Kiefer (POV)
It had been two days since I hurt my Jay Jay.
Since then, I had been drinking almost nonstop. Every bottle on the bar counter was empty, scattered carelessly like the pieces of me I could no longer hold together.
But no amount of alcohol could erase the look on Jay Jay's face.
That pain in her eyes haunted me. but doesn't change the fact that I hurt her.
I had done it because I had no choice—because of my father, my enemies, my relatives... because of the inheritance that chained me to a life I never wanted... I was tired of all of it.
The power. The money. The endless expectations.
I wanted to leave everything behind.
I just wanted her.
I wanted to see that beautiful smile on her face when she looked at me—the smile that always made everything else disappear.
I wanted to run into her arms, hold her tightly against me, bury my face in her neck, and tell her the truth I had been dying to say for days.
"I miss you, Jay Jay."
But I couldn't protect her and my brothers at the same time.
If I brought Jay Jay into this world, she would become another target. Another weakness my enemies could use against me. And somehow, in the middle of all this madness, I had found myself the most stubborn queen in the world—a woman who did not give a damn about money, status, or power.
If I had told Jay that my family was elite, that we had more money than we could ever spend, gold piled up in bank lockers, properties, influence ... she would have smiled at me and would have said, "So what?" She never cared about my name, my family, or the wealth behind me.
She only cared about me.
Everyone thought she was weak.
But they did not know the truth.
If I were fire, Jay Jay would be gasoline, and every time she came near me, I would burn even hotter, even brighter—dangerously and uncontrollably. If anyone even tries to touch her shadow, I will open the gates to hell.
If I were a weapon, she would be the only one who knew how to hold me without getting hurt... the only one who knew how to calm the monster inside me. She had me completely under her fingers, every part of me—my thoughts, my heart, my fire—under her control. What did you do to me, Jay?
I had never felt like this for anyone before.
No one had ever gotten under my skin the way she did.
If it were not for Keigan and Angelo, I would never have hurt her.
If she had a passport, I would have taken her far away from this world — somewhere no one could touch her, somewhere I could keep her close and see her every day.
But I already knew what she would do.
She would probably kick me, glare at me with those angry eyes, and call me "gago."
And somehow, even that thought made me smile.
"When are you going to stop this?" Honey asked softly.
"You're here?" I muttered, taking another sip from the glass in my hand.
"If you keep sitting here miserable and drunk, thinking you're protecting her, you're wrong. We still have so much work to do, Kiefer," Honey said as she pulled the glass from my fingers. "If Keigan had not stepped in while you were hiding here, we would have already lost a huge number of shares."
Her words made my jaw tighten.
Before I could respond, she looked straight into my eyes.
"Clyde will reach her before you even get your inheritance."
Her words hit me harder than the alcohol ever could.
Suddenly, I came back to my senses. I walked to my room, took a quick shower, and changed into my school uniform.
By the time I came downstairs, Keigan and Kieren were already having breakfast. I sat with them quietly, forcing myself to eat before dropping them off at school.
Then I went to class.
The moment I stepped inside, I felt it.
The guilt.
The shame.
The way everyone looked at me made me feel like I had committed a crime.
And maybe I had.
Because she was not just anyone.
They thought of her as family.
I walked to my seat and sat down, unable to look at her for too long.
I closed my eyes and thought about Jay Jay.
I knew she probably didn't want to come to school, but Angelo would definitely make sure she did.
A selfish part of me hoped I would get to see her.
Then I heard chairs scraping against the floor.
Everyone was standing.
Someone was calling her name.
When I opened my eyes, I saw her walking toward me.
My chest tightened.
Her eyes looked lifeless... empty.
Damn.
What had I done to her?
"I need to talk to you," she said.
Just hearing her voice made my knees weak.
But I kept my face cold, forcing myself not to show anything.
"What is it?" I asked flatly.
She stared at me for a second before speaking again.
"I wanted to know if maybe you had a reason for pushing me away," she said softly. "Tell me if I can help you."
Her voice shook.
"Don't tell me you do not love me, because I still love you."
Every word felt like a knife twisting deeper into my chest.
"I know you, Keifer," she whispered. "I can see it in your eyes... when you said, 'I love you,' you meant every damn word."
She was trying so hard not to cry.
And that hurt me more than anything else.
"Well... Kiefer..." I said to myself.
Your girl knows you too damn well.
I was almost amused by how easily she could read me.
Even after everything I had done to her... after all the pain I had caused... she was still standing in front of me, telling me that she loved me.
And God... I wanted to tell her it was all a lie.
That I loved her.
That I had always loved her.
That every second away from her felt like hell.
