"And… that was pretty much it," I concluded with a defeated sigh. "We woke up a few hours ago, and we've only just managed to piece ourselves together enough to start throwing a victory party. So… yeah, not the most fun 24 hours of my life, I can tell you that much. Word to the wise: if anyone sees Moria? Shoot first, ask questions never. The world will be better once we're certain he's out of it."
"Apapa… I can't even imagine it…" Apoo said, incredulity and awe in his voice. "To pull off everything you did and then take down a monster like that… Kid's an asshole, but damn if he wasn't right: your crew is the gold standard for this generation of pirates."
"Fancy words," Merry winced as she cradled her cast. "Doesn't stop the fact that we all feel like we were used as kickballs."
"You say gold standard, I have a few other choice words…" Vivi agreed, gripping her abdomen's scar.
"Well, at least you all managed to survive. It is better to survive, even in pain, so that one might live to fight again."
"You're the last person I wanna hear that from, WAX-FACE!" Soundbite snorted.
"If we may proceed," Tsuru cut in, quieting any further commentary. "Jeremiah Cross, I've heard many rumours over the years pertaining to the Warlord Bartholomew Kuma, but I am afraid that they are just that: rumours. Whatever truth there is pertaining to him or whatever contract he holds with the World Government, it is held at the highest levels of confidence. All I know for certain pertaining to the man is his previous affiliation with the Revolutionary Army—"
"Not relevant right now," I cut in, what with Vivi and Merry gaping at me.
"And his Devil Fruit. Can you shed any light upon his true nature?"
I grumbled uncertainly, scratching at the back of my head. "Can't help you with much, I'm afraid; he was still a major mystery when I left, along with Vegapunk himself."
"Who is jealously guarded by the World Government, above any Marine's head, blast…" Tsuru tsked. "I would have liked to know how far his modifications go…"
"Now that I can tell you!" I informed her. "But it's not good news. To call Kuma a cyborg like Franky would be grossly inaccurate, because not only is Kuma leagues more advanced than Franky… he's more machine, too."
I bowed my head solemnly. "Back in my world, we had a word for what's happening: Kuma's being cannibalized by his upgrades. Piece by piece, the man known as 'The Tyrant' Bartholomew Kuma is being devoured by technology. Flesh and blood, replaced by metal and oil. And his brain… literally hardwired into complete and total loyalty to the World Government. In another month or two, Bartholomew Kuma will be dead; all that will be left in his place is a Devil Fruit-empowered android that will follow the World Government's every command. The ultimate soldier of justice: PX-0, the original Pacifista."
There was a horrified silence as everyone processed that little tidbit.
And then, Tashigi swallowed heavily and spoke with a voice full of dread. "The… original Pacifista?"
I nodded grimly. "He's the prototype. The first of an entire program of unstoppable, unkillable soldiers meant to uphold justice without hesitation or remorse, all moulded in Kuma's image. They're not easy to make, mind you; to my knowledge, the budget for building one is the same as a Marine battleship, so the damage and fallout from Enies Lobby may have cut down on their numbers… but…" My fingers curled into fists as memories of fire and hell wafted through my mind. "They still found the money to build two dozen, and you know as well as I do that they'll acquire however much they need to make more. Mark my words: the future is plated in metal, and it is marching forward every day."
Another span of silence. "So… what you're telling us," Foxy bit out uncomfortably. "Is the World Government modifying other humans the same way that they're modifying Kuma, turning them into—?"
"Thankfully, no," I said with a sigh of relief. "From what I remember of what Sentomaru said when he took a few out for a test drive? Kuma was the only upgraded human. The rest were all built around corpses. Makes sense, really," I sneered derisively. "After all, you know what they say: Dead men tell no tales… nor do they ask any questions."
Soundbite's face twisted up, reflecting Tashigi's expression. "I'd… I'd really like nothing more than to move on from this right this instant, but… but before we do…" She took a calming breath before giving me a hard look. "Why didn't you mention this sooner, Cross? We might not have anyone in Vegapunk's labs, but scuttlebutt still exists, and we could have tried keeping an ear out for missing corpses to estimate how many Pacifistas have been generated. This isn't exactly a bad thing, but… I just have to know, Cross: why wait until now to tell us about them?"
I found myself left completely flat-footed by the question. I thought as hard as I could about it, plumbing my mind for an answer, and unfortunately, there was only one response I could give. On that was weak, even to me, and yet terrifying. "I… hadn't really thought about it until now."
Tashigi heaved a weary sigh. "Cross—!"
"Or, rather…" I grimaced as I brought a hand up to tap furtively at my temple. "I forgot about them."
And if that didn't damn well freeze the air solid.
"C-Cross," Vivi breathed in horror. "Are you trying to tell me that—?"
