A grunt on the other end signified the conversation to be over, and Tsuru hung up the snail with a heavy sigh.
"So…" Garp grunted as he munched on a rice cracker. "When do you think you're gonna forgive him?"
The elderly Vice Admiral shook her head regretfully. "Not for a while, I'm afraid. We've had our differences before, but… well, haven't you noticed he's not the same man we trained with? That we graduated with?"
"Yeah, no shit, before he didn't hit even half as hard," Garp grumbled as he rubbed his chin before shrugging indifferently. "But what the hell did you expect, eh? Heavy is the head that wears the… ah, damn…" He started snapping his fingers helplessly. "What was it, what was it… top hat, I think?"
"Crown, Vice Admiral," Momonga provided dryly as he dabbed oil onto his blade.
"Yeah, that!" Garp pointed at the swordsman with a grin. "Heavy is the head that, eh… blast, the golden asshole really does hit harder. Anyway, what he said."
Tsuru shook her head sadly. "I know that he has burdens, Garp, I do. I have them myself. I understand that… or at least I thought I did." She massaged her face tiredly. "I thought he was standing strong all this time, that I was helping him bear the weight, however I could, but instead it appears that all he's been doing is bending further and further to better accommodate it, and that…" Tsuru clicked her tongue sadly. "Well, I'm afraid that I just can't approve."
"Quite the moral dilemma," Momonga observed sagely.
"One heck of a brain-twister," Garp nodded as he prepared to take a bite out of another cracker, before pausing and blinking at the youngest Vice Admiral present in surprise. "Eh? Bushy-tail? When the heck did you get here, brat? And why? And how, I thought you were on the other side of those…" The eldest Monkey winced as he shook out his thoroughly bandaged hand. "Stupid tough Gates."
The swordsman gave his senior officer a flat look. "I've been here for the past three minutes, using my sword-maintenance kit, which I left here to repair Josho Kiryu. And as for how I got here—" He jabbed his thumb over his shoulder to indicate the decapitated Sea King floating next to the battleship. "I swam."
Garp blinked at the deceased titan in surprise. "Huh. So you did." He then blinked again in surprise. "Wait, 'repair' that rodent-sword of yours? How come? I mean, sure, that Roronoa fellow might have beaten your technique, but seeing as you're not hurt, he didn't beat your Haki."
"That's because I got my Haki up in time once I realized that I was outclassed in traditional swordsmanship. I was able to protect myself…" Momonga frowned as he turned his Josho Kiryu in just such a manner to display the exceedingly deep rent in its blade. "But Josho wasn't as lucky."
Garp whistled in awe as he examined the sword's injury. "And I thought they were impressive before. Yamakaji's got the right of it: Monsters and demons, the lot of them."
"As if we're any better?"
"Eh?" Garp blinked at Tsuru in confusion.
"How do you do it, Garp?" Tsuru asked him. "The only excuse that I can conjure is that I've had tunnel vision from supporting Sengoku, but you? You've never allowed your perspective to be so limited. How can you support this, Garp? How can you accept that this…" She waved her hands upwards, indicating the pillar of smoke that was steadily rising above the gates and blotting out the eternal sun. "Is what the world accepts as Justice?"
Garp frowned and tilted his head to the side as he processed the question for a moment before allowing a grin to come over his face. "Oh, that's easy: that crap just doesn't matter to me, Tsuru. You know that. Absolute Justice, Lazy Justice, Moral Justice, whatever, it's all bunk and opinions and stuff. Me? I'll just do what's right and keep following the same thing I always have: my gut."
Tsuru's expression softened slightly. "…I see. And… what does your gut say now?"
Garp stood silent for a few seconds as he contemplated the question… And then both Momonga and Tsuru felt chills shoot down their spines as Garp adopted a smile that they had never known to not mean trouble.
"It's saying… that I should take a few days off to pay my cute little grandson a visit."
-o-
Meanwhile, the SBS hadn't stopped broadcasting yet, but with the war over and the victors clear as crystal, the world was already trembling from the shock of what the Straw Hats had done.
And no less awe-inspiring, the Straw Hats were still laughing. Laughing in triumph about their victory over the World Government.
"HAHAHAHA! I'm starting to understand how you feel when your adrenaline spikes, Cross; in retrospect, that was awesome!" Usopp cackled.
"Yes, talk about an amazing first adventure!" Conis gushed. "I nearly died three or four times over, but it was still amazing!"
"Okay, now, those parts were less awesome."
"Yeah, yeah, that's true, but this conclusion? To have reclaimed one's comrades in the face of impossible odds, conquering our adversaries without a single casualty on our side, this is truly… A MA—"
BLAM!
"SILENCE, YOU LITTLE PEST."
The Transponder Snail hastily snapped back into its shell as a bullet glanced off of the edge of its rig. The rest of the civilians in the store, who had remained on their knees, mostly enjoying the broadcast in peace, all flinched fearfully in response to the sudden gunshot.
Meanwhile, the World Noble who had fired upon the snail snarled and snorted murderously as he handed the empty pistol off to one of his aides and received a loaded one in return.
