A few minutes later, the telltale smell of burning wood and grilling meat reached my nostrils a block away from the pool where I knew the crew would be by this time, if the sunset dyeing the island orange and the sound of festivities filling the air were anything to go by.
I had to admit, I was really looking forward to it; after all, this was more than a mere impromptu shindig, it was the long-overdue and perfectly justified celebration of us reclaiming everything that the world sought to take away from us. But it was for that same reason that I was also making sure to take a longer-than-usual route back to our impromptu HQ, rather than heading for the light and smoke immediately.
After all, there was one loose end yet remaining from Enies Lobby, and I intended to nail it to the wall once and for fucking all.
And so, as I noticed Soundbite suddenly snap to alertness, I prepared myself for what I knew was coming.
"Cross?" the snail whispered nervously.
"Hold on, Soundbite, we're almost there," I waved him off.
"But Cross—!"
"There'll be enough meat even with Luffy there, there are Sea-King-killer ships aplenty around here, and the waters don't lack for prey either."
"Cross, seriously—"
"Soundbite, quit panicking. Everything is alright," I huffed, folding my arms behind my head as I came to a stop.
"THE HELL IT—"
"But," I cut him off sharply, my tone cold. "If it'll put your mind at ease, just remember that he's not someone who would go back on his word, and the fact that Sengoku would have to be an absolute idiot to touch us here after we so soundly dropkicked the entire globe a few days ago means that he isn't here on orders. But still, that does leave us with the pressing question: what possible reason could you have to be here, Kuzan?"
Soundbite snapped his jaws shut, his eyes wide with shock.
"Hmph…You truly are a frightening man, Jeremiah Cross," an unmistakably chilly voice drawled behind me.
"Cut the flattery and answer the question, icicle-breath," I snapped, not even deigning to turn and face him. "I want answers for Long Ring Long, and I want them now. You saw the debt you owed to Saul fulfilled, you saw Robin in her place. For a minute, I thought that I may have underestimated how decent of a Marine you are, I thought I could give you a chance." My hands clenched into fists. "And then you said it. You said that parting shot, which we both know was taken how you intended it to be read. You were aiming to shatter what little happiness she had found, and you saw just what kind of a hell it took to get it back for her." My lips drew back into a snarl. "Do you have any idea what that bastard did to her? How many bones he broke, how close she came to dying?"
His silence said enough.
I closed my eyes, and against my will, my tone became pleading. "Why, Kuzan? Why do it? Why break her trust in us, our strength? Why sic CP9, Rob Lucci himself, on her? What possible reason could you have had to hurt Robin like that?"
The silence hung heavy in the air, and the growing frigidity only made the air all the heavier. Ultimately, however, he deigned to answer me.
"Eh, I suppose I owe you something after this whole mess, and since it's sure as hell not going to be my respect, it might as well be the truth." The slight crackling of ice belied the cool drawl of his voice. "See, that little speech you gave when I made the monumental mistake of not only allowing but inviting you to talk? It actually touched base. Shook me more than I care to admit. The way you stood by Nico Robin despite everything… I don't know how, but you knew the truth of that day. And ever since that day, I've been questioning if Saul made the right choice all those years ago. If I made the right choice, if any of us did. And seeing Nico Robin, the Demon of Ohara, in the hands of someone else who knew about the hell of that day…"
"You saw that as your chance," I snapped my head up in realization, finally turning around to face him. The admiral's expression was stony, but the shame he was demonstrating was unmistakable. "You knew what you were doing as soon as you fired that parting shot. Cipher Pol 9, Enies Lobby… you set the whole thing up, matching the full force of the Marines and the World Government against whatever we could muster, just so that you could get your answer as to whose truth was truly victorious!"
Kuzan heaved a cloudy sigh as he shook his head and slowly raised his hand in denial. "No, Jeremiah Cross, not even close. Truth is… I knew the answer to that conflict the moment you repeated Saul's words to me, the answer to your words… but I didn't want to believe it. Every obstacle in your path was something I hoped I could use as an excuse to keep denying it; no matter how strong you were, surely you couldn't take on Enies Lobby and win. Surely the World Government would snuff you out, and I could put this all behind me like some bad dream. But that just didn't happen; instead, you succeeded with the entire world as your witness. Meaning that I've no more room left with which to deny the truth, every truth I've hidden from and dodged all these years."
The glare in his eyes sharpened as he looked into mine. "And so, to answer your initial question, Jeremiah Cross, I came here because I have a new question now, one even more daunting than the last. And considering your reputation, I want to see if you can give me an answer."
I blinked in surprise, but my expression remained firm even as I debated with myself and eventually came to a conclusion. "I won't promise anything, but ask anyway."
He visibly steeled himself. Then…
"What am I supposed to do now?"
I processed that for several seconds. I honestly thought long and hard about what he was asking, about what I could say, what I could tell him…
And ultimately, I scowled. "Get up off your ass and figure it out yourself."
"HAVE YOU LOST YOUR—WHEGH!" I grabbed Soundbite's tongue mid-sentence, cutting off his incredulous squawk.
Aokiji, meanwhile, was no less taken aback. "Excuse me?"
"You heard me!" I snarled, jabbing my finger at the towering frigid bastard. "Figure it. Out. Yourself. You say you've seen the truth, you say you want to change? Well, I call bullshit! Look at you! Even now, you're being a lazy bastard, relying on others to do your thinking for you, to give you all the answers you need. You think that someone's just going to stand up and act as your inspiration, your beacon of righteousness?" I shook my head darkly as I marched up to him. "Well, tough, because that shit officially stops with me. I'm not giving you squat, Kuzan. You want your epiphany, you want a path to a better world?"
I stopped as I stood before him, reached up and started poking him in his chest. "Then you get up, you find it, and you pave it with your own hands, with your own blood, sweat and tears… just like what everyone else on the planet does every. Single. Day."
For a full minute, Aokiji and I just… glared at each other, the temperature gradually and steadily lowering each and every second that the conflict drew out. Soon I was seeing my own breath, but I didn't let myself shiver or waver, refusing to sacrifice so much as an inch in the conflict.
And then, just like that, the temperature snapped right back to normal as Aokiji turned his back on me, his arm raised dismissively. "Honestly, I don't know what I was expecting from you, but it really should have been that, huh?"
I snorted firmly (it was not a sigh of relief, no matter what the hell Soundbite said) before turning as well and heading towards the party. "Your debt is paid, and you're no longer welcome here. Mark my words, Ice Hole: if you ever come near my sister again, I will end you."
And so I walked away…
"Hold it."
Before halting against my will as the frosty voice spoke up again.
"Before you go… I've got two messages for you. First, for Nico Robin, tell her…" Aokiji hesitated for a moment before sighing in defeat. "Tell her that Saul's hat suits her."
I felt my teeth grind together, but held my tongue. "And second?" I grit out.
"Marshall D. Teach."
I didn't even try to stop myself from spinning around and staring at Aokiji in shock, meeting his cool gaze dead on.
"You know of him," he deduced. "Good, that makes this easier. Then allow me to be as clear as I possibly can: that man… he's dangerous, Jeremiah Cross. Dangerous in ways not even you can begin to contemplate."
