like that, I had some things I had to take care of."
Conis giggled happily as she leaned her forehead against her companion's. "Oh, Su…" she smiled.
Pagaya appeared to smile behind his beard as he watched the exchange. "I'm sorry that I don't seem sad that I didn't stop your mother from leaving all those years ago, Conis, and I'm sorry that I don't seem sad now, but the fact is that I find it quite impossible to be even the slightest bit remorseful over the fact that the two women I love the most in my life are following their dreams. As sad as I'll be to watch you leave, I'd be even sadder if I made you suffer by forcing you to stay."
He cast a wistful gaze at the Going Merry. "In the end, I suppose we can only call it fate. Just as it did over twenty years ago, the Knock-Up Stream has yet again brought pirates to our land who will affect our family in fantastic ways. Ah, what a wondrous world we live in…"
It took all of ten seconds for that statement to sink in properly. Once it did, however, Robin and I made the connection. Or at least, I assume we did if the way we both stiffened was anything to go by.
"Oh, my…" she whispered numbly.
"Holy shit," I concurred, still trying to wrap my head around the sheer implications. Fucking hell, what did I do, stumble onto one of Oda's deleted scenes?!
"What? What's with you two?" Su asked curiously.
"Yeah, what is it, Cross?" Luffy questioned obliviously. "Do you know who they were?"
"Do I know—?" I ground out semi-hysterically. "Luffy, the captain of the pirates, Pagaya, is talking about was your predecessor!"
"Gol D. Roger…" Robin breathed, apparently still incredulous herself.
It took twenty seconds for that to sink with the rest of the crew, and when it did… I had the good sense to slap my headphones over my ears.
A resounding shout of "WHAAAAAAT!?" kicked the surrounding treelines into a flurry of retreating wildlife.
Lassoo whined and slapped his paws against his ears. "Looooud…" he moaned.
Luffy was leading Chopper, Usopp, and the Dugongs in bowing before Conis over and over again, repetitively chanting the phrase "WE ARE NOT WORTHY!"
"DAMN STRAIGHT!" Sanji half-roared, half-cheered in agreement with their worship.
"Moron."
Three guesses who said that and what happened next.
Soundbite gave me a flat look. "You realize that this is your FAULT, RIGHT?"
"I know, I know…" I sighed wearily.
"Um, pardon me, but why are you all reacting like that?" Conis asked uncomfortably, a slight blush coming across her face.
"The Roger Pirates are the most famous pirates in history, the only crew that's ever succeeded in sailing to the very end of the Grand Line. They disbanded 22 years ago with the captain's execution, but his last words promised great treasure to whoever was able to find it, which sparked the Great Pirate Era, as countless souls have sought to inherit Roger's title: King of the Pirates," I summarized, with all the solemnity that that story deserved. "The quest for his legendary treasure, the One Piece, is the entire reason we and many others like us became pirates and set out to sea in the first place!"
Conis' eyes went wide, and Pagaya's… um, didn't, and I couldn't see his jaw drop behind that beard. Honestly, the only way I could tell he was shocked was from the sweat on his brow.
"She joined with a pirate crew of that strength?" Conis asked eagerly, though Pagaya's demeanour was much more… reserved.
"But you said that the captain was executed? Then… she…?" Pagaya began weakly. Su and Conis also teared up as it sank in, and the worship from the other crewmates subsided.
"Ah, no no no!" I waved my arms hastily as I tried to backstep. "Roger was executed, yes, but suffice to say that there were…" I glanced at Luffy cautiously, who was himself giving me something of a look. "Circumstances… not made public. But anyway, Roger was the only one executed. As far as I know, the rest of the crew managed to get off scot-free. Where they are now, however…" I shrugged helplessly. "I'm afraid that your guess is as good as mine."
Pagaya slowly relaxed, nodding in response to my words. "If she is alive, then that is enough for me."
"Ugh… I can't take much more of these surprises," Vivi groaned, sinking to her knees alongside both Carue and Nami, who were both moaning in agreement.
"Well, I can't make any promises, but I for one will at least try and keep the nonsense down to a… a… aaaHAHAHA!" Su suddenly threw her head back with a bark of laughter. "NOPE! Couldn't say it with a straight face, you guys are screwed!"
"AH, LA FOLIE A DEUX. Dis gon' be FUN, HAHAHA!" Soundbite cackled ecstatically.
