Focus-Lies We Tell Ourselves
John returned after two days.
Not fully recovered.
But present.
That alone was enough for Eric to notice.
The moment Eric saw him enter the workshop, he stood up.
No hesitation.
No delay.
"You're back," Eric said.
His tone was neutral.
Controlled.
John nodded slightly.
"Yes."
His voice was calm—but distant.
Rayan followed him in shortly after, carrying John's bag.
Eric's gaze shifted to him for a brief second.
Then back to John.
"We need to continue the lead," Eric said.
Straight to the point.
No small talk.
John placed his file on the table.
"I'll review it."
Eric frowned slightly.
"You said that yesterday."
John didn't respond immediately.
Just opened the file.
Focused.
Eric exhaled.
Frustration building—but contained.
"…You've been delaying this."
John looked up.
"Delaying what?"
"Work."
A pause.
John's expression stayed steady.
"I've been unwell."
Eric stepped closer.
"Not today."
Rayan watched quietly from the side.
Not interrupting.
Observing.
Eric continued.
"You're avoiding the investigation."
"That's not true."
"Then why haven't you been showing up?"
John's grip tightened slightly on the file.
"…I already said I was sick."
Eric's eyes narrowed.
"And now?"
Silence.
John didn't answer.
Eric let out a short breath.
Then—
His tone changed.
Not louder.
But sharper.
More personal.
"Fine," Eric said.
"If you don't want to work, say it directly."
John frowned slightly.
"That's not what this is."
Eric shook his head.
"No, it is."
A pause.
Then he said something that sounded calm—
But carried something deeper underneath.
"I get it."
John's eyes lifted.
Eric continued.
"You don't need to force yourself."
Silence.
"I'll handle the lead," Eric said.
Flat.
John blinked once.
"…What?"
Eric looked away briefly.
Then back at him.
"I'll push it forward myself."
A pause.
"Faster."
Rayan's gaze shifted between them.
Something subtle in his expression.
Eric added—
Almost casually.
"So you don't have to worry."
John didn't speak.
Eric exhaled lightly.
Then said the line he had convinced himself of—
"Once this is over, you can go back to whatever you're doing."
A glance toward Rayan.
"…Spend your time how you want."
John's expression changed.
Just slightly.
Eric continued, without realizing what he was doing to himself.
"I won't get in the way."
Silence.
Heavy.
It sounded like a promise.
But it wasn't.
It was avoidance.
Eric had convinced himself that this was the right thing.
That pushing John away was practical.
That finishing the case quickly would "free" him.
But deep down—
He was avoiding something else entirely.
John looked at him for a moment.
Longer than usual.
Searching.
"…Is that what you think this is?" John asked quietly.
Eric shrugged.
"Isn't it?"
A pause.
John didn't answer.
Because the truth—
Was more complicated than Eric wanted to admit.
Rayan stepped forward slightly.
"Let's focus on the work," he said calmly.
Eric nodded.
"Yeah."
But his eyes lingered on John for a second longer than necessary.
Then he turned away.
And in that moment—
He told himself a lie.
A convincing one.
That this distance…
This coldness…
This indifference…
Was for the best.
That John and Rayan could have their space.
Their time.
Their normal life.
Without him in it.
But what Eric didn't realize—
Was that the more he pushed John away…
The more he was losing something he couldn't define.
And the worst part?
He still believed he didn't care.
End of Chapter 12 💔
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