"Aaagh, son-of-a…" Apoo groaned, rubbing the new bruise on his double-wide jaw. Though considering he was just punched clean through a table, a single bruise was both a pretty good outcome and the least of his worries.
"HA! You're worth 250,000,000!?" slurred his half-drunk adversary. Really, the opposing pirate captain wasn't that bad of a guy, but a few drinks had brought out a nastier side of him.
"'Soon as I finish wiping the ground with you… I'm gonna—"
Nastier than we can adequately describe if we want to keep this story T-rated, hence this extremely well-timed change of subject.
"Yo, Monkey. GOT A SEC?"
Apoo paused in his 'efforts' to right himself, tilting his head at the familiar montage of voices that reached his ears.
"Depends," he muttered back under his breath, hiding his mouth in the crook of one of his elbows. "Is this important?"
"HOW IMPORTANT DO YOU THINK IT IS that we just recruited Tiger? Ophiuchus is calling a general assembly, priority one. QUIT PLAYING WITH THE BUGS AND MOVE YOUR CABOOSE."
Apoo let out a sigh, a grin of resignation on his face. "Damn it, and we were so close to cleaning up on bets too…" he lamented. "Oh, well. OI!" Leaping to his feet, every prior sign of weakness and injury gone as if it'd never existed, he gestured at the room. "Change of plans, just rob 'em blind."
And before the bar's patrons could do more than blink stupidly, all the On-Air Pirates in the bar, both obvious and not, fell on them like a pack of starving baby Sea Kings.
"Well, that's what I get for trying to be subtle, I guess," Apoo sighed, as despondent as a guy could be when he was grinning like a loon and offhandedly swatting a guy with a chair from halfway across the room. "Anyway, where are we meeting, Knucker?"
"Head for The—eh? Ah, got it. CORRECTION: head THROUGH The Lucky Rabbit to REACH THE ISLAND'S—HEH!—HEADQUARTERS. Just show up to the front door, and The Skull Mists WILL SHOW YOU THE WAY IN."
Apoo grinned, glancing at the reformed building a stone's throw away from his current location. "I'll be right there."
-o-
The Lucky Rabbit was more than the nicest inn on the island; it was also the home and home base of the Skull Mist Pirates. Though they had recycled the location and much of the stone from Moria's manor, it bore no resemblance to what it had been before, save for a few scant remnants of the original architecture.
The rest was a pell-mell mess of wood and stone, a jagged, somewhat rounded base, the foundation for a veritable garden of towers. Each was uniquely majestic, and the greatest of them sat to the rear, hidden in plain sight.
When the Galley-La shipwrights and giants had first set foot on Skelter Bite, one of their first projects had been to painstakingly hollow out a section of Skelter Bite's main mast and then reinforce it with Adam wood and Wootz steel. The result of this was that hidden in the file storage of The Lucky Rabbit (and by extension, all of Skelter Bite's minarchist government) was a door to a hidden staircase, ascending which would lead one to a large room with the interior of the mast on one side, and Oars's skull on the other, the eye sockets granting aerial access and the ability to watch the entire island sight unseen.
This was the true Headquarters of Skelter Bite, and needless to say, its existence wasn't common knowledge.
Adorning the interior was all that the executives of an island such as this could ever need: a handful of lookout perches with mounted binoculars, a couple of file desks for more confidential paperwork, and a round central table the likes of which you would find in a war room. The most recent addition was a small farm of Transponder Snails, at least three each of black and white and a dozen or so normal ones.
Normally, at any given time, there would be around four Skull Mist Pirates on lookout duty, paperwork duty, or wiretapping duty, as required. Presently, however, many more individuals were coming into the room as the gathered outlaws answered Ophiuchus's call.
Some arrived faster than others—
"Apapa! Big Nose, long time no see!" Apoo saluted.
"Fehfehfeh! Back at you, Little Big Mouth!" Foxy waved back.
—due to already being inside or in close proximity to the inn below. The next ones to arrive, however, took a more… direct route of ascension, their arrivals heralded by a flutter of feathers and a howl of wind, itself accompanied by a panicked yelp.
"Whoa. Nice entrance, Callie," complimented Apoo, who was leaning his chair onto its rear legs, as a spark-shrouded Billy and his cloud-toting mistress came fluttered to a soft landing through one of the eyeholes.
"Copperhead, not so much," Foxy snickered. Vivi, still pulling herself out of the heap, her failed attempt to transition back from her aerial form to her physical one had left her in, gave him a rude gesture.
"You try keeping your powers straight when you're nursing a migraine at the same time, Goat," Vivi grumbled, massaging her skull. "Only took the medicine a second before Cross called us all up here." She then cracked an eye open to give him a half-serious glare. "And by the way, in case you forgot? I outrank you, so I can order you to take a long walk off a short pier without using my Will, and you'll still have to do it, so maybe treat me a bit nicer, m'kay?"
Foxy snickered and rubbed his finger under his nose in a manner most cocky. "As if you outranking anyone on the main crew matters that much?"
The room flashed with light, and everyone present instinctively flinched and looked to the source. "Were you just insulting my dear friend, unranked officer Foxy?" Nami deadpanned.
"N-Not a word, Second Mate Nami!" the Silver Fox yelped, nearly tumbling to the floor in his scramble to get into proper saluting form.
"That's what I thought. And Vivi, I've got some of Chopper's medicine on hand if you—need it," Nami hadn't even finished speaking before the container flew out of her hand and over to Vivi. Shaking her head, Nami dismounted Billy and approached the still-seated Apoo.
"Miss Weather Witch," the Long-Arm nodded respectfully, gracing the navigator with his usual ear-to-ear, piano-toothed grin. "Nice handling of your subordinate, it takes some real intimidation to put the fear of you in someone with minimal prompting!"
"Thanks for all the praise, 'Roar of the Seas.' Good to finally meet you in person," Nami nodded back respectfully, extending a hand.
"Oh, the pleasure is mine." His grin gleamed just so as he accepted the handshake.
For five seconds, both of them remained where they were, staring each other in the eyes with smiles on their faces and locked in a handshake. Then they held out their free hands, each one holding a wallet that was not theirs and had not been in their possession five seconds ago.
"I think you and I are going to get along just fine," Nami simpered.
"Oh, yes," Apoo grinned.
"Wait a minute…" Vivi muttered, patting her pockets. Her eyes widened to comical proportions. "Hey! That's my wallet!"
"And mine!" Foxy yelped. "Why the—! I thought you were going to pickpocket each other!?"
"Oh, we did," Nami purred, blatantly fishing another wallet out of Vivi's back pocket. "We just swapped our wallets with yours beforehand. Oldest thief-trick in the book, you see."
Apoo snickered, and Foxy's head met the table while Vivi massaged her brow feverishly. "How the hell even—?" the trickster captain started to groan.
"Only ask if you really want to know."
The subordinate captain's jaw snapped shut with a sharp click, and a haunted expression crept onto his face. "Never. Again."
"My, you can actually learn. That already puts you head and shoulders above Luffy."
"Uh… Nami, do you still want me here?" Billy asked tentatively. "I heard from Carue and Lassoo—"
"If you could go find Zoro and bring him here, then you can go," Nami replied. "Otherwise, we'll never get started."
Billy smiled and nodded before flapping off.
The room fell into a comfortable silence…
BANG!
For all of ten seconds.
"Stingy fuckmothering reptile wouldn't let me get in the cool way, swear I'm gonna—" Bartolomeo's grousing cut off as he took in the scene, and his usual toothy grin took hold. "Oh, hey, losers! Ladies!"
