Lin Shen waited for the laughter to die down before the vowing ceremony began
At his side, Lei Huang flicked his tail lazily, a faint arc of lightning snapping in the air as if he too was waiting for the ceremony to continue.
The hall slowly settled, though the occasional chuckle still slipped through.
Lei Huang yawned, the sound low and rumbling like distant thunder, completely unimpressed by the tension filling the hall.
Even now, a few guests kept their distance from the three towering figures—just in case "father" came with responsibilities.
Then a sect elder stepped forward, clearing his throat as if trying to restore several centuries of dignity at once.
"The ceremony will now proceed." He announced
Lin Shen and Sun Rong stood side by side and for a brief moment everything aligned.
"First bow—Heaven and Earth."
They bowed as the air itself seemed to still, as if even the world acknowledged the moment.
Lei Huang lowered his head slightly as well before immediately losing interest and glancing around the hall for something more entertaining.
High above—
Heaven Breaker whispered,
"Are we included in that?"
Lei Huang lifted his head at that, as if genuinely curious, his ears twitching once before he settled back down.
"Do not move," Hell Bringer replied instantly. "We move the venue collapses"
"Got it" Heaven Breaker replied
"Second bow—To the elders."
Lin Shen straightened, then bowed again, this time toward the gathered sects.
Somewhere in the crowd, an elder nodded with great satisfaction at least not before ARCHON adjusted his stance and the ground trembled slightly.
Lei Huang responded by tapping the ground once with his paw, producing a sharp crack of lightning that made several nearby guests flinch.
"He's bowing too," One of Lin Shen's disciples whispered.
"He's not bowing," replied another disciple "He's just recalibrating."
"Third bow—To each other."
Lin Shen and Sun Rong turned and just for a moment the noise, the tension, the absurdity, all of it faded for just a second and they bowed.
And just like that the ceremony was over.
Lei Huang stretched out fully, claws scraping lightly against the floor as tiny sparks danced along his body.
"Bring forth the cups." The lead attendant shouted
Two ceremonial cups were presented.
Their arms crossed which they found was slightly awkward and briefly uncertain
But then they remembered everything they've been through together and everything that lead to this point.
Their arms steadied and then they drank.
Lei Huang watched the motion closely, tilting his head slightly as if trying to understand why this ritual involved no destruction whatsoever.
A quiet murmur spread through the hall, that spread through completion
"That's it?" Heaven Breaker asked.
"That's it," Hell Bringer replied.
There was a long silence
"That was… less destructive than expected."
"It's a wedding."
"Yes, but with us involved—"
"Do not finish that sentence."
The elder raised his voice once more.
"The ceremony is complete!"
Applause followed—louder this time, freer.
The tension had finally broken for good and Lin Shen let out a breath he realized he had not been holding in.
"Finally," said Lin Shen feeling at peace which soon shattered when a loud crack echoed through the hall.
Everyone froze and slowly turned around to trace the noise
a banquet table tilted before collapsing
Lei Huang sat beside the fallen table, completely still, as if he had nothing to do with it despite the faint sparks still fading around him.
As plates slid. Cups shattered. Food disappeared beneath the wreckage.
There was silence
Then Heaven Breaker spoke
"I barely touched it,"
Lei Huang blinked slowly, then looked away as if refusing to be involved in the discussion.
"You leaned on it," Hell Bringer replied.
"It looked stable."
"You outweigh the concept of stability."
ARCHON stared down at the remains of the table.
"Are we allowed to eat now?"
Lin Shen closed his eyes and thought about saying no but against every instinct that screamed at him to say he did something no one expected
"Yes,"
Lei Huang's ears perked up instantly at that single word.
That was the third mistake of the day as moments later an entire section of the banquet was missing.
In the middle of it, Lei Huang could be seen lowering his head toward the remains, casually eating as if this were the most natural thing in the world.
A guest blinked
"What in Heaven's name just happened"
"Was that an entire table" Another guest shouted
Laughter erupted again, louder than before even the elders who maintained composure laughed out aloud.
Hyun Jong and Namgoong Jinho turned away, shoulders shaking.
"This… is not recorded in any tradition."
Lin Shen pressed his fingers against his temple.
"I just wanted one normal wedding."
Lei Huang let out a low rumble that almost sounded like disagreement.