Aokiji narrowed his eyes.
"Beware the Blackbeard Pirates, Cross. Beware, Blackbeard."
And then he was gone.
I stared numbly at the spot where he had been a moment before as the temperature slowly began increasing again. Then I was all but dunked in ice water as realization hit me full force.
"Ace," I breathed in horror.
The next thing I knew, I was running with all the speed I could muster towards the source of the noise, rushing through every alleyway I could find, as Soundbite, having put the pieces together, spewed out the fastest route he could find. The exact instant that I arrived, I sprinted in the direction he indicated, ignoring any comments along the way, bodychecking anyone in my way out of my path…
"Oh, hey Cwo—!"
"GIMME!"
CRASH!
"GAH!"
Aaaaand finishing it all off by bodily tackling Luffy and snatching his hat off his head before he knew what actually hit him.
"Card, card, where's the fucking card!?" I hissed as I frantically rifled through one of the most valuable pieces of headwear in human history, until finally…
"GOTCHA!" I whooped as I located the invaluable card and held it high—
"BASTARD!"
CRACK!
"GARGH!"
Just in time for Luffy to sucker punch me into a wall, square in the nose to boot.
"Aaaaargh, shonnuva—OW!" I winced as I snapped my nose back into place.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, CROSS?!" a blur I vaguely recognized as Luffy roared above me, stomping about furiously. "YOU STOLE MY HAT, AND YOU MADE ME CHOKING ON MY MEAT!"
"Grgrggghhh… gimme a second to stop seeing double and I'll tell you," I groaned, rubbing my head and blinking several times, but not letting the paper in my other hand leave it. Finally, as my vision came back into focus, I brought the paper in front of my eyes—
"…pfheh… pfheheheh… PFFHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!"
Luffy paused in confusion as I started cackling like a madman. "Ah… Cross? What's so funny?"
"PFFHAHAHAHAHA! Funny? Funny!?" I choked out through my euphoria as I worked my way to my feet. "Not funny, HAPPY! Happy because we've won! AGAIN! A gamble I worried about above all others, a last-ditch throw whose outcome I doubted every step of the way, and it's just hit on all sixes! We won again! We won, we won, we won WE WON! PFFHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!"
"Eeeehhh…" Luffy tilted his head to the side in confusion. "I don't get it."
"PFFHAHAHA!" I crowed ecstatically as I shot up and slung my arm around Luffy's shoulders, surreptitiously replacing the perfectly intact Vivre Card of Portgas D. Ace back in his hat in the process. "There's nothing to get, mon ami! Right now, all we must do is what you've been doing up until now: celebrate! Eat, drink, and above all else, be as merry as possible!"
"OI!"
THWACK!
My smile barely even shifted as my head was knocked to the side on account of a crutch bouncing off my skull, and I instead turned it towards the source of the projectile. "I take it I struck a nerve?" I called out.
"YER DARN RIGHT YE DID!" Merry crowed from atop a recently returned Sodom's head, grinning like a lunatic as she flailed her remaining crutch about. "AFTER ALL, THERE AIN'T NO OTHER MERRY IN THE SIX BLUE SEAS BUT ME! Now, if you'll excuse me!" Before anyone could stop her, the girl-ship leapt off of the King-Bull's head with a whoop. "CANNONBAAAALL!"
"YAHOO! WAIT FOR ME!"
"Eh?" I glanced at Luffy in confusion, only to find that he'd ducked out from under my arm and was running towards the pool, oh that dumb son of a—
"CANNONBALL!" the most senior hammer on our crew crowed as he followed our second-most senior hammer into the pool.
"YOU IDIOTS!" most of the crew howled indignantly as the pair splashed down, more than a few of our non-hammers following them in an attempt to rescue them… or properly drown them, I honestly couldn't tell you which.
"…whoops," I muttered in embarrassment, a sweatdrop hanging from my brow.
"Heheheh… Anything but mindless good fun, hm, Cross?"
I snickered in agreement even as I turned and accepted the drink Robin was offering me. "And we wouldn't have it any other way, would we?" I paused to take a deep sip from the glass before gracing her with an angelic smile. "Oh, and by the way, if you drugged this too, you'll wake up tomorrow morning with pink hair."
Robin's smile remained fixed even as she tilted her head to the side. "Dearest brother, I feel it is only fair to warn you that if I wind up pink, you wind up bald."
"M.A.D.! Is there no better way to prevent a war?" Soundbite cackled.
"If there is, I've yet to find one," Robin shrugged helplessly even as she took a sip of her own. However, even in spite of her glass hiding her mouth, I could see her smile shrink slightly. "So… Cross. To confirm, your knowledge of the future… it came from… a book?"
I hid my grimace with my own glass. "Oooh, trust me, I've been seeing ripples as is, and after today and Enies, I can only imagine that they're going to get worse from here."
"Hm…" Robin hummed contemplatively as she peered into her drink.
"But… I'm not worried."
Before glancing up in shock, I continued with a smile.
"Because… earlier, when I was going insane and laughing my ass off? I was doing it because the worst tragedy I could think of in the days to come has just been officially averted. Things are changing, and not all for the better, sure, but I at least managed to do that right! And… even if something does come our way, a problem I didn't foresee, some foe ready to crush us all into paste…" I looked up at our crewmates partying around us, thoroughly enjoying the sight. "Then… I trust that this crew can handle them, no matter what!" I allowed the side of my smile out of Robin's sight to fall into a grimace. "At least, for a little while longer…" I grumbled to myself.
"Hmmm…" Robin hummed some more as she contemplated my words, but she eventually shrugged it off and went back to smiling. "Well, if that's the case, I suppose I'll just have to follow your lead, won't I?"
I nodded in agreement before pausing as a thought occurred to me. "Ah, and before I forget? Don't worry about Aokiji anymore. We… well, you won't see him again." I glanced to the side with a scowl. "Not if he knows what's good for him, at any rate…"
My big sis blinked in confusion before frowning and grabbing my cheek with a sharp tug. "I know that I'm not terribly well-versed in such matters, but unless my memory of the many books I've read over the years fails me, it's the older sibling who protects the younger, correct?"
"Aw, c'mon!" I snickered, entirely ignoring the hold she had on my face. "We've never been even remotely close to conventional in the past, why start now, ne?"
Robin glared at me a bit more before looking away with a huff, her cheeks slightly puffed out. "Maybe so, but it's still embarrassing…"
"Pfhehehe—!"
"GYAAAAAH! HEEEELP!"
I was cut off by Luffy, suddenly hollering at the top of his lungs as he ran around… with Merry hanging off of his neck?!
"Come oooon, Captain!" she pleaded desperately. "Gimme a bite! An eentsy weentsy bite! No, less than that! A nibble, a morsel, even a lick will do! Just let me taste it!"
I felt a blue pallor come over my expression at the same time it fell over Robin's.
"Ah…" she mumbled helplessly.
"Soundbite…?" I all but pleaded.
"She's talking about his hat."
"Oh-thank-God…" we sighed in relief, slumping forward.
I held the position for a bit before glancing at Robin. "There's no chance in hell she'd settle for a nibble, is there?"