"Rooster, a pleasure to meet you at last," Foxy grinned, waving one hand in greeting. "And since you're here in person, I've been wanting to ask something for a while: those barriers of yours, are they capable of reflecting a—SLOW-SLOW BEAM!"
Bartolomeo reacted immediately, throwing up a barrier to block the slowmo photons. Which it did, deflecting them right back at Foxy. Who held up a mirror to deflect them back into the barrier.
"That would be a yes, excellent," Foxy drawled. "Don't suppose you could try trapping that light?"
Barty's annoyance faded into surprise. Then he folded his barrier around the photons and shrunk it down to the size of a baseball. A glowing baseball, just waiting to peg someone with the supernatural rays now held within. One eyebrow rose, and he regarded Foxy with a curious look.
"It pays to know what combination attacks are available between allies, you and Straw Hat showed that well against Shiki," Foxy answered the unspoken question, grinning. After a moment, Bartolomeo matched it.
"You're not wrong," the sharktooth noted, clapping the other pirate on his shoulder (and nearly pitching him into the table in the process) before eyeing the other male Supernova in the room. "Sorry to say that they can't block sound, though."
"Eh, you can't have a perfect combo with every two fruits," Apoo dismissively replied. "As it is, we'll just have to see about coordinating our mischief and mayhem. Anyway, go ahead and pull up a seat. We'll probably be waiting here for a while."
Bartolomeo duly did so, offhandedly tossing the barrier-ball out one of the eyeholes.
"…And what if that beam hits someone?" Nami asked, eyes narrowed.
"Then I will heartily regret not being able to point and laugh," was the shameless answer as Bartolomeo high-fived his neighbour.
There wasn't much of a great ceremony for most of the other arrivals; Billy arrived with Zoro a few minutes later, and for a few seconds it actually looked like he was going to consider staying—
"I was three drinks away from cleaning out the entire bar. You run away now."
—before he took Zoro's snarled advice, minus a few tail feathers.
Lola arrived next, ceding the head seat of the table for the first time since it was built and regarding everyone with a polite nod, and Merry wandered in a few minutes later. 'Wandered' being the operative word, seeing as she was nose-deep in a notebook and muttering furiously to herself even as she planted herself in a chair, completely oblivious to the world. Completely, that is, until the next arrival made itself known. Said arrival being somewhat… unexpected.
"Whoa, this place is cool!"
"LUFFY!?" demanded most of the room. The rubber man, hanging suspended in front of one of the eye holes, waved.
"Oh, hi, guys! What are you…" The Straw Hat Captain's waving slowly trailed off, his eyes widening in realization. "Oh, wait, is this one of those secret meeting things that Cross is in charge of and stuff?"
"I'm afraid so, Luffy. Though we're holding this one because Cross has apparently made another ally. You're welcome to stick around to meet them, if you want," Vivi offered.
Luffy frowned in thought, surprising the Straw Hats, and their surprise grew into concern when his face screwed up, and his head tilted in a clear sign of him really thinking about it. And then a familiar rumbling sound derailed the train of thought.
"Huuungryyy…" the Rubber-Man groaned, hanging his head. "Uuugh, nah, I can find out later. I'm gonna check to see if Hachi's got the takoyaki ready—"
"Actually, Luffy, the dining hall downstairs should satisfy you," Lola cut in smoothly, doing her best not to twitch as a rumble of thunder rolled from Nami's direction. "We've been stocking up on meat ever since we found out about the blockade."
She shrugged at the incredulous look the rest of the pirates shot her. "There was an even fifty-fifty chance of the Straw Hats blasting through the blockade, so we thought it best to prepare for the worst."
Luffy's eyes literally lit up, drool seeping from his mouth. "THANKS, LOLA! SEE YOU GUYS LA—"
"WAIT!"
Foxy's shout stopped everyone, and in that brief moment, he shot to his feet and scrambled over to the eye Luffy was still hanging from - at which point he bowed deep enough to touch his forehead to the floor.
"You saved Porche's life earlier," Foxy choked out. "Thank you for keeping her safe… Captain."
Luffy blinked at the long-nosed sub-Captain in blank confusion. "Eh? You don't need to thank me for that; it was nothing. I was just protecting my crew. I'm sure you'd do the same for all of your guys, too."
"Ah…" Foxy's apologetic demeanour broke out in cold sweat, his eyes darting about. "Ahem… all of them, right…"
Thankfully, Luffy wasn't around long enough to catch Foxy's slip, as he'd already let go of his grip and dropped towards the ground like a rubber meteor.
The island's new proprietress frowned as a thought hit her. "Okay, I realize he's hungry and a bit of an idiot, but he had better not—!"
Regretfully for Lola, the universe chose that moment to prove that some things were simply inevitable by completing her sentence with a telltale crashing sound.
"Ugghhh," she groaned again, massaging her temples before cracking an eye open at Nami.
"Put it on our tab," the redhead sighed.
"Good, because I just know he slammed through the piece of ceiling we just finished repairing after Kid was through with it."
"Feh, just ask their shipwright to do it; if what I've heard is right, he could have it fixed in the time it takes to blink," Foxy scoffed, taking his seat again.
"Not an exaggeration, I've seen him work miracles in the time I've been sailing with them," Bartolomeo sighed wistfully, stars twinkling in his eyes at the memory.
"Anyway," Zoro cut in. "Who are we waiting for besides Cross?"
"Well, I would say Robin, but she's already here in whatever capacity she's always here," deadpanned Merry, still not looking up from her notes. Not even the arm that materialized on top of her head to give everyone a jaunty wave before disintegrating drew a reaction.
"Besides her, the only other Mason on the island I can think of is Pisces, unless Anaconda decides to come too," Vivi noted. "Though, we should start calling the others to see if they're free."
"If they aren't, they had better have damn good excuses, because the loudmouth dragged us out of a good party for this," came a new voice. All present turned to the entrance to see Boa Sandersonia in her hybrid form slither in through one of the skull's eye holes, with Tashigi, Koala, and Popora on her back. She shifted back into human form immediately before staring down at the two of them.
"And for the record, that is the first and last time I act like a Yuda Palanquin Bearer without charging for it," she deadpanned in the same tone of voice that had just interrupted.
"Thank you for the ride, regardless," Tashigi bit out before drawing Shigure. "But seeing as I feel better and I don't think too many people have seen me, I've had just about enough of this nonsense."
One solid swipe broke the wooden cast around her leg clean in two, and another cut the eyepatch clean from her face. She sighed in relief before limping over to the table and sitting down, an action which Sandersonia mirrored.
"…I'm sorry, but going by who that is, does that mean that the person being considered for the Snake seat is Boa freaking Hancock of the Seven Warlords?!" Foxy demanded.
"And if all goes well, she'll be taking that seat sooner rather than later," Sandersonia confirmed, crossing her arms. "I'll explain to everyone later, but for now, let's just say that there is no love lost between the World Government and us, and my sister's 'leash' is more of a choke chain. Any issues with that?" The round of no's that circled the table could not have come faster. "Didn't think so."
"So, this is the motley crew that Cross has put together so far?" Koala mused, looking over the assembled pirates from her position leaning on the back of Sandersonia's chair. "I am both impressed at what he's managed, and in despair of the idea that you mugs are one of the best hopes the world has for getting out from under the World Government. Well done."
"Yep, we're rude, crude, and completely ragtag." Barto leaned back in his seat, his arms folded behind his head, and his grin widened a few molars. "In other words, we're a shoo-in to win!"
"And as for whoever the heck you are… I'm guessing that you're Tiger?" Apoo asked.