"Those insufferable heretics," Saint Jamolomew snarled as he cocked the new gun. "Daring to defy the divine order of the world, daring to fill my ears with their odious voices… It's bad enough that my servants are so incompetent!" He emphasized the word by pistol-whipping the aide standing next to him, the suit-wearing man taking the blow with a wince but little else. "That I have to bother myself by leaving Mariejois to get some more suitable rags for my slaves." He turned his glare back at the snail shivering on the other side of the room. "But now I am subjected to their odious laughter even now?! Who answered that snail?!" The civilians in the room flinched as he swung his gun over the room. "I demand that you stand up and atone for your sins this instant!"
Slowly, one of the clerks in the store stood up, only just managing to keep her tears under control. "I-I-I'm sorry, m-my lord! W-We were listening t-to the SBS before you entered our h-humble esta—hovel! Humble hovel, a-and because we must kneel in your g-glorious presence, w-we couldn't s-silence it until—!"
"You dare," Jamolomew cut her off. "To blame me for your crimes!?"
"N-N-No my lord, I-I-I swear, I—!" the woman sobbed fearfully as she shook her head.
"Oh, just shut up and die, would you?" the World Noble spat. With that, he pulled the trigger, the hammer swung forward—
CLINK!
—and was stopped cold by an armoured finger getting in the way before it could ignite the gunpowder.
"What the—!?" The Noble stared at the finger in confusion before trailing it back to one of his guards. "What the hell do you think you're doing, mongrel!?"
"When I joined the World Government," the knight said in an emotionless tone. "It was for the express purpose of protecting the innocent from those who would do them harm. And now…" He cocked his head to the side. "I am stopping you from harming an innocent woman."
"You…" Jamolomew shook with impotent rage. "You dare to lay your hands upon me?! Me, one of the holy rulers of this world!? I shall have you executed!"
"Oh, really?" The knight glanced around at the other members of the entourage, moving to grab him before speaking a word that stopped them all flat. "How?"
"Wh—are you stupidly insane or insanely stupid!?" the 'Saint' spat venomously. "When the World Government hears of this, this heresy, they will—!"
"Do what?" the knight shot back. "In case you hadn't noticed, the World Government just got kicked in the balls, and the vast majority of the Marines' military forces are currently at Enies Lobby. They have no one left to spare." The knight slowly swept his gaze over his comrades. "He's all alone. So the question isn't really what he will do to us. Rather…" He looked back at the Noble. "I'd say it's what we're going to do to him."
The Noble sputtered indignantly at the words, an action that merely intensified when the rest of his entourage slowly looked at him as well.
"Wha-What do you think you're doing!?" he stammered indignantly, swinging his head back and forth as the civilians in the shop all slowly started to get to their feet, all of them staring at him as well.
"Simply fulfilling the dream of every single civilian alive with the misfortune to have crossed your path," the rebel guard stated.
"Y-You can't do this! I-I'm a World Noble, a-a Celestial Dragon! My-My blood—AGH!" Saint Jamolomew was cut off by an armoured fist closing around his throat.
"Somebody lock the doors," the knight said in a dead tone.
The clerk who had been about to die, her face now a mask of cold fury, stained with tear tracks, wordlessly moved to comply, shutting the door and flipping the sign to closed.
"Y-YOU CAN'T DO THIS! T-THIS IS HERESY! T-THIS IS MADNESS! THIS—!"
"What this is…"
BLAM!
"—AAAAAAAGH!"
"Is Justice."
-o-
"M-M-Marine Headquarters! Th-This is Base 227 of Jabowana requesting backup!"
"ON THE DOUBLE!" screamed a large number of Marines who were struggling to maintain the barricades that were only just barely managing to hold the doors of their base shut, and they were steadily buckling inwards.
"O-On the double!" the Marine frantically repeated. "W-We are currently in the midst of a code red situation! The entire population of the island has risen against our base, against the entire Marine presence in the kingdom! They're storming the barracks, w-we—!"
SMASH!
The soldier winced fearfully as glass and flames showered down from on high on account of a scarily accurate Molotov. "We can't stop them! A-And even worse…" He glanced out through a gap in the barricade, taking in the prominent number of similarly uniformed people supporting an impromptu battering ram. "A-Almost forty percent of the base's guard force has handed in their resignations and joined with the rebels! We're not going to last much longer; please respond immediately!"
A few seconds of relative silence fell as he awaited a response. Then…
"…Petty Officer Martino?" one of the other soldiers asked in a tone of impending doom.
"Y-Yes?"
"Is that snail… even transmitting?"
The Petty Officer looked back at the gastropod to see that it was staring at him with half-lidded eyes but was saying nothing. And then, its mouth widened into a grin. A grin vaguely reminiscent of—
"You… You little…" Martino croaked numbly.
The snail responded by mouthing two very specific words.
Before the Marine could respond, the air was split by the sound of snapping wood and a victorious roar.
"…shit."
-o-
"…repeat, Marine code 28117. Attention Marine Headquarters, this is Master Chief Petty Officer Pearlow calling in with a situational report of the aftermath of the…" The Marine swallowed heavily as he tried to keep his nerves under control.