"Not a one," Robin confirmed with a chuckle as she righted herself. She was then silent for a bit as she observed the pair's antics, smiling fondly. "Still, getting back on topic… I must admit, aside from the less savoury adjustments, it's truly wonderful that you found a way to save her. I'm glad that I didn't have to suffer such a horrendous blight on the best day of my life."
"Heh. No chance of that happening either way, Robin," I chuckled as I waved her off. "I got desperate enough to save her en route to Enies that I appealed to the omnipotent asshat that dropped me here for a mulligan on saving her. It gave me her fruit in return for the entertainment I gave it—though I would have still done it anyway, the bastards deserved it for the hell they put you through—but if the fruit didn't work, it still gave me one last Hail Mary I could make use of."
"Oh?" Robin cocked her eyebrow as she made to take another sip of her drink. "Now that I think about it, I do recall Boss being surprised that you were willing to accept. What was the offer it proposed?"
I smirked as I subtly withdrew a Vision Dial, holding it at the ready while she started to drink.
"Oooh, nothing major… just instantaneous gender reassignment."
"PFFFT!"
Ahhh, a genuine spit take from Nico Robin, and I managed to immortalize it? Yes, indeed, let there be no doubts: life… was good.
Once she finished hacking and coughing, she pinned me with a glare, but then her eyes widened as she realized that I wasn't kidding. For a few more seconds, she just stared at me. Then she bowed her head, tilting her hat to cover her face.
I frowned in concern as she started to shake, but then I heard it.
"…dere… dereshi…"
It started slow, and then, without warning, Nico Robin, the Devil's Child, the Demon of Ohara…
"DERESHISHISHI! DERESHISHISHISHISHIII!"
Flung her head back and started laughing her guts out, tears of mirth fountaining from her eyes as she struggled to stay upright from laughing so hard.
I blinked in shock as I processed the completely and utterly unprecedented sight before me, but I was swift to get over my paralysis and hastily did two things: First, I snapped off a second photograph, because this too was a moment worthy of immortality. And second?
"PFFHAHAHAHA! PFFHAHAHAHAAAAA!"
"HEEHEEHEEHEEhoohoohooHAHAHAAAAA!"
I joined her in her mirth, both my snail and I laughing right alongside her. Because really, what else could I do under those circumstances? And hell, we would have probably kept laughing for a good long while, too, had life not decided to interrupt us.
"HOOHOOHOO—huh?" Soundbite suddenly cut himself off, one of his eyestalks cocked at something, before interrupting our dying laughter with a shrill whistle. "Hey, sorry to interrupt, but just FYI? YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY SHUTTERBUG AT THIS SHINDIG. SOMEBODY'S SNAPPING SHOTS OF OUR FRIENDS."
"Ah…" Robin snapped her gaze around as she analyzed our surroundings. "So 'Flaming' Attachan is here, then? I see…" She glanced at me inquisitively. "I trust you have a plan, Cross?"
"Hell yeah!" I nodded firmly. "I'm striking myself a pose, and I suggest you hop to it and do the same!"
"…eh?" Robin blinked in confusion.
"What, you think I'm actually gonna stop him?" I scoffed incredulously. "Please, if not today, then they'll try and snap our photos tomorrow. That's a fact, and not even I can stop it. As such…" I snapped up a thumbs-up. "I'm making sure that my anonymity dies on my terms, and not by candid! Get my drift?"
Robin stared at me silently before shrugging with a weary yet fond sigh. "I don't know what else I was expecting."
"Me neither. Now, if you'll excuse me—!" I interrupted myself as I suddenly broke into a sprint, dashing over to the nearest table I could find and leaping onto it, and jerking my transceiver's mic from its cradle.
"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN THE WORLD OVER, IF I MAY HAVE YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE!" I called out, my hand raised high into the air.
The vast majority of the eyes at the party snapped over to me, and according to Soundbite's whispered intel, one particular camera lens as well.
"AS YOU ALREADY KNOW," I proclaimed. "I'M JEREMIAH CROSS!"
"AND I'M SOUNDBITE!" the snail concurred.
"AND AS YOU ALSO KNOW, IT'S ONCE AGAIN TIME—!"
"TO START THE SBS!"
I… actually needed a second to recover from that. "Loud."
"AND FREAKING RUDE!" Soundbite howled at the crowd. "THAT'S MY DAMN SHTICK!"
"SHOVE IT UP YOUR SHELL, MUCUS STAIN!" Mikey cackled,
"GRRRRGH—!"
"ANYWAY!" I picked up hastily before he could really pick up steam. "NOW THAT OUR GOOD CAPTAIN IS AWAKE—!"
"HELP!" the captain cried out as he ran past, Merry still clinging to his neck. "OUR SHIP IS TRYING TO EAT MY HAT!"
"JUST LET ME LICK IT ALREADY, DAMN IT!"
I shuddered. "Trust me, it sounds even worse out of context… BUT ANYWAY, SEEING AS LUFFY'S AWAKE, WE'VE DECIDED TO THROW THE PARTY OF A LIFETIME TO COMMEMORATE… PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING WE'VE ACCOMPLISHED, AND YOU'RE ALL INVITED! AS SUCH?" I spread my arms invitingly. "IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU RESIDE IN THE HEIGHTS OF HEAVEN!"
"OR IF YOU DWELL WITHIN THE DEPTHS OF HELL!"
I snapped my finger down, pointing straight at Attach's camera as I held the mic to my mouth, the biggest damn grin plastered on my face.
"ALL AT ONCE, RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW!" Soundbite and I roared in tandem. "LET'S ROCK!"
And as the whole of the party roared their approval all at once, I caught sight of a single flash in all of the chaos, and I allowed myself a victorious fist pump.
I was about to get down and rejoin Robin…
"COME ON GUYS, SOMEONE HELP—! Oh, hey, Cross, is that a sword on your back?" Luffy stopped mid-run in front of me, pointing at—!
I grinned ecstatically at the glorious opportunity that had just been presented to me.
"Oh, yeah, almost forgot! HEY GUYS, GUESS WHAT?" I called out, garnering the crew's attention to me. I then drew Funkfreed and tossed him over my shoulder…
"BAROOOH!"
"WOOHOO!" I cheered as a trunk grabbed my midsection and lifted me onto the pachyderm's back. I laughed eagerly as I waved my arms at everyone. "I GOT AN ELEPHANT! SAY HELLO TO MY NEW SWORD, FUNKFREED!"
"Hiya, guys!" said the sword, waving his trunk politely.
Nami only allowed herself to gape for a moment before snapping her mouth shut and grinding the heel of her palm into her forehead. "Why on earth am I even surprised at this point?"
"Hell if I know," Zoro said, rolling his eyes. "Personally, I say you should have seen it coming. We were actually overdue for Cross bringing another animal into the crew by this point."
Vivi swapped her gaze between the elephant I was riding and Carue, scrambling away as fast as possible before marching over to the nearest bar she could find. "Jack, straight up, now."
"MWAHAHAHAHA!" Merry cheered ecstatically above the roar of the crowd. "I LOVE THIS CREW SO DAMN MUCH!"
