It's past midnight. The orphanage is silent with shallow breaths and creaky beds but the cut on my side keeps me awake. I won't be able to sleep with the pain. I can't shift or change position. And it's not like position I am now is the best.
I open my eyes and look through my window. The moon is out, it's light slipping into my room and Illuminating my bed space. I won't be able to sleep. I know it, so I do the thing I do best. I get out from bed and slip out through the window, climbing the familiar trail of Watcher's Rise.
I ignore the cold biting down on my skin, and sit on the grass, resting my back against a smooth stone. I lift my shirt and wince at the sight of an angry red line, still raw and swelling. I touch it gently and hiss under my breath, it wouldn't heal quickly. Not like this. I pull my shirt down when I hear a soft movement behind me.
I turn, hearing the sound of crunching leaves. A figure steps out and it's Lyara. She steps into the moonlight, her arms folded, and her coat tied loosely at the waist. Her dark hair's a mess, but her eyes are sharp. She asks. "Need company?"
I stare at her, blinking softly and ask. "You followed me?"
She shrugs. "Not like it's the first time."
"What?"
"I know this is where you always go, I see you sneak out…"
I scowl. "You spying on me now?"
"Doesn't matter. What matters now is that I feel guilty." She comes close and sits beside me, pulling something from her pocket. It's a small jar wrapped in cloth. The smell hits me instantly, it's an ointment made from mint, ash, and something herbal. She moves to raise my shirt and I narrow my eyes. "What are you doing?"
"Helping," she says flatly. "Now shut up."
"I don't need your help." I say.
"You're bleeding. I think you need all the help you can get."
I don't answer. I just press my shirt back down, looking away. She raises a brow. "Seriously? Listen if you don't let me treat it, I'll tell the matron you snuck out."
My eyes snap to her. "You wouldn't."
She gives a fake smile and uncorks the jar, dipping her fingers in. "Try me."
I look at her again…again and again. Like I'm trying to understand what her problem is exactly.
"Come on, Ashen. Lean over," she says, her voice softer now.
I sigh and lean slightly to the side, pulling the shirt up again. She doesn't say anything for a moment. Just stares at the wound, then reaches out and gently dabs the ointment across the cut. It stings, but not as bad as I expected.
"I didn't mean to hurt you," she murmurs.
I glance at her. "You've said that before. You don't really think I'm going to believe you, do you?"
She sighs. "I was mad. Not at you. Just… life and that asshole Jacob."
I huff a small laugh before I can stop myself. "Jacob's enough for a reason."
She smiles softly and pulls a few thick flat leaves from her pocket next, presses them gently over the ointment before wrapping a strip of cloth around my side.
"Where'd you learn to do that?" I ask.
She looks up briefly. "My parents were herbal doctors."
That catches me off guard. I hadn't known that. Then again, no one really talks about their past in the orphanage. We're all too used to pretending we never had one. "I didn't know that."
She nods. "Of course you wouldn't. Not like you met them," she then smiles. "They used to treat half the village. People came to them with fevers, coughs, burns. I used to help grind leaves when I was little."
"Do you know….what happened to them?" I ask.
Her hands pause. "I don't know," she says after a long silence. "The Overseer told me they went missing in the Duskwilds when I was five."
I look at her, but her face doesn't change. "But that's what he tells all of us. Every kid in the orphanage has the same story, your parents went into the Duskwilds and never came back," I say.
"Maybe it's true," she offer, but her voice is uncertain. I shake my head. "Maybe. But it feels like a lie. A neat, simple lie meant to make us stop asking questions."
She doesn't say another word. We both don't and just watch the wind pick up the grasses from the ground. After a while, Lyara leans back, resting on her hands and speaks. "You ever think about going past the boundary?"
"All the time," I say without hesitation and her head turns to me, her lips twitching into a smile.
"I figured."
I glance down at the wrapped cloth on my side. "Thanks, by the way."
She nudges my shoulder with hers. "You're welcome, idiot."
"You know you shouldn't tell the Matron about this place. It's forbidden and…"
"I'm not stupid, Ashen. I won't tell a single soul. It'll be our little secret. Just you and I," she says with a bright smile.
"Ye..ah," I stutter and face my front.
"So, am I forgiven? She ask.
"Well… I could think about it. I mean, I can't just forgive you… you pushed me into a rod and it hurts so.."
"Fine. I'll redeem myself." I turn to her, raising a brow. "You seem nice, Ashen. I've watched you for a long time. Except you're intensively loud and quite annoying. I think you're different from other kids in the orphanage. And I like different."
I chuckle and look away. "Different ehh. That sounds… weird coming from you. I mean, you never smile. You act like the whole world owes you something and you want to take it all back even if it means burning it down."
She chuckles softly, looking down. "I just… love my quiet space."
"Hmm. You're taking mine now," I say and we look at each other. Eyes meeting. This is the first time I've had a close proximity to her. Her eyes are hazel green, beautiful and carrying a spark I haven't seen before. She should smile often, it'll look beautiful on her.
"I want to be your friend, Ashen," she says snapping me out of my daze and I realize I've been staring. I immediately look away, clearing my throat and running a hand through my hair. "I want to be close to you all the time," she continues and that's when my attention moves to her. "I want to be that someone you can confide in. I want to be that someone who's always there for you. Can you accept my request, Ashen Drelhart?"
My posture sudden stiffens, my muscles becoming rigid. I look at her. Her eyes are hopefully, expecting a reply in her favor. I rub the back of my neck, a sudden heaviness settling down my stomach. "What are you talking about?"
She smiles softly. "You don't have to answer me now. Just know that I've got you, no matter what."
I nod and look the other side, squeezing the eyes shut and hugging my knees close to my chest.