"Ha!" the cap-wearing young woman barked, slapping the table. "No, nono, no. No, my name—not my codename—is Koala." She flashed a sharp grin as she jabbed her thumb at herself. "I'm the Revolutionary Army's contact with the New World Masons, i.e., you, and Cross was insistent that I join in on this meeting, so this is probably big."
Everyone stiffened at that news, and the tension ratcheted up another notch.
Said tension dissipated a bit when Lola pointedly coughed into her fist. "Alright, and I take it that that's Popora?"
Said hybrid nodded before taking his seat against a corner of the room, looking around the gathered individuals with a guarded expression and his back to the wall. None was particularly eager to provoke the easily provokable memory manipulator.
"Then that's everyone on the island apart from Cross," she nodded sagely, standing up and heading over to pick up one of the room's Transponder Snails. "So let's see who's available off it."
A few rings later, and Lola quickly informed the remaining Masons of the importance of the meeting—significant, but not world-shatteringly so. The responses were, in general, somewhat mixed.
Dorry was available from Ox, while Broggy focused on coordinating the remaining Giant Warriors on Water 7.
"Sure thing, I'm in! GEGYAGYAGYA!"
Perona expressed her sincerest of apologies, undoubtedly fueled by the paint-stripping glare Lola was giving her the entire time, but swiftly vacated the line.
"That sounds really interesting, Bun—ah! R-Rabbit, I said Rabbit! But, I, uh… Oh, what's that, Mister Fluffy? You and Mister Snippy are having a fight? I'll be right there! So sorry, but this is too important, gotta run, send me the minutes!"
Calling Smoker came with an unexpected benefit: "Yeah, I'm here, and so is Capricorn. We've been saddled with holding these jagoffs in formation. We'll try and stay out of your way, but seeing as we actually need to keep our jobs, don't expect any miracle gateways. And as for you, Pisces? I expect a thorough report upon your return."
"With all due respect, sir, you have no idea what the hell I've been through, so bite me," Tashigi snapped.
"…Cross really got you this time, didn't he?"
"Hrumph," Popora grunted in agreement.
"Thought so. Just leave him alive, Tashigi."
"He'll live," she assured him with a frigid smile. "He just won't live well."
And finally…
"I am available to attend," T-Bone wheezed. "However, I regret to inform you that neither Sagittarius nor Aquarius will be joining us; I am currently stationed in Marineford, and it seems that Sengoku has been running inventory on Marine assets, coordinating with the two of them quite intensely. Through that, they are providing cover for my attendance in this meeting, and rest assured, I will relay any important information that is shared."
And with that, the Masons all fell into patient and polite conversation (as much as possible for those involved, anyway), until finally, several additional minutes later, the door finally opened again and with minimal fanfare—only the lesser half of a brass band blasting the air—in walked Jeremiah Cross, Soundbite on his shoulder. He surveyed the gathered individuals—giving a particularly wide grin to Apoo, which the Long Arm mirrored with a grin and a salute of his own—and nodded in satisfaction.
"Alright. Everyone else here already?"
"Everyone else has been here for the last fifteen minutes, Cross," Smoker grunted impatiently. "And since this is too much fanfare even for you, I'm guessing that this is more than just recruiting a new Mason."
"Much more. But first things first." Turning to the last person anyone expected, Cross swept his cap off his head and held it over his heart. "Tashigi, you have my sincerest apologies."
The pirate-suited Marine leaned away from the Voice of Anarchy, eyes narrowed. "…why do the words I've been wanting to hear from you the entire time I've known you fill me with nothing but dread?"
"Because I was wrong."
Tashigi's grimace deepened. "And more dread in place of joy. Wrong about what!?"
Cross resecured his cap and dragged the brim down to shadow his eyes. "Remember what I told you about Flevance? For once, the old adage was way off; Funkfreed just told me that the actions can't be attributed to stupidity because they were, in fact, straight-up malice."
That slowly sank in, and the tension grew to a breaking point. Vivi in particular looked ready to stab a bitch, but naturally, it was Tashigi who exploded first.
"They burned the island on purpose?!" she snarled, shooting out of her seat with a hand actively strangling Shigure's hilt. "WHY!?"
"Same reason as last time."
Tashigi's eye twitched furiously. "Oh, for the love of—who did they want to kill this time?!"
Right on cue, the door opened again behind Cross, and the last member to join the meeting stepped inside.
"Me," Trafalgar Law intoned. "Any objections to me grabbing a chair?"
And lo and behold, there were none to be had, and so Law and Cross took their seats, Law settling for a normal one and Cross, at Lola's prompting, circling around to sit at the head of the table.
Once seated, the Surgeon of Death took a cursory glance around the table. "So. These are the people who've assembled to fight the World Government, huh?" With his customary smirk, Law leaned back and rested his feet on the table. "Now I see why you wanted me to join."
While several at the table sputtered, Bartolomeo just cocked a brow and took the mid-par insult in stride. "So, how much of that is for the reaction and how much of your own shit do you really believe?"
"Eh..." Law wobbled his hand. "About even, to be honest."
Barto grinned savagely. "Oh, we are gonna be real good friends."
"For those of us who aren't there to put a face to the voice, who is that and why should we care?" Smoker grunted.
"As I said, I'll keep your secrets as long as you want me to," Cross breathed without moving his lips.
Law glanced at him in acknowledgment before answering. "'Surgeon of Death' Trafalgar Law, Captain of the Heart Pirates."
"Ahh. We have much to discuss, it seems," T-Bone spoke up.
"Less than you'd think," Law waved his hand dismissively. "Cross told me about his story on the way over here, and he mentioned that he wanted me on board for months. So I assume you already know about me."
"After a fashion." The grim-faced Captain adopted a vicious scowl. "I was only informed of you because apparently, you have a stronger grudge than I against one Vice Admiral Vergo."
Law slowly moved his feet off the table, sitting up straight and staring at the snail with narrowed eyes. "…what did he do to you?" Law asked quietly.
T-Bone's scowl deepened into an expression promising outright murder. "He orchestrated the slaughter of my brothers in arms, my entire fleet, for protesting a crusade of senseless violence. Not out of any sense of malice, but exclusively so he could further his own position in the Marines. I survived by sheer luck, and the incident left me scarred in more ways than one; only over the past few months have I begun to heal the disfiguration inflicted upon my mind."
Law's eyes narrowed, almost closing as he took in T-Bone's words.
"…If you get the chance to take his head before I do, it's yours," the pirate conceded. Then, from one second to the next, the shadows over Law's hat deepened, and his eyes became lanterns of death. "But make no mistake: his boss is mine…" Law clicked an inch of his blade from his sheath. "And if anyone touches him before I do—"
"Ahem," Cross, Nami, Merry, and Zoro all coughed heavily into their fists, giving the Heart Pirate Captain a flat stare.
Law considered them for a moment before sighing in defeat. "—aside from Straw Hat-ya…" And just like that his deadly demeanour was back. "Then I will leave you in a state where you will consider death to be the ultimate mercy."
"Quite understood," T-Bone replied.
"I feel the need to re-emphasize, Tiger: the process won't be fast," Cross spoke up, balancing his head on his fist and tapping his fingers on the table.
"Then I'll ask you to elaborate, 'Ophiuchus'," Law coolly responded, turning his pitiless eyes on the Masons' Warden. "You know as well as I do that the only reason I've kept living for the last eleven years is to make Donquixote Doflamingo pay for what he did."
There was a stirring around the table at that little tidbit. Cross cut through it by waving his hands placatingly and heaving a patient sigh.