-o-
And so it all continued, no less rambunctious to the end of the night. From the elevated platform where Usopp was singing, the meat-eating contest between Luffy and the giants, a large population of animals stopping by for the sake of being able to talk, and the messy results of the Dugongs trying to splash Funkfreed (two-ton elephant cannonballing into a tiny-ass pool equals huge-ass splash), the winding down was a very gradual process.
In the end, however, the embers of the barbecue died out, and most everyone was slumbering with full bellies and smiles as darkness fell over the island. Heck, I was even about to join them! I'd found a comfortable place to lie down and sleep the night away, and I was just about to doze off—
CHOMP!
"YEOW, SONNUVA—!" When, of course, I was snapped awake by the damn pest riding shotgun on my shoulder, deciding to nom on my neck for no good reason. "What the hell, you little—!?"
"Incoming half-decent FEATHER-RAT," he interrupted, his expression grim. Or disgusted, either or.
"I guess I should take that as a compliment, huh? Certainly better than what I got before."
"Eh—Oh!" I jerked upright as a familiar voice snagged my attention. "Hey, Coo!" I waved at the casual-clad News Coo as he perched on a nearby table. "Long time no squawk. What brings you to this particular stretch of sea?" I stiffened as a thought struck me. "Please tell me the Government isn't ruining another of our crewmates' lives! Or, well…" I cast a surreptitious glance at a certain snoozing cyborg. "You know what I mean."
"Nah, nah, nothing like that, Cross," the albatross reassured me with a wave of his wing, fishing a bundle of paper out of his bag with the other. "This time, I'm fairly certain everything I'm passing you is fairly self-evident. Or at least, nothing that directly affects your crew. But the printers are charging about ten times the normal rate for this special edition they're burning the presses for, so I thought I'd give you a wing." He ha—er, winged the paper over to me. "But if anyone asks—!"
"I got it from a gull in a trenchcoat, dun' worry about it," I said as I started to open the paper and wave him off, before freezing as a thought struck me. "Ah, by the way, while I have you… You happen to run any delivery routes that pass through Navarone by any chance?"
"Nah, not recently," Coo shook his head in denial. "Matter of fact, I've been haggling to get more pirate ships than anything. After what you've been saying, well…" He glanced to the side with a grimace. "It just seems safer, is all."
"D'oh…" I thwacked a hand to my forehead. "I didn't expect that to fall under negative consequences of what I did… ugh. Well, see if you can hang at least one visit to Navarone. It'd be for a good cause, and I can vouch for the Marines there."
Coo blinked in surprise, then shrugged. "Alright, I'll take your word for it. But for now, I've gotta get back. They see I'm missing and decide to run inventory, my ass is as good as plucked and roasted. I guess I'll see you next time you make the big news." He cocked his eyebrow at me with a smirk. "Meaning in about a month, two at most?"
"You know us so well," Soundbite sneered back.
The albatross grinned cheekily as he saluted, then began flapping away.
"Good to see him again," I mused before turning my attention to my little literary preview I'd been gifted. "Anyways, let's see, where to start…"
"HEY, CHECK IT!" Soundbite whooped eagerly, waving his eyestalk at a packet of papers in the folds. "OUR BOUNTIES! Damn, that shutterbug works fast! COME ON, I WANNA SEE just how steamed the high and holy asshats are!"
"In a second, in a second, keep your shell on," I waved him off as I set the papers aside. "I'm curious too, but let me check the rest of this thing first, alright? I'll check them out if there isn't anything more impo—oh holy SHITE!" I snapped to my feet as I hastily read over the passage that had caught my eye. "Oooooh… ohohoooh, this… this has potential."
"THE HELL ARE YOU—!?" I pointed out the article, and he read a few lines in before mirroring my grin. "You're right! Screw bounties, this is way more important!"
"My thoughts exactly," I nodded in agreement as I stored the paper back in my coat and started walking out of the enclosure. "Wake the other three—sorry, four, and tell them to meet me in the street. This is gonna be good."
Four bodies promptly jerked awake and slowly got to their feet, Zoro carrying Merry on his shoulder as they staggered towards me.
"Morning, sleeping beauties!" I greeted them with a cheerful wave. "I take it you all slept well—?"
"Shut it."
"—grk!" I choked as my tongue suddenly glued itself to the roof of my mouth.
"Well, at least that still works…" Vivi muttered acridly as she kneaded the bridge of her nose before shooting a glare at me. "Cross, let me be clear here: I am currently weathering a hangover which you caused. This had better be damn good."
I whimpered when she suddenly snapped her Cutter's chain taut between her fists.
"Or else. Now talk…" Vivi narrowed her eyes before snapping them wide in alarm. "About what you brought us here for! Damn, that was close."
I sighed in relief as I got control of my tongue back before allowing myself a smirk. "How does another meeting with CP9 sound to you guys?"
That shocked the sleep straight out of them.
"Seriously!?" Merry demanded indignantly. "Those bastards are actually hankering for a round two after you already punted their asses to the curb?"
"Guess we'll just have to do it again…" Nami scowled, the clouds around her starting to darken and crackle.
"Nah, nah, nothing like that," I waved them off casually. "They haven't had any medical treatment in two days, so they're still about as bad off as we left them. All they're planning to do is pass us by while walking down the sea-train tracks."
Zoro cocked his eyebrow at me as he released Kitetsu's hilt. "Then what the hell do you want us for?"
I smirked as I withdrew and unfolded the newspaper. "Because I'd prefer to have some measure of backup with me to deter them from doing anything stupid after they read this."
My crewmates leaned in and read the article I was tapping. Then they stared up at me with a combination of shock, horror, disbelief and, in Merry's case, eagerness.
"You cannot be serious," Vivi announced.
My smirk widened all the more.
"Oh, good God, he is," Nami said, paling in horror.
"I really love this crew…" Merry sighed joyfully.
-o-
The waters running by Water 7 were as placid as they could be on the Grand Line, the Sea Train that ruled the local seas slumbering in its rail yard and nothing bigger than a human disturbing the natural ebb and flow of the waves. Even the Sea Train tracks were stable enough that anyone with sea legs could walk on them reliably… which, as it happened, was exactly what was breaking the calm of the ocean on the borderline between night and day.
To anyone who had recently started serving at Enies Lobby, there was a certain fact of life that would come as an immediate surprise: The Watchdog Unit of the Law may have worked well in conjunction with their riders, and the watchdogs and their riders might have both hearkened to the command of Judge Baskerville, but the one who commanded and tamed the hounds in the first place was Jabra of CP9.
And of equal astonishment, despite the irritability and insubordination that he often displayed as a direct result of his chief, his rival, and his subordinates, the wolf-man also housed a relatively tranquil side that he had passed on to his 'trainees'. Ruthlessness to enemies, yes, but staunch loyalty to allies… whenever his or their bloodlust didn't overcome his pack instinct, at any rate.
Granted, this pack loyalty didn't extend to the many faceless Marines and agents that cycled through the island and treated it like a vacation spot, but it did pertain to their original master and his allies… however often said allies tended to shoot stink-eyes at each other.
