READING GUIDANCE
" This is a direct sentence in the present time."
" This is a direct sentence in the past time."
' This is a character's inner thought in the present time.'
' This is a character's inner thought in the past time.'
[ This is a direct sentence in sign language in the present time.]
[ This is a direct sentence in sign language in the past time.]
HAPPY READING!
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In her previous life, there was an unofficial law that somehow applied in society. An unwritten rule that is so closely attached to human life. Some said it was goals, achievements that one should get—something that will increase their value if they somehow manage to get them done.
Just after the babies were born, the law would immediately apply to them.
At the age of three months, they have to be able to sit. Then, after a little time passes, they have to be able to stand. Soon, they will have to be able to walk and run.
Later on, when they grow much older, they have to be able to graduate with high grades. Be accepted into a well-known university. Get a degree and become a doctor or a successful entrepreneur. If one fails, regardless of the reason, they will be labeled as a failure.
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Sadly, she was there once.
She was once desperately climbing the stairs of achievement regardless of how she felt toward them. She desperately used dirty methods just to make sure that her family would never see her as a failure. She desperately sought justification for her existence.
She then, as a woman, should be married to a wealthy guy, give birth to a son, and she would immediately be envied by everyone. Yet she, who once despised love due to her circumstances, was immediately labeled as an arrogant woman who was hated by everyone.
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Someone once talked about her, something she still vividly remembers.
"I should get a husband! I don't want to become a spinster like that madam."
"Yes, she is so pitiful, isn't she?"
"That's why she is so full of herself."
...and even for her previous self, those words were not something she liked to hear. She rarely showed it, and most of the time she simply ignored them. Yet little by little, they still left their mark.
Because that was the truth of standing high above others—no matter how capable you were, no matter how indifferent you tried to appear, there would always be people waiting below, eager to pull you down. And even if she pretended not to care, even if she convinced herself those voices meant nothing, the echoes of them still remained somewhere deep inside her.
Despite how she lived her life before, or how she truly felt about it, she could not deny that her work had become something she was deeply passionate about. As time passed, she began to believe that her work was the one thing that would never hurt her—something that kept her busy enough to push everything else aside, including the parts of herself that once cared too much.
...it was something that kept her alive. She could easily say that it was a precious thing she never dared to leave.
Yet society despised such a thought, and standing as a different kind of woman was never easy for her.
...because she could not see the point of it all. Before she met the man who told her what the meaning of love was, her life had only shown her the uglier side of the goals people tried so desperately to achieve.
In the end, her whole life had become the result of how those goals ruined her.
So... what should she do about these confusing feelings now? Although she is living as a different person with a different mindset, it does not mean that the things she experienced in the past will simply disappear.
Even though she can now see a reason to live, how could she forget the nightmares that once ruined her? Especially when she has come to realize that the fantasy world she now lives in also carries that same ugly law lurking within its society.
And with all of these emotions mixing and clashing inside her, she cannot help but feel terrified.
"...What will you do after your work is done?" he asked while swiping documents on his desk.
She, who stood in front of his table, casually said, [Do some groceries and go home?]
"You said Arisha will not come here?"
And she nodded. [Lady Cordelia asked her to come to her house, and she will take her home immediately.]
"Hmm," he said. "I will come then."
She frowned. [You just came yesterday.]
"So?"
[...Please don't forget that you are a CROWN prince!] she frowned angrily.
But the man seemed not to understand. "Yes, I am. And what about that?" he said. "It's not like I make a fuss in front of your house."
[...You might be okay, but—]
"Why?"
And she just smiled faintly. [Forget it,] she said. [I need to finish these documents, so I have to go. Don't forget about the previous proposal. I will get it from you, so please do that!]
He laughed due to her serious expression. "Alright, my lady."
Just at that second, Irisha stopped, a strange expression appearing on her face for a brief moment. But before he could even ask why, she had already turned away.
...Even Irisha herself noticed the sudden change in her emotions. Yet she could not really understand it.
A small smile formed on her lips, faint and almost absent-minded.
'I am no lady.'
The thought came so naturally that it surprised her for a moment.
...as if it carried something she had never truly meant before.
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'It becomes too serious, isn't it?'
'It is surely becoming too wild.'
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Even though she promised herself not to go into the same hell once again and to live a happy life, these overthinking thoughts started to devour her from the inside.
Just for this matter—it is quite hard.
'...And I can't talk about it with you.' She also could not force herself to do so.
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...because she is afraid.
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She is afraid to talk about it with him. The thought of the possibilities that would come up terrified her even more, and the thought of it is hard to forget, as this old man in front of her somehow makes it impossible for her to take even a little rest.
[...Good morning, Sir Rupert.] she greeted him. The man she recently met. The one who holds power within the government, the second hand of the Emperor himself—the prime minister of the Empire of Malum.