"No, no, not that bad!" I quickly assured her. "I remember the plot of the story just fine, that's easy, but… well…" I glanced away sheepishly. "Vivi, it's been almost a year since I last read the source material. I can remember the plot with ease, but details… are you telling me that any of you can recall the exact wording of a page from a book you read a week ago?"
"Quite easily, yes," a voice offered from my shoulder.
"Beat it, ya photographic-memoried freak o' nature."
"Everyone has a photographic memory, Jeremiah Cross. The difference is how quickly the photos degrade," Tsuru said, and I could hear the smirk in her voice. As could everyone else, judging by the snickers.
"I have a foghorn, and I'm not afraid to use it," I growled, bringing that little episode to a close.
"In all seriousness, Cross, I think our newest Cleaner may be able to help… if Cancer can convince him to come with us," Tashigi grumbled, before shaking her head. "His abilities are a bit… esoteric, and you're not gonna have a fun time experiencing them, but if anyone can help literally refresh your memories? Next to someone with a mind-based Devil Fruit, it'd be him."
"Uh, excuse me?" Lola said, raising her hand. "What do you mean by Cleaners?"
"We cannot risk the knowledge of our organization spreading to hostile ears, so the few among our number capable of hypnosis or otherwise brainwashing have been tasked with ensuring that no such leaks occur by wiping the minds of any who should learn of us without being truly loyal to the cause, but who would also be best kept alive," Tsuru explained. "And on a related note, I am grateful that you suggested forming such a group, Mister Cross. Were it not for your suggestion that I be a bit more innovative with my ability, I would have had to do something quite regretful a week ago."
"Oh?" I leaned forward. "Care to share, Vice Admiral?"
"I would." Tsuru rolled her neck slightly before continuing. "A week ago, I was approached by another Marine who had discovered our existence much like I had, and asked to join our ranks. This Marine was Vice Admiral Komei, one of my success stories; he didn't show much promise when he was recruited, but I allowed his commission to go through for his dedication, if nothing else, and he has more than repaid that faith over time. He's an honourable man, decent even, and a strong proponent for the strength of the common man; through ingenious tactics and his own rigorous training, he's downed even the most powerful ability users who have the misfortune of making an enemy of him."
"A genius tactician, eh? Sounds like a Marine after my own heart," Foxy whistled admirably.
"A genius, a powerhouse, and an all-around incredible leader! 'White Feather' Komei is one of the most respected Marines alive!" Tashigi gushed ecstatically, sounding on the verge of outright squeeing. "You mean to tell me he's a Mason now!?"
"Hmph, not in this lifetime. I wiped his memory and sent him on his way almost as soon as he made the proposition," Tsuru snorted dryly.
"…eh?" Tashigi blinked dumbly, her smile frozen in place.
"Why would you—?! Ooooh…" Foxy grimaced in realization. "Right, a tactician I would like, meaning… intellect combined with an enormous survival instinct?"
"Exactly, mister Fox."
"Someone wanna speak English for us normal yahoos!?" Bartolomeo demanded.
"It means," Foxy said. "That he's essentially a very big, very smart rat. If we'd let him into our ranks, he would have been loyal for a time, and then if he ever got a hint that the New World Masons would be going under, he'd jump ship and sell everyone else out to save his own skin. Not out of malice, but simply because it'd be the smartest move to make."
"Precisely," Tsuru nodded regretfully. "I told Komei as much, and he did not deny that it was a likely scenario. Still, he was very gracious in my rejection and willingly subjected himself to the memory wipe. He walked away unscathed, and life continues as normal, though now I have my eye on him, and I suspect this will not be the last time I see him. Hopefully, the Tone Dial he recorded for himself in the future will prevent any… untoward incidents."
I sighed, as did a few others. It was unfortunate, but, well, we couldn't count on everything going our way.
"That really is disappointing, though," Tashigi wept miserably. "His membership would have helped us grow our numbers much faster. So many recruits look up to him, especially since he got to where he is without relying on a Devil Fruit."
"I seriously resent those implications…" Merry grumbled petulantly.
"We know, Merry," Vivi said sympathetically, before looking back at Soundbite. "Any other recruitments that we should know about?"
"Well, one of our more ambitious plans has been to plant a mole within the walls of Impel Down," T-Bone sighed. "Unfortunately, it seems to be as difficult for anyone aside from incoming prisoners to get into the gaol as it is to get out of it; the institution is not, strictly speaking, in the World Government's chain of command, but rather self-polices and handpicks its recruits with rigorous discipline. We cannot truly 'infiltrate' them as they are a closed system with nowhere we can feasibly enter. For the time being, I am afraid the walls of Impel Down are sacrosanct."
"Regretful, but…" I sighed in defeat. "That's life, I suppose. We'll just have to approach from another angle once we really have to."