But instead, I stood there like the villain she thought I was.
God... I was evil.
I could not let myself fall apart in front of her.
I needed to push her away.
Because if I gave in now, everything would start all over again.
So I laughed.
Loudly.
Coldly.
Like some kind of villain in a story.
The moment I did, I saw fear flash across her face.
And that look nearly destroyed me.
"You came to school just to ask me that? Let me guess that you thought I would fall in love with you while I was in the plan." I said with a laugh, shaking my head as if none of this mattered to me.
I walked toward her slowly until I was standing right in front of her.
Then I lifted her chin gently and forced myself to say the words I knew would destroy her.
"You're desperate, Jay," I said coldly. "You've never really been loved before, so it was easy for me."
Every word tasted bitter in my mouth.
"Or "maybe I was really great at acting so that you believed me completely."
I looked straight into her eyes while saying it, even though it felt like I was tearing my own heart apart.
I leaned closer as if I were about to kiss her.
She shoved me away immediately.
"Do you know about the bet?" she asked, her voice trembling.
For a second, I stopped breathing.
How did she know about it?
If she knew the truth, she would never forgive them.
And if I were not here, it would be even harder to protect her from everything waiting outside this school.
So I looked away.
I could not meet her eyes.
"Of course you knew," she whispered, spreading her hands helplessly. "Then you never loved me at all... y-you just wanted my body."
The second those words left her mouth, something inside me broke. I wanted to pull her into my arms and whisper to her that I love her and never stopped loving her and to say sorry for making her suffer. My eyes are teary. She saw a crack in my eyes. If she realized I was lying, she would follow me to London.
And I could not let that happen.
…She grabbed my collar tightly, her fingers trembling against my shirt.
"Tell me, Kiefer..." she whispered desperately. "If you still say that you love me, I will forget everything. The plan... the bet... all of it. Just tell me it was a lie. Tell me."
Then the tears finally fell. She had been trying so hard to hold them back until now...she was hitting on my chest.
Hit me.
Scream at me.
Do whatever you want until the pain in your chest finally eases.
If you wanted to kill me, I would not even stop you.
I could not believe that I was capable of hurting the person I loved this much.
How could she still forgive me... even after knowing everything?
How could she still stand there, looking at me like I was worth saving?
After all the lies, all the cruel words, all the damage I had done... she was still giving me a chance.
Still asking me to tell her the truth.
Still loving me.
And that was what hurt the most.
Because no matter how much I wanted to run into her arms and confess everything, I knew I did not deserve her forgiveness.
I wanted to shoot myself.
I knew she would hate me for this.
But I had to do it.
"Are you done?" I asked coldly.
Before she could answer, I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her against my chest, like I needed her to remember how perfectly she fit there.
Then I crashed my lips against hers.
Not out of anger.
Not out of desire.
But because I loved her too much.
I kissed her softly, slowly, pouring every feeling I had into that one moment.
I wanted her to feel it.
That my heart had always belonged to her.
That no matter how cruel I acted, no matter how much I pushed her away, she would always be the only woman I could ever love. Before I realize it, I lose my control. Holding her felt like finally finding warmth after freezing for too long.
I pulled away slowly, trying to hide the storm inside me.
Then I gave her a small grin.
"See?" I said quietly. "You're still so easy to manipulate."
The words felt disgusting the second they left my mouth.
"How could you even think that Mark Keifer Watson would fall for a girl who looks like a tomboy?"
I saw the pain flash across her face, but I forced myself to keep going.
"Even your own family does not want you. Your brother does not even want to admit that you are his sister."
Her eyes widened as if I had slapped her.
"So how could I ever love someone like you?" I asked coldly.
And in that moment, I hated myself more than ever.
After hearing my words, I could see it happen.
Her mind went blank.
She took a step back, staring at me like she did not even know who I was anymore.
And that was when I realized it.
I had lost her completely.
Earning her trust again would be impossible after this.
She almost lost her balance.
For a second, I wanted to reach for her.
I wanted to hold her before she fell.
But I could not move.
I just stood there with my fists clenched at my sides.
Then Emma stepped forward and caught her.
Jay hit his hand away when I tried to take one step toward her.
"Congratulations," she whispered, her voice empty.
"You won the bet."
Then she gave me a broken smile that hurt more than any scream ever could.
"See? I'm completely broken beyond repair."
Every word shattered something inside me.
Because she was wrong.
She was not broken.
I was.
I was the one who destroyed the only good thing in my life.
I did not understand why it had to be me who suffered like this.
The girl I loved was hurting because of me.
And all I could do was stand there and watch her break apart.
Fuck this life.