Ropyr
September 2014
Dawson spent less and less time at the house since I moved in. Trina said it wasn't personal, that Dawson had a girlfriend he stayed with sometimes. She was trying to comfort me but I knew the truth. He didn't want me here. He didn't speak to me and went out of his way to avoid me.
I stopped trying with him. I wasn't going to beg for anyone's time or attention. He didn't like me for whatever reason, and that was fine with me. Eventually I would convince myself that the feeling was mutual.
Jeremy was a good distraction. We weren't officially a couple, but we spent a lot of time together. He drove me to school and back home. The days he had baseball practice, I sat with Neve on the bleachers and worked on school assignments. She became a good friend, too. Miranda and I hadn't exactly bonded the way Trina wanted, but Neve was easier to get along with.
She knew I liked Jeremy and she also knew I had zero experience with boys. When Jeremy and I had weekend plans, she would come over early to help me get ready. Usually that meant she brought clothes from her closet for me to try, and she did have amazing taste. I just didn't know if I would look as good as she did in these outfits.
It was Saturday afternoon and we all agreed to hang out at Chalky's for the evening. Kenny promised to finally teach me some trick shots on the pool table. I doubt he actually would do it because he made those promises every Saturday for 3 weeks now just to change his mind at the last second. He said I wasn't ready. I think he just liked to annoy me in that "big brother" sort of way. I pretended to be super irritated with him but I secretly loved it. I wanted a big brother and Dawson had no desire to fill that role.
"Wear this." She handed me a strapless sundress; white with a floral pattern. A sundress in September? Yes, because it was still eighties degrees. "You have amazing legs and need to show them off. Jeremy said so himself," she winked at me and ushered me into the bathroom to change.
"He really said that about my legs?" I asked when I came back into my room. I looked at myself in the mirror and honestly, I didn't hate what I saw. I never dressed like this before, with my legs showing and everything else barely covered.
"Oh my God, you're so hot!" She exclaimed. "He absolutely said that and man, was he right. You're definitely ending the night with a boyfriend."
Jeremy told me weeks ago that he was going to ask me out "soon." Who says that to a sixteen year old girl? Soon. He mentioned asking me out that one time and never elaborated or said anything else about it again. We carried on like normal. He picked me up for school, held my hand at every opportunity, and kissed my cheek when we had to part ways.
The guys were already at Chalky's when we arrived, fashionably late as Neve said. Apparently it was a sign of desperation and a lack of options to be early or right on time. We sat in the parking lot listening to the most unhinged audiobook, but she turned it off right before my imagination got the best of me.
"Okay, total honesty because I love you, okay?" I nodded, no idea at all where she was headed. "Jeremy is an amazing guy. Cute, smart, sweet. The perfect first boyfriend. If I was into guys and wanted a husband, I'd pick Jeremy. Hands down. But, if you're looking to explore and have a good time, take a ride with Davis. He could teach you a few things. Then you could go cuddle with Jeremy and blow his virgin mind."
I could not believe Neve said all that. There was way too much to unpack in that paragraph. She wasn't into boys? I had no idea. She was such a girly girl and seeing how she and Dawson were all over each other all the time, I assumed she was into him.
"Davis is still with Miranda," I reminded her. I didn't want to think about taking a ride with Davis anywhere. He was annoying and frustrating, and I hated how he always called me Woods with that stupid smirk. He knew he was irritating and that's what made it worse.
She rolled her eyes. "He might still be with her, but she's not with him. If you know what I mean. Besides, the whole school has noticed him noticing you. Let's go."
Inside, Jeremy was sitting at a booth with Davis and Tyrell. Dawson and Kenny were already involved in an intense game. Neve sat beside Davis and stole a pickle off his plate. He smacked her hand and she smacked him back.
"Hey," Jeremy stood, placing a hand on my stomach before I could sit. "Go for a drive with me?"
"Um, okay," I looked over at Neve and she winked. "Yeah," I smiled at him, "let's go."
He didn't hold my hand this time. Instead, he kept an arm around my waist on the walk to his car. I liked that better.
I had been in Jeremy's car several times, gone on a lot of rides with no destination. This felt different. "Where are we going?" I asked when he left the main part of town.
"How do you feel about neon lights and eighties pop music? Oh and the greasiest nachos in the whole county?"
I bit back a smile. "That sounds amazing. New Kids on the Block were my first concert." My mom took me and Khouri to see them when we were about thirteen. There was a concert in Miami featuring New Kids, Salt and Pepa, Tiffany, and Debbie Gibson. It was the best night of my life.
"No kidding? You do strike me as a Donnie fan now that I think about it. I hear he likes blondes, though, so you're stuck with me." He parked at a skating rink and shut off the car. "Sorry, babe," he leaned over to plant a quick kiss on my cheek. I was turning to say something to him at that same moment, so his lips caught mine instead. He froze and his eyes widened. "I am so so sorry. I didn't mean for that to happen."
All I could do was smile when I was with him. "It's okay. We won't count that one."
He held me close against him when we walked into the rink. Little kids were all over, skating and being loud. Confusion was evident on my face. I didn't even try to hide it. "Kids twelve and under skate free on Saturday's," he said. "I needed a witness and knew you wouldn't say no."
