Have I died? a question inside himself while he hears the hissing of sand flying above his ears. He tried to open his eyes but as if there is an evil curse preventing them, not only his eyes but his whole body.
He felt as if there is a huge mountain on his chest making him breathe with difficulty and he tried to open his mouth a little to inhale some air but nothing entered his body except cold grains of sand. He had no choice but to swallow them to get rid of those grains of sand that entered his mouth.
He tried to move his fingers, he was able to feel many fragments of sand falling on them as if trying to bury them so that no one finds them.
Am I buried under sand? Many questions came to his fearful and anxious self.
Why?
How?
All I remember is that I saw my severed head then a sharp headache struck me.
But it was not the right time to answer these questions, he had first to survive this situation.
Luckily, his cold and dry hands were close to his pale face like wax, because of that he managed to dig two holes under his nose so he could breathe some air.
After making sure he could breathe some air, he moved his shoulders and hips like a dancing snake trapped inside a bottle, then pushed himself upward and the sand behind him started to fall so he leaned on it to help him climb.
When he felt that the sand above became hotter and lighter and some rays of sunlight that were like silk threads began to enter him.
He placed his left hand over his eyes to protect them like the last shield protecting a kingdom and his right hand tried to get him out of this sea of sand that was trying to drown him.
He managed to get half of his body out of the sand and he heard the sound of sand falling as if it was crying over the separation of its beloved but he did not care.
He supported himself using his hands to get the other half of his body out.
When he got out he moved two steps before his legs lost the strength to walk and he fell on his knees.
Atabah: a sharp and torn inhale
He inhaled with all his strength as if he came out of a grave he stayed in for centuries.
His heartbeats were hitting strongly as if they were drums with a powerful and fast rhythm boom boom boom.
Atabah: inhale and exhale
He held his chest at the place of his heart as if his heart was like a bird waiting for any opening to escape from this bone cage and enjoy its awaited freedom.
A whisper: calm down
When he heard these whispers that resemble his voice ordering him to calm himself.
...…
Atabah: oof
He managed to calm himself and organize his heartbeats, a feeling, but that feeling of comfort and reassurance did not last long.
He raised his head to look around him but all he saw was a wide valley of hills and desert lands it seemed as if all the areas around him were painted with pure gold that could enchant anyone with its beautiful appearance but kills all who pass through it.
He felt the hot rays of the sun burning him and trying to force him to submit and surrender.
Atabah: Oh my God I feel as if I was born again not because I survived being buried alive but because all my wounds have healed.
He examined his body to find wounds or scars but he found none, a body that was whole as if his mother had just given birth to him.
Atabah: I must move as fast as I can to get out of this desert sea or at least find shade to shelter in.
He grabbed the thin stick that was lying beside him to lean on it like a man at the end of his life and began walking in the paths of fate.
He walked long distances to find supplies or an exit but found nothing but sand.
Atabah: damn sunset is near and the weather is starting to get cold gradually and until now I have not found a place to shelter from wolves.
Atabah: …. damn my miserable luck
He cursed the fate that was always against him.
??: Hello little traveler
Atabah: What!!
He moved his head to know the location of the voice that resembled the voice of a beautiful woman.
??: I am here
He turned to the right toward the voice and saw a glowing person waving to him as if the sun came to bid him farewell before its setting.
He felt fear and his face turned pale from this glowing being that he knew nothing about like how a human's face pales when seeing death.
Atabah: Stay away by the Creator I will kill you if you come closer
??: Calm down man after all if I wanted you dead I would have killed you from the first moment our eyes met Atabah.
Atabah: w- wha what
His legs lost the strength to stand from the intensity of fear and he could not form any understandable word from his tongue like a frightened mouse about to be accused.
The glowing person approached Atabah and with every step closer a part of his body changed as if it was a mirror trying to imitate what it sees.
Step after step the glowing being approached Atabah, Atabah could not scream from the intensity of terror as if someone had stolen his throat.
The distance between them became only four steps.
The form of that being became identical to him as if he was his lost brother but the features of his face were different they were sad and depressed as if about to cry from something. Atabah gathered some courage and said with the strongest voice he had:
Atabah: What do you want from me and why are you crying by the Creator?
??: What do I want from you? I want nothing I only want to help you because I saw you lost and why am I crying? Shouldn't you know the answer more than anyone else?
Atabah: w-
??: Let me introduce myself alright my name is hmm actually I do not have a name but your kind calls me the Enlightened and I help the lost like you.
He felt some relief when hearing these resonating words but there was still a question revolving in his mind like planets revolving around the sun.