"A 'Get out of Jail Free' card would have been nice, though…" Apoo sighed longingly.
"Mm, quite," Tsuru hummed in a disapproving tone. "Still, while we're speaking of Impel Down, there's something you should know. Something that Jonathan has recently discovered, and is investigating with the aid of the Blackarm Instructors."
"The Black—?" I sat up straighter as I made the connection. "You mean the Marines who explicitly stonewalled Jonathan's offer to join us because they rightfully hate pirates more than the average good Marine?!"
"It's that serious."
"Ulp." I tugged nervously at my collar. "And this discovery would be…?"
Tsuru's gaze became steely. "There are prisoners missing."
"… er…" I glanced away sheepishly. "If you mean from Impel Down, I can—"
"I'm interested in that and will be addressing that later, but no," Tsuru shook her head in denial. "I mean, there are prisoners missing from Justice itself."
I turned that phrase over in my head every which way I could, but no, there wasn't a single way that sounded good. "Explain. Now."
Instead of addressing me, the Vice-Admiral turned her attention to my crewmate. "Princess Nefertari. I trust you'll recall the incident involving Prince Calidin of Thoulosa a year ago, in the Kingdom of Kazlok, the South Blue?"
"Ergh, I wish I didn't. I always knew there was something wrong with that little monster's head…" Vivi shook her head in disgust before eyeing the rest of us. "For those of you not in the know, Calidin was a disturbed product of royal inbreeding who was high on the line of succession for Thoulosa's throne. And when I say disturbed, I mean 'missing pets and terrified servants' disturbed. But as a royal, it was all tolerated and swept under the rug… until one day he snapped and went on a broad-daylight spree in the neighbouring kingdom, Kozlak. Now, obviously, the bastard was arrested by the World Government, but the Kingdom of Thoulosa raised a stink about wanting him back. It was a front-page sensation for days!" Vivi suddenly choked off, her eyes wide in terrified realization. "Until… Until suddenly it just stopped. Any mention of Calidin disappeared…"
"As did Calidin himself, in person and paperwork alike," Tsuru completed with the utmost solemnity. "The mad prince of Thoulosa fell off the face of the seas."
"And… you're sure he wasn't discreetly shipped off to Impel Down or…?" Merry offered uneasily.
"Corpses and prisoners alike leave traces, but here there are none," Tsuru replied. "Without any warning, the prince vanished and with him the entire scandal. And he is far from the only one."
Lola swallowed heavily, cold sweat gleaming on her brow. "H-How many?"
The elderly Vice-Admiral's lips twisted in a grimace. "The better question is 'how long', and the answer… is centuries. Over the course of the World Government's existence, there have arisen many individuals like Calidin: sensitive prisoners and criminals, who could not be executed or imprisoned through normal means without blowback or due to some form of extenuating circumstances. Some of these individuals were of political importance, others were 'mentally disturbed,' and would have been threats in both the general population and solitary confinement alike… and of course, more than a few earned the personal ire of the World Nobles. What they all share in common is that once their incidents reached peak complexity, they vanished into the aether, never to be heard from again."
"…I'll repeat," Vivi whispered in horror. "How many?"
"Since the start of this Age… several hundred, without a trace."
"And… no leads, whatsoever? Nothing!?" Bartolomeo choked out.
Tsuru slowly closed her eyes. "There is one thing. A single word, in a scant few locations, but… I doubt it is random."
"And that would be…?"
"…Darkness."
"…the one fruit that could explain it, and we know for a fact that it's impossible. Perfect." I clawed my hand down my face with an angry sigh. Then I looked up again as a thought occurred to me. "Wait a second, what about CP9? This seems like something they'd do."
"A reasonable assumption, but sadly one I have already exhausted," Scorpio interjected with a shake of his head. "I have already asked Lucci, the oldest of the current generation, about those who vanished during his tenure as an agent, but he knows not a thing about any of them. It is possible he simply wasn't involved, but…"
"No, I get it, Soldier of Justice, if anyone would have been involved…" I hummed in thought. "If things were different, I'd finger Aegis 0, but they're exclusively at the World Nobles' beck and call, so they'd only fit if all the prisoners pissed them off, but that's not the case…" I clapped my hands with a firm nod. "Right, this is definitely a deep rabbit hole, and I'd rather know where it leads rather than wait for something to leap out and gnaw at us. You'll keep us informed if you learn anything?"
"Of course," Tsuru nodded.
"AND MOVING RIGHT ALONG!" Soundbite piped up eagerly. "BONEMEAL! YA MENTIONED TALKING TO LUCCI! I take it that means our favourite band of unscrupulous assassins NOW WORK FOR US?"
