So, let me set the stage. The canon Straw Hat Pirates (including Merry), Billy, my partners, and myself. Two of our most dangerous allies, that nobody else on the crew had met before, both of whom had connections to the old Sun Pirates, looked on with interest tempered by resigned bemusement. Three ex-Sun and Arlong Pirates, the strongest and only repentant one of which was pinning the other two to the ground. One somewhat ditzy mermaid and a genius designer starfish who looked mostly confused by the whole scene.
And one blue-haired Marine swordswoman glaring at our first mate with her sword drawn, plus her strange maul-toting animal companion. The first mate looked rather flat-footed, which did not prevent him from drawing Wado halfway out of its sheath. Let's also not forget that we had three more ex-Sun Pirates on the Sunny, due to whom we would soon meet the past royal knight, present Warlord, and future Straw Hat.
Bottom line? The punchline was neither concise nor particularly funny. Though there were a few laughs to be had before the drama took over.
"Oi!" Hachi shouted, still keeping a firm hand on each of Kuroobi and Chew, which left four free to gesticulate and cross in denial. "No sword fighting in the restaurant except during the squinja migration! And I don't see any black-clad squid around here!"
…wait, what.
"I'm sorry, the what?" Koala asked the unspoken but generally shared question.
"The squinja migration," Hachi repeated, as if that explained everything. "Every spring and fall, the squinja clans migrate through here on the way between their hidden villages."
"…OK, you can't tell me now that I'm not dreaming," I said, pinching the bridge of my nose in an unsuccessful attempt to wake up.
Through my fingers, I saw Tashigi visibly pondering something. Whatever it was, though, she soon discarded it in favour of an even tighter combat stance. "I'll pay whatever damage we cause out of my own pocket, just let me fight—!"
"Kyuun," the rabbit-wolf thing behind her growled before leaping up, slapping his paw upside the back of her head and—
~o~
"Lieutenant, are you sure about this? You're not going to have more than pocket change for the rest of the year if you buy all of this," a uniformed Marine said around the package of weights in his arms.
"I need to improve myself to have any chance to achieve my goals," Tashigi firmly replied, carefully balancing her own packages as her other hand emptied her pockets of cash. "I don't care what it costs me, I will become strong enough to face him!"
In short order, she led a small group of Marines out of the store, all laden with arms full of exercise gear. In equally short order, they were helping Tashigi pick her own burden up after she tripped on a stray pebble.
~o~
—in the space of a couple of seconds, downloading a burst of memories into… pretty much everyone's mind's eye, if the way everyone was reeling back was anything to go by.
"What in the actual—?" I started to ask.
"—skin you alive, you walking handbag! How many times have I told you to stop doing that!?"
My attention was snagged by Tashigi, who had just finished snarling at her companion. Which, need I remind you, was something she generally reserved for Zoro. The companion's reaction was to blatantly yawn at her, one paw covering its mouth.
"Devil Fruit?" was the obvious question.
Fuming, Tashigi spun around and actually saw just how many people were present. Her eyes darted across the crowd before landing on me. "You… don't recognize him?" she asked carefully.
I took a moment to think about it, then shrugged casually. "I… think you mentioned him to me once before? The wolf-rabbit thing that was being difficult, ri—?"
CLANG!
"GAH!" I yowled, hopping on the leg that didn't feel like it'd just taken a sledgehammer to the shin. Which wasn't that far off, judging from the size of the maul the wolf-rabbit thing was holding in his paws, but still! "How the hell did that hurt, you little shit?! I'm wearing at least an inch of armour here!" I demanded.
"Quarter-inch."
"BITE ME, LONGNOSE!"
The wolf-rabbit's response was to chuff in a clearly satisfied manner. The smug smirk on his face was a big clue.
"To answer your question," Tashigi spoke up, drawing a sidelong glare from me. "He didn't actually hit you. What he did was revive the memory of past pains in your leg, making it feel like you were reliving that pain all over again. Reviving memories is his ability. Though I should mention that this guy isn't an Ability-user."
She swept her hand over the fluffball. "Allow me to introduce Popora, chief of, as he calls it, The Sealed Island. He's essentially a consultant for the Marines who's been helping us with his mnemonic abilities…" She scowled at the hybrid creature, who returned the look with a flat stare. "As often as he hinders us with them."
"Well, it looks to me like this time he decided to help you, seeing as he just showed us all that you're flat broke," Hachi cut in, giving her a decidedly unimpressed look.
Tashigi twitched before turning her glare back on Zoro. "Then I'll clean dishes if that's what it takes, but no matter what, I am going to split this bastard in—!"
"Language, Tashigi."
That got Tashigi to freeze right up, before glaring venomously at my snail. "That was a cheap trick, you little shit."
"It saved your ass last time we met, and this time around as well," I shot back. "And right now, I'm doing my best to help you out, too. Zoro."
My crewmates parted under the annoyed glare I shot between them, revealing the swordsman in a mid-crane stance, clearly trying to sneak out through the crowd. I facepalmed.
"Oh, for the love of—!" I snapped my hand up and pointed at Tashigi. "Just hurry up and fight her seriously, man."
"Cross—!"/"CROSS—!" Zoro and Sanji snapped at me.
"You, shut it," I ordered Sanji, shrugging off his volcanic expression. "You're not a swordsman, this doesn't concern you."
The cook—and to my brief dismay, his foot—twitched, but that was all, his cigarette visibly shrinking.
"And as for you," I said, going back to Zoro. "Yes, I know, you'll crush her like an ant."
"Hey!"
I ignored that, levelling my hand at the first mate. "Zoro, listen to me: This is all pretty much a protracted 'dagger' for her, you understand? This is all a 'dagger' for her, and that's just not fair, not to her and not to…" I hesitated briefly before jerking my head to the side. "Well, to her."
Zoro scowled, but though it looked like he was about to take a swing at me, by fist or by blade, he didn't look like he was going to argue either. That would do.
"Look," I continued, jabbing my thumb over my shoulder at the Marine. "You want this to end? You want her off your back? Give her what she wants. Give her 'Yoru'. She is begging you for it, she chased you into the damn Grand Line for it, so there's no problem with it. Once she has that… well, it won't be closure until she takes your head, but it'll be better than nothing."
