READING GUIDANCE
" This is a direct sentence in the present time."
" This is a direct sentence in the past time."
' This is a character's inner thought in the present time.'
' This is a character's inner thought in the past time.'
[ This is a direct sentence in sign language in the present time.]
[ This is a direct sentence in sign language in the past time.]
HAPPY READING!
.
.
"...."
"You know... if you start saying something that I hate like this every time I talk to you after the meeting, I will ban us from talking after meetings from now," he said, with a grumpy expression that Irisha found cute.
Yet, she hid it pretty well behind her calming expression. [... I have already lived here for quite a long time.]
"Just live here forever then."
And Irisha just smiled to somehow hide her feelings toward the heavy thing this man in front of her just said. [I need to come back to my house, eventually.] And just before the crown prince could say anything, she said, [I will come just like usual, do the daily therapy with you, come to the palace as it is now my workplace, but... I cannot just stay in the palace.]
Then he looked at her with his engaging eyes. "...Is there something that makes you uncomfortable?"
She shook her head. [It is just something I need to do.] And she smiled brightly, [What's the matter anyway? We just live in different houses. We can still meet each other, hang out together, you can come to my house too if you want.]
Yet, somehow, he did not seem fond of her idea, as it was shown by his expression right now. But Irisha was also aware that she could not stay like this forever. Their relationship already felt so complicated after she thought about it. Her situation itself was part of her process to recover from the pain she had struggled with. She had so many things on her mind, and she did not feel like she could handle everything at once, especially now, when she truly realized how big the gap was between him and her.
.
It was terrifying to think that far.
Even she found her mouth frozen, as if her body already knew that it was something heavy.
'Because... even though I already realize my feelings, it does not mean that is the ending, right?'
And every time Irisha tried to think further, her heart felt stuffy, and she found it hard to breathe.
[...Let's come back to your office. We need to discuss some matters.] she then said.
"...You are changing the topic," he said, yet just sighed and looked at her. "Let's talk about it in my office. You still haven't had lunch, right? What do you want to eat?" And casually, he somehow held her hand and went without ever realizing that her heart stopped whenever he did that. Yet, Irisha managed to act normally and felt silly at the same time.
'I already could tell him anything freely about many matters, yet, just about this feeling...'
It's hard.
.
.
"I think that is the last hamper to be washed," said Tara, while putting down a big hamper filled with clothes outside Irisha's home.
And Irisha poked her to make sure she looked at her. [Thank you for helping me out, even though this is your day off...]
"Ah, please don't mind, Ms. Irisha. I am really happy to help you," she said. "After all, it would be hard for you to take care of these piles of clothes alone, right?" She then looked at the clothesline, which was hung with many clothes being blown by the wind, now quite wild, as the sun rose perfectly on this day.
And Irisha smiled awkwardly. [I left them for quite a long time, suddenly. Even the refrigerator is a nightmare.] She looked at Tara again, [Let's go inside. I will prepare some food. Ivy will come soon too, so—]
"The princess?!"
And she nodded. [Ah, I didn't tell you, did I? Actually... Lady Cordelia will come to visit me as well.]
"AM I ALRIGHT TO MEET THEM WITH THESE CLOTHES?!" she asked frantically, showing her casual clothes that were fine, but yes, quite far from Imperial Ethics' clothing rules.
[...It's okay. Don't worry too much.]
Well, even though she said so, in the end, the first princess and Lady Cordelia's aura quite contradicted the whole atmosphere in this area that Irisha and Tara could easily feel. Even though they seemed to try wearing humble clothes and rode in a humble carriage, they still did not match the decoration inside Irisha's house. Just like now, when they sat on her humble sofa with the elegant posture of noble ladies.
[...Please forgive me.] And it made her feel so bad in a very strange way.
Both of them looked at her, who had just placed the whole tea set in the middle of her coffee table, confused. "What do you mean, sister?" asked the first princess.
[...Well, I just think that this place is out of place for someone like you.]
"Ah, please don't mind it, Ms. Irisha!" Lady Cordelia said, while brightly giving her a box. "Here, I bring you something to eat. The bakery we once visited has released new cakes!"
[Then, I will prepare it first.]
"Let me do that!" said Tara frantically, as she still hadn't calmed down after Irisha told her that the princess and Lady Cordelia would come. Even though it was not Irisha's first time meeting them, talking casually like this was not something Tara could easily get used to. So, Irisha let her take care of the cake, thinking it would be a great chance for Tara to calm down.