Atabah: Why do you look like me?
The Enlightened: I am simply a reflection of the soul and the inner truth of humans so allow me to ask you Atabah why are you sad?
Atabah: ...
He could not think of a satisfying answer for his broken self after all his memories were like a puzzle he had not solved yet.
The Enlightened: Do not worry you will know the answer to your question after all we all did so shall we go?
The Enlightened extended his hand to Atabah to help him stand. Atabah felt as if he was holding a mountain that does not shake from the strength of the Enlightened.
Atabah: So will you guide me to the way out of this desert?
The Enlightened: Oh no that is impossible for you after all the distance is very far and you do not have any tools or food so I will guide you to one of my acquaintances who will guide you to the exit and prepare you with equipment for your journey.
Atabah: heh that is better than nothing
The Enlightened: oh right
He shouted suddenly as if he remembered something and in moments he changed his form into a glowing sphere like a shining star lighting everything around it.
The Enlightened: oh this form is better for both of us you humans do not like seeing your true selves you prefer wearing hidden masks to hide your souls now come follow me
He followed the Enlightened with full trust and reassurance like a child holding his mother's hand. The Enlightened protected him from the creatures along their path.
His legs were shaking from exhaustion his body started to feel extreme fatigue and his eyelids were closing on their own as if they began to disobey his mind.
Atabah: When will we reach your friend?
The Enlightened: Didn't you notice we already arrived.
He looked ahead and saw a man in his late forties with white skin a black beard black hair and eyes with a dark color as if devouring anyone who looks at them he was sitting in a squatting position preparing tea.
Atabah: oh finally thank you Enlightened I would not have survived without yo—
His words were cut off because when he turned to thank the Enlightened he did not find him he disappeared like a mirage and became one with the desert.
Thank you he said this in his mind and approached the old man who was wearing a white robe leaning to gray showing the effects of dust and time and a blue cloak and turban like the eyes of the blue yamama and he had leather chest straps with sun engravings.
Atabah: hello
The old man looked at him with a sharp gaze as if he wanted to look into his soul Atabah felt intense pressure and difficulty breathing from the tension.
Old man: oh you are the lost person the Enlightened talked about please sit would you like some tea?
Atabah: thank you for your generosity
The old man poured the red tea that looked like a waterfall of hot blood being poured.
Old man: here
Atabah: thank you
He took a small sip of the hot tea and felt a balanced and deep flavor.
Old man: delicious right I buried it to ferment well for hours now its taste became sharp and deep like a sword
Atabah: yes
...…
The air around them became quiet and awkward as if time stopped Atabah was not good at talking with people and he did not know that but finally he gathered some courage and spoke.
Atabah: it seems you are a lover of the night
Old man: I am a lover of nothingness
Atabah: excuse me?
He was confused by this answer but the old man continued.
Old man: look around you do you see or hear anything?
Atabah: n- no
Old man: this silence and peace that comes when there is nothing this is what I prefer if you were not born you would not need a mother's affection and you would not search for love and you would not be sad for losing your loved ones tell me have you ever wished you were not born?
This conversation was shocking and chilling freezing all his veins but he had to answer no matter what after thinking nothing came out of his mouth except the desire buried deep inside him.
Atabah: no I am happy that my mother brought me to this world
The old man frowned as if this was not the answer he was waiting for.
Atabah could not feel anything as if the old man's black eyes that resemble void devoured all his emotions.
Atabah: ...… let's say I am a lover of existence
Why does he love life and why is he attached to it like this he himself did not know the answer but he knows one thing only:
Atabah: I love life
This is what he loves the most but will this answer satisfy him he felt a deadly curiosity to know the old man's response.
Old man: (light exhale) if you are a lover of life like me then why are you weak anyone can kill you without any effort do you know what is the difference between me and you?
Atabah sighed and asked: what is it?
Old man: I will do anything to live even if that causes the death of all creatures of this planet
Atabah was shocked by this speech it was as if he was threatening all creatures of this planet with death.
The old man scratched his head and said well you are still young one day you will know that strength is everything in this world by the way my name is Qabil may I know your name?
Atabah: I am called Atabah I do not know my parents for that reason they just called me Atabah
Qabil: alright boy rest spend the night here and in the morning I will tell you where to go and give you some tools and food that will help you in your journey
Atabah: thank you for your hospitality I appreciate it
He lay down ready to sleep and waited for the boats of dreams to take him to a world with no end of imagination he closed his eyelids with comfort and slept and the dreams of darkness drowned him.