T-Bone's mouth twisted into a self-satisfied grin. "After a fashion, yes. They contacted us two weeks after Enies Lobby, and most of them accepted the offer at the outset. Rob Lucci was a bit more difficult, but after some… persuasion on my part, he willingly swore his loyalty to us. However, the moniker of CP9 is obsolete; they now call themselves 'Jormungandr.'"
Soundbite's eye and grin both twitched slightly. "As in the Asgardian serpent of Ragnarok fabled to, what was it again… OH RIGHT! POISON THE HEAVENS?"
"They are not subtle about their opinion of us, are they?" Merry smirked.
"Actually, that name was my suggestion as their new commanding officer."
I blinked in surprise before adopting a flat expression I prayed got through to T-Bone intact. "Come again?"
"I have personally assigned the agents of Jormungandr to act as a, ah, precaution, if you will," T-Bone explained succinctly. "Should any of us or, heavens forbid, all of us wholesale, abandon our mission and turn our backs on our morals, they will see to it that we do not live to see many days past our betrayal."
"WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT!?" Bartolomeo yelped in panic.
"APAPA! I'M WITH THE HOOLIGAN, WHAT THE HELL, T-BONE!?" Apoo wailed.
"It's nothing personal, you dunces," the dilapidated Captain huffed with a weary roll of his eyes. "And in case you didn't quite grasp my meaning, they're hanging over my head too."
Tashigi's eyes widened in realization. "You… set up a Damocles Sword contingency?"
"Precisely," T-Bone nodded. "We are all influential and powerful individuals, and it would be too easy for us to abuse our power. Should that occur, I would prefer that we have someone ready to lay us low rather than allow our good memories to be sullied by our own actions. I trust you all can agree?"
Tsuru snorted rebelliously. "I would have preferred to be informed of such a decision before the blade was swinging over my neck, but, now that it is present, I see no reason to protest it."
"You're kidding, right?!" Foxy whimpered, his face sweating like a stuck pig.
"I, ah, actually get where they're coming from…" Lola rubbed the back of her neck with a wince. "I mean, look at Moria. Before Kaido killed his crew, he was a pirate like us… but then, one bad day turned him into a monster. I don't know about you, but… if I could become like him?" She shuddered heavily. "No. No, I'd rather die first."
The other Damned were silent for a bit before grumbling out their assent.
"Not like it's the first time I've had a gun to my head anyway," Barto grumbled reluctantly. "Still don't like it though."
"Look at it this way: You planning on doing anything really stupid any time soon? And you know the kind of stupid I mean," Apoo asked.
"No?"
"Then ya got nothing to worry about."
"Mrph, I suppose."
T-Bone nodded firmly. "Glad to hear it. That all being said, I assure you all that that is merely their last-resort order. In terms of current operations, well…" The grin T-Bone bore would have sent most anyone else running for the hills. "The Divine has given them an assignment we found… fitting."
"Allow me to elaborate," Tashigi offered primly.
-o-
"I'm sorry, I must have misheard you." Sengoku whipped his glasses off in order to better stare in disbelief at the World Government—not Marine—officer standing before him. "You're trying to tell me that we have lost all contact, and there is no trace of where they are or where they may be? No snail calls, no notes, no sign of forced entry or exit in their bases? Because that is what you imply when you say that they have disappeared."
It was a true testament to the quality of the World Government's training that the officer showed not even a hint of emotion as he nodded. "I am afraid so, Fleet Admiral, sir."
Sengoku tried to remain calm. He really did.
"HOW IS IT THAT NOT ONE, BUT TWO CIPHER POL UNITS HAVE DISAPPEARED?!"
But ultimately, it was a losing battle, and one that shook more than a few walls in Marine HQ.
Once his indulgence was fulfilled, however, Sengoku pinned the officer with a scathing glare. "I assume that CP1 through CP6 have already been assigned to investigate the disappearances of 7 and 8?"
"Cipher Pol 5, yes," the officer nodded in confirmation. "Cipher Pols 1 through 4, however, are maintaining their current operations, while 6 has been given other orders."
It didn't take a genius to make the leap of logic. "They're being put into hiding?"
"It was deemed prudent, yes," the officer confirmed. "Considering how they were the next to be targeted, we assume that so long as they remain untouched, CP5 will be able to investigate in peace."
Sengoku nodded in understanding at the valid precautions. Then he froze as a thought occurred to him, and slowly turned an acidic gaze back on the officer.
"Did anyone," he ground out. "Think to inspect the security of CP6's safehouse before they went to it?"
The officer's response was to stiffen and then bolt out of the room. A silent but very clear no.
"Puru puru puru puru!"
Sengoku turned towards the snail on his desk, who was already sweating and cowering in his shell in the face of his rage. Breathing hard, Sengoku picked up the receiver.
"If you are calling to report that the Cipher Pol 6 unit has disappeared, for the sake of your well-being, I suggest that you hang up now."
