Meanwhile, Largo proudly jutted his chin out as he looked down on his opposition. "I expected more from the infamous Straw Hat Pirates," the captain sighed lazily, sparing Cross only the barest of glances. "I come ashore expecting the fight of my life, and I find that the only one who's even going to put up a fight is some spineless smartass of a pendejo who only got his bounty for talking."
The Amigo's captain swept his arm out to indicate his men, his face never losing its condescending expression. "You do realize that we are not playing around, sí? These aren't your usual fun and games, hombre. You, Straw Hats, you might play at being pirates… But we are the artículo genuino. We are actually going to kill you, in cold blood."
Cross couldn't help but scoff derisively at that. "Men both better and worse than you in every way have been trying and failing to do just that for almost a year. And with more men, too. But hey, if you insist…" With that, he tucked one arm behind his back and raised the other with his palm up, tweaking his fingers towards himself. "Come test your luck."
Largo snorted, raising his hand and snapping his fingers. "Men. Kill this gusano."
As one, the Amigo pirates roared and charged the lone man and his weapons, rattling their sabres and muskets like noisemakers. Cross, for his part, just stood there, even when the musket-wielding mariachis brought their weapons down and fired from the hip.
After all, not only was firing from the hip a decidedly inaccurate endeavour, but Cross only needed a second to draw his sword from his side, and Funkfreed only needed half a second to shift into his hybrid form and encircle his wielder, deflecting the few on-the-mark slugs.
"Pachy-Shield!" Cross called out as Funkfreed unwound and hovered at his side, grinning proudly. "Neat, no?"
"Coward!" one of the pirates shouted. "Put down your Devil Fruit weapons and face us like a man!"
For a moment, there was silence. And then… and then Funkfreed returned to his natural form, and Cross smiled the smile that toppled governments. "Sure," he said, before planting Funkfreed blade-first into the ground and tossing Lassoo, who was in his gun-form, at one of the Amigos charging him. Said Amigo reflexively caught the cannon—and was promptly thrown backwards and into his comrades by the gun's weight.
That brought the pirates up short, their charge screeching to a halt as they all stared at their groaning comrades pinned under the gun-dog.
"Hey! Idiotas!" Corto barked. "The hell are you doing? He's right there!"
Their first mate's shout brought them out of their paralysis and almost got them charging Cross again, except that the blonde caused them all to freeze again by strolling up to one of the Amigos—one who outweighed him two-to-one—and grabbing him by the throat.
"See, a funny thing happened while I've been wielding Lassoo. You know, my dog-cannon?" Cross stated conversationally, even as the Amigo he was holding by the throat gurgled and scrabbled ineffectually at Cross' armored fingers. And that scrabbling only intensified as he was slowly lifted off his feet by Cross's single, apparently scrawny arm. "As you'll all recall, he's a living weapon. This is important because, as it would so happen, as time has passed on our journey, he's gotten heavier. I'd say he's even heavier now than he was when he was serving Baroque Works, let alone after we lightened him."
The gun-dog in question promptly snapped into his hybrid form, teeth gnashing. "YOU ARE CALLING ME FAT!" he bellowed indignantly, all while ignoring the pirate he was still crushing with his mass.
"DO WE REALLY GOTTA DO THIS NOW?!" Soundbite snapped, as much amused as he was annoyed.
"The point being, I've been wielding two tons of gun-dog exactly like I wielded a half-ton. Or, in layman's terms… I might not have realized it until now, but over time? I've. Gotten. Stronger." Cross's grin turned positively feral at the sudden looks of fear that it produced. "So, yeah. I'm not what my crew would call 'Monster Trio' material, by any means, but I'm strong enough to swing around a literal two-ton cannon like it's nothing. And that means… I'm more than strong enough to take care of you mooks." He cracked his neck side to side. "Sucks for you, don't it?"
"Will someone just kill him already!" Corto belted out in a tone that was a decibel short of a scream.
That was the cue for the Amigos to shake their paralysis and charge the Straw Hat. Considering they surrounded him on three sides, the conclusion should've been a no-brainer.
Unfortunately, they failed to consider that Lassoo and Funkfreed were their own thinking beings. Hence, nobody saw it coming when Funkfreed joined his fellow weapon in adopting his hybrid form and the pair plowed into the rear of the crowd, sending Amigos aflight and the front crowd around Cross, looking over their shoulders instead of at their opponent.
The smiling man in question eagerly took advantage of that fact by throwing the poor bastard still held in his hand hard enough to bowl over a good third of the crowd he hit, the front line collapsing in an unconscious heap, and the rear struggling to rise. Almost immediately after, Cross whirled around and planted his fist square in the nose of the Amigo behind him, cartilage crumpling under the metal and the pirate also flying into and bowling over his comrades. That left just one cluster of Amigos left, both standing and undistracted by rampaging Zoan weapons.
To their credit, they immediately tried to close to melee range. Key word being "tried", because Cross immediately counter-charged them. The first Amigo took an armoured elbow to the noggin and dropped like he was made of wet cardboard. The next took an uppercut to the gut. The third took Cross's shin between his legs.
And so it went, until that group of Amigos was no more than a carpet of groaning carcasses. Cross took the moment of calm to catch his breath, which was coming in ragged gasps.
"DODGE! Blade, top-down."
Spinning, Cross brought his arm up in time to catch a sword on his gauntlet, and followed it with the toe of his armoured boot, meeting his opponent's chin. That also gave him a good look at Funkfreed and Lassoo chasing the remaining Amigos still on his feet right at him. The ones in front had looks of hope, as if they thought that Cross would be easier to beat than the elephant and dog at their heels.
Morons.
The Straw Hat merely grinned wider and raised his fists before pausing and looking down.
"You know what?" he mused as he crouched down and grabbed one of the unconscious Amigos by his ankle. "I'm going to try something. Something I never thought I'd get to do but that I've always wanted to." And with that, he hefted the unconscious Amigo and charged again.
Unfortunately, limp bodies, as it turned out, didn't make very good bludgeoning weapons. After the third Amigo took three hits and several steps back to put down (not to mention nearly got Cross-brained three times by flailing limbs), Cross mentally shrugged and tossed a body at his opponents for the second time that day. Much like the first time, it succeeded in knocking over the front lines, at which point the people running up behind them tripped over their downed comrades and wound up piling into a spectacular traffic jam.
And that wasn't the worst of it. Cross winced in sympathy as Lassoo and Funkfreed eagerly joined in on the scrum. "Okay, now I feel a little sorry for them," he said.
He then turned to eye the Amigo's Captain and First Mate, both of whom were watching the scene with poorly disguised disgust and fear, respectively. "Though whether that's because they're all pathetic or because they have exceedingly poor leadership, that remains up for debate."
"You're going to pay for that, gringo."