This feat was easier said than done, seeing as he was hiding out on top of a cliff with a snail and watching an entire city burn below him.
"Of the… events that occurred on Enies Lobby just ten minutes ago. Suffice to say that… matters are dire."
The Marine drew in a shuddering breath. "Because of the… provocative nature of the actions of the Straw Hat Pirates, as well as the nature of the… information that was divulged in the course of said actions, major civil unrest has started to occur on a… on a global scale. We have received numerous reports from all four of the Blues, as well as the Grand Line. Of the nations that compose the World Government, we have received notice that…"
The soldier had to take a moment to muster his nerves before forcing himself to continue. "That… roughly 8% of the nations that compose the World Government… have either seceded or have been overthrown… and that another 12% are staving off revolutions and uprisings.
"Furthermore, we have lost contact with dozens of Marine bases and vessels across the seas, and are receiving countless reports of pirate activity around the world. In summation…"
The soldier was trembling now, and his nerves weren't helped by the sight of the city's base slowly crumbling in on itself, flames leaping from its shattered husk with an almost victorious-sounding roar.
"In summation…"
He swallowed, and then, in a fit of panic, yelled out what he was sure was the only accurate summation of the past six hours' events.
-o-
"THIS IS, BEYOND A DOUBT, THE DARKEST DAY IN THE ENTIRE HISTORY OF THE WORLD GOVERNMENT!"
Far away upon the summit of the world, five old men stared at a snail, their expressions grim and the atmosphere around them thunderous as the world systematically crumbled beneath them.
-o-
Let me tell you something interesting that I learned after the end of Enies: When the surge of adrenaline is high enough, the high can last you for a very long time. Several minutes and some hard sailing later, we were still amped from what we'd all just experienced.
"PFFHAHAHAAAA! WOO!" I cackled energetically. "We just handed the World Government their collective asses! And we're the Mates that pulled off our escape, to boot! High-five, you two!" I shot my hand up at my comrades.
Nami and Zoro stared silently at my hand for a moment before exchanging flat looks.
My face promptly fell into an equally flat scowl. "Leave me hanging, and I swear that I'll air your dirty laundry across the world, and don't fool yourselves into thinking that I don't have any."
SLAP!
"Yes!" I pumped my fist victoriously as I considered that we'd just pulled off a three-way high five between the three mates of the Straw Hat Pirates!
"Jackass," the two chorused flatly.
"Oh, like you aren't both smiling?!"
I just laughed harder as they looked away with blushes and, yes, smirks.
That done, I started wandering the deck, weaving around my fellow crewmates' various celebrations, catching sight of Robin standing ever so slightly off to the side and allowing an eager grin to slide across my face, a look that Soundbite and Lassoo mirrored with just as much enthusiasm.
"Ohhh, Rooobiiin~?" I crooned in a saccharine tone.
The archaeologist stiffened and slowly turned to look at me. If her smile wasn't nervous when she did so, it definitely was after she saw the look on my face. "Yes, Cross?" she asked, her tone deceptively stable.
"Remember how I said, oh so long ago, that I would one day get my revenge on you for nearly killing me in Whiskey Peak?" I purred as I stepped towards her, Lassoo slinking away and out of sight behind me. "Aaand for nearly letting Chopper play Mad Doctor on me? Aaand, of course, for developing a habit of attacking my throat?"
The archaeologist was now visibly sweating as she slowly inched away from me. "Ahh… heheheh… I-I remember you saying something apropos to that train of thought, yes…"
"Weeell, see, I only bring that up…" My grin slowly widened as Lassoo got behind her legs and stopped her retreat, allowing me to shove my mad look in her face. "Because it's finally time to pay the piper."
And so, before she could react, I shot my arm around her neck, grabbed her in a chokehold, slipped my fist beneath her hat and…
"PAYBACK, YOU STONE-COLD BITCH! PFHAHAHAHAAAAA!" I cackled uproariously as I noogied her, but damn good.
"Agh, what the—OWOWOWOW, LET GO, LET GO!" Robin squealed as she struggled in my grip.
I only got a few seconds of fun before Sanji trying to take my head off forced me to let go, but by then I'd already had my fun, and I was in stitches.
"PFFHAHAHAHAAAA!"
"You little—!" Sanji fumed.
"Ooowww…" Robin groaned as she rubbed her burning scalp before shooting a glare at me that was more confused than angry. "What on earth was that in aid of, Cross?"
I replied with a malevolent smirk. "Oh, what was it in aid of, you ask? Simple!" I drew my transceiver's mic from my bag and held it close to my mouth, making sure that no one could mistake what I was about to say. "I just wanted to let the world hear as I gave Nico Robin a noogie!" My spirits soared as Robin's cheeks brightened with a blush. "Good luck getting your rep back after that little stunt, witch-bitch!"
"NO, that's NAMI!" Soundbite cackled.
"I'm going to punt your head all the way back to Sengoku, Cross!" Sanji fumed indignantly as he stalked up to me.
"Whoa, hey hey!" I shot my hands up defensively as he came at me. "I have a valid excuse, I'll have you know!"