"…KA-LICK!"
It was a testament to how much practice Sengoku had acquired over the past few months that he actually managed to keep himself from blowing Marineford's roof off again. "Why the hell did I want this job again…?" he lamented miserably.
-o-
"MWAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh, that's just poetic justice if I've ever seen it!" Merry cackled.
"If I didn't think we were all completely insane before," Tashigi breathed reverentially, a goofy smile shared on Soundbite's face.
"When this comes to light…" Vivi slowly shook her head with a dumbstruck expression. "Th-There's just no better way to put it: They are going to lose their shit."
"That was our intention with the endeavour, yes," Captain T-Bone chuckled malevolently.
"…Have I said recently that I'm very happy that I'm on your side? Because I am very happy that I'm on your side," Foxy chuckled weakly.
"Who ya talkin' to, Foxy?" Merry leered. "Him, or us?"
"BOTH!" both the fox and the would-be cannibal roared, while the DJ settled for cackling.
"Alright, moving on from this deliciously evil plan," I said with some reluctance. "Does anyone else have any topics they'd like to bring up?"
"Actually, Cross, I have a plan in the works, too," Apoo offered. "A plan to take our rivalry to a whole new dimension!"
"A little late for that, I'm already here," I snarked, and in response to the groans, I added, "Oh, come on, how many people have even been able to make that joke? But fine, what exactly are you talking about?"
"It's simple, really."
All present turned their heads upward at the sound of flapping wings and a new voice. The reactions varied: Vivi and Lola were taken aback, Soundbite's eyes narrowed somewhat, and Merry waved warmly. "Hi, Coo!"
"Coo!?" I myself was stuck with exclaiming in shock. "What the hell are you—!?"
"We're talking about a head-to-head between the realms of audio and visual," the seagull smirked proudly, a smirk that was directed at my snail. "Long time no see… slimy-crawly."
Soundbite recoiled in shock, letting loose a bark of laughter. "AIN'T EVER GONNA BE LONG ENOUGH, FEATHER-RAT! STILL, THOUGH." He eyed the bird with an appreciative air. "Glad to see you've finally grown a spine under all the fluff."
"Heheh, what can I say?" Coo chuckled as he landed on some rubble, dipping his newsboy cap down. "I'm done being on my best behaviour. After all, what's the point when I'm about to undergo a change of profession?"
I jerked my head in shock. "Repeat that!?"
"I've reached my limit on suspense for the day. Can we get on with it?" Bartolomeo groused.
Coo's response to that was to look off to the side, his expression darkening. "How much do any of you all know about the Editor in Chief of the World Economic Journal, 'Big News' Morgan?"
I could only shrug helplessly. "Jack all, but going by your tone, I'm gonna take a wild guess and say there's nothing good to know?"
"Well, let me summarize," Coo snapped, beak doing the same. "The bastard is a pompous, overly fluffed hack of an editor who has morning tea with Charlotte 'Big Mom' Linlin, brunch with any number of World Nobles, lunch with the Marine's Propaganda and Public Relations offices, and who prefers that his dinners be any honest and good journalists, spiced with their own integrity, and sautéed and served on a spit."
"Or, to summarize," Vivi offered, looking like she smelled something foul. "He's a headline-seeking glory hound whose pockets are as wide open as the pit of Enies Lobby. Trust me, it's standard practice amongst the nobility to cross-reference every paper ten times over."
"Alright, he's an ass, we get it," Soundbite muttered.
"Undeniably," Coo nodded right back. "And as such an ass, we News Coos really have no love for him. But, our whole life, he's been our only option for employment, it's how things have always worked for as long as we live, yadda yadda yadda…" He spun his wing for a bit before grinning and pointing a feather at me. "And then you guys come along, and show us all something quite eye-opening: that the times… oh, they are a-changin'."
"So, a number of News Coos decided to look into batting for the other side of the law on the sly," Apoo picked up, his grin back in place. "And they all had the smart idea that seeing as you're already busy with your own schtick, they oughta try their luck with someone like-minded and like-skilled, but different. I.E., ME! APAPAPA!"
"You're doing pirate radio. Well, we're gonna be printing and publishing pirate papers!" Coo nodded proudly. "A journal that reports the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, no matter what anyone says or how they try to stop us! Ladies and gentlemen…" Coo spread his wings and puffed his chest out. "You're looking at the ace reporter of the brand-spankin' new publication that's going to take the world by storm: the Free Feather Report!"
There was a round of vaguely pleased muttering that prompted Coo to slump over in depression. As a result, Tashigi speaking up caught everyone's attention.
"Um… Apoo? Not that I don't love this idea, because really, having an honest newspaper—and an alternative to Cross—"
"OI!" "TRAITOR!"
"—would be fantastic, I'm assuming you've actually planned this out?" Tashigi asked.