She just sat down, looking at the princess who seemed to be waiting for her. She still seemed upset about what had happened when Irisha told her earlier this morning about moving out of the palace. Yet, because she had a class to attend—which Irisha was always strict about—the princess grumpily said she would come to her house after she finished. "...I still don't get why you decided to go back home."
And she sighed, smiling gently. [It is strange for me to stay...] she said.
Then the princess frowned, "Didn't my brother say anything?"
She looked at the princess for a while, and Lady Cordelia, who seemed interested, but fortunately, Tara just came with sliced cakes. [Thank you.] She then helped Tara distribute the cakes to everyone and looked at the cakes, which were beautiful. [As usual, this bakery's creations never disappoint.]
"Yes! I hope we have a chance to visit again together," said Lady Cordelia.
"Ehem... sister, I would like to come too if you tend to visit, but please answer my question."
She smiled confusedly. [Even though it is, His Grace cannot do anything, right?]
"But—"
[There will be a time for me to go back too. It is not appropriate for me to stay.] she said. [I am more confused if you ask me a question that has a clear answer.]
"What do you mean by that? Of course, you can—"
[No. I am not. I am no one to stay in the palace like that. So, please understand that.] she said.
The mad princess, who always did things selfishly, could not say anything in front of Irisha, and it made Lady Cordelia and Tara, who rarely saw this, close their mouths, stunned. "...It will not be as fun as before..." the princess said, showing her upset expression. Yet, other than wickedly doing things she liked, she just curled up on the sofa. "...I always get excited every day knowing you are there..."
And Irisha could not do anything but smile. [...There are the crown prince and the second prince, there are also your parents... spend your time with them.]
Then the princess looked at her for a while and smiled silly. "...sister, my parents don't like me. They will not spend their free time with their children." And even though she brought that topic casually, as if it were not important, it easily changed the atmosphere. After spending quite a long time in the palace, Irisha found that what the princess said had a deeper meaning, because even in the Imperial Palace, most imperial members had their own palaces. While Irisha was living there, she never had a chance to meet the Emperor and the Empress regularly. She sometimes met the Emperor in meetings but never the Empress, even though she hung out with the imperial children most of the time. At that time, she hadn't thought much of it, assuming they were busy. But to hear it from the children themselves... something was not right.
After what happened in her past life, she was not naive enough to think that all families should be perfect.
Yet, to know that someone she is fond of has a similar experience—this is not something she could happily accept.
It is not her matter, yes. Yet, it somehow makes her more afraid of what will happen in the future between her and the crown prince. She realized there should be a final decision to pass the next phase. If they have the same feelings for each other, then going further will be a serious matter...
Is she capable of making things right?
"I—I participate in the knight championship this month," said Lady Cordelia, realizing Irisha's change in expression.
Irisha, lost in thought, tried to smile. [Excuse me, what is it?] and somehow felt confused with herself, thinking she decided not to dwell on this matter for a while.
Then Lady Cordelia smiled gently. "I participate in the knight championship this month, but only for beginners." She said. "If you have time, I hope you can come see me."
"Oh! That's great, Lady Cordelia! I thought only male knights could participate," said Tara.
She nodded shyly. "Well, of course it is. I am actually embarrassed because the reason I am allowed to participate is also because of my father and my husband. Without their help, I might not participate."
[...If I may say—women in this society have no power over men. So, I think you should not be embarrassed. If someone like you never starts to change things, we will just run in the same cycle.]
Lady Cordelia nodded. "...It is terrifying, but I am always inspired by you, Ms. Irisha. So, if you could do it too, I thought I could do the same." She said. "It might be true that my family helps me, but I will make sure to prove my worth in that battle."
"Wow! I will support you, Lady Cordelia!" said Tara excitedly. "I also think this society is sometimes too harsh for us women. To then find women who do great and stand equally with men... I feel ecstatic!"
And the princess, who leaned down while looking at them, put her face in her hand. She lost herself in thought for a while before looking at Irisha and Lady Cordelia. "...That's true," she muttered.
"What is it, Your Grace?" asked Lady Cordelia.
The princess looked at her for a while before signing something. "...I just realized that there are no women knights."
Then she smiled faintly. "Unfortunately, yes. Even if there are, it will be for special cases. This empire still does not fully support women contributing to such matters."
[...Well, even for something unrelated to physical things, like my field, I found it hard to be in this position.]
The princess looked at both of them as if she had just realized something she had never thought about. "...When is the championship?" she asked.
"Pardon?... Hmm, I guess it is around the last week of this month."
The princess smiled. "I will participate with you."
"Eh?"
"We will be two women participants."
"Ah...is that okay?" asked Lady Cordelia, confused and shocked.