"What!?" he demanded in a tone that promised death.
"Well, ah…" I hesitated slightly… before glancing to the side with a blush as I scratched my cheek. "It's… It's just that it's a little brother's duty to embarrass his older sister, you know?"
Sanji blinked dumbfoundedly. And before he could gather enough wherewithal to react, Robin shoved past him and… hugged me.
I blinked in stunned silence for a bit… before returning the hug with just as much gusto.
"…Thank you," she whispered, before raising her tear-stained gaze to look up at everyone else. "Thank you, all of you, for saving me."
Sanji instantly snapped out of his anger towards me as a heart replaced his eye, while Luffy grinned his usual grin and shot her a thumbs-up. Almost everyone else just smiled, several with wet eyes. Boss, in particular, was wiping away a tear.
"Ah, what a glorious moment…" he sighed rapturously. "I just wish my boys could be here, too."
SPLASH!
"YOU CALLED?"
All attention snapped to the edge of the boat, where the TDWS was perched on the railing and leaping down onto the deck. Boss was quick to snap over to them and wrap them all up in a shell-breaking hug, gushing over a Man's… something or other; I myself was a bit too busy trying to figure out how the goat they had gotten there to pay attention to the specifics.
"…But… you… and… how the hell—?" I sputtered weakly.
"Sea turtles, mate," Soundbite rasped deeply.
"…Right. Sea turtles," I nodded in agreement.
"Indeed, Sea Turtles are quite the hearty creatures!" Kokoro cackled as she knocked back a bottle she'd pulled from somewhere.
"How the heck do you think I made it back to Water 7 after I fixed myself, huh?" Franky laughed confidently.
"Personally? I always thought that you were just too stupid to drown, Flunky."
"STICK A LATHE IN IT, ICE-FOR—hurk!?" Franky choked on his own words as he spun on his heels. "ICE-FOR-BRAINS?!"
The Mayor of Water 7 smirked from atop his vessel, which had somehow crept up on us as he mock-saluted his old friend. "Miss me, you metal meat-head?"
Franky blinked stupidly for a second before cackling uproariously. "Not on your life, you limp-wristed walking cooler!"
"OK, that's just hypocritical," Mikey pointed out with a bark of laughter.
I chuckled as the back-and-forth went on, watching as everyone onboard gathered to—
Wait a second. Everyone? No, that wasn't right, we were missing—?
A slight sound just brushed against my inner ear, drawing my attention. "The heck…?" I muttered before glancing at Soundbite. "Did you—?"
"Uhh…" Soundbite's eyestalks started to swivel around…
'…ngh…'
When the sound came again and caught both of our attentions, and with directionality to boot.
I immediately started creeping towards the mast, where the noise was coming from, because… well, who wouldn't look when they heard the sound of whimpering just on the edge of their hearing?
Slowly and with no small amount of trepidation, I peered my head around the edge of the mast… and my heart nearly stopped at what I saw.
Merry's Klabautermann, her transparent body flickering like a bad hologram, was curled up against the mast and shaking with what could be nothing else but excruciating agony as she clutched at her midsection. When she noticed me standing there and staring at her with tangible horror, she turned a rictus smile up at me and forced out a pained chuckle. "S-So Idiotb-burg is here, huh? T-that's good, 'c-cause…" Her smile widened with tar-black humour as she raised a hand from her stomach.
I only just managed to keep from falling to my knees as I saw that it was covered in blood.
"It looks like…" she smiled through her tears. "It's finally time for me… to give up the ghost. Sorry, Cross…"
And just like that, she was gone.
Soundbite hissed in a horrified gasp. "CROSS—!"
"HER HEAD!" I roared at the top of my lungs, pumping as much desperation into my voice as I possibly could. "GRAB MERRY'S HEAD, NOW!"
It was a testament to just how much everyone trusted me that no one questioned me, with Luffy, Vivi, Boss, and Franky shooting their limbs and weapons at Merry's head and grabbing on for dear life the instant I screamed.
And not a moment too soon either, because almost a second later, a chorus of SNAPS! rang out, and what had to be a dozen of Merry's deck planks splintered and tore. It was only via hasty support from the rest of our crew that Merry's saviours weren't dragged off their feet.
In the end, Merry stayed whole… but the highly audible chorus of groans that were starting to sound out across the ship didn't inspire even a fraction of confidence.
"MERRY!" Usopp wailed frantically.
"Oh, no, ship-girl!" Chimney gasped in horror.
"Oh, no, oh, no!" Gonbe parroted, looking just as horrified.
"What-What happened?" Nami demanded incredulously. "Sh-She was doing fine the whole way through Enies—"
"She was faking," Franky groaned as he tried to maintain his stable stance. "Damn, shoulda seen this coming. It's no big surprise that Iceburg was able to put her into good enough shape to make it to another island. But not even Tom himself could have made her seaworthy for more than half a day with this much damage."
Iceburg shook his head with a heavy sigh. "I warned her, but… she insisted, and I only thought it just to satisfy her final wishes. I'm… sorry, Straw Hats, but it's time for you to say your goodbyes. I've already—"
"WAIT!"
