HARURA
I threw my shoes the second I got home and ran straight to my room, dramatically dropping my bag before jumping onto my bed.I'm smiling like an idiot—actually smiling.
My cheeks literally hurt from it, but I still can't help myself. I pressed my palms against my face and felt the heat radiating off my skin. If anyone walked in right now, they'd think I have a fever. And maybe I do. Maybe I have a fever named Kaito.
I stared at the ceiling, still smiling, as I replayed every single second in my head.I'm really, truly stupid.I grabbed my phone from my pocket and sat up suddenly, like I was about to uncover government secrets.
My fingers hovered for a second before I finally opened the gallery.My heart began to run an illegal race the moment I saw the photo—the one I clicked like a total creep.I stared at it. zoomed in.Then zoomed in more.I kept zooming until I could see every curve of his face like a detective. I dead-locked my phone and threw it on the bed, embarrassed even though I was alone.
"What am I doing? Oh god, I am such a creep!"
I rolled on my bed and punched my pillow a few times, but two seconds later, I unlocked my phone again.I will look at the photo just one more time, then I will do my homework. Just one time... but we all know that's the biggest lie ever. For now, I don't care. I stared at the screen again, this time smiling like an absolute idiot.
Oh god. Shit. Fuck.
What if someone saw me while I was clicking his photo? Shit, my reputation! It'll be gone. What will he think of me if he finds out I took his photo? He'll think I'm a big creep and hate me. No, no, no.
Kaito can't hate me.
No.I smacked my phone hard on the table near my bed and threw my head back against the headboard.
I sighed dramatically and hugged my pillow as hard as I could.Then, I picked up my phone and started staring at his photo again.My phone buzzed.
And fuck—it's Kaito.
I actually jumped and sat up straight, like I was being caught in a crime.
Kaito sent me a PDF of our math project. I stared at it for a little while, and then my phone started blowing up with more messages.
Kaito: Hey, take your time. No need to rush, we still have plenty of time.
What is he saying? "No need to rush" when I haven't even started? Nice. Well done, Haruka. You did a great job.
But I need to reply with something... but what?
"Sure."
No, that looks stupid.
"Ok."
It looks like I'm not interested.
What should I even reply? Why is it so hard to talk to a project partner? Oh, just text him something!
Me: Thank you.
This is what I could reply? By the way, he must think I am so stupid by now. Oh, shit, Haruka! You have a project to do or he will think you aren't serious.I took a long breath and walked toward my desk to sit down.
I know I am being stupid here. I know he will never feel what I feel for him. I know he will never know what my heart does because of him.But for now, being close to him through this project is all I have and all I want. And that's enough for me.
Or maybe... it's more than enough.