The princess tilted her head. "...Why not?" Somehow, her aura and charisma hit them so hard that they realized she was truly a princess of the great Empire. They accepted her statement without debating.
****
.
.
"I AM HOMEEE!!" said Arisha excitedly, being held by Ash, who also looked excited.
"I AM HOME, IRISHAA!!" he said in sync with Arisha.
The crown prince hit his head while standing behind him. "Why are you here?" he asked, frowning.
Ash glared at him. "Why are you here too? I am not in the mood to go to the front line to be your substitute," he said.
The crown prince ignored him casually and looked at the first commander of the Holy Knights, who also stood behind him. He frowned silently.
"...Greeting to the Dragon's Blessing, the crown prince and the second prince..." he said awkwardly. Silence followed, so he spoke again. "I am here to pick up my wife." Even though the crown prince never asked, Luke felt he had to say something.
Just as Arisha reached the doorknob, Lady Cordelia opened it for them.
"Ah, greeting to the Dragon's Blessing, the crown prince and the second prince," said Lady Cordelia, surprised, yet not too surprised after thinking for a moment. "...and welcome back, Arisha." She smiled brightly at Arisha.
"Lady Cordeliaa!" she said happily and hugged her immediately.
"Wow, you are so excited. How is school?"
"I have so much fun! We did this and that with the teachers," she said.
"...That's great! Are you hungry? We will cook something for you. I will prepare it," she said.
"Where is Irisha?" asked the crown prince suddenly.
Lady Cordelia looked surprised at his sudden question. "She is sleeping," she said.
"My sister is sleeping?" asked Arisha.
"Yes. Ms. Tara said she did so much work this morning, so maybe she was tired and fell asleep while we were talking," she said.
"Then where is my sister?" asked Ash suddenly.
"Ah, yes?! She wants to go to the nearest bakery with Ms. Tara because we accidentally ate the cakes and forgot to separate some for Arisha," she said, looking guilty. "I am sorry. Later, I will bring another for you, okay?"
Arisha nodded. "It is okay!" and smiled brightly. The crown prince went inside to come closer to Irisha, who slept on the sofa, covered by a blanket.
"A-ah! We tried to pick her up and put her on her bed, but a single touch wakes her up—Ah." He stood still after brushing Irisha's hair and looked at her gently for a while before easily picking her up without her waking. Not like before, when Lady Cordelia put a blanket on her.
"Where is her room?" he asked.
Lady Cordelia, stunned for a moment, then handed Arisha to her husband unconsciously and ran toward Irisha's bedroom. "Here, Your Grace." The crown prince picked her up without problem, and Lady Cordelia immediately noticed how comfortable Irisha was in his arms. She looked at her husband with reddish cheeks and screamed internally,
'They are so cute!!!' — immediately understood by her husband, who had recently discovered a new side of his wife.
"They always are like that," the second prince said beside Sir Luke.
"Ah...they are a lovely couple."
He smiled. "Irisha is cute, right?" Somehow, even Sir Luke, who knew them as people who would not show their true feelings easily, was surprised. Even Lady Cordelia, who overheard, was surprised. She was as surprised as when the first princess easily told her story to her and Tara. There was no threat, no agonizing aura, no unreachable distance—just comfort between humans.
They were changing, and Lady Cordelia knew it was because of Ms. Irisha.
Then she stood quietly, immersed in her thoughts.
"Well, it just happened. At first, our marriage was like a usual noble marriage. There was no love involved, but my husband treated me kindly, so...somehow I fell in love deeper," she said shyly, while the conversation somehow led into marriage matters.
"It may be offensive, but Lady Cordelia—both you and Sir Luke are one of the perfect couples I adore!" Tara said.
"One of?" asked the princess.
Tara smiled awkwardly. "....Yes, because there is also a couple I adore too!" She glanced at Irisha, who was unaware.
"Ah...sure, they are lovey-dovey," said the princess.
Irisha raised her brows, confused, while looking at Lady Cordelia with a strange smile. [...Is it not hard?]
"Pardon?"
[Do not it's frightening?] Eventually, that smile of hers made Lady Cordelia pause, because Irisha's eyes seemed different even with her gentle smile—something off—and Lady Cordelia could feel it instantly. Yet Irisha then smiled wider. [No, I misspoke.] She changed the topic smoothly...but Lady Cordelia somehow understood the subtlety that was unclear to everyone else because she had once felt something similar too.
Even though Tara heard Ms. Irisha once tell her about her relationship with the crown prince, she became confused.
'You look perfect for each other.'
'The crown prince loves you dearly, and you do.'
Then why?
But Lady Cordelia found the answer almost immediately and thought, how cruel the world they live in is.
***