Everyone turned to look at the person who'd shouted.
Turned to look at me.
"Iceburg, please," I pleaded as I spread my arms desperately. "Y-You've got Galley-La with you, right? Then please, fix her up. Just one more time. Make her look at her absolute best just one more time."
Iceburg gave me a sad look. "Cross, I've already done all I can, there's nothing more—"
"LET HER FIGHT, DAMN IT!" I cut him off as I shouted furiously.
"C-Cross…" Usopp said hesitantly.
I huffed as I got some air back in my lungs before continuing. "All this time, we've been saying that we've won our fight, that we've beaten the world…" I said before, shaking my head with a scowl. "But that's a lie! We're not done fighting; we still have one last comrade who needs our help! Merry…" My fists clenched at my sides as I stared downwards. "Merry gave her everything to try and help us, to save our lives! And she's still fighting, even now, still fighting to stay alive…" I sucked in a deep gasp before shouting again. "AND I CAN GIVE HER THE CHANCE SHE NEEDS TO WIN!"
That caught everyone off guard.
"Wait, what!?" Kokoro hacked in shock as she coughed up a mouthful of her drink.
"Are you serious!?" Usopp demanded.
"Really, Cross?!" Luffy grinned happily.
I shook my head firmly. "It's a hell of a long shot, not a guarantee, a gamble at its utmost best… but damn it all, look around!" I cast my arm out at my crewmates. "We've been hitting on all sixes all day, what's one more all-or-nothing throw!? One last shot, one last chance! But!" I glared Iceburg dead in the eyes, tears streaming down my face as I started to rapidly lose control. "For Merry to keep fighting, for her to have that shot… she needs, needs to be in one piece. You're the only one who can do it, Iceburg! Only you can save her life! So… so that's why…"
I collapsed to my knees and rammed my brow into the floorboards, bowing my head as low as it would go.
"I'M BEGGING YOU!" I shouted at the top of my lungs. "I'M BEGGING YOU WITH EVERY LAST FIBER OF MY BEING, WITH EVERYTHING THAT I'VE GOT, TO PLEASE, PLEASE HELP US! GIVE MERRY A CHANCE! GIVE MERRY ONE LAST CHANCE TO FIGHT ON! GIVE HER THE CHANCE TO LIVE!"
Not a single second later, I heard several other thumps around me, my crewmates to a man, woman, and beast mirroring my actions. I waited…
"Galley-La," Iceburg said firmly. "All hands on deck. We have work to do."
I looked up in time to see Iceburg's gaze turn to our future shipwright. "I…" I snorted a goodly amount of snot back into my nostrils. "I-I can count on you to help too, right, Franky?"
Franky grinned wryly. "Not a chance in hell that I wouldn't, Cross. COME ON, CHUMPS!" the cyborg slammed into his trademark pose eagerly. "LET ME SHOW YOU HOW A REAL SHIPWRIGHT GETS BUSINESS DONE!"
And with that, the best and brightest of Water 7 sprang to work.
-o-
It was touch and go for a while there, but five minutes later, the rest of the crew and I were standing in a longboat floating a few feet in front of Merry. We had spared enough time onboard Iceburg's ship to drop off our weapons, naturally excluding Lassoo and equally naturally excluding Zoro's swords, and Kokoro and her family had stayed there while we got back to a closer level with Merry.
Credit where it was due, Galley-La weren't called the best for shits and giggles. Seriously, repairing a ship that thoroughly in the middle of the freaking ocean? And watching Iceburg work, alongside Franky at that? It was just… damn. Just damn.
But anyways, in no time at all, the deed was done and Merry was floating before us in one piece… though the sheer number of planks, over her hull, however immaculately arranged, belied just how desperate the situation was.
"She's in as good a position as we can manage," Iceburg informed us solemnly from his boat as he wiped the pitch from his hands. "But it won't last; every wave that hits is tearing her apart at the seams. As it is, I'll be surprised if she lasts the hour."
"Merry…" Usopp and Chopper sobbed for our crippled companion.
"Normally, I'd say something witty about now," Franky grunted as he pulled himself into the boat. "But honestly? Iceburg's being nice. You've got half that, max. Whatever you've got planned, Cross, it better be damn good."
I grit my teeth as I crack my neck side to side in preparation. "Then I guess it's appropriate that what I'm about to pull is what can only be described as our last resort."
"Cross, are you seriously going to—" Boss cut himself off with a glance at the bag at my side, then started again. "Are you seriously going to accept?!" Boss demanded.
I turned to him with a dry look. "Up until now, I may have thought that it wasn't worth it. But faced with the reality that it's either that or watching her die? Would you consider it worth it?"
The four who knew stared at me, but I shook my head. "But… don't worry, because that's not what I'm talking about. I've got one more trick up my sleeve before I resign myself to…" I shuddered heavily. "That. If it doesn't work, then I'll do it, but…" I allowed a slight smile to cross my face. "Considering what it is…"
"Did I miss something?" Robin asked.
Boss shook his head with a shrug. "Beats me. He said… something about having a way to save Merry in the tower, but he got attacked by a pigeon before he could say more."