"Wha—wait, what!?" Conis snapped her head around to stare at Su in shock. "Su, you are not coming with me! This voyage is going to be dangerous beyond all belief. I couldn't possibly put you at risk like that."
Su tilted her head as she stared at her owner. "Um, of course I'm coming? Why else do you think I've spent the whole day saying goodbye to all of my animal friends?"
"Su, you are not coming, and that is final!" Conis ordered firmly.
"Uh, yes, I am?" the cloud fox stated flatly in an 'are you an idiot' tone of voice. "How could I not come when you're completely helpless without me?"
"E-excuse me?" Conis said indignantly.
"Well, obviously," Su rolled her eyes… I assume, anyway, that fur was a hell of a poker face. "After all, just look at you! Moments ago, you thought there was a chance in hell of me not coming with you on this voyage when, obviously, there's nothing you can do to stop me. Truly, you are beyond all help, but don't worry, Conis!" She laid her paw on her head. "That's why you have me."
Conis stammered incoherently for several seconds. And then, finally, she sighed. "… Fine," she said, clearly defeated and clearly happy.
Pagaya proceeded to draw attention to himself by clearing his throat, gazing hopefully at Luffy. "Captain, like my wife before her, I know that there is nothing I can do to dissuade my daughter without making her miserable. All I ask is that, like before, I know that my little girl is venturing forth in the best company she can possibly find, and quite honestly, I believe that to be you and your crew. So, as a father, I am begging you…" He clasped his hands pleadingly. "Will you please take her with you, and keep her as safe as you can?"
Luffy's response was to grin widely as he scratched a finger beneath his nose. "Shishishishi! I've already made that promise twice. Why wouldn't I make it again?"
"Twice? He made it for me, but who was the other one?" Vivi asked curiously.
Nami answered that question by slapping a hand to her forehead with an embarrassed groan. "I'm going to kill Genzo when I see him again…" Nevertheless, she didn't try to hide the smile she was sporting.
Conis, meanwhile, had an ecstatic grin slowly spreading across her face. "So… so you mean—?"
Luffy shot his fists up with a cheer. "WE HAVE TWO NEW CREWMATES! HIP HIP!"
"HOORAY!" Usopp, Chopper, and Carue leaped and crowed joyously.
"Ah, to see the ranks of one's companions bolstered, however marginally…" Boss slowly shook his head with a grin before punching the air. "THIS IS THE PUREST OF MAN'S ROMANCES!"
"GO, BOSS, GO!" the TDWS cheered enthusiastically.
"AN ANGEL HAS JOINED OUR CREW! I COULDN'T BE HAPPIER!" Sanji swooned in full love mode.
"And it looks like she could have some fight in her, too…" Zoro mused as he fingered the hilts of his blade.
SLAM!
He then went from fingering them to drawing them in an instant in order to block the kick Sanji aimed at his head.
"I'LL CAVE YOUR SKULL IN IF YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT TOUCHING HER, MOSSHEAD!" Sanji raged furiously. No prizes for guessing what happened next.
While the rest of the crew welcomed Conis warmly, Nami turned her attention to me.
"I'll go out on a limb and say that you didn't see this coming, Cross?" she asked quietly.
I chopped my hand across my neck with a look at Soundbite and waited for the subtle buzz before speaking. "I didn't expect to see her that much after she saw us off at the pier on Angel Island, full stop," I replied numbly. "She should have wound up co-owning a café with Laki a couple of years from now."
Nami cocked an eyebrow at where Vivi was giving Conis an enthusiastic hug before shrugging slightly. "Well, it looks like that's not going to be happening. But on the other hand, I don't see how this could have any negative consequences. So, call it a good change?"
I watched the scene for a moment before smiling gratefully. "Yeah… call it a good change. Well, with that done, what say we get back to loading up the gold?"
"…Actually, Cross, there's one more thing I want to ask about," Nami finally said, looking at me seriously. "With Conis and Su joining us, almost half of our crew is in the dark about you. I get that you're waiting on it for Robin, but at some point, you need to tell the others."
I grimaced in agreement, but ultimately I shook my head. "I'll tell them soon enough. We're close to the point I'm waiting for, give or take two islands. If everything works out in the best-case scenario, then I'll tell them the same time I tell Robin. Worst case… I'll settle for a little sooner. Either way, everyone will know everything soon enough."