Both partners glanced at the tall captain indifferently, who, judging from the deathly calm expression on his face and the way he was strangling his guitar's neck, had bypassed the "steaming rage" stage entirely.
"Is he talking about his bad leadership, or me beating up all his men?" Cross muttered.
"Does it matter?" Soundbite shot back. "LET'S JUST KICK THIS INTO high gear." His eyestalks shifted back up to Corto, and the snail ostentatiously cleared his throat. "YOU DIPSHITS CALL THAT AN INSULT!? THIS is an insult! ¡Tu padre era un chupacabra y tu madre era su merienda de medianoche!"
Lassoo promptly collapsed into a fit of giggles, crushing the last few conscious Amigos. "HWEEHWEEHWEEHWEEHWEE!"
"NOBODY SAYS THAT ABOUT MY MOTHER!" the large first mate bellowed, and before Largo could say anything to stop him, the luchador charged the tactician.
Cross immediately sobered up and blew out a sharp whistle. In response, Funkfreed and Lassoo abandoned their mauling and leapt at their partner, shifting into their weapon forms mid-flight so that Cross could catch them and brandish them against his opponent.
If Soundbite's intent in insulting Corto was to make the first mate forgo his Gatling guns in a blind rage, it worked perfectly. Instead, the man first tried to bash Cross's skull in with one of the guns, and when the Straw Hat fluidly leaned away from the blow, Corto tossed one of them aside, massive swinging cannon strikes mixed in with surprisingly fluid jabs.
This worked only somewhat better because while Corto had power in spades, rage had badly deteriorated his form, and he was nowhere near as nimble as Cross to begin with. The Straw Hat made sure to stay in the gun's arcs rather than face the jabs, and after the first two gun swings sailed wide, Cross slipped under one of his opponent's thick arms and spun Lassoo's butt into Corto's side.
Insulating fat and a thick, padded shirt under the poncho mitigated the impact, but it was more Cross's one-handed grip on the dog-gun and a lack of proper momentum that kept Corto from outright having the wind knocked out of him. As it was, the blow merely rattled his whole body. Teeth grinding, Corto wrapped his right arm around Lassoo and brought the gun in his left hand down on Cross's skull. Funkfreed promptly met it on the flat, the elephant-sword hastily flipped into a reverse grip.
Stalemate.
Well, for two seconds before Cross introduced his knee to Corto's gut. This time, the padding wasn't enough; too much force was concentrated at a single point just above the man's diaphragm. Corto's breath whooshed out of him, and he slumped over, arms slackening. Miracle of miracles, he stayed standing. He was just getting his breath back when he felt a cannon muzzle ram into his back.
"Lemme introduce you to the latest tool in my mutt's arsenal. Cani-Blank!" he heard Cross intone. There was a click of a trigger—!
And nothing happened.
Nobody spoke. Nobody moved. The only sound was a gull flying overhead, cawing for food. Only when the gull was gone did anyone move, and Cross, pulling his index finger against the trigger again, only barely qualified as 'movement'.
Once again, there was a click, but nothing came out of the big gun's muzzle. Cross, his face utterly devoid of emotion, simply clicked again. And then again.
By now, Corto had his breath back, and he clenched his fists. 'I've got you now.' He tensed, and all of a sudden he spun around, shoving his now-spinning gun's barrel into his opponent's face—!
"Time out!"
And could only freeze in dumbfounded shock. The opponent had his hands in a T-shape and an expression of total seriousness. Then, while Corto was still frozen, he turned and held out his dog-gun, and all of a sudden, Usopp was at his side, with Merry hanging on his back.
In less than a second, the pair had a panel open in the cannon's side and were fussing over the mechanical innards, arguing and fiddling about in hushed tones and tossing out more than a few rude gestures, before finally the ship-girl just slammed the panel shut and gave the cannon a harsh rap. Somehow, that, of all things, served to satisfy the pair, and Usopp gave Cross a thumbs-up before zipping away again.
Cross nodded in satisfaction, then smiled at Corto in a manner most unkind. "Time-in!" he chirped, before jerking forward, jamming Lassoo's muzzle into Corto's gut and pulling the trigger.
FWOOM!
"GUH!" Corto let out a whoof of pain. He was blasted off his feet and could only groan in pain once his back slammed into the ground. He blinked blearily at the sky. "What the hell just hit me…?"
"Apparently, a cannon shell of air."
Corto choked on his tongue as the last face he wanted to see at the moment loomed over him. "A-Ah, is that—?"
"Why the hell did you give him time to do whatever he wanted, idiot?" Largo questioned in a tone that was both harsh and flat.
"A-Ahhh…" Corto's mind flatlined as he tried to come up with a response, and the only thing he could respond with was, "…Straw Hat bullshit?"
"…hurry up and kill this cabrón and maybe I'll let you get away with that pathetic excuse."
Hastily nodding, Corto noted that he'd landed next to his other Gatling gun. It was a mistake he would gleefully take advantage of.
"Alright, pendejo," he declared as he picked up himself and his other gun. "Now we—"
"CANI-BLAST!"
"Yow!" Corto yelped as he dove away from the pillar of flame that nearly cooked him. And not medium rare, either. Turning that tumble into a roll, he sprang up and pulled the triggers on his guns. After a brief few milliseconds to warm up, bullets flew out of ten barrels of death.
Ten barrels of death that did absolutely nothing against Funkfreed's Pachy-Shield. Nor the cannon muzzle that poked out of the snake-like folds.
But this time Corto was fighting smart, and he'd already been moving even as he'd opened fire. Flames and blasts and the tremendous recoil of his weapons buffeted him, but he continued to stay one step ahead of the explosive shells that lashed out. Unfortunately for the luchador, however, he couldn't keep firing forever on account of the sudden searing against his knuckles.
The luchador snapped his barrage off with a hissed "¡Mierda!" There was only one thing to do: stop firing and let his gun's glowing barrels cool before they set off the ammo or melted. And that had been exactly what Cross was waiting for.
All of a sudden, Funkfreed's serpentine coils vanished, and Cross had drawn back his arm, the elephant-sword's tip pointed right at him.
"Pachy-Charge!" the Straw Hat declared, and Corto almost wet himself at the sight of a dozen tons of bladed elephant shooting at him at breakneck speeds.
Still, no one could say the man lacked courage. The luchador held his ground as the massive blade shot towards, and then, at the last possible second, he slid out of the way.
'Now's my chance!'
This was, indeed, Corto's chance. His only chance. The Pachy-Charge pulled back as fast as it shot out, and while Corto didn't know how long that was, he was gambling that it'd be enough to get close before his opponent could reform the Pachy-Shield. So he ran. He ran as he'd never run before. Faster even than when his grandmother had made her famous tamales for the neighbourhood kids, and he had to run there before she ran out. And…
He made it. Cross had just pulled Funkfreed back into sword form when Corto skidded to a halt in front of the Straw Hat, guns aimed. The luchador had to frantically bat away an explosive baseball, but one of the guns was still aimed. It would have to be enough. Corto pulled the trigger, the guns spun up—!
