At Lloyd's question, my shoulders stiffened, but I pretended not to understand.
"What do you mean?"
"I'm asking why you're doing business through a merchant guild instead of under the Valdormer name."
With no way to dodge, my face went pale. Lloyd pressed further.
"It would be more profitable for Valdormer to handle it directly rather than through a guild."
How did he know?
The Bas Guild wouldn't have revealed anything.
It was as if he could see my expression behind the veil when he continued slowly,
"Almost… like you need money without the rest of the family knowing."
Lloyd already knew.
I realized there was no point in denying it. I sighed and asked,
"How did you find out?"
He smiled faintly and shrugged.
"In the past, around this time of year, the Imperial Palace ran a business with Bendel pine trees. But this time, the Bas Guild was involved, and that made me wonder."
He glanced at the Bas Guild building and added,
"Then I heard today the Imperial Palace was meeting a trader through the Bas Guild. I wasn't certain, but I thought it might be you…"
Since Lloyd also had memories from the previous life, there was no way he wouldn't know about the Imperial Palace's control on Bendel pine from the Silverstel region.
I had overlooked that.
"I didn't think it would actually be you."
He smiled.
"I didn't touch the Silverstel region."
"I know. It's the Helloica region, right?"
"…"
He knew that too.
It was irritating, like being in the palm of his hand. He only gave me his usual gentle smile.
"I don't plan on telling the Imperial Palace."
At least that was a relief.
But he was still troublesome to deal with.
"I'd prefer we stop getting involved with each other, Lloyd."
I deliberately made my tone sharp.
"We were never anything to begin with."
In this life, anyway…
His expression stiffened, but he forced a smile.
"We're not nothing — we're friends."
"…"
"I helped you as a friend."
He was talking about when I fled from Valdormer and had relied on him.
I was grateful for that, but it had only made me more certain — I couldn't get involved with him any further.
For his sake and mine.
My only remaining task was to meet Denian.
"I told you before, even friendship is troublesome for me."
I looked him straight in the eye.
"Please."
"…."
It was from the heart.
After a long silence, he finally spoke.
"You're looking for something in Valdormer, aren't you?"
"…"
After hesitating, he forced out the words in a trembling voice.
"…Is it a child?"
Lloyd knew me too well.
In the past, that had felt burdensome — even frightening.
Now… hearing the one thing I didn't want him to know spoken aloud by him, I couldn't even meet his eyes.
"…Yes."
Another heavy silence fell.
Time itself seemed to stop.
After staring at me for a long while, Lloyd finally said quietly,
"Alright."
I glanced at him instinctively.
He was smiling gently, as always.
I couldn't imagine what he was feeling or thinking while looking at me like that.
"Until you come to me yourself, I promise I won't approach you."
When he turned away, I felt a sudden, inexplicable surge of anger.
What did he mean by "alright"?
How could he smile at a woman who said she wanted another man's child?
And what was that last part — that he'd come running if I called him?
I was angry at him.
No — I was angry at myself.
"Lloyd!"
He turned, startled, at my shout.
I looked at him with a twisted expression.
"Forget about me and find someone who can love you."
The words were forced out of me.
I didn't know if I had the right to say them, but if I didn't, I knew he wouldn't understand.
His lips curved in a sad smile.
"One person is enough for me — the one I love."
It was a smile that looked as if he were holding back tears.
***
I switched to Valdormer's carriage and removed my veil wearily.
The carriage rolled toward the estate as if nothing had happened.
Only the clatter of wheels and horses' hooves filled the air.
That Lloyd had recognized me instantly, even with the veil, was no surprise.
That was just the kind of man he was.
"…Haa."
A deep sigh escaped my lips.
This was fine.
If we kept our distance like strangers, he'd get tired and give up.
He'd realize how selfish and unworthy I was.
What sane man would look fondly at a woman who left to have another man's child?
It was better this way.
Better that he knew.
While I was thinking this, the carriage arrived at the estate.
As I stepped down, I felt a familiar gaze.
Looking up, I locked eyes with Kallion, who was leaning at the entrance, watching me.
Before leaving today, I'd told the butler I was going to the merchant guild.
Since the night of the Shadow's Day, this was the first time we'd faced each other properly.
"I heard you went to the Bas Guild, but… you look like you just came from a funeral."
He was clearly commenting on my attire.
I hid my veiled hat behind me and replied coolly,
"What I wear is my choice, isn't it?"
I tried to walk past him, but his voice stopped me.
"Why did you change carriages halfway?"
My shoulders stiffened.
"…."
"Did you meet Lloyd?"
From his tone, he seemed to think I'd switched carriages just to meet Lloyd secretly.
"Did you have someone follow me?"
"Answer my question first."
His selfish, domineering behavior made me angry, but I held it back.
The bedding night was less than a week away — this time, I had to go through with it.
It was close to the timing when Denian had been conceived.
I let out a shallow breath and spoke calmly,
"I only happened to run into him briefly after leaving the guild. I switched carriages because it doesn't look good for the lady of the house to enter and leave a guild directly."
But I couldn't hide the hostility in my eyes.
"…."
Kallion studied me quietly, then lowered his gaze and murmured,
"I see…"
"I'll be going in now."
I turned to leave, intending to walk past him into the mansion.
But instead, he pulled me back.
When he saw my frown, he flinched and loosened his grip — but didn't let go completely.
"Let go of me."
Even at my calm request, he kept his eyes on the ground.
I wondered what excuse he'd find to accuse me this time, but then he spoke softly,
"Yuliana."
His voice wasn't angry — it was almost soothing.
I frowned, not understanding, as he continued cautiously,
"I told you before, didn't I?"
He was now looking straight into my eyes.
"That I don't care if you take a lover."
"…?"
He had said that before.
But why bring it up now?
I was still puzzled when he let out a deep sigh, looking pained.
"I can't do that anymore."
"…What?"
I didn't understand.
He ran a hand over his face in frustration.
"I can't stand seeing you with that man, even for a moment."
The same man who once told me to get a lover, even Lloyd if I wanted, now said this.
I was speechless.
After hesitating, Kallion added abruptly,
"The second son of Silverstel… is he really your lover?"