"…damn it, why did I make the one mistake everyone makes and let you open your mouth?" Zoro growled to himself, kneading the bridge of his nose. He then snapped a scathing glare at Tashigi, which she met and matched. "Alright, fine. You wanted a fight, you have one. You and I on the Sunny. Now. Chopper, sorry for the mess."
"No, it's perfectly fine!" Chopper responded with a smile and a visage far too pleasant, prompting the rest of the crew to take two steps back. "You see, I'm wrapping up my research on the transmogrative properties of Zoan-flesh, and I just found a new project to start on once I'm done!"
Everyone's caution proved particularly prudent when Chopper snapped into his Human Point, his eyes blazing. "HOW SWORDS APPARENTLY CUT TWENTY POINTS CLEAN OFF THE TOP OF A PERSON'S IQ, AND SLAUGHTER SAID PERSON'S SENSE OF SELF-PRESERVATION!" he roared at the top of his lungs, before shooting Zoro a particularly sickly grin. "Oh, but don't worry, I won't research you or anything! After all, I can't rightly use you as a constant, seeing as I suspect that this penalty is accrued for each sword a person wields, THEREBY MAKING YOU AN EXTREME OUTLIER!"
"Ah… you… Do you realize that I am a sword, right?" Funkfreed spoke up, vibrating nervously in his scabbard.
Chopper waved his hand with a dismissive snort. "Yes, but both your previous and current wielders were suicidal idiots before they got their hands on you, so I consider you to be the exception."
"Withdrawn," the elephant sighed.
"Protested!" I interjected.
"Ignored," Zoro said as he walked by me, Tashigi following. Well, for two seconds before a sharp rap on the floor drew Tashigi's attention back to Popora, who waved his maul at the fishmen. Tashigi blinked. And then, wincing, remembered why she was here in the first place.
"Right… that does come first," Tashigi admitted, moving over to the counter. "Er, as I was saying before… all of this, I called to confirm that you had the resources to prepare food for a crew of two hundred twenty-five?"
"Yes, we can handle that… assuming that Hachi here is actually going to let us go sometime today?" Chew snapped, shooting a venomous glare over his shoulder at his boss.
"Hard to say, really." Hachi glared right back, crossing his free arms. "Can I actually trust you not to start anything, or am I going to have to tie you to the anchor chain? Again?"
I glanced at Soundbite, both of us mouthing 'again!?'.
"We'll be good," the fishmen groused, prompting Hachi to let them up.
"Alright, that's perfect," Tashigi sighed in relief, though she didn't stop tapping her hilt, and glanced back at Popora. "Uh, do you think you could—?"
The wolf-rabbit chuffed and waved his maul with an impatient roll of his eyes.
"Thank you!" she cried in relief, shooting out the door with far too much gleeful anticipation for the ass-whooping she was about to receive, and Zoro and Chopper marched out after her, each wearing their own brand of weariness.
Chew and Kuroobi warily watched the trio leave before giving Popora a doubtful once-over. "So… I guess the snail will be translating for you?" Kuroobi inquired.
"NOT REALLY, Seeing as A. he's yet to say shit, and B, even if he DOES SAY SOMETHING, I DON'T HAVE A CLUE WHAT HE IS! I WOULDN'T BE PACKING THE KEY TO WHATEVER HIS MOUTH WOULD BE SLINGING!"
Popora rolled his eyes and started moving his wrist in a familiar motion.
"Though I don't need to understand him to get that he can WRITE."
"That works, chew." Chew nodded, pulling out a notepad and holding it out. "Here, do you—?" The smelt-whatever was cut off by a piece of paper waving in front of his face. He plucked it away and gave it a quick once-over before heading into the back. Kuroobi was made to follow him, but was stopped by one of Hachi's hands grabbing his fin.
"Chew can get things ready. You are going to go out and get the orders of everyone who stayed on the pirate ship waiting outside," the octo-chef ordered.
"Actually," Franky said, raising a hand. "Another fully loaded ship should be here any second now. Friends of ours."
There was the briefest flash of absolute despair, and then Kuroobi nodded. Double-checking his notepad stock, he bundled them up in his arms and headed out the door, Chew already safely ensconced in the back of the restaurant.
Hachi nodded in satisfaction. Then Nami stepped up to the front of the line and looked him dead in the eyes. "Nyuu… m-may I help you?"
Nami deliberately exhaled, her clouds gray and… clenching, for lack of a better word. "How about you start by telling me everything that you've been up to since the last time we saw you?" she calmly requested.
The octopus swallowed, glancing nervously towards his other employees, who'd been standing around on her tail and him on her shoulders, getting more and more confused the entire time. "Ah, C-Camie, Pappug, could you go in the back and help Chew? J-Just for a bit?"
"You know, crossing paths with the Straw Hats, I was expecting a lot of ridiculous excitement and wacky hijinks. Not secret conversations and deep, emotional drama," Pappug dryly remarked.
"Buddy, the amount of things the public doesn't know about us is almost equal to what the World Government doesn't know in general," I deadpanned.
"Of course, if you want to listen to an entirely different and much less enjoyable kind of insanity, be our guest," Robin carelessly offered. Well, it would have been careless if she hadn't cleaned her fingernails with her knife.
Pappug stared at her for a long moment, eye twitching. Then he wheeled around and darted for the kitchen with more than a little fear in his step. Camie waddled right behind him, shooting a final doubtful glance over her shoulder before the door shut behind them.
The look on Hachi's face as the door closed was almost begging, but with it closed, he had no choice but to face Nami. Four of his hands poked their index fingers together while a fifth scratched the back of his head. "W-Well… I g-got away from the M-Marines," he began weakly. "B-B-But I haven't been hurting anyone, I-I swear—!"
"Because Arlong isn't around to tell you to?" Nami finished for him.
"Nyu!?"
"Assume she knows most everything about you," I glibly informed him. "Y'know, because I know most everything about you?"
Hachi wrung two of his hands, then pointed at a nearby booth with the other four. "Can we… take a seat, maybe? It's a bit of a long story."
Nami nodded curtly, walking towards the table. I made to follow, but a short wall of cloud stopped me, and she gave me a dismissive wave. "I can handle this on my own. I'm sure that you have other things you want to discuss…" She glanced at Sandersonia and Koala. "With other people, as it were?"