And so it was that fifty white wolves padded through the twilight, some carrying other packmembers on their backs, while others supported the agents to whom they had sworn their lives, and subsequently gathered from their places of defeat.
Kalifa, Fukuro, and Kumadori were managing to stiffly march amidst their ranks, while Blueno and Jabra were limping along, supported on both sides by a pair of wolves. However, not all of the agents were quite so well off, and as such, Kaku and Lucci were being dragged along on a pair of cots hitched to some wolves, the one barely awake and the other utterly comatose, his pet pigeon drunkenly wobbling on his chest. Their long march had been silent from the moment that Enies Lobby, their ruined home, fell out of their sight. And only now did it break.
"We'll be passing Water 7 soon," Kalifa observed quietly.
"Almost makes me feel wistful," Kaku muttered as he angled the brim of his hat over his eyes.
"I'll admit it wouldn't be unpleasant to go—oh, honestly?" Hattori began, then cut himself off with a groan, causing all present to freeze.
"…Watchdogs, keep moving," Jabra growled.
"Yes, Boss Jabra," the wolves chorused as the company began moving again.
"Alright, and now before anyone gets it into their heads to panic," the Wolf-Zoan bit out. "You all said that that pest Soundbite could be doing this subconsciously, right?" He got a nod in response. "Good, that means we're still fine for now. So keep your shit cool, your heads down, and let's get past this place before anyone—!"
"YOU REALLY THINK you're that lucky?"
The watchdogs froze, cowering in terror.
"Oh, for the love of God…" Kalifa groaned wearily.
"NO LOVE, only wrath. NOW GET A MOVE ON. We're waiting for you at the Blue Station."
Fukuro tugged nervously on his zipper. "Ah… not that I'm in any way utterly terrified of the concept of running into that crew and their devil-seadog again, but is there… any way past Water 7 that doesn't involve us running into them?"
Blueno hung his head, groaning. "Considering how there's only the one line besides the railyard at Water 7, and the snail will most likely blast my eardrums if it hears an Air Door? Unless you'd all like to take a swim…"
"Let's just take our lumps as they come," Kaku groaned as he waved his hand in defeat. "Best case scenario? Cross rips the bloodhound a new one."
Jabra snarled darkly at the giraffe-man, but he motioned the wolves forward.
The already-tense air around the group grew fit to snap as they approached Water 7, the marching a solemn and nihilistic action on account of the self-evident fate that awaited them.
As the Blue Station steadily came into view, the grinding of Jabra's teeth became increasingly audible, and as they caught sight of none other than Jeremiah Cross himself sitting on the edge of the platform, his legs kicking about casually in the void, said grinding was interrupted by a very audible snap and growl. And Jabra would have most likely tried to take Cross's head off too, were it not for the trio of crewmates looming behind him with their weapons at the ready, with a fourth child-sized one perched on Roronoa's shoulder and somehow looking as menacing as the rest of them.
Cross perked his head up at the snap, shooting a thoroughly aggravating grin at the assassins. "Ahhh, hello there, assassins! Enjoying a lovely night stroll, eh?"
"SIGNS and stench POINT TO—!"
"Can we please just skip ahead to whatever the hell your point is, chapapaaaarghhh…" Fukuro interrupted with a pained groan as he massaged his skull. "Forty-eight hours later and my head is still ringing like a bell…"
"Not in the mood for my antics, hmm?" he chuckled, shrugging as he waved his hand dismissively. "Fine, fine, I'll go ahead and get to the point: In a nutshell, we're here to make a demonstration of what happens to enemies of ours such as you. Juuust so that there's no mistakes or misunderstandings about our modus operandi, ya know?"
Almost half of the group swallowed heavily at that, including Kalifa, but she steeled her back and glared him dead in the eye, albeit with a slight shiver when the clouds looming above them rumbled ominously. "B-Before you do… whatever it is you plan to do, I have to know one thing: how did you know about my Devil Fruit? Our Devil Fruits?" She swung her arm back at Kaku. "Not even the most famed and accomplished of clairvoyants has ever been able to discern the nature of an unrecorded Devil Fruit, and yet you identified two at once without ever even seeing them. How… How is that possible?"
Cross blinked in surprise before slowly letting his grin take on a menacing undertone. "As Kaku said way back when—ya know, when I utterly ruined five years of deep cover work?" The pirate's smirk widened as several of the assassins twitched. "I've yet to show the world even a fraction of the depth of my knowledge, Kalifa. I know a lot of things that, by all accounts, are utterly impossible for me to know."
"Things that were… things that are… and some things… that have not yet come to pass," Soundbite sneered in a deep, feminine voice that emanated age and wisdom.
"Allow me to demonstrate," Cross continued, tilting his head to the side just so. "The reason you guys are running all the way out here, tails between your legs—some offence—" He directed the comment at the Watchdogs, causing several dozen to start growling. At least, until Soundbite snarled back, reducing them to whimpers. "Is that the Marines started combing through the wreckage of Enies looking for you guys. And they were not doing it for your benefit, were they?"
The assassins shared nervous glances before Jabra responded with a snarl. "Yeah? What the hell of it, you two-bit piece of—?"
"The reason I bring it up," Cross flatly interrupted, all amusement wiped from his face. "Is that I can fill in the blanks you no doubt have. See, after a debacle of these proportions and with us nice and missing, the World Government needed a hide to pin the mess on. Now, I've already guaranteed that they're taking their metric ton of flesh from Spandam, but for something on this scale? It's just nowhere near enough." Cross withdrew a roll of paper from his jacket and tossed it to Kumadori. "That's where you come in."
The kabuki-styled assassin blinked at the newspaper in his hands before unfolding it and giving it a quick scan… which he swiftly followed up with a gasp. "YOYO—WHAT THE HELL!?"
"Eh? What is it, what is it? Something juicy?" Fukuro nearly squealed, bouncing up and down in an effort to catch sight of whatever it was his comrade was reading.
"You could say that," Cross mused casually as he made a show of examining the bandages where his fingernails used to be. "That newspaper, which is currently being rush-printed and will be spread across the world come morning, has your names, faces, alternate names and faces, and capabilities spread all over it."
That caused each and every one of the assassins to stiffen in shock and horror.
"…what?" Blueno gaped numbly.
"To summarize," Cross continued unhindered. "They're pinning everything on you and your so-called 'incompetence', and have done everything but put bounties on your heads." The pirate looked up, pinning them with a frigid glare. "You all are no longer members of Cipher Pol Number 9 because the World Government has disavowed each and every last one of you, including the legendary Rob Lucci."
"In a word?" Soundbite smiled frigidly. "You've BEEN BURNED. And when you're burned, you've got nothing: no cash, no credit, no job history. You're stuck in whatever city they decide to dump you in. You do whatever work comes your way. You rely on anyone who's still talking to you. Bottom line: As long as you're burned, you're not going anywhere."
"Heh, nice," Cross chuckled, holding his hand up to Soundbite, who eagerly responded with an eye-five.
Fukuro and Kumadori were gaping almost comically, while Kalifa and Blueno looked utterly devastated and Jabra looked fit to rear back and howl, the wolves beside him attempted to console him. And Hattori, for his part, just looked straight-up disgusted.