"A witness to what exactly?"
"I have a long standing rivalry with a ten-year-old named Reggie. He's a cute kid, but he's a menace. I wanted to have someone here on my side when I take him down." He wasn't kidding. His voice was serious. I could tell his moods by his voice and this was the real deal.
"Keep it clean tonight, Red," a gruff voice came out from a back room. We were standing at the skate rental counter. "I haven't had to unlock the penalty box since last time you were here." The voice belonged to a man in a denim vest that was covered in classic rock band patches.
"There's really a penalty box here?" I asked. This night just kept getting more interesting.
"Honey, Red and Reggie are the reason I even have a penalty box. You haven't told her about—"
"NO!" Jeremy quickly cut the man off. "No, Burke, I haven't told her. Do you see how beautiful this girl is? I want her to like me. I don't need you fluffing up my chances. Can we please get our skates now?"
"Wait," I said, very interested in this backstory, "you want me to like you so you brought me to witness you fight a ten-year-old boy?" Burke had back to us but laughed.
Jeremy stayed very serious. No hint of a smile. "Yes, exactly."
I didn't have any experience skating. None. Jeremy tied the skates for me and very gently held me, teaching me like I was a toddler. I didn't mind his hands on me. Not at all. I really enjoyed that part of the night.
Kids zoomed past us and they all knew Jeremy. "Are you some sort of legend here? All these kids love you."
"Something like that. The rink has always been my safe place. Blocks out all the mental noise, y'know?"
I knew exactly what he meant. Art did the same thing for me. "That's why I sketch and paint. I didn't have a lot of friends back home so I spent most of my time reading and going to museums. I fell in absolute love the Van Gogh. I begged my dad to buy me art supplies and he never told me no about anything, because I never asked for anything. I took a couple beginner classes and I'm pretty good. I'm not bragging or anything, but drawing is the one thing I'm good at. When I first moved here," I glanced over at him, "before you, I would draw all the time."
"I'd love to see your work sometime," he said. "Maybe you could sketch me."
"Maybe I already have," I said, trying to sound teasing the way Neve was showing me.
A boy with a big attitude and even bigger afro skidded to a stop in front of us, causing me to lose my balance. Jeremy caught me, but his hand slid down the front of the dress. That's right. I was wearing a dress. A short dress. A dress and roller skates were not a good combination and I think someone Neve planned this outfit for a reason.
She was a devious little mastermind.
"Ready for a rematch, Big Red?" The little boy asked, puffing out his chest.
"This is Reggie?" I asked. I wasn't sure what I was expecting, but it wasn't this. This kid looked tough. He was big for his age.
"The one and only, Baby Doll," he said with a grin. "C'mon, Red. Winner takes the girl!" Then he was off, cackling as he zigged and zagged through the rink.
"What are you doing?" I asked Jeremy. "Go defend my honor!" I gently pushed his shoulder.
Jeremy raced after Reggie. I stepped onto the carpet and leaned against the half-wall to watch. My dad picked Reggie up and tossed him over his shoulder. Reggie kicked and laughed, said Jeremy was playing dirty.
"Jeremy is so good with him," I turned my head to see a woman standing next to me. She was young, mid-twenties, caramel skin, a hockey stick and puck tattooed behind her ear. "I'm Jazmine. Reggie's mom."
"I'm Ropyr," I said with a small smile. "Jeremy's great. Everyone here seems to adore him."
"He's a good guy. He's like a surrogate big brother to my boys," she popped a piece of popcorn into her mouth. We watched our boys chase each other around for a bit. "You're Trina's niece?" She asked.
"Yeah. I'm staying with her and Douglas for a little while." Please don't ask why. Please don't ask about my dad.
"I've heard a lot about you. From Trina, but mostly Jeremy," she smiled like a proud mother. "He's crazy about you, Ropyr. If you care about him, and seeing how you're looking at him with stars in your eyes right now, I think you do, tell him. He needs someone to care about him. He deserves that." She squeezed my arm then yelled for Reggie to come over. It was getting late and she had to work in the morning.
Jeremy brought him over to his, tucked under his arm. The little boy was sweating and out of breath but he had the biggest, brightest smile on his face. "Did you win?" I asked him.
Jeremy set him on his feet. "Not this time. Your man don't play fair." He squinted at Jeremy, then looked sweetly at me. "I'll get you next time."
"Go home, Reg, it's past your bedtime," Jeremy said, getting a snicker of a laughter from me and Jazmine.
Reggie said he wasn't tired, but he let out a loud yawn. My date carried him to Jazmine's car and buckled him in and said goodnight. I kept my distance to give them privacy, and to also watch Jeremy interact with them. They looked like they could be a happy family. He really was amazing with the kids, and it did something magnificent to my heart hearing all the little inside yelling for him. I was sure I fell in love with Jeremy that night.
He drove me home and opened the car door for me. I wasn't ready to say goodnight yet. When he took my hand and walked toward the porch, I pulled him back. "Tonight was fun," I said.