"…good point," I conceded, turning my attention to the aforementioned two, who looked thoroughly amused with the whole situation.
The rest of the crew, fortunately, had decided to make themselves comfortable while waiting for the food, though they all had their eyes on Nami. And by 'comfortable', I mean I really hope Hachi was feeling charitable towards us, because if we had to pay for the 'fun' the Kiddie Trio was having with the condiments out of Nami's horde, she was going to kill us before the New World could!
"So, how have the raids and revolutions been going?" I asked, leading them to a booth of our own. I shot a particularly cheeky smirk at the wide-mouthed Amazon. "And the chief bitch herself, for that matter."
"Hey!"
"How many baby animals has she kicked, again?"
"Oh, no, not what I was going to say," Sandersonia waved me off before donning a massive (on her, anyway) smirk, "I was just going to correct you in that that's queen bitch to you, peasant."
I snickered. "Point. How's the queen bitch doing, then?"
"…honestly?" Sandersonia relaxed into her seat with a smile. "Happier. Fact of the matter is, before you started the SBS, she was…" She grimaced and shook her head. "We all were frigid. Detached. We… honestly didn't even truly treat our crewmates as… well, crewmates. Soldiers, yes, but not comrades. They didn't even know about…" She gestured to her back, which had Koala laying a sympathetic hand on the Kuja's shoulder.
That drew a small smile back out of Sandersonia, which she then graced me with as well. "But… ever since the SBS started, our world has expanded! Beyond the hate and darkness we lived with for so long, that we suffered under…" She looked out the window and beamed at the Cannibal's figurehead. "And we found friends and light beyond it all. And our crewmates, well…"
She let out a happy sigh, leaning her chin on her fist. "They don't know the… details, but they know the 'Gorgon's curse' is really just Devil Fruits and some… scars that we don't want anyone to see. It might not seem like much, but compared to what we almost did to the last person that found out…"
Koala, Soundbite and I all exchanged wary glances at that little tidbit, and I slowly raised a tentative finger. "You wanna tell us what you did to that person?"
"NO REASON, we just wanna know whether to spring for the GET WELL SOON CARD or the gravestone wreath," my snail leered.
"H-Hey, hey, no need to get so testy!" Sandersonia waved her hands defensively. "I-I'll have you know that Marguerite's spine was perfectly fine! Eh…" She suddenly refused to meet our eyes. "Eventually…"
Now that almost got me out of my seat. "Did you just say, Marguerite!?"
"Uh…" Sandersonia blinked at me in surprise. "Yes, I did. She was a member of the watch on Amazon Lily, but after—" A coughing fit suddenly overtook her. "A completely excusable series of unfortunate events, my sisters and I took her onto the crew proper. Initially, she was only an apprentice, but after she showed some admirable initiative, we gave her her own raiding party, and she's been doing quite well, so—!"
Sandersonia's smile froze for a second before she gave me an incredulous stare. "Wait, you knew her name!? But how—wait!" The Amazon leaned forward with an eager grin. "You could only know her name if you knew her from the story! You didn't just learn about us, you actually came to Ama—MRGH!?" Sandersonia's scary accurate ramblings devolved into a panicked squawk when I hastily grabbed her distressingly accurate tongue.
"Not where the moron can hear us," I hissed, glancing back at Luffy. Thankfully, he was more concerned with trying to shove wasabi up Usopp's nose than anything else at the moment, so—wait, wasn't I holding something just—?
THWAP!
"Grk…" I winced as I got tongue-whipped. "I deserved that."
"No clap, you liddle bathtard!" Sandersonia hissed, frantically wiping her tongue. "Do you ever wash those damn things!? And what in the name of Nidhogg's rotting tail did you think you were doing to begin with!?"
"I was thinking that you were going to blow something I definitely don't want blown yet!" I snapped back. "I can't let Luffy know he's going to—grah!" I clamped my jaws shut, but judging from the poleaxed expressions on Sandersonia's and Koala's faces, I was a bit late on that front.
"I'm sorry, I think I had some seafoam in my ears. Did you say Luffy was going to Amazon Lily?" Sandersonia demanded incredulously. "As in, alone!?"
"As in, where are the rest of you going to be!?" Koala asked.
Running a hand over my face, I snapped the fingers of my other hand. Static promptly filled the air. "Neither of you is going to say a word to Luffy or anyone else… or else I'm going to tell your sisters and your comrades…" I narrowed my eyes menacingly. "About that… and that."
The pair immediately paled, the utmost of horror flashing over their faces.
"Mum's the word, just don't let them know! Hancock would strip my scales from my hide!" Sandersonia squeaked, clamping her hands over her mouth.
"The gunpowder… so much gunpowder…" Koala whimpered, sinking into her seat.
…holy hell, I was just taking a shot in the dark. Noodle incidents and seer status for the win! "Anyway," I said, relaxing back into my seat as I signalled for Soundbite to drop the blurring. "If you're done with your traumatic flashbacks, where were we?"
The pair composed themselves with admirable speed, and Koala raised her hand. "It was my turn to answer your question," the Revolutionary said, smirking. "And for your information, I've been dealing with a lot less stress the past few months since I finally got around to decking you for calling me cuddly."
I gave her a flat look while Sonia raised an eyebrow. Then I smirked, closed my eyes, and pressed my fingers to my brow. "I'm seeing, I'm seeing… your very first reaction to seeing Hachi again was—!"
"Alright, alright!" Koala's cheeks flushed, and she looked away before continuing. "Anyway, we've been milking the CP9 operational intel for all that it's worth, and the way you've kept publicizing it with Funkfreed—"
"Or as he likes to be called, DEEP NOSE."
"I have told you time and time again, stop calling me that!"
"—has only helped. Your piece on the Caligostan Theocracy was particularly…" Koala hummed thoughtfully. "Poignant."
I donned a cocky grin. "I take it it was effective?"
"Super effective?"
"Given that our last reports have the ex-congregation sacking the citadel and putting a torch to the 'holy' texts?" Koala summarized, her expression falling flat. "Very." She then perked up, sporting a cocky grin. "Still, destructive tendencies aside? You've boosted the Revolutionaries' membership to the highest it's had since its conception! We're still a long way off from our main goal, but that's fine. You might have accelerated things, but we were ready to wait however long we needed to see things through, and we're still ready now."
