I held Kallion's intense gaze without looking away.
"Does it matter?"
He was the one who'd told me to take a lover in the first place.
Why would it matter who it was?
"It matters to me."
His low voice made me pause.
I didn't understand why he said that — and I didn't care to find out.
Kallion had always misunderstood my relationship with Lloyd.
At first, I hadn't cared if he misunderstood, but now things were different.
Lloyd remembered the me from the previous life.
Getting tangled with him any further was dangerous, for my own sake, since I needed to meet Denian, and for Lloyd's sake too, so he could live a new life.
That was why I had cut him off completely, even revealing the truth about the child.
From now on, I couldn't give Kallion any more reasons to misunderstand.
"…Lloyd and I have nothing between us."
At my flat words, Kallion frowned like he didn't believe me.
Looking him in the eye, I spoke clearly,
"Certainly not lovers."
He stared for a long moment before asking suspiciously,
"Then why didn't you deny it before?"
He had always pressed me about Lloyd, and I had never bothered to correct him.
It hadn't been worth explaining, and arguing with him was meaningless.
"I didn't deny it, but I never admitted it either."
For a moment, he looked blank, then slightly unsettled as if realizing I was right.
I sighed lightly and continued,
"We only shared tea a few times. I stayed briefly at Saintpol, but nothing happened that you should be suspicious about."
If you counted the previous life, that was different, but in this life, it was true: there had been nothing between us.
He looked at me and asked,
"How am I supposed to believe that?"
Still doubting me, he earned another sigh from me.
"Believe it or not, it's up to you. I just answered your question."
"…."
He stayed silent, as if trying to read my sincerity.
Whether he believed me or not didn't matter to me—I only wanted to avoid any further connection to Lloyd.
"There won't be any involvement with Lloyd from now on," I added, almost like I was making a vow to myself.
"I don't want to be misunderstood about things like this again."
His gaze wavered slightly at my firm tone.
Kallion brought his hand to his mouth, fingers brushing against his lips,
an oddly awkward gesture.
When I gave him a questioning look, he turned his head and said,
"I'll try to believe you."
At that plain statement, I looked down at the floor.
Yes, this was right — for Lloyd's sake too.
It wasn't right to use him as an excuse for a nonexistent lover.
As I settled my thoughts, I felt his gaze again.
Kallion looked at me seriously and said,
"I'm sorry for pressing you so hard earlier."
It felt strange—lately, I'd been hearing "I'm sorry" from him more often
than in both lifetimes combined.
I kept my expression stiff on purpose and replied coldly,
"It's fine."
But something about his softened expression bothered me.
Was it really so important to him that Lloyd wasn't my lover?
I didn't know.
With or without Layla, my feelings toward him were still the same, and it was hatred.
The wounds he left in my past life weren't just memories, they were carved into my heart and soul.
***
In his office, Kallion stopped his pen mid-sentence, staring blankly.
"There won't be any involvement with Lloyd from now on."
Tap. Tap. Tap.
His fingers drummed rhythmically on the desk.
"I don't want to be misunderstood about things like this again."
The tapping stopped.
Leaning on one hand, his eyes narrowed in thought.
Maybe she'd just said it to get out of the situation.
After all, Lloyd's gaze toward her had been far too deep for them to be "nothing."
A man couldn't miss such a look from another man.
And yet, strangely, her firm words about keeping a wall between them
made him feel oddly relieved.
Maybe their relationship wasn't mutual after all.
At least, Yuliana seemed to want distance from Lloyd.
When that thought occurred to him, his lips twitched involuntarily.
He adjusted his mouth, feigning indifference.
Was he really feeling… pleased?
Over just one sentence about not seeing Lloyd again?
He didn't understand himself, so he forced his focus back to work, but his eyes drifted to the desk calendar.
The bedding night with her wasn't far off.
The thought alone made a heaviness press beneath his chest, and his heartbeat quickened.
Their first night together had been a disaster, after that, it was nothing but biting and hurting each other.
But this time, he didn't want to face her with that same mindset.
They were already married.
It wouldn't be bad to spend the night with some real atmosphere, whether they slept together or not.
As that thought took root, Kallion found himself pushing his work aside, already planning how to make it a memorable night.
***
Kallion woke from a light nap, pressing his forehead.
Did I fall asleep in the office?
Something felt off.
The office he was sitting in didn't feel like the Valdormer estate.
But it wasn't completely unfamiliar either.
When he walked to the window and yanked open the curtains, brilliant sunlight poured into the dark room.
Hadn't it been nighttime just a moment ago?
The answer was clear as soon as he looked outside —
Under a cloudless sky stretched a vast sea, waves breaking white on the shore.
It was the southern Valdormer villa at Dallot.
Am I… still dreaming?
While he stood there in a daze, a familiar laugh floated in from the beach.
"Denian, come here!"
"Kyarararara—"
Yuliana was smiling brightly, walking along the shore with a small child.
The child's face was hidden, toddling unsteadily but running toward her eagerly.
When the waves came in, she scooped the child up, laughing.
The child spread his arms wide, laughing in delight at the spray.
The sound was so warm and happy that Kallion just stood there, watching silently.
It felt like a part of his chest had been blown open, or maybe like a cool ache deep inside.
Either way, he couldn't take his eyes off Yuliana's joyful face.
***
It was an odd day.
Kallion, who usually only shared dinner with me at the estate, had suggested we go out together.
I was surprised, but I had no reason to refuse.
After a long carriage ride, we left the city around the Valdormer estate and kept going.
"Where are we going?" I finally asked.
"You'll see," he said simply.
Hours passed, and I must have dozed off.
When I woke and lifted my head, I realized my head had been leaning against something and saw Kallion's hand between my head and the wall.
Startled and embarrassed, I turned away.
He withdrew his hand as if nothing had happened.
"Perfect timing. We're here."
The orange light of sunset streamed in through the carriage windows.
I lifted the curtain and caught my breath.
The golden sea glittered beneath the setting sun, a long beach stretching out beside it, and beyond that, a familiar castle drawing nearer.
How could I not recognize it?
This was the place Denian had loved most.
As I stared at the waves, a strange thought hit me.
Kallion shouldn't know about the past where Denian existed… So why had he brought me here?