Finally, Kaku gathered enough strength to lean up on his cot and direct a stare with something very close to hatred at the pirate. "Is that why you came here? It's not enough that you were responsible for all of this, but you have to rub it in our faces and kick us while we're down? Is that the punishment we've earned for what we did to Nico Robin and the rest of your crew?" he asked frigidly.
The other assassins slowly broke out of their stupors to match Kaku's glare.
"Mmm…" Cross tapped his chin in clearly exaggerated thought before shrugging indifferently, entirely unaffected by the sheer force of hate being directed at him. "Nah, that's stupid. After all, you guys aren't our enemies anymore, right?"
That brought the assassins up short, causing them to blink at him in confusion.
"Ah… come again?" Hattori slowly raised his wing in askance. "Come again?"
"Well, sure!" Cross nodded sagely. "Two days ago, we fought each other practically to the death because you lot were all tools of the World Government, following your orders to the letter with dogged persistence and loyalty. But now, the World Government has dropped you all like yesterday's garbage! Know what that makes all of you to us?"
"…nobodies?" Jabra guessed with a snarl.
"Close!" Cross chirped as he dropped his chin onto his fists, his expression serene and casual… up until he cracked open an eye full of menace. "You're a bunch of highly-trained and dangerous nobodies who are now out of an employer, and are now in need of a new one."
Fifty jaws hit the tracks, while seven stiffened furiously. "And you're thinking of filling that position, then?" Kaku asked suspiciously.
"Meh, after a fact." Cross waved his hand carelessly before reaching into his jacket. "Ah, before I forget; here, catch." He withdrew an envelope and flung it out to them.
Fukuro caught it and took a single glance inside before reeling in shock. "What the—?!"
"Severance pay for Lucci, courtesy of Iceburg, plus Kaku and Kalifa's. I never got the chance to give it to you at Enies. It should be more than enough to cover your needs for the immediate future. As for long-term…" Cross rolled his finger a bit, prompting Fukuro to draw out a small slip of paper. "I'd suggest you call that number once you're all free and clear. Trust me, it'll be worth your while. Hell!" He spread his arms invitingly. "I bet you'll wonder whether or not you ever left your previous job.
"…What exactly are you saying, Cross?" Blueno inquired suspiciously.
Cross's smile jerked upwards. "Simply this: You've all dedicated your lives to serving the World Government's justice, and while they have found your results to be lacking, I still see merit in them. As such, I'm offering you all a new justice to follow, one that should, with any luck, prove to be far more appreciative of your time and effort. But hey!" He folded his arms behind his head and started carelessly swaying side to side. "It's just that: an offer. Right now, you have the power and the freedom to make your own path, however and wherever you so choose. Just consider this… a peace offering; after all, if your former allies are now your enemies, why not consider making your former enemies your allies?"
"And you honestly expect us to believe that you'd aid us all so freely after we tried to kill you all?" Hattori asked incredulously.
"What are you, stupid or something?" the girl on Roronoa's shoulder chuckled. "Vivi tried to kill us all within twenty-four hours of meeting us, Nami faked killing Usopp in the East Blue, Sanji and Zoro try to kill each other on a daily basis, and Robin tried to kill Cross within ten minutes of meeting him!"
"Everybody tries to kill everybody! It's how we communicate ON THIS CREW!" Soundbite grinned.
"Hell!" Cross threw his hands up with a laugh. "It's how everybody communicates in the Grand Line! It's only when you actually kill someone that there are problems! But, ah, seriously, if it'll help…" Cross waved his hand before his face with a sheepish smile. "I've already tried the whole 'kick 'em while they're down' routine a while back. Did not end well for me, still hasn't ended yet, and I doubt it will for a while. Trust me, I've learned my lesson: revenge is a bitch on both parties, so…"
He clapped his hands together before his wide smile. "Just trust me on this, m'kay? Because really, now… what exactly do you have besides your lives and the clothes on your backs to lose?"
The assassins exchanged looks for the next minute, an unspoken conversation passing between them. Finally, Kaku responded.
-o-
"Pfheheheh…" I chuckled as I watched the large party march off into the distance. "Quite the creative fellow, isn't he?"
"And why exactly are you so chipper?" Nami cocked her eyebrow questioningly as she rested her staff across her shoulders. "Last time I checked, a good negotiation doesn't end when one party cusses out the other."
"Save that that was all they did…" Vivi mused as she followed my line of sight.
"Eh?"
"They didn't toss out the number, witch," Zoro grunted as he dug a pinkie in his ear. "And if they didn't do it now, I'd bet they're not going to do it later."
Nami processed that, blinking rapidly before crossing her arms as she finally turned to watch them. "…Well, how about that… Still, though." She glanced at me uncertainly. "You really think it's a good idea to recruit them?"
"Well, what's the worst that could happen?" Merry shrugged as she slid off Zoro's shoulder and ambled over to our navigator. "Seriously, what? They betray us? To who? They seek out revenge? They might be jobless, but they're still pros. They prove to be incompetent? We already know they aren't. There's no downside!"
"Admittedly, Lucci could prove to be something of a problem; the bastard is headstrong if nothing else…" I muttered as I rolled my shoulders, popping a few sleepy joints. "But meh, I trust it'll all work out in the end. At the very least, there's no shame in trying."
"Well, when you put it like that…" Nami shrugged as she finally allowed her clouds to lighten up a bit.
"Glad to hear that you approve. Now then, let's—ah!" I started to push myself to my feet, but I paused as a ray of light lanced its way into my eye, forcing me to snap my hand up with a wince. "Geeze, what the—!?…oh. Well, now…" I slowly trailed off as I sat back down, my gaze set dead ahead on the horizon. "Ain't that a helluva sight…"
And damn well it was. The sun was just starting to peek over the horizon, and Paradise was doing its darnedest to earn its title. Have you ever seen a dawn so beautiful you're just left speechless? Because damn… they don't come often.
"Heh…" Vivi chuckled lightly as she folded her arms before her chest, casually tucking a lock of her hair behind her ear. "It has been a while since I've actually taken the time to get up and watch it… Now I see what I've been missing."
"Tch," Zoro scoffed as he shoved his hands in his pockets. "It's just a sunrise, nothing special." Nonetheless, we could all hear the grin in his voice.
"Oh, shut up and enjoy the scenery, mosshead," Nami chirped cheerfully, her clouds flicking about casually as she swayed back and forth on her heels.
"Eh, personally, I'm of two minds," Merry sighed as she plopped herself in my lap and started kicking her legs thoughtfully. "On the one hand, I'm human now, so I need to sleep, meaning that I won't always be able to watch the sunrise like before…"
"BUUUUT?" Soundbite queried.
Merry tilted her head back and grinned eagerly. "But! Now I can share it with all of you, and that makes this worth it!"
I smiled endearingly as I leaned forward and rested my chin on her head.
"Yeah…" I whispered, watching the sun peek over the horizon without so much as a speck of worry for the future.
And so my friends and I, a mere fraction of my family, watched a new day dawn together.
"Yeah, it does."
And so life was good.
-o-
A relatively fair distance away from Water 7, Admiral Aokiji peered out of a porthole below the deck of his battleship at that selfsame sunrise with no small amount of melancholy.