And then, with a loud, ominous grinding sound, it came to a halt, and stayed halted no matter how many times he pulled the trigger. Which was many times. Glaring at his own gun, Corto demanded, "Are you fucking with me?!"
"Somebody is!"
Before Corto could react, hands grabbed the collar of his poncho, and then his head was pulled in for a meeting with Cross' skull. Oooor at least, a meeting with the iron plate in Cross's hat.
THWACK!
Everyone watching, even Largo, winced as the two fighters staggered back. Corto was clutching his nose, blood flowing freely between his fingers. Cross looked mildly dazed, but otherwise was in far better shape.
"I have several questions," Yoko stated flatly during this short lull. "Where's the fat bastard getting all that ammo?! And how did his gun just… jam like that?! People aren't that lucky!"
"I'm not really an expert on combat…" Fabre demurred.
"I dunno," Luffy shrugged.
"Estoy rodeado de idiotas," Largo growled, grinding his palm into his forehead before raising his voice. "Corto, if that bastardo isn't dead in the next minute, Lo juro por Dios—!"
"¡Quítate de encima, hijo de un—!" Corto growled under his breath, shaking his head to clear away the latent dizziness. Once that was done, he pinned Cross with a furious glare. "Alright, you pequeño bastardo, let's—!"
"Hey, I know how to end this!"
He was cut off by Cross, who suddenly laughed in amusement, and he and everyone present watched, puzzled, as Cross tossed his weapon-partners aside and took off his jacket, waving it to his side. That puzzlement lasted as long as it took for Cross to open his mouth.
"Toro, to—! Oh, no, wait, my apologies!" Cross slapped a hand to his face with almost honest regret before resuming the motion, his grin positively shit-eating. "Allow me to be more appropriate: fatso, fatso!"
Corto straight-up saw red. "THIS IS ALL MUSCLE, YOU BASTARD!" he howled, stomping his foot for emphasis.
Cross lowered his head, letting the shadow of his cap emphasize the smirk he was wearing. "Prove it, meathead."
And that was all he could take. Pawing at the ground and snorting like the bull he wasn't supposed to be, Corto charged straight at Cross, bellowing in inarticulate rage. Cross, for his part, neatly sidestepped the charging luchador, jacket flapping as Corto passed through it.
"Olé!" Cross proclaimed, the pronouncement ratcheting Corto's fury up another notch.
Seeing as the first charge hadn't worked, the natural response was to wheel around and charge again. Equally natural was Cross sidestepping Corto again.
"Olé!" And that was another roar.
And, of course, that simply meant Corto began gearing up for a third charge.
Largo was just about to tell his absolute imbecile of a brother to take this seriously when he noticed that Cross wasn't tensing up to dodge again. Fabre and Yoko missed this, but Luffy also spotted the change, and his grin widened even more as he leaned forward.
Corto, of course, was way too far gone to notice anything of the sort. All he noticed was that that damn thing wasn't moving. Good. Now he could trample it underfoot and finally end its bleating—
Was that a snail in front of his face?
SPLAT!
The luchador stumbled in shock when the ball of slime slammed into the middle of his face, and before he could truly set about wiping it off?
"OLÉ, BIOTCH!"
And Corto's whole world became pain.
"The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round…" he gurgled through a mouthful of bloody foam, all his brain was capable of as it tried to cope with a fair amount of his skeleton fracturing at once.
The issue was only compounded when, after retrieving Soundbite from his face, Cross planted his boot on Corto's chest with a cry of victory, shaking his clasped hands in the air in a self-congratulatory manner. "And the crowd! Goes! Wild! Raaah, raaah!"
"And that's another stunning victory for Jeremiah Cross and Soundbite of the Straw Hat Pirates!" Soundbite proclaimed in a grandiose tone. "Tell me, son, anything you wanna say to your ADORING MASSES?"
"Well, for starters, I'd like to thank the Academy, as well as offer them my most sincere apologies. I did not mean to ram that antique car into the side of the building; I was aiming for the Dairy Queen next door! Furthermore—!"
Thnk.
"Ghgrk…" Cross trailed off into a gurgle, his eye twitching frantically. "S-Son… of a…"
"CROSS!" Soundbite yelped.
Luffy perked his head up in concern. "Cross, are you alright?"
"Uh… aheh… that's, uh… that's up for debate…" Cross grimaced weakly as he stumbled back from Corto, actively working to keep his feet under himself. "How, uh… how bad does this look to you guys?"
And with that, he turned around. Perfect way to show off the dagger lodged in his back.
"Ooooh, yeah, that'll hurt," Luffy winced sympathetically.
"Son of a—!" Fabre gasped.
And Yoko… Yoko shocked herself when she jerked forward and screamed out a panicked "CROSS!"
"What, not 'pirate bastard!'?" Cross chuckled. "Hear that, Soundbite? We're making progress!"
"You realize that you're a special kind of TWISTED, right!?" Soundbite frantically demanded.
"Hmph."
Soundbite winced at the sound of a derisive snort before turning his eyestalks to glare bloody murder over his friend's shoulder. "AND THEN THERE'S YOU, WHO REDEFINES THE FUCKING WORD!"
"Cállate, bichos," Largo stated indifferently, another dagger twirling in his fingers. "In the end, your owner's loud mouth was truly the only formidable weapon he had. One knife thrown into his back, and it's already over; I think I'll enjoy living like a king once I turn his head in for a bounty. But for now…" He leered viciously at the onlooking civilians. "I'll settle for taking that damn beetle."
And with that, the Amigo's captain stepped forward, intent on claiming his prize.
"Pfff… are you… kidding me…"
And froze when Cross suddenly started to chuckle. The tall man shot a glare at the world-infamous loudmouth. "You're still not done?!"
Cross ignored him in favour of continuing to laugh, chuckle, escalating to a full-on cackle. Moreover, his footing had stabilized. "Pfff… PffhahaHAHAHA! Are you… kidding me?" The Straw Hat smiled malevolently at the enemy captain. "You absolute idiot. Buddy, I ate several million volts of lightning because I wouldn't stop verbally defending my personal beliefs!"
Cross then spread his arms wide. "So when I'm standing here… defending a village of innocent civilians, kind and generous people who welcomed us with open arms, from raging bastards like you and your brother, what the hell…" There was a furious scowl on Cross's face as he reached over his shoulder and grasped the handle of the dagger in his back. "MAKES YOU THINK THAT A LITTLE PIECE OF METAL IS GONNA MAKE ME EVEN FLINCH!?" And with the final word, Cross tore the dagger from his back with a somewhat impressive spray of blood and tossed it away. He then pinned Largo with a furious glare. "What else you got?"