Sandersonia stiffened up a bit and suddenly snapped a wary look back at me. "Wait, I thought you two were just—! Jeremiah Cross… how close of an ally are you with the Revolutionary Army?"
The pieces clicked into place in a second, and I felt a smirk grow on my face. "Close enough that I could get a meeting with Dragon in person if I needed to. We're not involved with each other's plans… but we are allies."
"'Hand-in-hand but not conjoined', I believe, were your exact words?" Koala added, almost impishly.
Sandersonia's eyes widened, then narrowed, then returned to normal. I could almost see the gears turning. "Well, in this case, seeing as I've been presented with the opportunity… Koala." She leaned forward, steepling her hands under her chin. "Could you tell me what, precisely, the Revolutionary Army's end goal is?"'
…wait, what? I looked between the two, confused. "The Revolutionaries' —? What? I thought it was to overthrow the World—?"
"Not… quite?" Koala blinked at me in honest surprise. "I mean, that's the public image we present, but it's just that. I'd have thought you, of all people, would know the details?"
"A little more than halfway through, remember?" I pointed out. "The most detail I've seen of the Revolutionary Army was Robin introducing you guys as the 'opposition' to the World Government, the invasion and liberation of Tequila Wolf—didn't see any details, no clue what the bridge was for," I pre-empted her question, which drew an annoyed tsk. "—as well as you, Hack, and Sabo helping us bust up Doflamingo's weapon-smuggling ring, but that's pretty much it."
"Wait, Doflamingo has a weapon-smug—Doflamingo is Joker!?" Koala hissed incredulously.
"… well, at least you know now," I said, wincing. "Though, for the record? Take any extra precautions you can for agents infiltrating Dressrossa, and have their missions physically documented in triplicate. Doffy's packing a memory censor, you've… honestly probably lost dozens of agents by now and not even realized it."
Koala's face flashed through a rainbow of expressions before finally settling on tortured resignation. Sinking into her seat, she massaged the bridge of her nose. "Anyway…" she bit out. "Getting back on track… I really thought you knew, based on what you said when we met you, Cross. We're not anti-World Government, we're anti-World Noble."
She suddenly sat up and stared at me with no small amount of panic. "That-That's not a problem or anything, is it?" she asked with honest concern.
I only had to think about things for a second before shrugging. "Honestly? At this point, I think it's all semantics. You're going top down, we're climbing bottom up, but in the end it's the same opponent. For now, I vote we quibble over where we start cutting after everyone's trussed up for the chopping block. Aye?"
"Aye," Koala sighed in relief.
"Aye…" Sandersonia mused, chin cupped in thought. "I'm going to need to talk with Hancock about this…" she hissed under her breath, something I only heard thanks to Soundbite feeding it to me.
It briefly occurred to me to comment on that and start what I'm pretty sure was a necessary discussion, but the sound of a chair screeching on the floor, almost covered up by rumbling thunder, demanded my full attention. As it did to everyone else, judging from the sudden silence in the room.
I looked over and winced at the sight of Nami looming over a cowed and defensively reeling Hachi.
"Put a pin in catching up until after we're sure our navigator isn't going to deep-fry our host?" I requested.
"Oh, you go right ahead, we'll just keep talking behind your back, most likely about you," Koala replied with a perfectly innocent grin.
I opened my mouth and clamped it shut with a hissing sigh. "Well, at least you admit it." It was on that note that I got up to go face the tempest.
"I must have misheard you," Nami bit out, enough venom to put down a Sea King in her voice. "Did you just say that they tricked you into handing over a mermaid to sell into slavery? Are you serious!?"
I didn't even need to look back at the booth to tell that Koala and Sandersonia were looking our way. The screaming of abused wood combined with the kind of ear-scratching hiss you only hear from a snake on the verge of biting your face off were kinda big clue.
"Nyuuuu…" Hachi whimpered, obviously longing for a pot he could disappear into. "I-I did say that they tricked me and I had no idea about the slavery thing, right? R-Right?!"
"Hatchan… you know my penny-pinching tendencies as well as anyone. Better than most, actually, seeing as you helped cause them," Nami said in a deceptively calm tone. "I know what's a good buy and what isn't. So what makes you think that I'd even sniff the crap you're trying to sell me!?"
"Well… maybe because it's not that hard to believe?"
All eyes turned toward Usopp, who barely flinched. I mean, he still flinched, of course, but not much. "I-I mean, I still remember back at Arlong Park, I was trying to distract Arlong with my Rubber Band of Doom bluff, but it worked on him instead… for about thirty seconds straight, even. It was almost awkward. If he could fall for something like that…"
Nami kept up her glare for about half a minute, at which point she hung her head in defeat. "Damn it, I wish I didn't agree with you."
Hmm… to help Hachi or not to help Hachi… Oh! I could split the difference with one little incident.
"Usopp's right," I announced, fighting to suppress a broad grin. "Ask Hachi about the first time he met Zoro."
Hachi stiffened and then slumped down with a groan of embarrassment, and I think a blush, though it was kind of hard to tell with both his natural pigment and the hands covering his face. "Can we… really not?" he pleaded. "A-Anyway… I really didn't know about the slavery! I thought they were just a kidnapping gang and—!"
"And that's somehow supposed to be better," Nami flatly stated.
"…in my defence, ex-pirate, and I only knew her for about half an hour at the time?" he pleaded weakly.
Nami fell into a brooding silence again, and I privately hoped that Nami was reflecting on her years as a thief and the people that she'd had to use to get what she wanted, rather than any of Sanji's takoyaki recipes. Thankfully, that 'hope' was borne out when Nami sank back into her seat with a defeated groan. "…Only because she's chosen to work for you all this time, for whatever reason," she conceded.
Looking stricken, Hachi began to raise his hands, only to stop and start wringing them. "I… I know my words mean less to you than dirt, Nami…" he said softly. "But… but I want you to know that I am sorry. For all of it. Every time I go over those days in Cocoyashi, I just want to reach back in time and punch myself until I stop! Being! Stupid!"
Nami's eyes widened as several of Hachi's hands clenched into fists, but a second later, they unclenched.
"But. I know that I can't. All I can do now is live my life the best I know how and make up for the past. Try and beg for your forgiveness, and the forgiveness of everyone I've wronged."