Sun Rong took one look at the chaos the broken table, the missing food, the three towering disasters pretending innocence.
Then a slow smiled formed on her face.
"You brought them." She said
Lei Huang flicked his tail proudly, as if including himself in that statement.
"They invited themselves." Lin Shen replied
She stepped forward slightly, her voice calm almost amused.
"If you're going to cause problems…"
Another silence filled the room as everyone turned to listen
"…at least make it worth watching."
Lin Shen turned to her slapping his head on his face in that way people do when they see someone do something incredibly stupid and said:
"…Please don't encourage them."
The banquet settled into a strange half celebration, half cautious observation rhythm.
Lei Huang moved freely between tables, brushing past cultivators and sect leaders alike, completely ignoring the fear he caused.
Alliances that would never exist under normal circumstances now shared tables because leaving felt more dangerous.
A group of elders from a distant sect leaned close together, voices hushed.
"That attire…" one muttered, glancing at Lin Shen.
"Not of any region I recognize."
"Not just attire," another replied.
"The material, the stitching… even the way it fits. It's… unnatural."
"You think it's an artifact?"
"No."
A long pause
"…I think it's knowledge."
A quiet crackle of lightning passed behind them as Lei Huang walked by, none of them daring to acknowledge him.
At another table, a younger cultivator stared openly at the three towering figures.
"So… are they actually his children?"
"If they are," his companion replied, not looking away,
"then I'm never arguing with him. Ever."
Lei Huang paused near their table for a moment, staring at them just long enough for both of them to immediately look away.
"I wasn't planning to breathe too loudly near him either."
Across the hall, two sect leaders sat opposite each other, cups untouched.
"We should leave," one said quietly.
"You can try," the other replied.
Both glanced just briefly toward Hell Bringer.
Neither dare move
Lei Huang slowly sat down nearby, his presence alone enough to ensure that neither of them even considered it.
Meanwhile Heaven Breaker did what he always did if left unsupervised.
Causing chaos while also trying not to cause it
Heaven Breaker crouched near a table, examining a dish with intense focus.
"This one survived," he said.
Lei Huang leaned in beside him, inspecting the same dish with equal interest.
"Do not destroy it," Hell Bringer replied.
"I'm observing."
The table creaked.
"…You are leaning again."
ARCHON stood nearby, still holding one of the empty trays.
"If consumption is part of the celebration…"
He paused.
"…then we are performing well."
Lei Huang let out a soft approving sound before taking the food for himself.
Lin Shen, in the distance, heard that but he chose to ignore it for the sake of his own sanity.
"Yes, I built them they can try eating but where does the food go in the first place, they are literally robots that run on QI. Wait a minute where did that food even go in the first place"
Not far away, Lei Huang swallowed another portion whole, a faint glow of lightning pulsing briefly in his throat before fading.
Near the center of the hall, a few bold guests approached cautiously.
One of them bowed slightly toward Sun Rong.
"Sect Master… congratulations."
She inclined her head in acknowledgment, calm as ever.
"You chose an… interesting partner."
Her gaze flicked briefly toward Lin Shen who was busy thinking how were the food they ate even went
"He is effective."
The guest hesitated before asking another question
"…And them?"
There was a small pause.
Sun Rong looked toward the three towering figures who were built for war but behaved like children for once, one inspecting food, one standing guard, one holding a tray like a relic.
Then she spoke, completely serious:
"They are part of the dowry."
Lei Huang raised his head at that, clearly pleased with his new status.
The guest froze before regaining his composure.
"…I see."
He did not, in fact, see.
Laughter rippled again through the nearby tables.
Not far away, two rival sect members found themselves seated side by side.
Normally, this would have ended in blood.
But today was different
The two of them silently poured each other drinks.
"Truce?" one muttered.
"…Temporary," the other replied.
Both of them glanced upward.
"Very temporary."
At the head of the hall, Lin Shen finally allowed himself to relax—just slightly.
The chaos hadn't turned into disaster.
The factions hadn't started fighting.
And somehow…
everyone was still alive.
He looked at Sun Rong.
"…I think this counts as a success."
Behind them—
another table cracked.
Lin Shen closed his eyes.
"…Mostly."
Behind him, Lei Huang curled up on the floor, lightning flickering softly around him as he drifted into a peaceful sleep, as if none of the chaos had ever concerned him in the first place.