"Cabron!" Largo cussed, scowling at Cross in open outrage.
"YOU'RE NO RAY OF SUNSHINE EITHER, JACKASS!" Soundbite snarled.
"And a liiiitle bit overenthusiastic to boot," Lassoo scoffed, rubbing one of his toes under his nose.
"Yeah, one tiny dagger?" Funkfreed chimed in. "If it were something me-sized, I'd be worried… but it wasn't, so I'm not."
"Shishishi! Kick his ass, Cross!" Luffy cheered from the sidelines.
"Forget kicking his ass!" Fabre roared, jabbing his pipe at the pirate. "Shove your boot so far up there that he's choking on the leather!"
Yoko only hesitated a bare second before Girl! Yoko slammed Marine and Justice's skulls together and joined in. "Get these pirates offa our island!" she shouted, shooting her fists in the air.
Sighing at the enthusiastic cheers, Largo stepped over to the prone form of his brother and leaned over him, his back obscuring whatever it was he was doing. To the shock of the onlookers, Corto shot up with a nasal yelp, a hand clamped over his neck.
"What the hell—?" Cross breathed in shock while Corto began cursing up a storm.
"Mierda, eso duele como un—GAH!"
Said cursing quickly devolved into a strangled yelp when he noticed his brother glaring down at him.
"That," Largo scowled. "Was patético. And I'm already going to kick your ass once we're done here. Help me kill these shits, and maybe you'll be able to walk again in a week, rather than a month."
"Sí, señor…" Corto wheezed, shakily pushing himself to his feet. And in a further surprise to the onlookers, in little to no time at all, he managed to steady his footing. Still, the luchador looked to be in bad shape.
Cross, meanwhile, hastily shook off his surprise in favour of rebrandishing his partners and shifting back into a combat stance, heedless of the blood dripping down his back. For a second, no one moved. And then Corto silently charged Cross, Gatling guns brandished but not firing.
"Really?" Cross sighed. "I'd cite the definition of insanity, but…" Ducking under a wild swing, Cross planted Funkfreed and used the sword as a platform to swing around and plant his foot in Corto's gut. Apparently, though, the luchador was expecting that, because he didn't get the wind knocked out of him, and instead aimed one of his guns at Cross.
"Shit!" Cross bit out. He tried to counter whatever was coming, he really did, but his earlier kick left him half-sprawled on the ground with one hand occupied using Funkfreed to hold himself up. The best he could do was put Lassoo between himself and some of the gun barrels.
But what came out of one of the barrels was not a bullet.
KA-BOOM!
Instead, it was some sort of explosion, with flames and smoke engulfing the combatants.
"Cross!" Yoko and Fabre shouted. Luffy said nothing, but his fingers dug into the skin of his arms.
Then Corto staggered out, scorched and covered in soot, and Cross tumbled out the other way, coughing and burned himself, but more stunned than injured. The audience breathed sighs of relief. Relief that was short-lived as Largo suddenly began ostentatiously clearing his throat. To the disgust of the onlookers, Largo then spat out a glob of saliva and mucus… that suddenly bloomed into a wide net that lofted up to envelop Cross.
"Devil Fruit!" Fabre hissed.
Cross, thankfully, saw it coming, giving him a chance to—stand up and punch the net? The confusion only intensified when the net suddenly… unravelled, for lack of a better word, into a glob of snot that landed on his coat and covered his gauntlet.
"That," Cross blandly stated as he waved the mucus off. "Is disgusting."
"¡¿Qué diablos?!" Largo spat, his face set in a murderous scowl. "How the hell did you do that!?"
The tactician adopted a smirk as he held his fist up and flipped his middle finger at Largo, flashing his armour's off-colour knuckles in the process. "We've run into Devil Fruit users on pretty much literally every island we've hit since we entered the Grand Line! Did you really think we wouldn't wise up and grab some sea prism stone!?"
"Very well," Largo growled. "Then we'll just have to make sure you can't use it! Corto!"
"On it, hermano!" Corto replied, firing another explosive shell at Cross. This was met by one of Lassoo's own explosives, resulting in another, larger blast.
The two settled into a brief exchange of artillery, one that Corto came off the worse for. Lassoo simply had a greater rate of fire with his baseballs than Corto's banged-up Gatlings, and the luchador was soon driven back lest he get blown up again.
Worse, the exchange didn't distract Cross as much as he'd hoped; while Lassoo managed his own aiming, for the most part, Cross kept Largo in his peripheral vision, and so when the captain upended a can of oil in his mouth and tossed a match in, the Straw Hat was ready. A net made of fire flashed out… and splashed harmlessly against Funkfreed's ballistic steel hide.
"Y'all realize you're just using a knock-off of the Munch-Munch Fruit, RIGHT?!" Soundbite chortled tauntingly.
"And you realize that you can't keep this up forever, así?" Largo shot back. "Sooner or later—!"
"I'll have to go on the offensive or lose stamina and slip up and die, yes, yes," Cross dismissively replied. "You want offence?" He grinned malevolently as he held both his cannon and blade at the ready, Lassoo baring his fangs and Funkfreed rearing up to his full height. "Here's some offence: Pachy-Cani Combo: Superhot Hell Riot!"
Fire and water blasted out of Lassoo's maw and Funkfreed's trunk, respectively, meeting at a somewhat equidistant point between the three combatants. Upon contact, the water reacted as it usually did when sprayed on a fire that hot: it immediately vaporized in a massive, spreading cloud of steam.
A cloud of steam that Cross ran headlong into.
"Come and get me!" his disembodied voice jeered. The said jeer was followed up by a barrage of explosives and a ballistic elephant-blade that withdrew as swiftly as it shot out. "Or I'll just take you down from here!"
Grinding his teeth, Largo shouted into the mist, "Find him, hermano! I don't care how, but find him!"
"Already on it!"
'Already on it', in this case, meant that Corto had run into the haze with absolute recklessness and was blindly swinging his Gatlings through the mist. Not a smart way to search, but in fairness to the man, whatever Largo had done to him couldn't completely erase the concussion he'd sustained, and did absolutely nothing for the 200% strength rage coursing through his veins.
After a few exhausting minutes, Corto slumped over, panting, and felt someone tall and skinny press against his back.
"Ah, hermano, good," he panted. "Just you wait, I'll find him, and when I do—!"
"Well, in that case, congrats! You found me!"
Nearly shrieking in surprise, Corto jumped up and spun around, Gatling swinging around with him. It struck, right in Cross's palm, and when he tried to move the weapon, he found he couldn't. "You little—!"
"Hold that thought," Cross's voice leered before he cleared his throat and started speaking again… in Corto's voice. "Hermano, I found him! Get him!"
Corto paled in realization, but before he could react, a grid of dark lines became visible through the mist—
SNKT! "AAAAAARGH!"