By this point, Nami's head was bowed, her Tempo and hairline both shadowing her eyes. "…I'm not just going to give you that," she said quietly.
"Never expected it!" Hachi hastily replied. "I-I just, I just…"
"You know, I can't speak for what kind of hell you must have gone through," a new voice mused thoughtfully. To Nami's visible surprise, Koala plopped down on the seat next to her, a serene expression on her face. "But Hachi genuinely is trying to turn things around. Has turned things around, really. It's the only reason that I'm giving him a chance."
Nami stared at her in complete confusion, and Koala blinked before looking at me.
"Contrary to popular belief, I do have privacy standards," I drawled before she could open her mouth. "And something like what you went through? That blows right past those standards like there's a Marine ship on its tail."
She nodded, turning back to Nami with a somewhat sheepish expression. "Sorry, that probably didn't make sense. Let me explain." She twisted in her seat and raised her shirt, flashing the red sun that Fisher Tiger had burned into her flesh. "I assume you know what this mark means?" she asked.
Nami blinked, visibly confused. "I-I missed the explanation on the Sun Pirates that Robin gave the crew earlier, but I know that they were a crew made only of fishmen, that most of the Arlong Pirates were originally on their crew… You were one of them?"
"…The significance of this sun goes beyond the Sun Pirates," Koala explained softly, a wistful look on her face. "This symbol came to be recognized for hope and light because it was specifically designed to cover up the Hoof of the Flying Dragon…" Koala's fingers clenched, digging furrows in the counter. "The slavery brand of the World Nobles."
Nami and everyone else in the crew stiffened, Hachi's eyes closed as one of his hands drifted up to his forehead, and out the corner of my eye, I saw Sandersonia shivering in her seat, hugging herself.
"Fourteen years ago, a well-respected sea bream fishman named Fisher Tiger climbed the Red Line to Mariejois, where so many of his fellow fishmen were suffering, and burned the entire city to free the slaves that were imprisoned there," Koala continued. "All of the fishmen he freed and all of the fishmen loyal to him on Fishman Island came together and formed the Sun Pirates; he used the mark of the sun to cover all of the slave brands, and branded everyone else to sail on the crew to make it clear that they were all equals."
Koala closed her eyes and took a deep, deliberate breath. "I was one of the slaves that he freed. And three years later, when the Sun Pirates came to an island where I was staying, they agreed to transport me back to my home. It took a lot of work for me to break out of the… conditioning, but Fisher Tiger…"
A wistful smile came over the Revolutionary's face, her fingers tapping on the counter. "Tiger… he made it clear that I had been freed. And even though I was a human, the rest of the Sun Pirates were nice to me. They reminded me that I was alive, that I no longer needed to be afraid." She turned a kind smile on Hachi, laying a hand on his shoulder that drew a smile from him in turn. "Hachi was particularly nice. He always made lots of delicious takoyaki, and his antics were hilarious, and they kept everyone smiling and happy."
Hachi twitched and glanced away, chuckling weakly. "'Antics', right…"
Koala chuckled fondly. "They were my friends, my crewmates…" And then, Koala's good mood was bushwhacked by a dark frown. "Except for Arlong." Hachi flinched again, this time looking down in shame. "Even back then, he was… dark. Scary. He made it clear that, as far as he was concerned, I wasn't and would never be welcome. I remember him saying that if 'Big Bro Ti' hadn't been around, he wouldn't be holding himself back as much."
The mood darkened between them for a few moments. Koala finally looked back at her.
"The point is, the Sun Pirates were the antithesis of slavery, but among them, Arlong was the outlier. And once Fisher Tiger died, Arlong fell away from them and their ideals, and everyone loyal to him went along with it, because without Fisher Tiger, they were lost, and he was one of the last pillars of strength they had. It would take a lot to make me willingly give any of them a chance… but Hatchan has been making the effort."
Nami sighed. "Okay, so, I already admitted once today that I don't have as much of a grudge against him as the rest of them… but you can actually understand what it's like, to have that much pain inside for so long."
Koala nodded solemnly, her hand tentatively moving to rest on Nami's shoulder. "I understand, and I don't expect you to forgive him right away, or anytime soon. Just… keep in mind, Hachi… he's a good man. Arlong, you can hate with all your heart, but leave Hachi on the periphery."
Nami bit her lip, and her Tempo writhed in time with her inner discord, but when she finally let out a tired sigh, it settled as well. "I… I'll try. For Hachi." And then, just like that, her aura was bristling again as her gaze re-sharpened. "But as for those two."
Much to my surprise, and Hachi's too, for that matter, Koala's expression became an icy mirror of Nami's. "Yes, they are a separate matter entirely."
"HACHI!"
Our eyes turned to the doorway, where Kuroobi was standing with an expression of utter fatigue on his face, and Pappug was standing on his shoulder. "We've got another few dozen orders, and the dragon that they have onboard wants enough for five fishmen! And on top of that, Mohmoo is with them, along with half a dozen junior sea kings!"
"Nyuu?! They recruited Mohmoo!? I gotta—! Er…" Hachi wilted sheepishly, shooting Nami a tired but sincere smile. "Can we pick this up later?"
"Go on, go on," Koala waved him off, Nami inclining her head in agreement. Gratefully, Hachi made his way back to the grill, Kuroobi on his heels. The expression probably wouldn't have been grateful had he heard what Nami muttered under her breath the minute his back was turned:
"Maybe we should just cover one of the fishmen in batter and serve him up. Be easier."
I mean, I didn't exactly disagree with the sentiment, but wow, that was a bit much.
With that, the mood turned from sombre to awkward; nobody was really sure what to say while we waited.
"Hey, uh… Koala?"
Until said Revolutionary turned to our uncharacteristically hesitant captain. And I mean seriously hesitant, like 'hat literally in hand' hesitant. Seriously, if he didn't learn that from Makino or one of his brothers, then I'd eat my hat.
"You said you were pretty high up in the Revolutionaries." The Rubber Man inquired sheepishly. "So… Does that mean you know Sabo?"
Koala cringed… then sighed, giving him a defeated smile. "Yes, I do. I'm partnered up with him often, and—!"
"REALLY!?" Luffy cut her off gleefully, suddenly so close to her that Koala had to lean perpendicular in her seat to avoid a collision, with no small amount of panic on her face. "TELL ME ABOUT HIM, I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HE'S LIKE NOW!"