"…It's a fine day in the Grand Line when I can hear a sentence like that and not question how much it makes sense," Franky shook his head.
I was silent for a moment before turning to face everyone. "Riddle me this, everyone: how many members were there in CP9? Ah!" I hastily cut off anyone's incredulous protests with a raised hand. "My nerves are running a mile an hour, and talking is the only way I keep calm. Humour me."
Nami exhaled heavily, obviously counting down under her breath before ticking off her fingers. "If you're counting Spandam, his sword, and the pigeon? Ten all told."
I allowed a content smirk to quirk my lips as I held up a single finger. "Try… eleven."
That drew her up short. "What!? But, wait—!" Nami hastily started counting down on her fingers again.
"If we do indeed count Spandam and Funkfreed amongst the Pol's ranks," I cut her off with a chuckle. "Then before this all started, there were five of them waiting for us on Enies, in the Tower of Justice… and six escorting Robin in the Puffing Tom."
"Uh, hold on, gimme a second," Su muttered as she balanced on her hind legs and started counting down on her forepaw's toes. "Lucci, Hattori, Kaku, Kalifa, Blueno… that's only five!" She looked up in confusion. "Who's number six?"
I smirked as I held up a hand and started raising fingers. "Lucci, Hattori, Kaku, Kalifa, Blueno…" I then held up my other hand and popped my index finger. "And Nero."
Everyone on the crew was confused… except for our cook, who had just managed to keep from sucking down his cigarette.
"The sea-weasel?" he coughed in confusion. "But-But he was a weakling! He didn't even know all of the Six Powers! He was nowhere near even Blueno, and that bull was one of the weakest!"
"He was rushed through, yeah," I chuckled in agreement. "But he was a member of Cipher Pol No. 9! And that's important… because of the last assignment that Jabra, Fukuro and Kumadori pulled off a week ago." I spread my arms as I explained. "It was known as Operation Famine, the destruction of an ocean-spanning smuggling ring. The agents properly took out the big fishes controlling the thing, while the normal soldiers confiscated the goods."
"How is any of this relevant, Cross?" Zoro demanded impatiently.
"It's relevant…" I all but giggled hysterically as I dug out the small chest I'd been carrying the whole time from my bag and held it in my palm. "Because to save Merry, we need to beat the world. To beat this situation, we need to reject the laws of physics. We need to break reality itself. And the only way we can do that…" I flipped open the chest's latch. "Is to make use of just what the ring specializes in."
And with that, I cracked the lid of the miniature chest open… and everyone gasped and reeled in nothing short of utter shock as I displayed the sole content of the padded interior.
A peach, colored ink, and emblazoned with a twisted and glossy stem and swirl pattern that streamed along it. Even now, my second time looking at it, I couldn't help but try to trace the design with my eyes, but… it was useless. Every time I tried, my eyes just… slid off it, and the patterns seemed to shift and roil before me.
Devil Fruits… what a truly appropriate appellation.
"That's a…" Franky breathed.
"Yup…" I nodded with a somewhat mad grin. "The ring was smuggling them and selling them to the highest bidder, and when CP9 busted them, Spandam kept three of them for his unpowered overseas operatives." I giggled under my breath as I held up a pair of fingers. "Kaku and Kalifa got the Ox-Ox Fruit, Model: Giraffe and the Bubble-Bubble Fruit, respectively, but Nero? Nero never made it, so this was leftover, hidden away until Spandam could think of another use for it."
I tapped the chest's lid a bit frantically. "This. This is how we're going to save Merry, right here."
While a few of our number, such as Luffy, Chopper, and Mikey, were still stuck in 'awestruck' mode, more than half of our crew couldn't help but exchange uneasy glances.
"…Cross, what exactly are you planning?" Robin finally brought herself to ask.
I responded by glancing over my shoulder at Merry. "The entire reason things have escalated this far is that, as a ship, Merry can't heal her wounds. Every little injury she gets is permanent. But what if she could heal them? What if she could live, breathe, and heal like any other biological entity on the seas…" I slowly turned my maddened grin on Lassoo. "All while still technically an object."
Lassoo's jaw led everyone else's in dropping. "You crazy son of a bitch."
"No, that would be you!" I giggled hysterically.
"Cross, do you even hear what you're suggesting!?" Vivi demanded. "The odds of this working—!"
"Are at their most basic one-in-three!" I snapped back. "Paramecia, Logia, and Zoan! If it's a Zoan type, then, regardless of what it is, she can heal, she can live!"
"But—!" she started again.
"But nothing!" I cut her off heatedly. "Damn it, don't you get it yet?! This is our last shot! I—!" I cut myself off with a ragged gasp, my emotions slipping past my frustration, forcing me to slow down as I tried to stay under control. "I… I realize that it's a long shot, damn it… that… that the odds are stupidly against us… but…"
Tears fell from my cheeks to the deck of the boat, and it took all I had to keep from utterly breaking down.
