There are pains a person can bear, and pains a person cannot bear. What I experienced was the unbearable kind.
I thought I would have died right there, but the problem was that I endured too much.
Being alive itself could be considered a blessing, but I'm not so sure about that.
I wondered if the arms, legs, and teeth the Strange One had restored were working properly, and how they had been restored in the first place.
Since this was beyond my understanding, I was left with nothing but worry.
As consciousness awakened, my body trembled violently.
Recalling my time with the Strange One—however long it had been—made me shudder. My limbs ached. My gums felt numb.
Even though everything had been restored and I was physically intact, my body still screamed in pain.
"Aah, aaaahh!"
There should be no pain now. There were no bird-like beaks gnawing at my limbs, no fingers pulling out my teeth, yet I couldn't understand why I still hurt so much.
I could only tremble in fear.
Then someone grabbed me from beside me.
"Kanna...! Are you okay?!"
Even at that voice, I instinctively panicked and convulsed.
I was still gripped by the fear that anyone near me might be the Strange One.
"Eek!"
"It's me, Yoon Ha-min... You're in my house..."
Though I was frightened, it didn't last long.
In my field of vision was Ha-min in his school uniform, looking at me.
Seeing those golden eyes directed at me, I realized they were different from the Strange One's gaze, and I was finally able to calm down.
"...Hic, huff, why? Why am I... at your house..."
I caught my breath and looked around.
Not remembering how I got here naturally put me on edge.
The very fact that I could be moved somewhere without my knowledge whenever I lost consciousness terrified me.
Ha-min hesitated for a moment before speaking.
"...I found you wandering near the Wall, but when you collapsed, I didn't know where else to take you, so I brought you to my house."
Hearing this, I lowered my head and looked at my arms.
My shirt was gone, and the blazer of my Academy uniform hung loosely with blood-stained shoulders.
Though my arms had been restored, the blazer hadn't been washed, so the white fabric was inevitably stained.
"..."
After looking at it briefly, I sighed and tried to get out of bed.
Ha-min stopped me.
"Hey, where are you going?"
"Home. Why?"
"How can you go home in that condition? Besides, it's late."
Hearing that, I quickly turned my head.
Looking toward the window—something every room has—I was greeted by a star-filled night sky.
"...You said five days have passed?"
"Yes."
"What day is it today?"
"Sunday."
I flinched at his words.
Being dragged to a place without clocks, repeatedly beaten, torn, cut, and plucked for who knows how long—day or night—had made me lose my sense of time.
After a dazed moment, I carefully opened my mouth.
"...Sorry, but do you have any sewing supplies? What's it called..."
"A sewing kit?"
"Ah, yes. That. Can I borrow it?"
"I have one. I'll lend it to you."
Ha-min said this and brought a sewing kit from a drawer outside the room, handing it to me.
Looking at the thread and needle, I opened the box and took out white thread.
"Thanks."
I carefully removed my blazer, making sure the sleeve part wouldn't fall off.
The shirt I had worn underneath had long been lost, leaving me with something like a tank top, which was a bit unfortunate. There was no way to restore what was gone.
Still, with the blazer on, no one would know whether I was wearing a tank top underneath, so it didn't really matter.
As I carefully stitched up the tattered sleeve part, Ha-min sat on the bed and stared at me without saying anything.
"...What?"
When I looked up at him because he was staring so intently, his shoulders flinched.
"Nothing, just wondering how you ended up like that."
Hearing his question, I hesitated for a moment.
Many things came to mind, but I was reluctant to speak about any of them.
I worried about what people would say if I told them my limbs had been severed but the Strange One had reattached them and sent me back.
There were no stories of a Strange One letting someone live, so if I were a character in this story, I wouldn't have believed it either.
And this time, I truly had no evidence, so there was no way to make anyone believe me.
I had learned for certain that even if someone says they believe you, without evidence, deep down they can't truly believe.
So in the end, I kept my mouth shut.