"I see the family resemblance…" Koala noted weakly.
"No concern about spoilers, captain?" I asked in surprise.
"The last spoiler about him was that he was alive after I thought he was dead for ten years!" Luffy answered excitedly. "I was supposed to be there for seven more years before he went his own way, so I need to catch up! Besides, this isn't about the future, it's the past, so what does it matter!?"
I blinked several times. Honestly, that was saner than most 'Luffy logic' I was used to.
"Actually, I'd like to hear more about him, too," Sanji added… as he casually kicked our captain off the Revolutionary. "We met Ace in Alabasta, but Luffy having another brother is news to us. Anything to learn how our captain went from a cute, cuddly kid we're almost certain he once was—"
"Fat chance!" Soundbite 'subtly' coughed.
"Bullshit!" I 'surreptitiously' agreed.
"—into… well, this," our cook gestured at our captain's… everything.
Sighing in fond exasperation as she righted herself, Koala smiled. "Well, the first thing to know is that ever since he got his memory back, he flies off into a gloating session about Luffy every time his name comes up…"
"Shishishi!" Luffy laughed as he pumped his fists happily.
"But anyways, I suppose that for Sabo's little brother… I can return the favour. Now, let's see… ah!" Koala snapped her fingers and smiled as she leaned back in her seat, reminiscing. "I'll start at the start, with the very first mission we went on together. It all began in the Headquarters of the Revolutionary Army, nestled in the cliffs of Baltigo…"
And so it went, Koala's smile never faltering as she proceeded to pass the time with tales of her and Sabo's varying—and quite frankly, insane even by our standards—adventures. Honestly, how the hell Sabo had managed to get so much mileage out of a corkscrew and a clam shell… well, I suppose I know better than most that some things aren't meant for the human mind.
This all went on for about ten minutes or so until storytime finally came to a crashing halt… Literally on account of the minor shockwave that suddenly slammed into us, swaying the boat but good.
"Looks like Zoro's done," Franky observed, getting to his feet and stomping toward the exit. "Sunny had better have been left pristine, or I swear—!"
"Keep your man-panties on, Iron-Ass, I didn't touch the Sunny," Zoro grunted as he stalked in past our shipwright, rolling his shoulder with an expression of immense satisfaction. "Tashigi, however, I touched very thoroughly. And Swirly, if you want to make an issue of that?" The first mate spread his arms invitingly. "Bring it on, I welcome it!"
Sanji… actually paused mid-kick and blinked at the swordsman in confusion. "You're… surprisingly tolerable for once, Mossy."
"Finally beating Kuina in some capacity felt cathartic as hell, didn't it?" I half-stated.
"Mmm," Zoro shrugged as he sank into a seat. "It wasn't bad. Put up more of a fight than I expected, but still nothing close to what she could have done at that age if she were still alive. Better than nothing, I guess."
"And to confirm, Tashigi is…?" Koala began.
"Now listen here, you green-haired, metal-swinging troglodyte!"
"Surprisingly intact," I commented with a cocked brow as the Marine barged in.
And indeed, Tashigi was in seemingly pristine condition. You know, apart from the fact that she had half her body covered in bandages, with a particularly bloody swathe tied around her waist.
And a bunch more were wrapped around her forehead by Chopper, who was in hybrid form, standing on her shoulders.
"First off, I did perfectly fine, thank you very much!" Tashigi hissed as she jabbed her finger at our first mate.
"Hold still, before I fasten this eyepatch on with surgical staples," Chopper tersely ordered as he tugged a strip of gauze taut over the lieutenant's left eye. "And be glad that this is only temporary, got it?"
"Second," Tashigi went on, seemingly ignoring Chopper. "I still want to know where the hell you got the legendary dragon-slaying O Wazomono-Grade sword Shusui—!"
"I got it after I killed Ryuma's corpse on Thriller Bark."
"…oh, how I wish I could actually not believe that," Tashigi groaned, rubbing her unwrapped temple. "And third! If you're wielding Shusui, then where the hell's Yubashiri!?"
Zoro's normally stoic expression twisted like he was sucking on a lemon and half a grapefruit at once. Otherwise, he didn't respond.
After a moment, Funkfreed asked, "If you don't want to tell her, can I do it?" Zoro turned towards me… and slowly nodded. At that, the elephant-sword shifted into his hybrid form to slide from his sheath and curl up on the ground, sort of like a snake. A massive snake whose frame could take up half the room, but still.
"It got wrecked on the Bridge of Hesitation," the hybrid weapon explained, waving his trunk remorsefully. "Not beyond repair, but enough that he had to leave it with a blacksmith on Water 7. I mean, at this point, if you want it that badly, then…" He shrugged helplessly. "I guess it's all yours?"
Zoro snapped a glare at my sword and opened his mouth, presumably to cuss him out. Instead, after a moment, he shut it and glanced down at his waist. He gripped Shusui's hilt before hissing out a defeated sigh. "…fine, damn it, fine! I'll give you the ticket that the Smith gave me. I don't like it, but damn it, I owe Yubashiri its right to fight again. And…" The swordsman glanced aside with a scowl… and a blush!? "And… better you than someone else, I guess."
"God help us, I THINK THAT'S THE CLOSEST she'll ever get to a pr—!"
SHING!
"I SAY NOTHING!" Soundbite yowled, eyestalks twisting to keep an eye on the snow-white blade hovering between him and Zoro.
Grimacing, Tashigi turned away from the byplay, rubbing the back of her head.
"I am conflicted…" I just barely heard her mutter. She raised her voice a few moments later. "Ah… before anything else, though, how did a sword of that quality, in…" She grimaced slightly, as though the next words burned her throat. "In hands as skilled as yours, ugh, get—?"
"Some Navy bastard with the Rust-Rust Fruit," I said.
And just like that, both Tashigi and the air in the room stopped, and the Marine slowly turned to look at me, Blair Witch-style.
"Someone in the Navy has the power of the Rust-Rust Fruit…" she intoned, her voice devoid of life. "And he came that close to destroying the legendary Ryo Wazamono-grade Yubashiri with them. Without even a hint of remorse."
"Um…" I briefly thanked my lucky stars that she wasn't actually pissed at Zoro or me this time. And because this wasn't directed at us… "Yes?"