The Admiral continued to contemplate the sunrise even as he naturally went about his task, frosty breath exhaling from his mouth and stretching from corner to corner of the insulated room, dropping the temperature to subzero.
It was an odd order, to be sure, but Aokiji could see the logic behind it, however twisted. In the end, the actions he took would ensure the optimal outcome in the sentence for the World Government's latest prisoner.
For all that he could see the logic, however, Aokiji could not help but harbour doubts after the events of Enies Lobby, but neither could he find the wherewithal to disobey his orders. As such, he dutifully went about his task of renewing the room's cryogenic temperatures before exiting the customized cell.
On his way out, however, he took notice of one of the guards outside snapping his head away in order to hide a grimace.
Aokiji considered him for a moment before sighing as he scratched the back of his skull. "Speak your mind, Marine," the admiral drawled. "I'm not Akainu."
The guard stiffened at being discovered, but after a moment's debate, he slowly turned to look his vastly superior officer in the eye with a gaze full of doubt. "This—" he began hoarsely. He coughed and swallowed, and tried again. "Sir, with all due respect, this is… this is not a good idea. More than that, it's… It's foolhardy, stupid even. After everything Jeremiah Cross said on the SBS, with everything going on right now, for us to do… to do this?" The soldier shook his head in denial. "I… this, this could destroy the Marines, sir."
Aokiji silently stared at the guard before shaking his head with another sigh. "Honestly, I'm inclined to agree with you, soldier, and if I could, I'd cut him loose here and now… but unfortunately, the orders came down from above my paygrade, so that's a no-can-do."
"B-But surely if you brought it up with Fleet Admiral—!"
"Came down from above Sengoku's head too," Aokiji continued grimly. "And Kong's, to boot."
The guard's words died in his throat as he contemplated those words, and after a moment, he slowly turned his head to stare at the freezer door in despair. "Why… Why would they do this, sir?"
"Mmm…" Aokiji scratched at his temple contemplatively. "From what I've heard… they had a plan."
"S-Sir?"
"An old plan," the frigid admiral continued, slowly striding to a nearby wall and sinking down into a sitting position with his elbows resting on his legs. "One they'd had on the back burner for a while. They were always going to enact it; they were just waiting for the right opportunity to present itself. But now…" Aokiji's brow furrowed darkly. "After all that's happened? After the Darkest Day in the History of the World? Apparently… the plan has been changed."
"C-Changed… changed how?"
"Well, before? He," Aokiji nodded at the door. "Was the endgame of it all. The one true objective and piece they needed. But now…" The Chilly-man jerked his thumb downwards. "Now he's been demoted to a mere lynchpin. Important and optimal, sure, but ultimately replaceable. They're merely using him for some other goal. Something grander than what they had in mind before… something worse."
The guard stared at the admiral for a few seconds as he processed that before swallowing heavily. "But… But, sir… People… people are going to die for this plan to succeed…" The man walked to the freezer door, slid open a peephole in the metal, and gazed inside.
"What could possibly justify those deaths? What good could possibly come…" he breathed as he watched the young man slumber within, both on account of the cold and the IV stuck in his arm, a necklace of red beads the only clothing he wore above the waist. "From executing Fire Fist Ace?" He then glanced to the side, eyeing the other two sleeping prisoners with unease. "Not to mention imprisoning Maelstrom Spider Squardo and Ice Witch Whitey Bay?"
Aokiji sighed heavily and made to answer…
"Zehahaha! More than you'd think, little man!"
Only to snap his jaw shut with a barely suppressed snarl when the voice of the newest bane of his existence suddenly grated on his ears. The ice-man glared icicles at the staircase the large figure had descended from. "Blackbeard," he bit out.
"Zehahahahaaa! Aww, c'mon, Aokiji, call me Teach!" Marshall D. Teach laughed uproariously as he entered the room, an audibly halfway-drunk bottle hanging from his hand as he shot a leer at the Admiral. "After all… we are friends, ain't we?"
Aokiji's scowl deepened as his hands snapped into fists, frost swiftly starting to coat his limbs. "We are not friends, Blackbeard."
"Ooooh, but ain't we?" The odious pirate's grin widened malevolently. "Because no matter how you cut it, I do owe you for making all of this possible! That makes you a friend in my book, zehahaha! And as for you!" He snapped his attention back to the guard before Aokiji could respond. "To answer your question…" He snapped his finger up at the door. "I'll have you know that that brat's life is worth more than this entire ship in gold! And his death even more so… so long as it's carried out properly! ZEHAHAHAHAAAA!"
The guard swallowed heavily as he backed away from the imposing pirate. "I-Is that so?"
"You got that right, bub!"
"GAH!" The Marine stiffened in horror when Blackbeard suddenly slung his far larger arm over the man's shoulders and pulled him close, invading his senses with his rancid breath.
"And believe me, I should know…" Marshall D. Teach grinned maliciously. "After all, I used his life to buy not only my life, but the lives of my crew and my position as a Warlord of the Seas to boot! Ain't that right…"
The Darkness-human slowly turned his smile on the frosted-over admiral in the room.
"Aokiji?"
Kuzan's grimace deepened as he cast his mind back to what the bastard before him was referencing.
The exact moment when he'd been forced to sell what little of his soul remained to the devil.
The moment he'd saved Blackbeard's life.
~o~
"Hooo…" Admiral Aokiji sighed out a misty breath as he contemplated what remained of the island around him. "Might have overdone it a bit. Sengoku's not gonna let me hear the end of this…"
Currently, the admiral and the well-bundled soldiers alongside him were in the process of combing through the icy wasteland that Banaro Island had become. The reason for the recent climate-reassignment was on account of garbled reports coming in that a pair of powerful pirate crews had been tearing apart the island over the course of a full day. And indeed, upon approaching the island, they'd been treated to the sight of an extremely violent fight ripping the land apart, all while a behemoth of a ship rained hot lead upon the field of combat.
Normally, Aokiji would have spared some measure of restraint or caution in subduing the aggressors, but the fact was that he simply didn't have the time; in the wake of Enies Lobby's destruction, this cataclysm was just one of many, many such crises raging across the world. As such, the best he could do was end matters as swiftly and cleanly as possible.
This logic, combined with the knowledge that the island's civilians had long since evacuated the surrounding waters, led to a single inescapable conclusion: an Ice Age, massive in scale, to simply freeze each and every pirate where they stood. Now all they had to do was locate their frozen bodies, and either arrest them or eliminate them, depending on how troublesome they were. Nice and easy—
"S-Sir!" a Baby Transponder Snail being carried by one of Aokiji's men suddenly squawked up. "I-I found someone!"
"Finally…" the ice-man sighed in relief. "Can you identify them?"
"Ah… n-not quite, sir… h-he won't give me his name."
That brought Aokiji up short. "A…run that by me again, soldier?"
"I-I, ah… h-h-he's in sector 5, sir. Y-You're gonna wanna come and see this yourself."
With no small amount of curiosity, the lazy admiral moved in the direction of the sector indicated. Had someone managed to evade his Ice Age? Well, if they had a bird Zoan or if they'd been off the ground at the time by some other means, they may have escaped the cold wave.