"But…" I whispered through my tears. "But… I… I promised her, damn it… I promised her that I would find a way for her to stay with us. That I would save her. And—!" I snapped my watery gaze up at Vivi. "I-I realize that it was a stupid promise, I do, b-but the fact is that I made it! And if I… if I can't keep a promise I made… if I don't fight tooth and nail to keep a promise I made to a friend…" I bowed my head miserably. "Then… then I don't deserve… to call myself a Straw Hat…"
Everyone digested that for a few seconds. Then Luffy spoke up. "How do we feed her, Cross?"
I took a second to get my nerves back under control before opening my mouth to respond… and for once in my time here on the Grand Line… nothing came out. I… was at a loss for words.
But before any of that could really hit me…
"If I… eat that…"
My thoughts were slammed to a dead halt by a voice whispering behind me, prompting me to spin around in shock.
Merry was right there, her midsection bloodied and her form flickering and barely even visible… but she was there.
"If I… eat that fruit…" She whispered, her voice little more than a breeze. "Then I… can stay with you all?"
"I-I…" I hesitated slightly, the sheer gravity of the moment finally giving me some measure of trepidation. "M-Maybe, but Merry, you have to know, it's beyond risky and—!"
Before I could say anything further, Merry's hand shot out, snatched the fruit, and stuffed it in her mouth, bulging her cheeks out as she chewed.
I blinked stupidly as I tried to process what the fuck had just happened. "Wha—?"
Soon enough, Merry swallowed the mouthful and started speaking frantically. "I-I'm so sorry about that, Cross. I know that it was stupid and risky and all that, but I just—!" She suddenly cut herself off, what little of her complexion was visible turning a furious ashen colour.
"Merry?" I leaned in worriedly. "Merry, what's wrong?! Please, Merry, talk to—!"
"SWEET MOTHER OF ALL LEAKY-KEELED MARINE ROWBOATS, THAT THING TASTED LIKE SEA KING DICKBALLS!" Merry suddenly howled skywards as she stuck her tongue out.
"…eh?" I blinked in shock.
"Crude… but accurate, I would say," Robin shuddered with a grimace.
"Ditto," Luffy, Chopper, Soundbite, and Lassoo all concurred.
"…The rumour about Klabautermanns cursing like sailors is true? God bless this day," Iceburg breathed upwards.
Once I finally got my wits about me, I fell back on my one true failsafe. "And… you know what that would taste like, how exactly?" That is to say, snark.
"OH, SCREW—! HURK!"
Before any of us could react, Merry suddenly doubled over and staggered backward, swaying drunkenly on her feet.
"Merry! What's wrong!?" Usopp asked frantically.
"Ah… I, ah…" Merry shook her head blearily. "Guys? I… I don't… I don't feel so…"
And with that, she keeled over the side of the longboat… at the same time that her bigger half suddenly vanished, causing all of the seawater around where it had been to rush to fill in the void that was suddenly left gaping in the water. The sudden movement caught us all off guard and even threw a few of us off our feet… but through all the confusion, one thing stuck out to me.
A small patch of darkness in the water… that was growing smaller every moment.
"MERRY!" I roared, sparing just enough time to toss my jacket and partner at Luffy before diving into the water and swimming harder than I'd ever swam before.
It burned my scars like hell, sweet hell did it burn, and my lack of goggles meant that I couldn't see worth shit either… but I was somehow able to catch up to the form below me and grab an appendage before they sank too deep. I then pulled them to me and reversed course… or tried to at least. Surprise, surprise, 'Hammers' wasn't a two-bit nickname. Rather, it was exactly what they weighed like underwater.
For a second, I struggled in vain to carry my load's weight… but before I could start to panic, I suddenly found a hand right there in front of my face.
I grabbed it, it grabbed me… and one rush of seawater later, Luffy reeled us both back onto the longboat, the momentum nearly capsizing us wholesale as we slammed back onboard.
I gasped and spat as I tried to clear my senses of seawater, twisting my head around frantically once I could in search of whom I'd grabbed. "M-Merry? Merry, where are you!?"
"Urk… agh… h-here, Cross…"
I blinked in confusion as a voice sounded out just below my head. And when I looked down, it became clear why: she was sitting squarely on my chest.
The figure that I knew was Merry was a girl the size of her Klabautermann, no taller than four feet. Her skin was peach-colored, her hair was a soft mane of white with a couple of curly brown tufts circling above her ears, reminiscent of ram horns, and—I sent a silent message of gratitude to Oda for his grace where Devil Fruits and clothing were concerned—she was wearing an orange raincoat, gray leggings, and had a metal choker latched around her neck and matching anklets around her… well, you know.
"Merry… you're… human?" Usopp breathed in awe.
"But… but how?" Chopper squawked in shock. "I ate the Human-Human Fruit!"
"The same way that Chaka and Lassoo have the same fruits, and that Sengoku is a Buddha-Human…" Vivi whispered. "Same fruit… different Models. Going by her size… I-I think that Merry just ate the Human-Human Fruit, Model: Child!"