And the luchador howled in agony as a net of piano wire sliced into his body.
"What the—!?" Largo's voice called out in confusion.
"IDIOTA!" Corto roared, his pain fuelling his indignant rage to unparalleled heights. "YOU HAVE THE GALL TO CALL ME AN IMBÉCIL!? WHO'S THE RETARDAR THAT USED HIS EARS AGAINST THE FUCKING 'GOD OF NOISE', EH!?"
"But wait, there's more!"
Corto spun towards the source of the voice, intent on inflicting pain, and then he paled as he realized that all that was visible through the fog was Cross's arm and two glowing dots where his eyes would be.
"Ay caramba…" the luchador whimpered, right before Cross brought Lassoo down on his head with as much force and momentum as he could muster.
CRUNCH!
And that was all the luchador could take, collapsing back into the sweet embrace of oblivion.
"And then there was one," Cross's voice wafted out of the murk, practically looming over Largo.
Largo immediately spat out another net, this one green and studded with both sharp thorns and red flowers. Unfortunately, another combined gout of water and fire lashed out, incinerating the net and enveloping more real estate in obscuring steam. By now, Largo's confidence and anger alike had vanished, his head on a swivel as he tried to catch a glimpse of something, anything.
"Do you even realize how screwed you are?"
Largo lashed his arm out at the voice that sneered behind him, but all that accomplished was to disturb some of the steam.
"I see right through you, Captain Largo of the Amigo Pirates. Corto's not used to having to fight someone who can fight back, but you?" That voice chuckled disdainfully. "Oh, you're not used to fighting at all."
The tall captain muttered out curse after curse as he tore his gun out of its holster and fired one, two, three blind shots into the mist—
CLANG!
—before crying out in pain and shock when the gun was suddenly smacked out of his hand.
"You're not a bully, you're an armchair commander. A commissar. You sit back and relax while everyone does your bidding, and if things ever get out of hand, you just stand up, flash your powers, and smack down whoever's in your way, and all goes right back to normal. Well, guess what, hombre?"
Desperation ruling his mind, no matter how much he tried to deny it, Largo lashed out with a reckless punch. He then hissed in pain and panic when his fist was suddenly crushed in a grip of metal, and he felt a significant portion of his stamina just vanish.
Cross loomed out of the swiftly fading mist, glaring viciously at the bandito. "Today," he announced. "The only one getting smacked is you. And you're not gonna get back up from it either."
Largo tried to wrench his fist free, but it was an exercise in futility. Still, he found the courage somewhere to sneer in Cross's face. "You think a rinky-dink punch from you will do anything to me? I train with Corto! I might be thin, but I've got a body of steel!"
"Good for you," Cross snarked, before grinning as he reeled his right arm back, his fingers splayed and palm on display. "But how do you think you'll handle the force of a punch from Corto…" Cross's grin became downright sadistic. "Combined with every single time I've punched my fist into my palm, full-strength, over the last few hours?"
The blood shot straight out of Largo's face.
"I gave you one chance to walk away. You should have taken it." And with that final line, Cross slammed his palm into Largo's gut. "IMPACT!"
BWONG!
In a final blast of pure force, Largo was blown clean off his feet, flying almost halfway across the field before he was lodged through a tree down to his waist.
Cross scoffed as he adjusted the brim of his cap. "Tsk tsk… say, if you ever come after us again, do me a favour." He flipped the brim up with his thumb, unveiling a cocky smirk.
"Try and give me an actual challenge."
That final line was punctuated by the tree giving out the ghost and collapsing completely, giving Largo a final thump on the head on the way down.
And with that, Cross allowed himself to relax, his body un-tensing and one hand flashing to the bleeding wound in his back. It didn't seem to be life-threatening or anything; it just hurt without the adrenaline rush, and all his movement hadn't done his torn muscles any favours either.
"YOU OKAY?"
He flashed his partner a somewhat weak smile. "Not batting at a hundred, but I don't think I'm going to keel over anytime soon."
A moment's silence, and…
"MEH," Soundbite shrugged inasmuch as he could. "I'll take it."
"Hey, what about me?" Lassoo whined. "I took that bomb point-blank! I've suffered way more than you!"
"Yeah, if you call scorch marks and burned fur suffering…" Funkfreed muttered under his breath.
Straightening somewhat, Cross chuckled and began to walk back over to his audience, the slight hitch in his walk almost unnoticeable.
Luffy met him with a proud grin, punctuated by a finger scratching under his nose. "Heheh, you got badass, Cross!"
That drew a derisive snort from Cross. "Luffy, on the last island, you managed to pancake a shadow-dragon into the dirt. Compared to you? I am not hot shit! I am just a perfectly decent Paradise Pirate!" He then grinned proudly, his thumb jabbed towards himself. "And honestly, that's badass enough for me!"
"Shishishi! Well, so long as you're happy!" Luffy laughed. He then sobered up and tilted his head thoughtfully. "Though… I did see one or two places you slipped up. Mind if I give you some tips?"
"Luffy giving tips…" Cross chuckled, shaking his head. "What is the world coming to? But hell, you're the one who's got the highest kicks-to-ass ratio of the whole crew! Hit me with your best—!"
"LOOK OUT!" Yoko suddenly shrieked, genuine panic and concern written across her face.
"MEXICAN INQUISITION!" Soundbite swiftly added.
Cross spat out a curse and spun around. "Damn it, shoulda seen this coming!"
In all fairness, Cross probably couldn't have foreseen both of the Amigo brothers charging him with weapons drawn and their eyes rolled into their heads in signs of pure berserker rage, given how banged up they were. Cross braced himself for the oncoming clash, wincing as the motion pulled against his stab wound—!
WHAM!
And then he could only stare in dumbfounded shock when Corto was suddenly blasted into Largo on account of a white-and-gold pommel slamming into the stouter man's cheek with all the force of a cannonball.
For a moment longer, Cross stared dumbly at the now completely—and more importantly, effortlessly—pummeled bodies who'd once been his opponents. He then turned an indignant eye on the source of said pommel strike.
"I had that handled!" he protested in an almost whiny tone.
Zoro blinked at the lower-ranked mate in surprise. "What, were these guys important or something? Sorry, I was just looking for some training dummies I could practice my pommel strikes on, and they looked like they were convenient. Still…" He jabbed his thumb over his shoulder. "You gonna have a problem with it if I take them on, too? Repetition and all that, you know."
"Take…" Cross followed the direction Zoro was indicating, and paled when he saw the Amigo Pirates' mooks all staggering to their feet. "What… What the hell?! The captain and first mate I can buy, barely, but I know that I put them down! How the hell are they still—?!"
"Dunno, don't care," Zoro grunted indifferently. "Come on, can I take them or—?" He suddenly cut himself off and scowled skywards. "Ah, damn it. Too late."