It could have all ended there if Funkfreed didn't choose to raise his big fat trunk.
"Just so you know? That wasn't the first Grade-sword Captain Shu's gotten his hands on, and none of the others had Cross's forewarning to save them."
That was apparently a step too far.
I swear that an unholy inferno lit up around the lieutenant, her face becoming a shadowy mask of rage as she strangled Shigure's hilt.
"I am going to—!"
THWACK!
"—hug a cuddly bunny…" Tashigi slurred mid-sentence, a goofy grin spreading across her face as she bonelessly sank into the nearest seat. This revealed Chopper standing behind her with a dripping needle in his hoof.
"I have gotten far too good at eyeballing a person's weight so that I can properly sedate them," he grumbled to himself as he sank into a seat of his own and started massaging his eyes. "I've also stitched up far too much small intestine while my own is empty. Where's the food?"
"Ugh…" Chew groaned, rubbing at his eyes as he came back inside and started reciting something in a long-suffering tone. "We'll have your orders taken care of as fast as we can, chew. If you would just be patient—"
Chew opened his eyes and stopped speaking as he processed exactly how many glares he was receiving, the sheer amount of 'not damn welcome' they conveyed, sending him powerwalking backwards back to the kitchen.
"Bunny… bunny-wolf—GAH!"
Tashigi broke the tense mood with an exclamation followed by a grumbled mutter of thanks to her companion, who was tucking a wasabi stem back into his coat. He(?) then pointed at me, and Tashigi did a double-take before smiling. "Oh, right. Cross. We really didn't expect to run into you again, but it's fortunate that we did; remember how Popora has mnemonic abilities?"
"Yeah?" I drew out, dreading any brand of interaction with the hammer-happy hybrid.
"Well," she gestured at his hammer. "If ever you wanted a chance to—and believe me, I am loath to say this—be as nigh-omniscient as you once were, we can give you that refresher you were hoping for."
The way Tashigi said that was just a little too eager for my liking, but quite frankly, I didn't care. I would let myself get zapped by Enel again if it meant remembering the rest of the series. I nodded, kneeling in front of the rabbit-wolf… right as Tashigi got the last word in.
"Oh, and Popora? Feel free to hit him as hard as you possibly can."
"Kyuuuun."
"Wait, wha—!?" I snapped my head up right as the hammer swung.
~o~
"You and I will never meet again."—
—"We three sisters were once…"—
—"DRAGON IS YOUR DAD!?"—
—"STRAW HAT ISN'T A PIECE OF TRASH LIKE YOU!"—
—"Weaklings don't get to choose how they die."—
—"Would you do us the honour of exchanging sake cups?"—
—"Thank you, all of you, for loving me!"
Ace was mortally wounded, with a gaping hole in his torso.
A complete and total silence, encompassing all factions, friend and foe alike.
A Vivre Card burning away into nonexistence.
And then… and then—!
~o~
"MOTHER ALMIGHTY!" I gasped as I lurched back to reality and landed clean on my ass, the surge of images and emotions and-and-and everything that had just hit me taking me completely by surprise. Seriously, I'd been expecting a hell of a lot, but not that much!
With my senses properly rebooted (and believe me, that was an ordeal and a million), I realized that I'd all but curled up, my armoured hands clamped around my skull and moisture on my face and chin. Opening my eyes, I saw everyone watching me with undisguised concern.
I really, really shouldn't have been focusing so much on that part of the manga…
I shook my head and started to get to my feet, but a tapping on my shoulder stopped. Looking up, I realized that it was Popora, who was… crying? Seriously, while the hybrid's expression maintained the stony impassiveness it had held the entire time I'd known him, he definitely had twin tear tracks coursing down his cheeks.
The wolf-rabbit wiped the tears off and pinched them between his fingers, eyeing them contemplatively before giving me a respectful look.
"Translation, he respects THE TRAUMA YOU JUST relived," Soundbite informed me.
"Uh… thanks?" I shook my head and pushed my way back to my feet. "It's—gugh—it's alright, guys, just a… really bad memory…" I wiped the last of my tears from my eyes and shot a sidelong glare at Tashigi. "It's not like what you just hit me with is relevant anymore, anyway."
The Marine had the grace to look away at that. Regrettably, nobody relaxed. Not that I could blame them, I didn't believe half the shit I was spewing myself. I couldn't help it, really, not after watching that.
Wordlessly, Luffy held out the Vivre Card that he had already withdrawn from his hat. Still perfectly intact. I saw it move… parallel to the Red Line? Did that mean he was on Sabaody? Huh, that would be cool, we might actually meet him in person… and that was most definitely not complete and utter desperation colouring my inner monologue.
I nodded in gratitude to Luffy, but his frown only deepened; he could tell as well as I that the difference between what was and what is didn't help that much…
"Ah… Cross?" Tashigi suddenly spoke up, drawing everyone's attention to her. "I don't want to add more bad news to this, but I just remembered some news Aquarius heard that I think you should know."
The lieutenant's hesitation contorted, mixing with disgust. "Apparently, someone high up in the Government decided that the best way to punish you for the SBS was to break your spirit. They've sent out a powerful task force with Cipher Pol-level intel-gathering skills with one goal: find the homeland of Jeremiah Cross, and unleash the Buster Call upon its shores unless your crew turns itself over."
The moment that the last syllable left her lips, she ducked her head, shaking with what looked like sobs but did not sound like it. The rest of the crew was making a similarly valiant but futile attempt to hide their expressions, and Koala and Sandersonia, in particular, had their faces buried in their arms, their shoulders shaking heavily. And as for me?
"Pff…"
I honestly couldn't hold it back for more than a couple of seconds.
"PFFHAHAHAHA!" I cackled, falling back onto the ground and pounding it.
"HEEHEEHOOHOOHAHA!" Soundbite howled in agreement.
That opened the floodgates. Pretty much everyone on the crew was now laughing his or her head off, most of them unable to stay on their feet. As it was, Koala and Sandersonia looked to be in danger of reducing their tables to splinters from pounding on them so hard, and almost everyone in the room was a bad breath away from asphyxiating with glee.
And really, who could possibly even begin to blame them!? The mere idea that what could have been such a tragic, ruthless, absolute bottom-barrel tactic was instead a complete and total wild goose chase?! It was hilarious beyond all conceivable description!