"Of course I have!" Apoo said, a touch of offence in his tone. "I'm good at planning things for the long term!" His cocky grin remained in place for a few seconds before it faltered somewhat. "Apa… w-when I have to be, anyways… A-And besides, the News Coos themselves had most of the groundwork laid out before they came to me! They just wanted me because my ship's a great mobile base for their paper, and I'm almost as good a rabble-rouser as Cross!"
"Who, by the way, is responsible for us being so prepared in the first place?" Coo picked up with a smirk. "See, ever since the SBS got started, a lot of the world's population has been wising up to the fact that 'dumb animals' isn't a very accurate label… in both senses of the word whenever the living snot-bubble is present."
"I WILL give you a Muppet's voice, YOU LIVING DUSTER, don't think I won't."
"Any-ways," the gull continued with a roll of his wing. "Ever since you started raising global opinion of us, we Coos have been getting a lot of generous tips whenever we make our delivery, and we've been saving them up in a communal fund since a little before you burned down Enies Lobby. And considering how we're a literally global organization with a population-wide clientele, well…" The bird's grin spoke volumes.
"Holy shit… and our paychecks are worth how much again!?" Tashigi incredulously demanded.
"In light of this? Nowhere near enough," T-Bone grit out in a long-suffering tone.
"Heheheheh, yeeeaaah," Coo nodded proudly. "Couple that with the fact that most of us are completely literate after doing our jobs for so long, along with help putting together the resources thanks to the On Air Pirates and Samson's Transponder Snail Palace, and you have the beginning of an independent pirate newspaper that's gonna match the SBS in both scale and impact!"
"Over a hundred Coos are already on our side," Apoo boasted. "And at the rate things are going, not only will the first issue be ready to print and publish in a month, two at most, but when we put it out, we'll be leaving the WEJ stripped bare in the process. Like I said: get ready, 'cause this rivalry's going to the next level!"
"…Wow," was all I could get out, and weakly at that. I mean, really, what else could I say? "This is… holy wow… Nicely played, Apoo. Nicely played indeed."
"Apapapa! Gotta keep pace with you somehow! Your captain might be my opponent as a pirate, but when it comes to raising hell, it's you I butt heads with! If you think I'm gonna slack off even an inch, you've got another thing coming!"
"Heheheh!" Coo flicked his cap's brim up, feathers ruffling in pride. "I'm betting that once this picks up, even your loud-mouthed pest won't be able to keep disrespecting us!"
"FAAAAT CHAAAANCE," Soundbite drawled in a sing-song tone. "YOU'VE GRADUATED TO THE TIER ABOVE the rest of the world's feather-rats, I'll give you that. BUT THE ONLY BIRDS I'VE MET AND ACTUALLY LIKED are CARUE'S SQUAD and Terry and Isaiah."
That drew a horrified shudder from the bird. "Oh, don't even mention those two lunatics to me, I oughta peck your eyes out for giving them my name!" Coo groaned. "Ever since I stopped by Navarone, all I can hear is 'Swagger, Bear Glove, Swagger, Bear Glove.' It gives me a headache, it does~."
"And there goes any chance of you CHANGING MY—"
"After all, every News Coo knows that none are greater than the Wing and Hammer flock!"
A pause followed those words. Then, slowly, Soundbite's face split into a grin.
"Congratulations, NOW I like you," he drawled. Then he glanced at me. "SHOULDN'T YOU BE headlining right now?"
"We have established that I'm having problems remembering details," I said through gritted teeth. "Meaning I have no brain cells to spare. It is taking everything that I have not to do it. Don't push me, or I will use your shell as a convenient blunt instrument, both now and in the future."
Soundbite recoiled fearfully before adopting a scowl. "Why do you have to have an excuse that I can't argue with?" he grumbled before looking back at Coo, a curious look in his eyes. "BY THE WAY, you mentioned that YOU'RE WORKING WITH SAMSON?"
"Yeah, but he's a silent partner," Coo responded with a dismissive wave of his wing. "He's privy to the details, and he's open to providing whatever resources he can, but he doesn't want his name anywhere near it. We don't begrudge him for it."
"That's good enough," Soundbite grinned. "SEE… MY GEAR'S BEEN GIVING ME A FEW IDEAS HERE AND THERE. Specifically, in regard to my cousins…"
-o-
The most impactful meeting of the New World Masons to date went on for a while longer after that as we hammered out the finer details of the Free Feather Report, the abbreviated version of Tashigi (potentially) recruiting the new Cleaner, and the supply transference and security measures for the pirate haven, including rechristening it. From there, after gathering a status report on the new additions to our number—and between Navarone and Foxy, Lola wouldn't be short on helping hands—the meeting finally came to an end.