"Say wha—ah hell…" Cross groaned, looking up at himself. Those dark clouds had most definitely not been there two minutes prior.
"Hey, boys!"
The sound of fingers snapping accompanied the cheerful greeting.
KER-ZAP!
And then came a shower of lightning that struck down every last one of the Amigos.
"How're things?" Nami continued pleasantly as she walked up to her friends, as though she hadn't deep-fried several dozen enemy combatants at once.
"You… sonnuva… killstealer!" Cross blurted in offence. "I had dibs on those S.O.B.s!"
"And I needed the practice!" Zoro scowled.
Nami glanced between the two before waving them off with a sheepish smile. "Ohhh man, sorry, sorry! I didn't mean to jam you up, really! I just thought I was taking out some trash, is all, honest mistake… But…" She stuck her tongue out, her Eisen Tempo swirling into an aura most angelic. "You'll forgive me because I'm so cute, right?"
Cross and Zoro exchanged flat looks before bringing their fists down on top of her skull. "Not on your life," they deadpanned.
"OW!" the navigator yowled, clutching at the growing lump on her skull and sticking her tongue out further as she glowered at the other two officers. "YOU MADE ME BITE MY TONGUE, ASSHOLES!"
"Bitch!"
"Grinch!"
"Morons!"
"Can't we all agree YOU'RE ALL JUST TERRIBLE PEOPLE?"
"SLIMEBALL!"
"And they completely ignore the bleeding wound," Fabre sighed indulgently. "That's the Straw Hats for you. I'd better go find that doctor of theirs…"
A few feet away from the bickering, Yoko could only stare on in shock. She stared at the leaders of the Amigo Pirates, who'd essentially been swatted like pests; she stared at the small army of pirates that had been deep-fried in moments; she boggled at the trio—quartet if you counted the snail of pirates who were lobbing insults at one another, all while sporting massively teasing smiles.
And finally, the girl could only fall back on her ass as her grasp on reality flatlined.
"Wh-What are you people?" the Marine girl stammered weakly.
"Shishishi! It's obvious, isn't it?"
The thump of someone sitting next to her drew Yoko's gaze, and she beheld Monkey D. Luffy shooting a wide smile at her. "We're the Straw Hat Pirates!"
"B-but… but!" Yoko sputtered incredulously, waving her hands frantically. "T-That's… not right! Pirates, they… they aren't like that! They're not like you! They-they don't protect people, they aren't cool or awesome or… or nice! Pirates are… they're…"
Luffy's smile slowly fell into a frown, and he glanced at the tenderized brothers. "You think pirates are meant to be like them, right?"
Yoko bit her lip, but she slowly nodded in agreement.
"Well… yeah, I know what you mean," Luffy said, his arms crossed and head nodding. "I don't like it, and I always say those guys are fakers, but… I'm dumb, but not that dumb. I know that most pirates are like that. I know that to the rest of the world, we're not really traditional pirates, y'know? It's stupid, but it's the truth."
Luffy took off his hat and looked at it, smiling wistfully. "But… I made a promise, see? I promised, on this hat, that I'd become the King of the Pirates. The one who gave it to me is the greatest man I've ever known, he saved my life when I was a kid… and he was the strongest pirate I've ever met."
Yoko gaped in stunned disbelief as Luffy looked back at her with a grin on his face. "I'm never gonna break this promise. I am going to become the King of the Pirates… but I'm not going to change to do it. I'm not going to let the world change me so that I can achieve my dream. I won't let the world change my dream. So, if the world says that my dream is wrong, impossible?" He pumped his fists with a confident nod. "Then I guess I'll have to change the world to fit my dream!"
Though Yoko's jaw still hung open, it was now a case of awe rather than disbelief. "Wh-What are you talking about?"
"The way I see it?" Luffy said, shoving his hat down. "While I become Pirate King, I'm gonna do one traditionally pirate-y thing." He shot Yoko a massive grin, full of pure steel. "I'm going to steal the word 'pirate'." Upon seeing Yoko's confused look, he elaborated. "Well… not the word… the… the idea? Concept! I'm gonna take the concept of pirates for myself, and change it! People like me, people who just want to see what the sea has to offer, we'll be the real pirates. And all those assholes just in it for the treasure and other stupid stuff like that, they'll be the fakes, playing around with things they don't understand. How does that sound?"
"…you're weird," was the only thing Yoko could finally muster.
"Duh!" Luffy laughed uproariously. "I mean, c'mon! What's the fun in being normal? You know what I'm talking about, right? I mean, you're friends with a really cool giant beetle!"
Yoko's expression wavered slightly at the reminder of the last time she'd seen Boss, but ultimately she decided to just look away and try to get her thoughts in order.
Seeing her confusion, Luffy frowned thoughtfully before nodding his head at Cross, who was now snorting and butting heads with Zoro, while Nami was off to the side, consumed by giggles. "If you're still having a hard time getting it… I dunno, maybe talk to Cross? He's really smart, and he's always talking about morals and stuff on the SBS. He'd know more about it than me."
Yoko looked towards them just as Zoro scoffed at Cross. "Didn't you say you were happy with how badass you were?"
"I did, and I am! But that!?" Cross stabbed his finger at the carnage arrayed behind them. "Shit like that makes me feel inferior! And also, this is when you guys show up!?" Growling wordlessly, he swung his arms out. "I was going up alone against several dozen bastards here!"
"Eh, it wasn't that big a deal, you had it handled," Zoro waved him off.
Cross's eye twitched as he spun around and gestured at the bleeding wound in his back. "I got shanked!"
"As I said, no big deal," the swordsman rolled his eyes.
"Didn't you even boast that it wasn't that big a deal?" Nami asked with a thoughtful frown.
"It is the principle of the matter!"
"…Since when do you have principles?"
"Now see here—!"
"AHEM!"
"GRK!" Cross froze mid finger-jab, his face paling dramatically as he slowly turned to see that Fabre had just returned with a glaring Chopper in tow. "Aheh… hiya Chopper… how's tricks?"
The human-reindeer cocked his eyebrow in an unimpressed manner. "What's this I hear about you getting, oh, what's the word you used… shanked?"
"Ah…" Cross waved his hands defensively as cold sweat coated his brow. "I-It was nothing, really! So very shallow, barely even a scratch, I swea—!"
Chopper jabbed his hoof downward, his glare unwavering. "On your knees, shirt and jacket off. Now."
"Yessir," Cross yelped, swiftly following the orders.
Chopper gave the stab wound a single look before redoubling his glare at his patient. "Cross, you're savvy, you know stereotypes and tropes and such, right?"
"…right?"
"So you know how absolutely boneheaded it is to remove a penetrating object from a stab wound, right?"
Cross swallowed heavily, positively refusing to meet Chopper's accusing gaze. "Twisting the knife would cause more damage, and I was moving around too much to be sure it wouldn't?"
