I had never heard this story before.
Not even my own family mentioned it when I was marrying into the Valdormer family.
That his mother had been murdered.
And it was my family who had killed her.
To be more exact, it was surely my father's doing.
At the time, Kallion's powers weren't strong yet, and my father only cared about swallowing up the Valdormer family.
And then he shamelessly sent his own daughter to marry into the family he tried to destroy…
Just thinking about him made me sick.
Yes, I was just that kind of "piece" to him.
Useless things were discarded. Useful things were used.
I wasn't even surprised anymore.
What was surprising… was that Kallion told me this himself.
In my previous life, he had never once shared anything personal with me.
"So that's why I was so sensitive about that room," he said.
I stared at him blankly. It felt strange to hear him speak so honestly.
He looked awkward, unable to meet my eyes.
"I'm sorry for accusing you without properly explaining."
Lately, it felt like I was hearing "I'm sorry" from him a lot.
It was surprising, even confusing, to see him acting so differently from how I remembered.
Why is he only saying these things now?
Why only now…
Without realizing, I clenched my fists on my lap.
"There's no need to apologize."
The words I once longed to hear from him didn't feel welcome anymore.
Now, they just confused me.
Did he want me to understand his pain now?
Now, after everything?
"Even if I had known back then, nothing would have changed."
Yes. Nothing would've changed.
He would still hate the Heister family.
And I would still have resented him.
He would still care for Layla.
And Layla would never have accepted me.
In the end, nothing would have been different.
I kept thinking like that, trying to remain calm and continue the meal.
But then, Kallion quietly said,
"At least, I wouldn't have misunderstood you."
That one sentence made me freeze.
I turned my head to look at him before I even realized it.
He didn't look away—he held my gaze.
There were complicated emotions in his eyes.
Guilt, regret, anger, frustration.
And more emotions I didn't want to see.
I quickly looked away.
He continued gently,
"If what I said about Layla upset you… I'm sorry."
He must've been referring to what he said a few days ago.
Strangely, hearing about his mother made it harder to stay angry.
To him, I was the daughter of the one who killed the mother he loved.
And Layla… Layla was like family—someone who had been by his side for over ten years.
If he saw his mother die protecting him with his own eyes, no wonder he clung so tightly to the people he had left.
Ironically, just from a few words, my mind began to try to understand his point of view.
Realizing this made me uncomfortable, so I deliberately hardened my expression even more.
He seemed to notice and added carefully,
"If you want, I won't bring Layla back here again."
I was so shocked, I forgot to control my expression and looked straight at him.
Was this really the same Kallion I knew?
He said he wouldn't bring Layla back—the person he trusted and cared for so deeply?
Even if he was just saying it to please me… it was hard to believe.
But then again, he's not the type to say things he doesn't mean.
Seeing my surprised face, he awkwardly avoided my eyes.
"If it makes you feel more comfortable," he said softly.
Even when he asked for my opinion, I couldn't say anything.
I just continued eating with a troubled look on my face.
My mind and heart were too confused to think clearly.
All I wanted was for this dinner to end quickly.
***
That night, lying on my bed, I stared blankly at the ceiling.
Ever since that dinner, I felt like something in my head had come loose.
It wasn't that his apology moved me.
It was just… he had acted so unexpectedly that I couldn't make sense of it.
The Kallion I remembered…
"Just live quietly like a mouse. That's the only thing you can do in this house."
I could still clearly recall his cold eyes whenever I tried to help in the mansion.
"Kallion, I made this for you."
One winter, I had knitted gloves for him because I was worried about his frequent trips and the cold weather.
He threw them in the trash right in front of me.
As if to show me how much he hated and despised me.
"Don't do anything useless, Heister."
He would scold me with that icy voice and cold gaze.
And yet… even after all that, I couldn't let go of my feelings back then.
Maybe it was because I thought there was something hidden in his deep blue eyes.
Maybe I hoped that someday he would open up to me and show me everything.
Was the feeling I had back then somehow related to his dead mother?
Is that why he was always so cold and cruel to me?
Because I was the daughter of the person who killed her?
But… even knowing that, some things still didn't make sense.
For example… how a man who was always cold like ice would, during our nights together, hold me so fiercely, so warmly, so desperately that it brought me to tears.
A soft laugh escaped my lips.
Maybe, in the end, I was just clinging to false hope.
Maybe I was just imagining feelings that weren't there.
Maybe he hated me, but couldn't go against his physical urges.
That thought cooled the confusion in my heart.
***
"Ma'am, how about this mask?"
Kate was excitedly holding up different masks to my face. I smiled faintly.
"That one's nice."
"What about this?"
This time it was a red mask, unlike the purple one before.
"That one's nice too."
"See? You're just saying they're all fine!"
Kate pretended to scold me, and I couldn't help but laugh.
The Festival of Shadows was just around the corner.
It was a local tradition in Valdormer, also called the Shadow Festival.
They believed this night was when the energy of dark spirits was the strongest.
So, to honor them, the Valdormer family and townspeople wore masks and celebrated at midnight.
Other noble families had similar festivals—Marcelino in spring, Heister in summer, Valdormer in autumn, and Silverstel in winter.
Valdormer people believed that on the Shadow Day, their ancestors and spirits joined the celebration before returning to the afterlife.
I had experienced the festival in the past.
Back then, I just stayed in my room and watched through the window.
Most of those memories were ordinary, except for one particular Shadow Festival.
The first one after I married Kallion.
That would've been this year's festival.
That night, everyone was busy enjoying the celebration.
And even though it wasn't a scheduled night to share a bed, Kallion came to my room.
"Yuliana…"
His eyes were unfocused, like he was dazed.
His clothes were messy, and his breath was rough, like he was sick.
"Yuliana…"
With his forehead furrowed in pain, he desperately called my name and hugged me tightly, like I was his lifeline.
His large, strong body was drenched in sweat.
"Yuliana…"
It was strange to see a man usually so cold acting like a child clinging to me.
Then I realized—his body was burning up with fever.
"Are you okay? Are you feeling unwell?"
I asked with concern, but he just buried his face in my arms.
His breath felt like fire, and then… his lips touched mine.
We had shared a bed before, but never once had he kissed me like that.
That's why I remember it so clearly.