The man with a stern face that seemed to hold countless untold stories looked at her for quite a while, as if carefully observing her. He was the kind of man who fit perfectly in a tyrant's empire—cold, unwavering, and shaped by a world where mercy was often mistaken for weakness.
"...I heard the crown prince came to your house?" he asked while his assistant interpreted it for him.
[...Yes, sir.]
And it was really easy for Irisha to understand that this man despised her so much, as he gritted his teeth. "Please refrain from doing so," he said. "I know you are a woman, but you should not be such a fool as to not be aware of the crown prince's dignity."
And the fact that he was not hesitant to talk like that in front of her and his assistant ensured his opinion toward her.
...And it was not the first time he did that.
After she came back to work after a long break, the prime minister, who had just returned from his trip, came to her immediately. It was not that blatant—she could sense the quiet resentment lingering from their previous encounter, the way his eyes sharpened ever so slightly, the barely-there edge in his tone. He was reminding her, without speaking it outright, that he disapproved of her actions. Irisha was aware that this man was not a fool who would simply kick her out while she was under Sir Higrid and the crown prince's name, yet she also knew she could not confront him directly. Instead, she met his subtle hostility with her own careful restraint, keeping her expressions and words measured, showing him that she noticed—but never boldly challenging him.
Even though she understood the fact that this man wronged her... she could not bring herself to stand up in this matter, and it was simply because he was right.
"...This is not official yet, but the members of the Varaz Royal Family will visit our empire," he said with his cold gaze. "...Their third prince and their fifth princess will come. They bring an important proposal—so unless you are a fool, you should be aware of your position," he said while turning away, even though the interpreter had not yet finished his words.
Leaving her standing alone in the middle of the hallway.
'...My position, huh?' And it was a painful truth. '...I am aware, Sir.' Truly aware. Yet whenever someone said it clearly in front of her face, surely it hurt more.
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***
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"Is Irisha home yet?" he asked while walking to his room, followed by Ray.
And Ray nodded. "...They said she is already at home."
"Hemm, prepare a horse and coat," he said.
And Ray nodded again while helping him prepare to go to Ms. Irisha's house. "...The knight said that Ms. Irisha had a conversation with Sir Rupert," he said.
"And...?"
"...You know, Your Grace—Sir Rupert's personality is a little bit strict," he said.
And the crown prince frowned at him. "What do you mean? Say it clearly."
Ray found himself having a hard time explaining. "...He is one of the loyalist officials of the Empire, Your Grace. His Majesty's confidant."
"...Yeah, I know that too well," he muttered. "He is an annoying old man."
"That's why!" Ray said. "...It might be affecting Ms. Irisha's well-being."
"What do you mean?"
"...Your Grace, you do know about the visit of the Varaz Kingdom, right?" he asked, while the man still only looked at him with his elegant golden eyes. "...The rumor says that their fifth princess will ask you for a marriage proposal."
"..."
"...So, I think you should think further about this," said Ray. "...Please make up your mind about what you will do toward Your Grace and Ms. Irisha's relationship."
Ray hoped this man in front of him heard his thoughts carefully.
Because it is not an easy matter.
'...Regardless of how tyrannical you are and how you can make the world bow to you, if your partner is unhappy, what will you do?'
Especially when for the dragon, their partner is their treasure...it supposed to.
And the life of a human who lives in this hegemonic world is always full of wicked things inside. Sometimes it is not one's feelings that matter. Sometimes it is not as simple as,
'...Because I love her, I will be with her.'
The painful truth of this world can sometimes separate the ones who love each other deeply.
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"...So, what will you do with Ms. Irisha?"
"You ask me that?" And he seriously looked at Ray.
Ray nodded. "...You cannot ignore it forever, Your Grace."
Then the crown prince squinted his eyes as if he was angry. Yet he sighed hard while sitting down on his sofa roughly.
"...It is not about you. Please do think about it for Ms. Irisha," he said. "Because if you don't, she will be the one who is hurt eventually."
And he could not answer anything to Ray's words. Even though he had already realized it for quite a long time, he was not a child who was unaware of such matters. He knew pretty well who he was and what burden he had on his shoulders. He knew well about the background he had and what his life was about.
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But every time he tried to think about that—
An ugly image he despised so much came to his mind.
"...Because you are the one who will be the Emperor."
Just like a curse, it rang every second about that woman he tried to bury inside him.
And he smirked at a funny realization.
"...In the end, I do have the same thing as you, Irisha."
A funny memory that haunted him. That still affected him. Even a glimpse of the memory of her would immediately change his aura. It would start to fill the entire room with a harmful atmosphere.
"...Your Grace... please calm down." Ray was struggling.
But how?
"...This damned blood," he muttered.
"...Because you are... the dragon's blessing after all."
While being reminded by the memories of the woman he had hated for his entire life.
***