"Nice story," Chopper crossed his hooves firmly. "What's the truth?"
The streams of cold sweat intensified further. "…Half intimidation factor, half adrenaline is both a steroid and an anesthetic."
Chopper snorted as he laid down his bag and started getting out his tools. "Well, if that's the case, then I'm sure you'll be able to go without my anesthetics for a bit."
"Wait, say wha—GAH YOU FURRY LITTLE BASTARD!" Cross howled as Chopper started to sew him up without warning or painkillers.
"Oh, suck it up, you took a dagger to the back, this is a sliver of metal, plus I need to ration out how much anesthesia I use with how fast you guys are burning through my supplies," Chopper said, rolling his eyes as he continued to work. "Meanwhile, let's focus on more important matters! You know, like how it's absolutely incredible that that thing didn't hit anything more important? Like your aorta. Or spine. Or a kidney. Or your lungs. Or liver. Or—!"
"Alright, I get it, there's a lot of important shit in my torso, and I should stop blocking things with it, get off my—BACK!" Cross yelped at a particularly harsh tug.
"Unless you're going to get more armour, you probably should," Nami admitted.
"Psh, wishful thinking," Cross grumbled. "I might have just realized I'm stronger than I thought I was, but no way in hell am I strong enough to lug around a full suit of the stuff."
"Aww, that's too bad," Nami teased. "After all, isn't wearing a suit of armour a—?"
"MAN'S ROMANCE!"
"GO, BOSS, GO!"
"GAH!" Nami reeled in shock when Boss and his merry band of nitwits suddenly put on their usual show. "Where the hell did you all come from!?"
"I was summoned!" Boss shot a thumbs-up at her (somehow), a sparkling smile decorating his mug. For a moment, an illusion of a bowl cut and black, bushy, caterpillar-like eyebrows superimposed themselves over Boss's face.
And then, thankfully, it was gone.
There was a haunted expression on Cross's face as he clamped a hand over his eyes. "This ocean is going to kill me before we hit the damn Red Line again…"
"Like how this crew's shenanigans and blatant disregard for their own health are rapidly killing my childish sense of wonder and amazement?" Chopper asked flatly as he finished tying a knot in Cross's stitching. "Because I am far too intimate with you people's innards for comfort. Done, by the way. And I swear, if I check this again later and find it split—!"
"Hey, don't insult me! I am not Zoro!" Cross glared over his shoulder in offence.
"Bite me," said green-hair snorted.
Cross responded by holding out a leering Soundbite. "Don't tempt me. I will use this."
Soundbite opened his mouth—
"Arghghgggrgh…"
And then shut it just as swiftly with a blink of confusion. "UHHH… that wasn't me?"
"No, it was him," Zoro said, jabbing a thumb towards Corto. Following his gaze, Chopper's eyes widened; the luchador was shuddering on the ground, gurgling on the blood and foam that was shoving its way out of his throat.
"What did you do to him!?" the reindeer demanded, rushing over to the large pirate's side and starting to look him over.
"I did jack shit!" Cross growled. "Damn it, I knew they were getting up was suspicious. I think they all dosed themselves with something to keep fighting, but Corto's ODing because his brother of the year gave him an extra dose earlier so that he could walk off a Gastro-Blast!"
"Damn, damn, damn, damn," the doctor cursed, intently looking the pirate over. "Fever, low blood pressure… Cross, did you see where he was injected?"
"Uh… he grabbed his neck when he first got up."
Chopper gently tilted Corto's head back and forth, and his eyes widened in shock when he beheld a visibly growing discoloration on his neck. "What on… this rash looks like toxic shock syndrome, only it's on steroids! What the hell did he take?!"
"Going by how they all managed to get up after Cross kicked their asses? Something stupidly effective that doesn't like to be double-dosed?" Nami hesitantly offered.
Chopper's eyes darted about in frantic thought. "Shit shit shit shit, and I can't give him an antibiotic if I don't know what that was…" Suddenly, he clicked his hooves. "Ah! I can still see the infection spreading, meaning it hasn't had time to circulate yet! Still dangerous though…" Chopper eyed Corto for a moment before shrugging. "Meh, he can survive losing a pint or two."
"A pint or two of wha—HURK!" Yoko's question promptly died in her throat as Chopper suddenly withdrew an empty and very large syringe from his pack and jammed it in Corto's neck. Slowly, he pulled the plunger out, along with a considerable amount of the luchador's blood.
"Alright…" Chopper nodded with a relieved smile as he observed that not only had the luchador's seizure abated, but his rash had stopped spreading. "That seems to have done it, now let's see just…. What… the hell…" Chopper's jaw slowly dropped in shock and horror as he held the syringe up to eye-level and watched as the blood held within visibly shifted its coloration.
"Ah, holy hell…" Cross brought his fist to his mouth with a sickly moan. "That just can not be right."
Chopper stared for a moment longer before scowling in utter fury. He then marched up to one of the less fried Amigo mooks, grabbed their collar and wrenched them up to stare into his infuriated eyes. "Who gave you this drug!?" he snarled. "You bastards aren't smart enough to have made it on your own! Who gave it to you?! Who gave you this—this poison!?"
The Amigo pirate gurgled in terror, visibly struggling to stay conscious. "I-It… b-but that's not… i-it was… h-he told us—!"
"A NAME!"
Shivering like mad, the pirate stammered out a single word. "I-I-In… di… go…" And with that, the pirate's eyes rolled up into his head, and he collapsed entirely.
"Useless!" Chopper swore. Dropping the pirate, the doctor went still for a solid minute. When he turned back to Cross, the cyan anger was still there, just… buried. "Please tell me you know this 'Indigo'."
"If this is the shit he's peddling?" Cross scowled down at Corto's ravaged body. "I wish I did, if only so I could let you dissect his most assuredly twisted ass." He shook his head. "The only guy I know of who could come up with something like this has a totally different name, didn't use aliases from what I saw, is on the wrong side of the Red Line, and is more into weapons than boosters anyway. Sorry."
"Tsk…" The human-Zoan ground his hoof into his temple before heaving a deep sigh and glancing at the onlooking mayor. "I need help hauling these morons back to their vessel, where I can make sure none of them are going to get melted from the inside out before we send them on their way. Could you spare a few of your townsfolk or…?"
"Oh, no, that's perfectly fine!" Fabre nodded hastily. "I think we have a few carts we can use, too! We'll fetch them right away for you."
"I'll come with you," Chopper nodded morosely, following the mayor back into the town.
The rest of the Straw Hats could only watch as their doctor walked off in silence, his shoulders slumped and speaking of considerable stress. Once he was out of sight, though, the captain of their ship's guard heaved a massive sigh and clapped his flippers together. "Well!" he announced in a lamenting tone. "Not that this hasn't been fun, but I've worn my flippers raw splitting trees all day, and I wanna put that practice to practical use. Either someone gives me a good fight, or—!"