"Not a bad first date," he agreed, tucking my hair behind my ear. He left his hand on my cheek and I leaned into it, liking how the warmth of his palm felt against the cooler night air. "I really want to kiss you. A real kiss, not what happened in the car earlier. I cannot apologize enough for that," he smiled, a small laugh escaping.
"I might be bad at it," I admitted, feeling insecure and shy suddenly. "I've never kissed anyone before."
"Neither have I," he said. "I guess we'll just have to be bad together."
We leaned in at the same time and went for it. No overthinking. No anxiety. But instead of our lips meeting, our noses collided with a loud THUNK. "Oh my God, that did not just happen," I covered my face with my hands and turned away from him.
He laughed and pulled my hands away. "Don't hide. Let's try again. Come here."
The second time was perfect. He held my face; my hands gripped his large biceps. It was sweet and gentle. It was perfect, and I wanted more.
"No one's home if you want to come inside…" I said. I wanted him to say yes, but internally I was panicking that he would say no. I didn't want him to have the wrong idea about me.
"I'm not sleeping with you on the first date. I don't know what you've heard about me." He looked so serious that I couldn't stop myself from laughing.
I kissed him again. "C'mon. We can watch a movie or I can show you my sketches, or we do something else." I grabbed his hands and pulled him behind me.
"Or something else…" he said, teasing me.
I closed the bedroom door and slid off my shoes. Jeremy stood there with his hands in the pockets of his jeans looking nervous and adorable. This was new territory for me, too. I've never had a boy in my room before. I've never even had a boy in my home before.
"Do you want to watch a movie?" I asked. "I have a bunch. Mostly Adam Sandler and horror. A few classic Disney choices."
He made his way over to the shelves where I kept the movies. I stood beside him, wondering how bad he was judging my taste in films. "You really like the SCREAM movies," he said, matter-of-factly.
"They're my favorite. Wes Craven is a horror legend. I drew a portrait of Freddy Kruegar when I was twelve and it's still hanging on the wall inside the Bluebird Café."
"Davis loves those movies, too. I'm not big on horror. Now this," he picked Grosse Point Blank. "is a good one. Cusack's your dream guy, right?"
I told him about my love of John Cusack a month ago. How I related more to his character in High Fidelity than in Say Anything. Like most girls, I did swoon at the boombox scene, and I hoped to one day have a boy love me that much, but High Fidelity? The overthinking and anxiety and wondering if I'm really the problem…that hit home. "He did set the bar pretty high," I said with an innocent shrug.
I sat on my bed against the pillows while he put the movie into the DVD player. It was old and a little finicky, but I paid two bucks for it on a thrift store run with Tyrell.
I felt so awkward on the bed with Jeremy. He kept picking at his thumbnail, which I learned meant he was uncomfortable. About thirty minutes into the movie I couldn't handle it any longer. "You can go if you want. Maybe this was a bad idea."
"No, I want to be here," he said defensively. "If you want me to go then I will, but I don't want to. I'm just having a hard time focusing on the movie when you're wearing that dress and laying like that."
I looked down at myself. I was on my side facing him, but the dress was so low-cut that my chest was on full display. I should have been embarrassed, and for a split second I was, but then something changed. "We don't have to watch the movie."
He rolled over, giving me his full attention. "What do you have in mind?"
I picked at an invisible thread on the quilt Trina made. "Maybe we could kiss some more? I could use some more practice, I think."
"Okay, yeah. We could do that. I mean, we should be good at kissing if we're going to be in a relationship, right?" My eyes lit up and I nodded. He moved closer and kissed me once, very softly, then he kissed me again and it was more natural. It was deeper and it meant more than the awkward first kiss outside.
I rolled onto my back, bringing him over me. The dress was short and I could feel every part of him against me. My body reacted before I could think about it. I opened my legs more to give him space to be comfortable. He made a hungry groan into my mouth and kissed me harder.
I pulled his shirt over his head, needing to feel his skin. He was always so warm. He was careful about touching me. He moved his lips from my mouth to my neck, to my collarbone, then he got brave and kissed the top of my breasts that were exposed. I didn't protest when he pulled the thin fabric down. "Is this okay?" He asked, his breathing has heavy and uneven as mine.
"Your mouth on my boob? Yeah, that's okay." His laugh was my favorite sound. "Hold on," he moved to let me sit up. I pulled the dress over my head and dropped it onto the floor, leaving me in my bra and panties. I was comfortable with him. Not at all insecure with my body. "I'm not seducing you tonight, don't worry."
He bit his lip as his eyes roamed over me. "You sure about that?"
"Not tonight. Ask me to the Fall dance and then we'll talk seduction," I unzipped his jeans and pulled him back down once he was out of them.
The next hour was spent kissing and touching and exploring. He was making my feel things I had only ever read about. When he pulled back I literally whimpered.
"I should go, Temptress." He kissed my neck once more then hopped off the bed.
"Probably a good idea," I agreed. I lay there watching him put his clothes back on. Jeremy really was hot. Sexy, even. I knew he didn't like his freckles, but I loved them. I loved everything about him.
I loved him, but I wasn't going to be the first one to say those words.