The man he soon saw, however, was decidedly not a bird. Rather, he was a fat, hairy, and supremely large apelike man with missing teeth and clothes entirely ill-suited to the climate, sitting cross-legged in a large circle of snow, his arms crossed, frost beginning to accumulate on his body as he shivered with obvious discomfort.
While the man's presence and unfrozen state were concerning in and of themselves, there was another factor of the scene that held Aokiji's attention: The man was sitting in the middle of a circle of snow. Not ice.
Aokiji's men each took a nervous step back as the ambient temperature around their superior nosedived, the layers of frost on his body expanding as he stepped forward. "Who the hell are you?" the Admiral demanded.
The man kept his head bowed, shivering, before finally raising his gaze, the ice on his neck snapping as he moved. "A-A-Admiral A-A-Aokiji…" he bit out painfully, his expression one of grim determination. "G-G-Good… t-t-that's good… T-The Elder Stars… I need you… to call the Elder Stars… Y-Y-You have their number… r-r-right?"
Aokiji tensed at the demand, his mind flying as he tried and failed to reason out the logic behind what he was hearing. "And while the hell should I—?"
"I-I-I have his s-s-son."
"…what?" Aokiji finally asked after a long moment of confused silence.
"I-I-I said…" the man stuttered out through his chattering teeth. "I-I-I have his s-s-son. T-T-Tell them that. T-T-Tell them… and t-t-they'll want to talk to m-m-me."
The Admiral stared silently at the man before shooting a glance at the man in his squad who was carrying the adult Snail. "Get me the Elder Stars, ASAP. Priority one."
The soldier was quick to draw out the snail and punch in the number. The gastropod only rang for once before it adopted a stern expression. "Admiral. What are you—?"
"I-I-I have his son."
The snail stiffened before slowly turning to face the speaker. "What was that?" it quietly but firmly demanded.
The shivering man snorted as he stared at the snail dead in the eyes. "M-M-My name…" he grit out. "I-I-Is Marshall D. Teach. Y-You would know me better as Blackbeard. And I have his son."
Aokiji stiffened at the man's middle initial, but the most powerful men in the world remained stern.
"How do we know you're telling the truth?"
"R-R-Rouge," Teach replied without hesitation.
The snail fell silent before biting out a 'tsk'. "What do you want?"
"Y-Y-You know what I w-w-want."
There was another moment of silence before the snail narrowed its eyes. "We could just take him."
"N-No, y-you couldn't…" Teach slowly shook his head in grim denial. "I-I-It's taking every ounce of c-c-concentration I have to k-k-keep them all i-i-intact. I-I-If I die, o-o-or lose my f-f-focus, then they'll be lost to the d-d-darkness. And if he d-d-dies here, then it means n-n-nothing."
Later on, Aokiji would not be ashamed to admit that he flinched when Teach leaned forward, so as to better glare at the snail. "You don't," he breathed malevolently. "Have a damn choice."
For a few minutes, even the winds themselves seemed to silence themselves as the world held its breath. And then…
The Five Elder Stars sighed in defeat. "As of this moment," one of them bit out grimly. "We, the Five Elder Stars, hereby deem Marshall D. Teach, aka 'Blackbeard', as Crocodile's replacement for the World Government's sanctioned pirate task force, the Seven Warlords of the Sea, effective immediately."
Aokiji felt a lance of existential terror shoot through him at the exact same instant that a massive grin spread across Teach… no, Blackbeard's face.
"S-Sirs, with all due respect—!" the Admiral started hastily.
"The decision has been made, Admiral." The Elder Stars cut him off. "Your orders are to escort Blackbeard to your ship and take Fire Fist Ace into custody. This is your only priority now, Admiral. Do we make ourselves clear?"
"But, sirs—!"
"Do we make ourselves clear, Admiral Aokiji?"
The ice-man flinched fearfully as he fought to keep himself conscious. "C-Crystal, sirs."
"Good. See to it. We'll contact you again at a later date with further instructions." And with that, the highest powers in the world hung up, leaving Aokiji alone with a monster.
Said monster chuckled darkly as he slowly made his way to his feet, frost and ice crackling off of him as he moved. "Zehahaha! Ahhh, m-man, that was a c-c-close one! I was almost c-c-completely certain that I was act-t-tually gonna die! Ace and his f-f-friends came this close to d-d-doing my boys and me in…" He directed his smirk at Aokiji. "B-B-But then you saved my a-a-ass with that wave of ice. F-F-Froze everyone else while I j-j-just took it in. H-H-Hurts like a b-b-bitch, but hey!" he spread his arms demonstratively. "I'm alive! A-A-And that's what counts. I-I-I owe you my life…"
Blackbeard strode forward and slammed his hand down on Aokiji's shoulder, leaning his smile in close.
"Friend."
~o~
A full two days later, Aokiji was still cursing himself for letting the bastard live, and he still dreaded every instant that he was in the man's presence. But even in spite of his revulsion, he couldn't help but ask a single question.
"Why?"
"Eh?" Blackbeard glanced over at the Admiral with a smirk. "Whazzat?"
"I asked you why, you damn bastard," Aokiji demanded venomously. "I looked up your Devil Fruit, Teach. My ice would have been burning your insides the entire time, including the ice of your crew and Ace and his comrades, and once he thawed, your doctor treated you for frostbite on over seventy percent of your body. He had to reattach twelve different digits. I could hear you screaming the entire time, so I know that it hurt like hell. So why? Why go through all that pain? What's your goal?"
Blackbeard remained silent for a while as he stared at the Marine, before slowly grinning in response.
"You're right," he chuckled. "It did hurt. It hurt worse than getting shot by a Colt .96 sniper rifle, but less than getting flayed by prehensile razorwire. Ironically, it hurt about as much as getting burned alive by my old commander's hottest flames! Oooh, trust me, I know pain, Admiral. I know pain like the back of my hand, and every time I meet it, it never gets any easier. But ya know what!?"
He thumped a fist to his chest. "It doesn't matter! It doesn't matter how much it all hurts; it doesn't matter what the world does to me, what it throws at me, because I can take it! I'll take it all, every bit of it, wherever and whenever it wants to try! No matter how much it makes me scream, I'll take it all, and then I'll laugh afterwards anyway! And you wanna know why?"
Aokiji practically froze as darkness began to roil off the man, tongues of pure evil flickering from his body.
"It's simple, really…" he chuckled. "I'll take it all… because it's for the sake of my dream. No matter how much it hurts, I'll bear it so long as it means making my dream come true. And as for my dream… well."
The smile the frostburn-covered man bore did the impossible: it sent shivers down Aokiji's spine.
"Let me sum it up for you."
And so, with darkness roaring off of him like a twisted inferno, Marshall D. Teach proudly proclaimed the sentence that would fill Admiral Aokiji with nothing less than existential despair… and would haunt him for the rest of his life.
"I AM THE MAN… WHO WILL BE KING OF THE PIRATES! ZEHAHAHAHA! ZEEEEEEHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!"
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I want to reiterate that this was all ONE FUCKING CHAPTER.