I loved her honestly, like I had never loved anyone before. I truly believed she was the one.
My love, my salvation, my peace.
But to her, I was nothing more than a temporary distraction, something momentary—not someone for a lifetime.
Maybe it was karma. Maybe I had done the same to others before. Who knows.
All I know is that everything that once felt like love turned into silence… and then a block.
We talked about marriage. We planned where we would live after I finished college. We spoke about our future, our dreams, our life together.
All of that… happened on a Friday.
While I was happy, I truly believed: "This is it… I made it. I'm going to marry her."
Two days later, I went out into the city.
I felt restless. Like something bad was about to happen.
I wandered around, searching for a place to sit, to calm myself down.
And then I walked into a café.
She was sitting there.
With another guy.
My heart shattered in that moment.
I couldn't believe what I was seeing.
"No… this isn't what it looks like… maybe it's her brother, a friend…"
I kept lying to myself, desperately.
I stood there, thinking—should I go up to her, should I ask who he is?
Instead, I sent her a message.
"Who is he?"
The reply was short:
"That's none of your business."
And just like that—blocked.
Chaos in my head.
Chaos in my heart.
All my hopes, my dreams, my love… thrown to the ground and crushed.
I asked myself—do I really not deserve happiness?
Or is it simply not meant for me?
And then I gave myself an answer.
Maybe I truly don't deserve happiness.
Not her. Not anything good in life.
Because I am a liar.
A sinner.
A broken man in every possible way.
I have years…
but no mind.
And that night…
I went back to the only thing I knew—destroying myself.
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