"Alright, might as well head off the demands for full disclosure before they start. Not like we're not seriously flush for time anyway." The Voice of Anarchy frowned and folded his hands before his face. "Settle in and steel your stomachs, for the biography of the Heavenly Yaksha is not for the faint of heart. This all starts… uhhh…"
Cross had to take a second to grimace and count on his fingers uncertainly; supernatural memory revival aside, he'd never paid particular attention to the time frames, meaning those memories were slightly slower to jump to the fore than the rest.
"Thirty… thr—nono, thirty-one years ago." He frowned grimly once again. "Thirty-one years ago, when the World Noble Donquixote Homing made a most momentous decision, out of the legitimate goodness of his heart… a decision that would inadvertently lead to the misery and suffering of entire nations."
-o-
Law's expression was mutinous as I ran through the perils of the life and times of the Donquixote Famiglia, including but not limited to the origin of the demon in pink feathers, his rise to his position of 'Prince of Darkness', his liberal and sadistic application of the Hobby-Hobby Fruit, the fruits of the rest of his executives, and the true nature of the Tragedy of Dressrosa.
Several times over the history lecture, especially when I recapped Corazon's death, I was worried he'd lash out, and after I was done, that worry lasted for a straight minute as he sat in too-tense silence. But after that minute, he sagged and sighed. "Alright, Cross… fine. You were right, I was going into this… less than fully cocked. How many more years do you expect it'll take before we're ready?"
"Two," I immediately answered. "Assuming, of course, that everyone here intends to grow stronger over the entire course of that time."
"Of course," Law replied without hesitation, relaxing a bit more. "Two years… I can wait that much longer. Two years is nothing."
"And that should be ample time for us to plan the assault," Hina nodded in agreement. "However, if that is all we have to discuss regarding our newest member…" She paused long enough to ensure that it was everything, which I indicated with a nod, before continuing. "What else did you call us together for, Cross?"
"That's something that's better saved for last; it's going to take a lot of discussion to hammer out the details, and the end result?"
If the way everyone watching me shivered at my grin was anything to go by, then I was certainly doing something right.
"Almost certainly more earthshaking than the entire Enies Lobby debacle. So, if anyone else has any business, let's get that out of the way first."
Looks of apprehension and eagerness were exchanged by everyone in the room—including Law, I was privately pleased to admit—and after a few more seconds, T-Bone coughed and spoke.
"Jormungandr reported yesterday that their present assignment is nearly complete; of the eight public Cipher Pols, only CP1 remains. Though really, they needn't have bothered reporting that because Sengoku has made his displeasure with the situation increasingly clear. And on a personal note, my apprentice is improving rather rapidly; she was promoted to Seagirl Apprentice, and Boss Kabuto has alleviated our concerns regarding his dietary needs by starting to fish for Sea Kings on his own, with an increasing degree of success."
"Things are going well on our end as well!" Dorry laughed eagerly. "The progress of converting Water 7 has accelerated over the last three months, since we have a proof of concept and an extensive guide on what not to do in Skelter Bite. According to Iceburg, what Moria pulled was rough as hell, sure, and the islands are way different, especially since we'll already have a city on ours. But he says it's a big help either way, and he's been telling us where to dig and stuff, so progress is apparently good. I'd say a year, maybe two, and the city should be shipshape! Heh, might even manage to back you up with Dressrosa!"
"Mmm… no offence, but I'm honestly skeptical about that," I lamented. "There are only two ways to cross the Red Line, and I can't see an island-sized ship pulling off either of them."
"I wouldn't be so sure, Cross," Lola said, grinning. "I know a thing or two about coating ships, and one of our active projects is working on a way to submerge all of Skelter Bite. We do want to be able to see Luffy become King in person, after all."
I stared at Lola, blinking dumbly, before hanging my head with a fond sigh. "My apologies, my lingering sanity balked at the idea of an island-ship passing through the Red Line. I've since recalled how much weight the word 'impossible' has now, though."
"Heheh, rookie…" Apoo chuckled, though he quickly sobered up when I shot a look at him, backed up by Soundbite growling from my shoulder. "And, ah, well, b-besides that… we've been having some good luck with setting up the Free Feather Report. Got a printing press and roosts set up on my own ship, and I've gotten in touch with friends of mine up and down the Blues to set up bases for the Report, island and ship-bound alike."
The Roar of the Seas nodded and sat back in his chair, arms double-folded. "The Coos are ready to ditch the WEJ at a moment's notice, but we can't start production quite yet because we need to set up distribution routes and safehouses and stuff. Can't use their old ones without risking the World Government tracking them down and shooting them, after all. But!" He clapped his hands together and started rubbing them—and his extra forearms—together eagerly. "We are making excellent progress. I think we'll be spreading the truth via the written word within the month, two max."
I shot Apoo a thumbs-up. "Should be all kinds of fun," I said. Then I turned to the most senior of the Damned. "Now, judging by your second ship, I take it that you've increased your total crew substantially."
"FEHFEHFEHFEHFEH! Second ship? We're collecting so many crews, I'm planning to head over to Water Seven after this to add the Lead Foxy to accompany the Brass! Though…" Foxy hedged, wobbling his hand. "I'll admit that total's been inflated by the crews that all but threw themselves at our feet to avoid getting recruited by Shiki. They all just knew you guys were going to fight him and wanted no part of that. I'm letting them cool their heels for now, but once a few start making noises about cutting ties or it becomes obvious they don't work out, I'll let those go. As it is, though, our numbers are quite good; we're approaching an even thousand at a healthy pace."
"Excellent. Your next priority will be increasing quality instead. You've been recruiting the best, so work on making them even better," I said.
Foxy didn't hesitate to nod and smirk.
"Alright. And Cancer, what's the latest statistic for corrupt Marines and fake pirates?"
"Well, to start with the 'fake pirates'—" And man, you could really hear the air quotes there. "Their activity has been decreasing ever since Shiki's defeat. At this point, in the first half of the Grand Line… I can't believe I'm saying this, but they've practically disappeared. Still a few idiots here and there, obviously, but the decrease is ridiculous…"
"'Fake pirates.' Tch." I rolled my eyes as Law made no mystery of his disbelief. "I actually told Bepo there was no way you meant everything that comes out of your mouth, but are you telling me that you really buy that particular brand of shit you spout?"
I snapped my finger to keep anyone from barking in anger, then gave our newest member a flat look. "Tiger, a quick question: who exactly taught you the definition of 'pirate' that you're using?"
Law barely opened his mouth before his jaw snapped shut and his face slowly turned red. What emotion caused it, I couldn't tell you, save that it was steadily ticking Doffy's account ever higher.
"Meanwhile," I continued, leaning back in my seat with a chuckle. "Our definition of who a pirate should be comes from Luffy's mentor. You know, the Emperor?"
"KINDA OUTRANKS YER SOURCE~!" Soundbite sang before cocking an eyestalk. "Though, now that I think about it… Seriously, who'd you EXPECT TO FIND ON AN ISLAND LIKE THIS?"
"Weaklings and idealistic morons, with a few people actually worth a damn scattered throughout," he answered without hesitation.
"Harsh!" Lola piped up with an unflinching grin. "And also not entirely untrue, so whatever." She then glanced at the snail. "But still, speaking of how clean we like to keep our streets…?"
"Capricorn informs you that the high-ups do not like that they're having this newfound success thanks in no small part to turncoat Marines and other pirates… but Skelter Bite's tip line has led to so many more arrests that they don't have a choice but bite their tongues. So for now, Capricorn advises you to keep up the good work."
"Though of course," Tashigi added with a frown. "That doesn't mean that anyone else has to know why we're having so much more success, does it?"