As that bit of reasoning finished, I took the chance to sit up, and Merry scrambled off of me as I pinned her with a look."Merry, as good as the results here are, can I just point out that you ate a Devil Fruit while you were standing on the ocean?" I rushed my words forward as tears started to appear in her eyes, because I just had to get this point made. "I don't think there's a better epitome of 'reckless' in this world, and that's me speaking! What the hell were you thinking!? Did you even consider for a second the danger you were in?! That you could have—!?"
"I DIDN'T CARE!"
I choked myself off as Merry suddenly screamed at the top of her lungs. Seeing Merry standing there, shaking on her feet and sobbing as tears streamed down her face, it was…
"Merry…" I breathed.
"I DIDN'T CARE!" she continued. "AND I DON'T CARE NOW! I DON'T CARE THAT I COULD HAVE DIED, I DON'T CARE THAT I CAN'T SWIM ANYMORE, I DON'T CARE THAT…" she choked heavily on her words. "T-THAT I CAN'T CARRY YOU GUYS ANYMORE! I-I DON'T CARE ABOUT ANY OF THAT! B-BECAUSE…!"
She threw her head back and screamed. "BECAUSE ALL I CARE ABOUT IS YOU! ALL OF YOU! ALL I CARE ABOUT IS STAYING WITH YOU ALL! I-I DON'T CARE IF I NEVER GET TO SEE THE NEW WORLD, I DON'T CARE IF I NEVER GET TO SEE RAFTEL, BECAUSE EVEN IF I DID…"
Merry flung herself forward and buried her sobbing in my chest. "IT WOULD MEAN NOTHING!" she wept. "WITHOUT YOU! I-I DON'T WANT TO GO TO THE BOTTOM OF THE SEA! I-I DON'T WANT TO DIE! A-AND MOST OF ALL, I DON'T WANT TO BE LEFT BEHIND! S-SO PLEASE, PLEASE!"
She raised her head and stared at us all with absolute desperation. "LET ME STAY WITH YOU! LET ME COME WITH YOU, EVERY STEP OF THE WAY! LET ME SEE ANOTHER SUNRISE AS A PART OF THIS CREW! LET ME STAY A STRAW HAT!"
As Merry's tirade trailed off into sobs, I slowly turned my eyes towards my captain. The look he gave me didn't surprise me in the least. And that didn't make it any less joy-inducing when he nodded firmly.
As such, it was with the utmost delight that I threw my arms around Merry and hugged her tight. "AS IF WE WOULD EVER EVEN CONSIDER SAYING NO!" I yelled happily.
That was all the signal everyone needed to roar with joy and do what was perfectly natural: celebrate.
"MERRY!" Usopp, Luffy, and Chopper cried joyfully, all practically bowling us both over as they grabbed us in the mother of all bearhugs.
"WE DID IT!" Nami squealed as she grabbed the nearest person she could in a hug. Due to said person being Sanji, he had nothing to say on the matter. Vivi was mirroring the action with Carue… though given how she'd grabbed his neck rather than his chest, he was more frantic than happy.
"YOU GUYS ARE SO TOTALLY NUTS!" Franky sobbed dramatically as he tried and failed to hide his sobbing in a pose.
"WOOOOO! WOOOOO!" Lassoo howled triumphantly towards the sky.
"Can you believe it, Su?!" Conis giggled ecstatically as she spun her pet around. "We did it! She's alive! She's alive!"
"That's great, Conis, but I'm getting kinda—!"
"SHE'S ALIVE!"
"AAAAGH!" Su screamed and flailed in terror when Conis suddenly flung her upwards with a euphoric laugh.
"To snatch a dearest comrade who we all thought was doomed from the very jaws of death themselves…" Boss shook his head with a wide grin. "Oh, there's only one definition for this!" He leapt skywards and punched the air. "SAY IT WITH ME, BOYS!"
"IT'S A MAN'S ROMANCE!" all five dugongs chorused as the TDWS followed their mentor.
"And I thought that this day couldn't become any more wonderful," Robin whispered, tears streaming down her cheeks as she stood only just off to the side. "I have never been more grateful for the impossibility of these seas. Of this insane, beautiful crew."
Zoro stood similarly off to the side, and though he didn't say anything, he was making no attempt to hide his smile.
"They did it, they did it!" Gonbe and Chimney sang as they danced around hand-in-hand.
"You think we've finally seen the extent of their madness?" Iceburg asked Kokoro wistfully.
"Personally?" Kokoro cackled as she tapped out the last few drops of her bottle with a smirk. "I think… that they're just getting started."
The mayor's smile widened as he looked back at us. "…good."
And then, as if that all weren't good enough… I felt it.
A single, single point of cold, right on the tip of my nose.
I stared upwards… and sucked in a breath when I realized that it was snowing.
It was snowing… it was snowing…
"We won…" I sobbed beneath my breath before raising my voice to roar for all to hear. "YOU HEAR THAT? WE WON! IN THE FINAL COUNT OF THE STRAW HAT PIRATES AGAINST THE WORLD ITSELF, AGAINST REALITY ITSELF! WE! HAVE! WOOOOOOON!"
And so ended the epic saga of Enies Lobby, beneath a snowy sky as we, the Straw Hat Pirates, cried our hearts out.
As we cried rapturous tears of pure, undiluted joy.