"CAREFUL WHAT YOU wish for, blubber-brain," Soundbite snickered.
The dugong glanced at the mollusk in confusion—
"GWOOOOOGH!"
And then grinned in absolute elation as an insectoid war cry warbled out, and a massive shadow shot over the meadow. Before the onlookers' eyes, Boss Kabuto, even larger than he'd been when the Straw Hats had first laid eyes on him, landed on a nearby hill, roaring and snorting as he pawed at the ground and swung his beady eyes around in search of a good brawl.
"HE CAME THIS WAY BECAUSE he smelled a load of strangers AND HE WANTS TO TEST OUT HIS NEW UPGRADES…"
Boss Kabuto's gaze latched onto the downed Amigo Pirates, and as soon as he processed that there was no fun to be had, he slumped with a disappointed warble.
"AND that SHOULD REQUIRE NO TRANSLATION."
"Boss!" Yoko cried, running forward and embracing her friend's horn. "You're looking great! But you shed so early, are you alright?"
The beetle grunted reassuringly, though his demeanour was tense. It didn't take Yoko long to realize, and she looked down. "I'm sorry about earlier, Boss. I was… I was being stupid."
Boss slowly blinked, then began gently rubbing her with a couple of fingers. Before long, Yoko was laughing uncontrollably. "HAHAHAHA! S-S-Stop it, Boss, that t-tickles! A-And!" She shoved the feeler away with a tearful smile. "I-I still have to say something important…"
The feelers pulled back, and Boss followed, his expression one of confusion. "I… I'm sorry for being prejudiced," she apologized sincerely, soothingly rubbing his carapace. "The Straw Hats… they were right, I was wrong. About… a lot of things. The most important thing is that not all pirates are bad." She glanced over her shoulder and gave the Straw Hats a sad smile. "Especially not these ones."
"Don't worry about it," Nami cut in, waving off her concerns with a kind smile. "Many of our crew members used to feel the same way, myself included."
Yoko nodded in acknowledgement. "Yeah, I was wrong about you guys…" Then, sloooowly, she allowed a wide grin to spread over her face. "But there was one thing I wasn't wrong about!"
And with that, she spun back around and used Boss-K's horn to make him look her in her eager eyes. "My best badass bug-friend in the whole wide world can still kick the asses of your rubber-brained idiot and your smelly blubberbutt, at the same time and with every single last handicap you can think of, all without breaking a sweat! Isn't that right, Boss!?"
Boss Kabuto only hesitated long enough to give his best friend a look of shock before rearing up on his hind legs and roaring his defiance to the high heavens.
"THAT'S A FIGHTING ROAR RIGHT THERE!" Boss Dugong cackled euphorically, unwinding his rope-dart and spinning it into a blur.
"GO, BOSS, GO!" The TDWS cheered as one from a safe distance.
"FINALLY!" Luffy whooped, shooting to his feet and windmilling his arm just as fast as his aquatic Boss. "I'M STUFFED, I'M PISSED, AND I'M READY TO BRAWL! LET'S DO IT!"
"Back the hell up!" Zoro called out, leading the charge away from the prepping fighters. "These three aren't going to stop until this whole field's a crater!"
"And it's going to be glorious!" Nami cheered, beri signs flashing in her eyes even as she used her Eisen Cloud to cart away the fallen Amigo Pirates in a… less than gentle manner. "All three fighters are local celebrities, and this is the prize fight of the decade! I'M GOING TO CLEAN UP WHAT PROFIT THIS TOWN HAS TO OFFER! FIVE PERCENT OF THE HAUL TO WHOEVER HELPS ME WITH THE BETTING!"
"AYE, MA'AM!" the TDWS barked, hot on Nami's heels as she charged into town.
Yoko was no exception to the general evacuation, and she only paused as she ran to glance up at Cross. "You think… that we're… far enough yet?"
The tactician opened his mouth, before almost choking on his tongue as an earth-shattering impact, an ear-shattering roar, and a skin-blistering blast of blazing air washed over them. "Signs point to nope!" He glanced over his shoulder with a cocked eyebrow. "And just for the record, your badass beetle breathes fire?! I am officially jealous."
"Hey, what's going on?! Are you idiots stressing your—?! IS THAT THE GIANT BEETLE YOU GUYS TALKED ABOUT EARLIER!? AND IS IT BREATHING FIRE!? SO COOOOOOL!"
"Oh, that's nice!" Cross sighed with an honestly relieved smile as a euphoric squeal sounded out. "Chopper's been so serious lately, it's a relief to know he's still got some kid in him, you know?"
"Heh, if you say so! And you didn't see Boss's fire before? Yeah, he's awe—wait, what?" Yoko glanced at the fight, and then did a double-take as she saw what her friend was doing, a massive grin splitting her face. "Whoa, that's new! It was just fireballs before, not an actual flamethrower! Boss is even more awesome now!" Said grin slipped as she started to lag behind. "Or… not if I wind up getting roasted by it…"
"Can't have that, can we? Alley-oop!"
"Say wha—WAGH!" Yoko yelped as she suddenly found herself getting scooped onto the pirate's back. "Watch it, you stinking pirate bast—ah…"
Cross, meanwhile, just barked out a laugh. "Make me, you stuck-up Marine brat!"
Yoko blinked in surprise before snickering right back. "Swashbuckling ne'er-do-well! Ah, but before you reply," she hastily cut him off with a sheepish grin. "While an insult back-and-forth would be fun, your captain said something about you, uh, being smart and knowing a lot about how the world works and stuff?"
Cross immediately perked up, adopting a truly devilish grin. "Ooooh, a chance to corrupt the mind of the youthful, ignorant and innocent?"
"'TIS AS GOOD AS OUR BIRTHDAY! WOOHOOHOO!" Soundbite chortled in agreement.
Yoko swallowed heavily as her face drained of blood. "I suddenly regret absolutely everything ever."
"Too late!" Lassoo and Funkfreed laughed from where they were bringing up the rear.
Cross started to nod before suddenly casting a glare over his shoulder at Funkfreed. "And we're not riding you, why exactly?!"
"…yoooou never asked?"
"If you make me, so help me, ivory farm—!"
"Up and at 'em!"
"WHOA!" Yoko could only gape in shock as she suddenly found the pirate she'd been foisted on himself foisted onto the back of his elephant sword. She blinked slowly before gracing Cross with a goofy grin. "…I take it back: you guys aren't weird. You're fun!"
"All that and more, little lady!" Cross swept his hat off in a mock-bow before giving her a toothy smirk. "Now… where would you like me to start?"
And so, with a brawl for the ages as the backdrop, another soldier in the war against immorality and injustice was slowly and surely forged.