"Trust me," Smoker scoffed. "No chance of that ever happening without Long-Arm getting creative with his writing, or us finding the right patsy. Sengoku made it clear to both the troops and that overgrown birdbrain Morgan that if one word of this ever slips out to the world, he'll have him and his source shot where they stand… honestly, it's actually allowed us to patch several leaks." A grimace. "Some of which we really should have caught sooner."
"And for the record, we Marines have fully acknowledged that our shit is not in order, so Capricorn would appreciate it if nobody asked us to elaborate," Hina added, her 'appreciate' coming across loud and clear as 'will make you regret'. "But that aside, Capricorn believes that is everything?"
For a moment, I honestly thought that it was. But then…
"Not quite," Boa Sandersonia suddenly cut in, running a hand back over her head. "Not. Not quite. I…" She hissed out a heavy breath, tongue flicking out to taste at the air. "There's something I need to say. Really should say, I guess."
The verdette shook her head slightly and straightened in her seat, her expression flinty and determined. "The reason that we've been unwilling to commit fully to you all before now is that we thought it was too much of a risk. There were so many lives on the line if it all went wrong, ours and others'. But… the entire time I've been on this island, I've been… pretty much partying. Drinking, unwinding. And that might sound like pure irresponsibility to you, but to me? It is literally the most relaxed I've been in years. The first time in… as long as I can remember that I've ever been able to actually let myself breathe free while I'm on my own.
"And thinking about it, I realize that a big part of why I was able to do that was thanks to you. It's taken this long to sink in, but I get it now: we're allies, we don't have to stand alone. And… I think that, now, even if we are eventually wiped out… it'll have been to stand for something important instead of just being put down like another pirate dog."
Sandersonia ran her hand through her hair again before nodding firmly, baring her fangs. "My sisters are probably going to kick my tail for this later, but you all deserve to know, so here's the truth: My name is Boa Sandersonia, and my sister, Cobra, is Boa Marigold. And our third sister, whose seat of 'Snake' we've been tentatively filling until now… is Boa Hancock, the Pirate Empress, Captain of the Kuja Pirates, and Queen of Amazon Lily."
Silence. And then…
"Called it," Foxy smugly stated.
"You and your damn information network…" Apoo growled, reaching into his pocket and tossing out a sizeable roll. "Here. Take it, you damn bloodsucker."
Grinning, Foxy took the money. He immediately tossed it out the window, a disgusted look on his face. "With actual bills, dammit, not counterfeit!"
"Fucking smartass bloodsucker…"
"Hina misses the days when the world made sense…"
"And people wonder why I blow through a crate of smokes a month."
"You really do need a better hobby, Commodore."
"I don't want to hear it, Captain 'Logistics is seriously considering discontinuing capes entirely'."
"Grk…"
"Best part is that I actually brought 'em in myself," Barto leered, crossing his arms behind his head as he kicked up his feet on the table. "So if we get a Warlord on our side, it's all on me!"
Merry glanced up from her notebook with an oh so innocently cocked eyebrow. "Weren't you destined to be gravel if Cross hadn't changed her mind?"
"… shut up!"
"The height of wit and sophistication as ever, Rooster," Nami chuckled to herself.
Sandersonia blinked numbly. "And… we are just accepting that and moving right along, apparently."
"In case you've forgotten, this operation recruits islands on a regular basis, and technically, they already have a Warlord in their midst," Koala hummed, happily swaying side to side behind the snake-Zoan. "So, either present an Emperor or move along."
"…"
"Thought so."
"Right, then," I said, letting my mirth show on my face once more. "If that's all that we have, let's get started. And I assure you, what I'm about to say? You are not going to be able to shrug off."
I leaned forward, and my skull-splitting grin prompted everyone else to lean back.
"Let me tell you all about it… my plan to flip the world." A pause. "Again."
Everyone's full attention was on me, waiting with bated breath for me to speak.
"Puru puru puru puru!"
And then a snail rang, drawing scowls and breaking the tension… right up until they realized that it was Soundbite ringing. Tashigi's ire was the first to fade, giving way to guarded curiosity.
"You don't give out Soundbite's number lightly. Who is that?" she asked.
"Hopefully, a key contact in my plan," I answered smoothly. "Sorry that I'll have to save explaining for a little while longer, but if this is who I hope it is, I'll need to have a nice, long talk about extraterritorial jurisdiction. Excuse me for a minute, I'd hate to ruin the surprise."
As Soundbite shielded us with noise, I picked up the receiver, but even as I began conversing with the person on the other end, Soundbite made sure I heard Tashigi's muttered remark of fear and incredulity.
"…how is it that he can even make political jargon sound terrifying?"
-o-
Several stories below, outside of The Lucky Rabbit, much less earthshaking events were occurring.
"Nyuuu…"
"Yeah, I get ya," Pappug sighed, the snail he was using eyeing the unspeakable carnage in front of him. "I mean, we're selling a lot, which is great… but it's all going down one gullet. Short-term gain, long-term loss."
"And on top of that, we're probably going to run out before anyone else drops by…"
"Don't worry about that, Kuroobi and Chew are prepping another batch as we speak."
"Mmm…" Hachi hummed, not particularly reassured.
"And I sent Camie off to buy ingredients in town."
"Nyu—" Hachi began to groan.
"With one of the Skull Mist Pirates as an escort."
"Oh. That's all right, then," Hachi said, relaxing a bit more. For all of two seconds. "Ah! Luffy, wait, that's a plate, not food!"
Seamlessly, Luffy slid the plate out of his mouth… cleaned of every scrap of food, of course. Several more bills, grumbles, and punches were traded between the watching crowd that had assembled outside of The Lucky Rabbit; the vast majority of said bills were headed into the register, bound to the chest of a comb-touting duck-hybrid.
At the moment, the Straw Hats had all assembled from their various escapades across the newly founded pirate utopia to await the return of Cross and their officers, along with any news of the meeting and when it would occur. They'd even been joined by some (or at least, one) of the Barto Club officers while they waited. All of the Straw Hats were in good cheer… though not necessarily all in good health.
"Mmph-mph-mmmph-mph?" Raphey asked… or attempted to ask, anyway. The swath of bandages being tied around her had rendered her a little muffled.
"'You're actually fine with Nami making you do that?' That's what she asked," Apis translated offhandedly, far more enraptured with the spectacle/horror show/event that was Luffy continuing his demolition of Hachi's stock.
"Huh?" Billy looked up from his betting in confusion before grinning shyly. "Oh, no, no, Nami's not making me do this, I'm just doing it for her, is all. I might not have known her long, but I know that this would make her happy!…it… it will make her happy, right?"
"Mmph-MMPH-mmmph-mmph," Donny mumbled out through his own bandages.
"'Only if you've gotten the odds right and turn a profit,' he said."
"He has, he's making money wing over talon," Chopper nodded sagely as he continued binding up his crewmate. The reindeer then cocked his eyebrow at his patients. "Now, what have we all learned today?"
"Mmph-mmph-mmmmph-mmph…" was the general droning of the mummified TDWS.
"Yes, exactly: 'do not attack people you know to be leagues above your weight class like morons'," Chopper nodded sagely in agreement.
"Actually, what they said was—" Apis began, before hastily coughing into her fist when Chopper shot her a look. "Ah, no, on second thought, you got that exactly right."
"For their sakes, it had better be…" Sanji huffed without looking up from the stand's griddle. At least, until he gave Luffy a curious look. "By the way, Luffy, when you passed by the Headquarters, did Lola tell you when the meeting was going to happen?"
"Mmph-mmph—!" the Rubber-man tried, his mouth clogged by another plate of fried octo-flesh.
"For the record, because he's only monkey-like and not actually a monkey, I can't tell you what he's saying," Apis deadpanned.