"...Who knows."
I was grateful for his help, but I couldn't tell him much more now.
I didn't want to cause any more misunderstandings.
I wasn't blaming or lashing out at him for not believing me unconditionally.
I just didn't want to arouse suspicion with an unprecedented story that had no evidence.
Who would believe me if I said a monster had eaten my limbs multiple times, pulled out countless teeth, but in the end, everything was healed?
Knowing that no one would believe me, I had already given up hoping for someone to believe.
Though somewhat clumsy, I wasn't completely unskilled, so I managed to stitch it neatly.
After sewing as meticulously as possible, it looked fairly clean.
As I was stitching the other side, Ha-min questioned me again.
"I want to know why there was so much blood."
"...Just, somehow."
Since it had become a story I was uncomfortable telling, I couldn't even share these small details.
The atmosphere in the room immediately became awkward after I brushed off his question. I finished sewing and closed the box properly.
The sound of it closing seemed to snap Ha-min out of his daze, but it didn't matter to me.
I had nothing more I could offer him, and I had no intention of doing anything more.
"Thanks for lending it to me. I'll be going now."
I put on the blazer and got up from the bed.
Ha-min seemed to have something he wanted to say, but I didn't want to hurt anymore, so I left his house without looking back.
It was too dark for the bus stop to be operating.
Though it was a bit far, my home didn't seem too distant, so I hurried my steps.
*
"...Damn it."
Crouched in the narrow bathroom, I scrubbed my blazer vigorously on the washboard.
I was trying to clean the blood that had stained the upper part, especially around the shoulders.
I was wide awake since I'd already slept enough at Ha-min's house, so this moment was the time to wash my blazer.
You might wonder when it would dry and when I could wear it, but I had to do this.
I'd try to dry it with a hair dryer in the morning, and if that didn't work, I'd just have to take another day off.
I sighed involuntarily, but since this was my only uniform, I had no choice.
My shirt had become a tank top because the monster had eaten it along with my arms. I was a bit tight on money to buy a new shirt, so I needed to cover it with the blazer, but the blazer was stained with blood, which was quite troublesome.
Of course, I had to wash the tank top too, which made things even harder.
"Should I just take it to the dry cleaner's and take two days off..."
Sweat beaded on my forehead.
I was genuinely exhausted, and harsh breaths escaped me.
I had already failed the exam scheduled for the day after the incident, and since I had already missed Thursday and Friday, I was sure to fail the fifth exam as well.
So I was deeply tempted to just give up completely.
If this was going to happen, I shouldn't have run into Ha-min in the first place.
I covered my face with my wet hands.
Then I dragged them down.
"..."
I'm scared.
The thought that I might suffer even more if I irritated the Strange One again seemed to expand every pore in my body.
I felt cold sweat forming.
Fingers crushed and mangled.
My arms weren't just cut off; they were pecked by bird-like beaks until they dangled and tore off.
After that, hands pulled out my teeth one by one.
Every time I thought about it, I felt pain even though I was perfectly fine now.
It made me dizzy, wondering if this was phantom pain.
With the sensation of heat in my fingertips, I unconsciously turned on the cold water and washed my hands frantically, as if compelled.
"...Ha, huff..."
I tried to swallow, but this fear that wouldn't go away made me curl up involuntarily.
In truth, there was nothing to be afraid of anymore.
There would be no reason or way to interfere with the Strange One now.
Since I wouldn't know where the Strange One would place the totem next, I couldn't go remove it in advance.
If a new monster was released, it would be difficult to figure out how to defeat it.
Even if I recognized the monster, the thought of having to go through this again if I tried to protect others was too terrifying.
So there I was, washing clothes, then frantically washing my hands out of fear, washing and washing and washing.
Terrified because the fear of pain wouldn't wash away.
I curled up in the corner of the bathroom.
"...I hate this."
I'm so powerless.
I'm weak, and now I know nothing.
If I try to move, the Strange One will again...