Our return to the party was eager, Lola to share the news with her crew, Vivi and Merry to enjoy the party, and me? Well, part of it was the party, but with our newly established bargain with the Triangle, I could start up the SBS after all. But there was one tiny detail I had to hammer out first.
"Excuse me, Cross."
I glanced at my side to see Funkfreed walking past me, snatching Soundbite from my shoulder in the process and with Lassoo on his back. Wait, what?
"We need to work something out. We'll be right back," Lassoo called as they headed into the distance. I stared dumbfoundedly for a few minutes before ultimately shrugging it off; if they didn't want to tell me, I guess it was their business.
It worked out anyway, I reflected as I walked towards the piano, where ivory bones were tickling the ivory keys. This… was something I'd rather do solo.
"Taking requests?" I asked casually as I leaned back on the piano with my elbows, my eyes never leaving the party. Or rather, never leaving the guests of honour who were located on the edge of the party, courtesy of one of the said guests forcibly keeping the other in place whenever he tried to leave.
"If you can hum it, I can try and fake it," Brook mused, wholly engrossed with his craft. "Who knows, perhaps I'll even recognize that which you wish for."
"Then in that case, how about…" I glanced over my shoulder at him. "'What I Saw on Kuma Way'?"
"Yohoho~" Brook chuckled with honest amusement, his digits never missing so much as a note. "Ahh, but of course, you'd know. I'd have joined them, you know, but with how I was pinned by the rubble—"
"No need for excuses, I don't doubt you would have jumped in if you could," I interrupted. "Just… your personal point of view?"
"Ah, well, in that case…" Brook's empty gaze grew somewhat far off as he played on automatic. "I can only imagine what it must have looked like once, but to see it again up close, and worse… and yet…" Brook followed my gaze, eyeing my fellow Mates. "They knew. They knew exactly what they were getting into, even before they took that first taste… and they did it regardless. Such bravery is only witnessed once in a generation, and yet I've seen it more times in the past day than I ever did while I still had my flesh. Truly, what a time to be alive…" His grin widened as he returned his gaze to the ivories, the music gaining a newfound uplifting tone. "And what peerless peers you have. They are both quite incredible, aren't they?"
And as I watched Nami keep Zoro in place next to her, laughing as he grabbed her cheek and stretched her grin out, all while she jabbed her finger in his side, I realized something.
"You're right," I breathed softly, pushing myself off the piano. "They are incredible. And I'm gonna make sure that I never take that for granted again."
And so I set off. First to speak with Robin and Luffy, and then to go and get what I needed, so that I could do what I needed—needed—to do.
Because after everything those two had done for me, both now and in the past, how could I not return the favour?
-o-
A fair distance into the deep forest of Thriller Bark, far from any prying ears, Cross's three amigos exchanged looks with each other. It was hard to tell what they were thinking, but it was plain to see that they were not, by any stretch of the word, training. And were anyone familiar with them in hearing range, they would immediately know that they were intent on nobody overhearing them. After all, for the first time in months, they were not speaking the human tongue.
[So, what's the deal with this secret meeting?] Lassoo asked cautiously.
[And with you actually lowering yourself to our level to ask me to swipe you without anyone noticing?] Funkfreed concurred, before wincing and scratching the back of his head sheepishly. [Ah, no offence, of course, it's just that I've never actually heard you speak normally before, so—!]
[Desperate—gugh, hold on.] Soundbite shook his head, wincing. [Sorry, hard to turn it off. Anyway, desperate times, desperate measures. I…] The snail's expression crumbled sorrowfully. [I… can't risk someone overhearing this, but if I have to keep it to myself, I'll freaking pop my shell…]
The two half-animals shared knowing glances.
[You didn't tell them everything,] Funkfreed deduced.
[And it's not light, either,] Lassoo chuffed, settling in for a long talk.
Soundbite nodded solemnly. [Don't get me wrong, Cross is… well, you both know what I mean, of course—]
The Zoans exchanged looks again, but this time they were shocked.
[—but… sometimes…] the Noise-snail trailed off, his gaze stretching off for miles. [Sometimes, there's just some shit you can't say to anyone…] He snapped a warning glare up at them. [EVER.]
The animal-weapons raised what limbs they could in surrender, a no small amount of fear in their movements as the air around them suddenly buzzed.
Soundbite let the threat hang in the air before slumping in defeat. [Because if he ever heard this… I'm almost positive that it would destroy him.]
~o~
And so the two started walking into the woods…
"HOLD IT!"
Before a full-blown medley of their crew roared out in perfect synch. A kind of synch that could only be achieved by—!
"Soundbite!?" they blurted out, spinning around to catch sight of the omnivocal snail perched on a stray chunk of rubble.