Sanji huffed, rolled his eyes and snapped his leg up and rammed his foot into Luffy's distended mouth, collapsing the mass within with a resounding crack.
For a moment, everything froze as everyone stared at Luffy, awaiting his response… and then he swallowed everything that was in his mouth and spat his (uninjured) tongue out. "Gross! Sanji! You know I hate China! It doesn't taste as good as porcelain!"
WHAM!
Even in a place such as Skelter Bite, there was a limit to how much nonsense the denizens could tolerate without face-faulting. Aside from the other Straw Hats, of course.
"Luffy."
"Mm?" Luffy blinked at his cook before chuckling and rubbing the back of his head. "Oh, right! Yeah, I totally forgot to ask, so I have no idea. Sorry!"
"Typical…" the cook groaned in dismay.
Meanwhile, the other, multi-limbed chef was staring at his customer with a vicious twitch in his eye.
"He… He just ate a plate. And he's not even hurt. How in the—!?"
"Well, waste not, as they say," Pappug dryly remarked, sounding visibly distracted.
"Mmph, my one pet peeve might be making sure nobody wastes food, but even I find this ridiculous…" Sanji groused, before glancing at the snail the starfish's voice was coming from. "And by the way, Pappug, where are you? We could use an extra set of hands here!"
"Sorry, I'm at my workbench back on Takoyaki 8, working on the finishing touches for this express order. And not the food kind. I'll be there as soon as I'm done."
"Nyu…" Hachi sighed, hanging his head. "Well, if you're doing actual work, then it can't be helped. Just hurry up, and make sure our workers don't slack, alright?"
"You got it. Be there in fifteen, boss."
"Well, at least it won't just be us, then," Sanji pointed out.
"Nyuuu… maybe, but that still doesn't change the fact that it's only Luffy who's eating!" Hachi moaned. "I'd give two arms for just one more customer!"
"Tell you what: Put 'em in your next batch and you have a deal!"
Sanji's eyes widened fractionally, and his cigarette fell out of slack lips to impact in the dirt below, on account of a female voice hitting his eardrums. Meanwhile, Luffy drew a lot of attention by doing the one thing he never did: he stopped eating, glancing up from his plate of takoyaki at the cart's newcomer.
Then, as they were wont to do, the hearts in Sanji's eyes sprang to life and, brandishing his knife, he spun into a boneless pirouette, which prompted Luffy to shrug and go back to his devouring.
"Right away, beautiful la—!"
"Get your head in the game!" Hachi snapped, smacking the love cook upside the head with his ladle.
Rubbing the back of his head, Sanji muttered, "Right, sorry," and went back to work, though he kept stealing glances at the new customer. "So, what can I get you, my dear, wonderful, beautiful—?" Sanji's expression faltered ever so slightly as he realized that said new customer was hunched over the cart's counter and sporting a sizeable amount of wrinkles. But nevertheless, he managed to finish ever so smoothly with a respectful "Madam?"
"Well—!"
"Oh, I would say that anything halfway edible would be a safe bet, Sanji," came Robin's cool drawl as she leaned on the bar near the chef and rested her chin on her palm. "I would suggest that you prepare for her as though you were preparing for Luffy: exceptional appetite, unexceptional taste. Isn't that right… 'Glutton' Jewelry Bonney?"
The crone blinked once, twice, and then threw her head back and laughed, her age melting away to reveal the form of the second female Supernova, as well as the only female captain in their number, the bubblegum-haired, well-pierced 'Glutton' Jewelry Bonney.
"ZAZAZAZAZA! Oh, man, the SBS wasn't exaggerating you guys at all! I mean, c'mon, do you know how many asshats can recognize me when I ain't wearing my face?! Nice one! Real nice!" Abruptly, the laughter ended, and Bonney favoured Sanji and Hachi with a look as serious as a nuclear winter. "But yeah, for real, I've survived the last week on water, hardtack, and salt pork. I want all the takoyaki you can make as fast as you can make it. Need a little snack to tide me over before really digging into whatever slop is served on this island. So no offence to ya?"
There was a blur of motion, and Hachi flinched back as Bonney slammed her boot-clad heel on the cart's countertop.
"But if I don't like what I get, I'll save you both the trouble of havin' to worry about the blockade by kicking you over the Red Line."
Sanji took that for the challenge that it was, rolling up his sleeves and giving Hachi a wry look. "I'll tell you this, octopus: if you can walk away from this island and say that your stand managed to satisfy or at least tide over the two biggest stomachs of this generation, that'll be all the long-term gain that you need."
Hachi's eyes lit up, and his lips split into a grin, even as Luffy and Bonney exchanged their own glances. The crowd shivered in anticipation as fire and lightning flew between the two big eaters' eyes. Sanji chuckled.
"Pappug? Whatever order are those two in? Tell them to double it."
"Oh, seabiscuits," Pappug groaned; he didn't need to be there, didn't need to see as Hachi and Sanji began stockpiling more takoyaki than they put out, didn't need to observe the audience's eagerness to know how much trouble was coming.
The ship's guards were present to observe the start of the Supernovas' clash, and though Boss stuck around to observe, his four disciples took the opportunity to abscond elsewhere; no small reason for that being that Mikey had 'subtly' voiced (read: fearfully mumbled) his worry that if the cooks ran out of octopoid flesh, they'd be next. And while all of them wanted to shrug the jokester's words off, Sanji's joking remarks about dipping into their 'emergency food supplies' had pushed their survival instincts a little too far, prompting them to quietly head for a less populated setting.
As it turned out, the other side of The Lucky Rabbit's plaza was mercifully deserted, save for a pair of familiar faces.
Or rather…
"THERE YOU ARE! WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOREVER!"/"Indeed, even my most luxurious feathers were starting to ruffle from lying dormant for so long."
Beaks, as it were.
The Dugongs tried to question their presence, but abandoned the effort after a moment due to their bandages.
"Hello, boys," Isaiah greeted smoothly, sweeping his wing out in a polite wave. "I hope we're not catching you at a bad time, but we have a special delivery."
None of the dugongs said anything, too busy staring at his companion, and the Swagger-tribe South Bird's collected demeanour cracked into a disgruntled scowl.
"Don't ask him. It's not worth it. Please, for the love of sanity and my immaculately chiselled complexion, do not ask him why—"
"I'M GLAD YOU ASKED!" Terry roared in his usual fashion. As opposed to the unusual fashion he was wearing, consisting of two belts of shotgun shells around his chest and a bandanna around his head. "BECAUSE WE'RE HERE INCOGNITO, I'M DOING MY BEST TO BE POWERFULLY SUBTLE! WHILE WE SPEAK, CALL ME HALE CAESAR!"
Attention turned ever so slowly to the other South Bird, whose beak was buried in his wing.
Overcome with curiosity, Mikey yanked down the bandages covering his mouth because he just had to ask. "And you are?"
"Embarrassed to be seen with him. Obviously."
"Obviously, obviously," the Teenage Dugong Warrior Squad parroted, nodding sagely as though such a statement were the most obvious thing in the world. Which, frankly, was not inaccurate.
"OH, SHUT UP, YOU WEAK-BEAKED BLOWHARDS!" 'Caesar' squawked indignantly.
"We don't have beaks," the collectively demuffled Dugongs deadpanned.
"And I am not weak," Isaiah stated just as flatly, leaning in close to glare at his partner-in-wing. "Would you like me to remind you of that fact?"
"…SO LIKE HE SAID, WE HAVE A DELIVERY FOR YOU! AND BY YOU—" Here, Terry jabbed his wing at the Dugongs. Or rather, one of the Dugongs. "I MEAN YOU!"