"Dereshishishishi!" Robin guffawed into her fist, tears streaming from her eyes. "I never t-thought that the words 'Buster Call' could send me into a positive form of hysterics, but once more, this crew—Dereshishishishi!"
"M-Maybe next they'll try and arrest my ex-father! HAHAHA!" Sanji roared through his laughter, casually catching anything that bounced off the table he was pounding with a fist.
"No, no! They'll come after mine!" Chopper waved his arms over his head eagerly, a manic grin on his muzzle. "I'll even lead them right to him, make the introductions myself!"
"No! Conis's mother- HAHAHAAA!" Nami was cut off mid-sentence when she tipped too far back in her seat and toppled over, though that didn't stop her laughter at all.
"PFHAHAHAHAAA!" I wheezed in a frantic, lung-burning gasp as I threw my arms wide. "Th-Those bastards want to burn my home to the ground!? Well, they're certainly welcome to try! PFHAHAHAAA!"
"Uh, please tell me we're missing something!?"
It was at this point that we all looked up and saw that the full staff of Takoyaki 8 had re-entered the room and were warily eyeing us, Hachi himself looking pretty damn stricken.
"I-I-I echoed the NEWS TO THEM—"
And then a sudden shrieking, cackling gale rocked the building.
"AND the Sunny!" Soundbite concluded gleefully. "I THINK VIVI'S GONNA START A TYPHOON, SHE'S HOWLING SO HARD!"
"I-I can hear Big Bro's laughing, too!" Merry wheezed out.
"Um…" Camie nervously tugged at her collar. "I-I really hope there's a joke I'm missing here? Because if not, your laughing is… i-is…"
"I-I-IT'S THE MOTHER OF ALL WILD GOOSE CHA-A-A-SES, HEHAHAHAHAHAAA!"
My mirth was a little too much for me to spare a double-take at Bartolomeo's sudden presence, and instead, I staggered over to him so that I could sling my arm around his shoulders and laugh in tandem with him. "GOOSE CHASE, GOOSE CHASE, LOOKING IN THE WRONG PLACE, HAHAHA!" I laughed in agreement with him.
"I-I'll explain," Koala chuckled, wiping away as she slowly came down from her own mirth. "See, Cross's home? It's not anywhere in the East Blue. Or on the planet. Or the moon, for that matter."
I slowly came down from my laughter high at that, sending her an annoyed look.
"And as for why I told you that?" she forged on, smiling far too innocently at the fishmen. "It's because no matter who you tell for the rest of your life, no one will believe you. And before you ask, yes, I did get pretty nasty in the Revolutionaries. It shows, don't it?"
"Actually, what I was going to ask is how that's supposed to be more unbelievable than anything else the Straw Hats have done," Kuroobi deadpanned.
"Nyuu, same problem," Hachi groaned, massaging his head with two hands. "The truth is just one more wild guess out of a million."
"Yeah, we're evil like that!" Nami giggled drunkenly, still coming off her laugh-high.
"Uh, excuse me. Who are you, that you know Cross's secret?" Tashigi interjected, cautiously eyeing Koala.
"Koala. Assistant Fishman Karate instructor of the Revolutionary Army and one of their top executives. I was there when he told Dragon the details," Koala explained, smirking. "In fact, I was the one who knocked his ass out and helped drag him to Dragon. No small feat, mind you."
"PFT!" Tashigi snorted into her hand, not trying very hard to hide that burst of laughter. I settled for merely rolling my eyes at the exchange. After all, I was mature, I could take it on the chin… Koala'd proven that for damn sure.
"And you're Tashigi, I believe…" the other half-Mason continued. "Or would 'Pisces' be more appropriate?"
Tashigi snapped into a far more guarded stance as Sandersonia practically slithered up to her and smiled lightly… or as lightly as someone like her could manage. "You're familiar with my sister, Cobra. You can call me Anaconda."
"MY ANACONDA DON'T-! GYARK!"
"I suffered through the SpongeBob song, I'm not suffering through that!" I snarled, doing my damndest to stuff the little pest back in his shell.
Sandersonia cocked an eyebrow at us. "Anyway…" she dragged out, looking around. "Seeing as no one's quite done it yet, I feel I should point out that this is quite the unprecedented event. I am a member of a Warlord's crew. You-" She nodded at Koala, who smiled and crossed her arms behind her head. "An executive of the Revolutionary Army, and you-" Tashigi stood up a little straighter at the attention. "An officer in the Marines. By all rights, we all should be at one another's throats, but instead here we stand as the closest of allies." She bowed her head solemnly. "Truly, on this most momentous of occasions, there is only one viable course of action."
We all nodded along, at least until we all realized we were missing something. "Uh…" I raised a finger. "And that course of action would be?"
"Getting wasted, obviously!" Sandersonia whooped, pumping her fist.
SLAM!
The deck shook from our collective faceplant. Unfortunately, Sandersonia didn't wait for our reply, and as I stood, I saw only the literal tail end of her as she shot out the door and transformed so she could leap onto the Sunny. "I'll go and get some booze to get us started!"
"No, wait!" I shouted after her. "My crew doesn't know there's—!"
Too late. Sandersonia had already slithered up the side of the Sunny. Cue, of course, a cacophonous mix of shouting, crashing, combat, and… party poppers?
"…a friendly Zoan here…" I completed with a groan, glancing at Soundbite. "Dare I ask?"
"Everyone else didn't know whether to prepare for war or a party, so they prepped for both. NOT LIKE THEY'RE ACTUALLY DOING MUCH TO HER THOUGH, she's…" Soundbite's eyes widened in awe. "WOW, SHE'S AN UNDERLING? Sooo glad you stopped me from POTENTIALLY TICKING HER OFF!"
"Like forewarning would have made any difference? You're Cross's partner," Usopp noted dryly as he headed out towards the Sunny, most likely to stop any further waste of ammunition.
I sighed, exhaling the last of the lingering grief I had. "Well, that was… something. Anyway…" I shot a grateful look at my remaining accomplices. "Thanks, Tashigi, Koala. I needed that."
While Koala settled for snickering and flashing me a V-sign, Tashigi visibly hesitated, seeming to war with herself for a few seconds. Then she slumped in defeat, smiling back.
"What are friends for, Cross?"