"YEAH, me!" he spat, panting heavily from the exertion of crawling from wherever he'd landed. "IN CASE YOU DIDN'T GET THE MEMO, YOU CAN'T KEEP A slimy bastard down!"
"Will you be putting your life on the line as well, 'Voice of Anarchy' Soundbite?" Kuma asked.
"NO!" Zoro barked at Kuma and Soundbite both.
"Soundbite, you can't! If you even brushed that stuff—!" Nami started to plead.
"How stupid do you think I am?!" Soundbite snarled indignantly. "ACTUALLY, DON'T ANSWER THAT. The point is, I know that that shit would kill me. IT'S ALREADY GOING TO DO A NUMBER ON YOU two… AND I WANT TO BE THERE WHEN IT DOES. I want to make a difference, however I can… for once in my life…"
Nami blinked in shock, her expression slowly shifting to pity. "Soundbite…"
"I COULDN'T DO SHIT TO ENERU, ONLY JUST MANAGED TO STOP THE WHITE FEATHER-RAT, and there's jack-all I can do for him now," Soundbite listed off in a dead tone. Then, he slowly lifted his eyestalks and gazed at her in tears. "Don't… don't take this from me… please…"
While Zoro and Kuma stared back at the snail with vaguely pitying dead-eyed expressions, Nami shuffled over to him and picked him up. Wordlessly, she carried him back towards Kuma and Zoro, who were already moving alongside the spheres of pain.
They moved in silence, most of their strength focused on getting their legs to move, and eventually came to an area that had already been mostly flattened from the war against Moria. Zoro stopped, and Kuma positioned the ball of Luffy's pain before him and the one of Cross's alongside it.
Nami hung back, using her Eisen clouds to place Soundbite on a branch within the view of the action, but far off the ground. Then she discarded the majority of her staff, the clouds retreating inside, as she moved back to face her fate with a benign tube of metal clutched in a death grip. Kuma regarded them both for a moment.
"…You would truly sacrifice your dreams for their lives?" he asked at last.
"…We're Straw Hats. Any of us would sacrifice our dreams for the rest of us without a second thought if that was what it took…" Nami picked up, hesitating for a bare moment. Then her resolve crystallized.
"But it's not just that. All of us have dreams of changing the world; Chopper's going to invent a true Panacea, Robin's going to uncover the Void Century, Vivi's going to become queen of an entire kingdom! And sure, we're making an impact…" She shook her head. "But Cross is doing so much more. He's doing the impossible, taking a crowbar to a monolith that's been crushing us all for centuries. He's started something incredible… and I can't, in good conscience, let it end here. Too many people depend on him; there's too much weight in his words. He just… he can't die now. So…"
Nami's mouth slowly lifted into a serene smile. "If the price to pay for him to follow his dream is my atlas, a dream that someone else can and will pick up, and can and will accomplish? Well…" she chuckled self-deprecatingly as she scratched the back of her head with a projected air of nonchalance. "You know how much of a miser I am, right? No way in hell I'd pass up that kinda bargain!"
"As for me," Zoro said, a smirk on his face that was somehow bestial as well as peaceful. "Kuina may be pissed at me… but I made my decision long ago. The World's Greatest Swordsman has already sworn his life to the King of the Pirates."
"Ehhh?" Nami glanced at him with a catty expression. "Is that so? That's not how I remember it. Didn't you once tell me that you swore, and I'm paraphrasing here, that you'd always follow your own ambitions first, and that if Luffy ever got in your way, he'd have to, oh what was it again… oh right, end his life on your sword?"
Zoro smirked right back at her. "Have you forgotten, witch? I'm the big bad drunken oni. Who knows what crazy shit I say, right?"
Nami chuckled lightheartedly as she looked back at the ball of agony, newfound life injected into her smile. "A witch and an oni, sacrificing themselves for the King of the Pirates and the Voice of Anarchy…" Her smile twitched ever so slightly. "It's almost like a bad joke…"
"You can take out the 'almost,'" Zoro growled as he double-tied his bandanna around his skull. "After all… we both know that the punchline is going to suck."
And so, the Pirate Hunter strode into his captain's suffering, and the Weather Witch followed him into her own ordeal barely a second after.
What followed next will not be described, for the sake of all reading, due to the universally horrific nature of the event.
And yet, for all that what transpired was horrific, for all that it was gruesome and terrifying in every possible regard, it did not leave so much as a trace of an impression upon 'The Tyrant' Bartholomew Kuma.
"Did they know that such banter would comfort them…" the hyper-advanced cyborg mused. "Or was it sheer happenstance? And were they attracted to him because he was a D.… or was such confidence inspired because he's your son…?" He remained silent for a moment before sighing and shaking his head slightly. "In the end, it is not so much the 'how' that matters as what comes of it. The only true question that remains is how far he will be able to continue at his current level."
And with that, he fell silent and continued his vigil.