Leo blinked in surprise, looking around for a second before pointing at his own muzzle. "You… You mean me?"
"Precisely," Isaiah nodded sagely, cocking his brow ever so handsomely. "To confirm, you are the only blade-wielder on your crew without a high-quality blade that matches your skill level, yes?"
"Uhh…" Leo hedged. "I mean, I don't know about Brook's, but—"
"It's lasted for fifty years, I think he's good. Anyway?" Donny cut in, rolling his flipper.
The birds exchanged looks, then began flapping their wings. Their perch, an overturned rowboat converted into a bench, tilted back ever so slightly to reveal a black bundle beneath. Taking the obvious hint, Leo grabbed it and looked it over as the birds re-settled, then unwrapped the package's cover. Then he nearly fumbled what he was holding, a strangled gurgle matching the rest of his siblings' gasps.
"Holy mother of pearl!" Donny hissed.
"No freaking way!" Raphey yelped.
"Th-Those are—! Uh…?" Mikey's shock faded into confusion, head tilted. "Wait, remind me, what were these things called again?"
"Oto… and Kogarashi…" Leo inadvertently answered with a reverential whisper, gently ghosting his flipper over the mirrored triangular blades of the literally legendary swords he was holding. Then, with great reluctance, the sword-dugong tore his gaze away from the weapons he was worshipping to stare at the South Birds in total confusion. "But-But, how!? Luffy and Bartolomeo knocked them out of Shiki's hands! These should still be at the bottom of the sea!"
"Simply a matter of a particularly skilled fisherman looking in the right place," Isaiah said, before grimacing and shuddering. "You'll have to forgive the tardiness of the delivery, but the hilts were nothing short of revolting; new sheaths had to be fashioned—"
"HERE YOU GO!" Terry offered, tossing another bundle at Leo's… well, tail.
"And of course, we had to treat them properly so that they could handle extended bouts of underwater combat without adverse effects," Isaiah concluded with a proud flip of his plumage. "You're welcome."
"A-A-And… what, Jonathan's just giving these to us? To me?!" Leo squawked incredulously, his jaw hanging slack. "I-I mean, if Tashigi finds out that I have these things, she'll—!"
"She was informed of the decision several weeks ago," Isaiah assured him. "She was livid, of course, but a hefty dose of rank-pulling served to cool her temper." The bird then cocked his feather-brow. "Of course, you could always just give them to her—"
"I've had these swords in my flippers for less than five minutes, but if you even try and touch them, I will kill everyone on this island and then myself," Leo droned emotionlessly, prompting his fellow dugongs to give him a wide berth.
"WELL, I WAS GOING TO ASK IF YOU LIKED THEM, BUT NOW I'M JUST GOING TO FLEE!" Terry squawked, flapping into the air. "I MIGHT BE POWERFUL, BUT I'M SURE NOT STUPID!"
Isaiah nodded before joining his fellow avian in the air. "I'm not sure I agree with the last part of that. But for now, farewell and good slicing, Straw Hats! My final gift to you is that you get to watch my glorious tailfeathers ripple in the wind as I depart."
"NEVER FORGET TO EXHIBIT YOUR OVERWHELMING POWER!" And with their beaks pointing firmly to the south, the two birds vanished north into the golden mists.
The dugongs silently stared after them until Mikey blew out a snort. "Well, they're still out of their minds."
"Thank you, Captain Obvious," Raphey shot back. "Did you expect anything else?"
Mikey scoffed and folded his flippers. "The Spanish Inquisition, of course."
"NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!"
"GAAAH!" Mikey screamed, leaping half the height of the inn. Terry, now somehow clad in scarlet robes and perched right above the dugong, nodded in satisfaction before flying off again.
Leo briefly gave his panicking brother in blubber a decidedly unimpressed stare, then turned his reverential gaze back down to the swords, the legends he was holding. He hefted the weapons in his flippers, testing their weight and examining their shapes.
"Well, I certainly won't deny that those beasts are an upgrade over these geezers," Raphey whistled, pulling Leo's now-defunct blades off of his back and replacing them with Oto and Kogarashi's new sheaths. "At least now you'll be able to give us an actual challenge during sparring time."
"After an adjustment period, anyway…" Donny mused, curiously scanning the swords' shape. "You're used to katanas, and those sabres had the same general shape, but… These things are much heavier and much less flexible. You've got the muscle for it, but do you have the know-how?"
"Mm… at the moment, no… but I think I can figure it out," Leo nodded to himself, tilting the blades side to side and spinning them around in his flippers, getting a feel for the balance. "After all, Boss is all about us learning as much as we can, every second of every day, and it's not like we won't be here for a while. Really, it shouldn't be too tough. All it takes is a little elbow grease and—!" Leo swiped the right sword, Kogarashi, through the air—
SMASH!
And then he and his siblings all froze at the blast of razor-sharp wind that flew out from the blade's path, carving a smooth trench in the wall of a nearby shipbuilding. The dugongs blinked once, twice, and then a newly returned Mikey slowly leaned back in to give the swords a wary once-over.
"Did… you mean to do that?" he asked nervously.
"No… no, I did not," Leo confirmed in just as weak a voice, staring at his new blades with newfound awe. Said awe doubled when he gave the swords a few testing slashes with only a fraction of his strength, and every time a visible ripple of air accompanied the blur of metal. "What in Charybdis…?"
For about a minute more, they stood staring at the blades.
"Maybe it has to do with Shiki?" Donny hypothesized. "I mean, they were part of his body for twenty years, maybe they're still used to flying and stuff?"
"Well, whatever it is, it's awesome!" Mikey crowed.
"Heck yeah!" Raphey concurred, pumping her fists with no small amount of enthusiasm. "You've got a ranged attack now! You're as good as the rest of us!"
"…yeah…" Leo confirmed, nodding slowly as he turned to face them. "So… remind me again. What was it exactly that you said when I first told you I managed to use a razor wind attack?"
The other dugongs' expressions slowly slackened, abject terror blooming on their faces.
"I, uh, c-can't rightly recall…" Donny chuckled sheepishly, leading his siblings in ever so subtly inching away from their twitching brother.
"I do believe… your exact words were…" The ground at Leo's tail was shredded by a terse twitch of his blades. "A… fluke was it? That I would be lucky to ever even tread air, much less slice it?"
"I, ah, t-that sounds… maybe a bit familiar…" Raphey hedged, her eyes glancing every which way in search of the best route of escape.
"B-But, uh, h-hey, you know us, right? T-That was just trash talk, yeah?" Mikey pleaded, smiling in that way that shows he clearly wasn't buying what he was selling. "J-Just pokin' fun, no big whoop! Nothing personal, just-just business, right!… right?!"
"Oh, yeah, don't worry. This? This isn't business at all…" Leo's face slowly split into a nice and nasty grin, Oto and Kogarashi positively humming malice. "This is pure, 100% pleasure."
The pupils of the dugong's eyes dilated dramatically. "Oh shi—!"
"GULF STREAM!"
KRA-KOW!
"AAAAGH!"
Back at the takoyaki stand, Bonney's head jerked up, her eyes drawn in a frown at the screams of animal-on-animal carnage she'd just heard. That didn't mean she stopped eating, of course, she just looked up in interest, but the fact that anything had diverted her attention at all was a noteworthy feat.
Luffy, however, shared no such interest. "Eh, it's fine," the rubber-man said around his own takoyaki. "Our crew does this all the time."
"So does everyone else here," Hachi added with a raised finger while the rest remained focused on his grill. "If it gets bad enough, the Skull Mists will handle it."
"Mmm, fair enough…" Bonney nodded her head, absently flexing a skewer between her fingers. Glancing at it as though only just realizing what she was doing, she ran it across her lips to get the last traces of sauce off and then threw it behind her. An action that had… unforeseen consequences.
"YEARGH! MY ASS! DEAR NEPTUNE, WHO JUST STABBED ME IN THE ASS!?"
The world-infamous glutton blinked in dumb surprise as an orange-bandana'd blur shot past her, howling bloody murder the whole time. "Uh… sorry?"
"Psh, not a problem," Boss waved his flipper dismissively. "If he can't handle keeping up his Iron Shell long enough to block a few inches of wood, then he's got it coming."
"…Oh, fine, whatever, I admit it: you guys are the nuttiest crew this side of the Grand Line. Probably one of the strongest, too." Bonney's chewing slowed slightly, her expression becoming thoughtful. "And I haven't even met that loudmouth Cross yet, so that's saying something. Is he really as crazy as he sounds?"
Luffy gave her an odd look before grinning brightly. "Oh, no way! Cross is way crazier; he just acts nice for everyone else! And he knows a lot of weird stuff too! Ask him anything you want, I bet he can tell you what you want to know! Unless he doesn't know it or something, that's happened too, but eh." And with a lackadaisical shrug, he went back to his chowdown.
Bonney blinked at the rubber man before nodding slowly and staring upward, idly chewing on a fresh skewer. "Anything, huh…"
The stick snapped between her viciously grinning teeth.
"Ya know what, Straw Hat? I think I might just take you up on that offer."
-o-
"Well? What do you think?"
I spread my arms invitingly, politely ignoring the looks that everyone was giving me, which were a healthy blend of stunned, gobsmacked, and flat-out unconscious. Granted, that last one was because Nami zapped Foxy when he started getting too loud, but still. As it was, it was pretty cheering to see that even my own crewmates were utterly gobsmacked, with even Zoro's jaw hanging loose. Heck, Vivi was already halfway to comatose as it was, her eyes glossy as they stared at nothing, and her fingers twitching and gesturing in a futile attempt to work out some flaw in my plan based on her own experiences with Crocodile's scheming. Needless to say, the overall silence gratified me to no end.
"I… think that if you're actually serious about this plan… then you should know that charging Enies Lobby to rescue Robin was downright normal by comparison," our three-sword-wielding swordsman finally managed to drag out.
"At the risk of spending the next several weeks being glared at by my lieutenant… I agree with Sidewinder," Smoker said.
"And for once, so do I!" Tashigi snapped, slamming her palms on the table. "Jeremiah Cross, you are insane! This entire scheme is madness! I-It's demented! Deranged! Barmy!"
"Oh, fancy word."
"SHUT UP, SNAIL!" the Marine snapped at an unrepentant Soundbite without turning her glare from me. "Cross, out of all the plans you've ever devised, this has to easily be the most ludicrous, outrageous, completely unhinged one yet!"
I left that sentence hanging for a bit before leaning back in my seat and folding my arms behind my head. "…and?"
Tashigi's eye twitched viciously before she collapsed back in her seat with a look of utter defeat. "…and Themis save me, but it could actually work."
"She's right. Actually, incredibly right," Nami breathed in awe, her eyes scrunched in intense thought. "I mean, it's risky as all hell and relies on a lot of moving parts, but the basic concept behind this whole thing is…"
"Capricorn questions exactly how much you realize that this will shake the world," Hina demanded, no small amount of panicked awe transmitted through her Transponder Snail's eyes. "As in, literally the entire world. The… The mere implications—!"
"The 'mere implications'," Sandersonia breathed heavily, and I leaned way back. Not only was she panting like an overheated retriever, but her cheeks were flushed, and her pupils were blown way wide and oh dear lord I'm fucked. "Have me three seconds away… from leaping clean across this table… and jumping Blondie's—!"
"Okay, naptime."
THUNK!
I heaved a sigh of extreme relief at the sight of Sandersonia collapsed face-first onto the table, snoozing peacefully thanks to the hand Koala had clamped on the Anaconda Zoan's shoulder. "Thanks, Koala. That almost got explicit."
"Yeah," she said, coughing into her fist, and oh shit, she was blushing. "Let's just wrap this up quick and avoid giving me any more reasons to be attracted to you, alright? Because you've just laid out the step-by-step instructions for achieving one of my wildest fantasies, and I honestly don't know how much longer I'll be able to hold myself back either."
"Eep."
"My, my, what would Sanji say about two beautiful women swooning over you, dear brother?"
"Unless you have something to contribute, out before I get Soundbite to play you a full marathon of documentaries on how aliens helped shape my home world's history." I waited until a flurry of petals indicated Robin's departure to slump in my chair in defeat. "Gweh… alright, anyone else got anything to add?"
"Apa… actually, I do." Apoo raised a finger. "Why do you need us for this, Cross? I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm all for it, but couldn't you Straw Hats easily do it yourself?"
"Heh, you're actually right about that, Ap-ya," Law waved his hand dismissively. "The Straw Hats could just run this fast and dirty on their own, true… but in case you missed it, this is more than that. Cross is aiming for something that will last beyond the Straw Hats' departure. We're talking about changing society here, meaning it needs to be bigger than 'it's just the Straw Hats again'. For that, we need maximum impact…"
"And for that, we need the Supernovas. All of them," I picked up, slowly giving everyone at the table a hard look. "This is going to be just as earthshaking as Enies Lobby, yes, but only if things are right. Too little preparation, and the gig's a dud. We need every Supernova on this island, on Sabaody, at the same time. Hell, we need every pirate we can get on Sabaody. Our best shot at pulling this off is to positively glut the archipelago with more pirates than it's seen in living history. We do that… then we can show the world something truly spectacular. Something that will be branded in the heart and soul of humanity for centuries." I then scowled and sank into my seat. "Which, of course, is all impeded by one. Fucking. Obstacle."
"The blockade…" T-Bone nodded solemnly. "Through which Sabaody is more devoid of pirates than it has ever been in living memory."
"Which is what we'll handle at the meeting," Lola picked up, turning to one of the Skull Mists in the room. "All of the Supernovas have arrived at this point, right?"
The man glanced up in thought, counted on his fingers, and then glanced back. "Basically, yeah. According to the News Coos, Hawkins is the only one not physically on Skelter Bite, and his ship crested the horizon about half an hour ago."
"Perfect," she said, rising from her seat. "Ophiuchus, if there are no more matters to discuss for the time being, I need to make sure that our meeting grounds will be ready."
"Well, I don't have anything else," I said. A quick glance around, and—
"I do want to bring up one more thing," Smoker sighed. "Koala. Your presence here and our organization's affiliation. Explain."
The temperature in the room dropped a good ten degrees, all centred on Koala. "First off, I don't care how much you're working for the betterment of mankind, if you're not in my chain of command, don't tell me what to do," she flatly responded. "And second, Cross and Dragon are the ones calling the shots here. I met up with the Straw Hats by coincidence before they came here and only followed them into this because I got caught up in their momentum; everyone in the Revolutionary Army is under orders not to interfere with the New World Masons unless the Straw Hats or someone in one of the Zodiacs explicitly asks."
"And we will be addressing that later!" Sandersonia hissed intently, snapping back to consciousness out of nowhere so she could look at Koala. "I, uh, actually need to call my sisters back ASAP, so if you don't mind—!" And before anyone could say otherwise, she was out of the Headquarters' eyehole in a flash of green.
"…and I think we're done," I drawled. "Alright, folks, meeting adjourned. Let's turn in and get some sleep, because tomorrow…" I donned a mix of a grin and a grimace. "We're gonna have a real fight on our hands."