Friday, November 21
"You have to answer, Harry," Hermione sighed. "It's part of the game."
"Well the game is stupid and I don't want to," Harry scowled.
"Booooock, booooock," Ron said, probably impersonating a chicken, as if that would cause Harry to answer Blaise's stupid question.
"It's fine, if Harry's too scared to answer, we can skip him," Blaise said with a smirk.
"Fine." Harry threw his hands up in exasperation. "I'd marry McGonagall, kill Sirius, and shag Flitwick. Are you happy?"
Harry's friends in their circle on the dorm floor howled with laughter until Neville was literally pounding the floor with his fists.
"Why- why would you kill Sirius?" Susan asked, tears clinging to her lashes from her laughter. "He's your godfather!"
"Exactly, so it would be gross to marry him or shag him, wouldn't it?"
"McGonagall's a damn sight prettier than Flitwick," Ron grinned.
Harry shrugged. He just liked his hypothetical odds against Flitwick more than McGonagall, even if Ron was right and McGonagall was more attractive. "Imagine Sirius rolling in his grave though when I marry his Minnie," he smirked.
Luna laughed until her head fell over on to Trent's shoulder, knocking Trent to the floor, causing the others to laugh even harder.
Harry had no idea how they started such a daft game, but Blaise said that the seventh year Ravenclaw boys had played it in their dorm one night and he loved it.
"My turn now, isn't it?" Harry asked. He eyed the others when Blaise agreed until he landed on Neville. "Nev, shag, marry, kill: Snape, Sirius, Lupin?"
"No fair!" Draco cried. "If he kills Snape then you'll curse him!"
"No I won't," Harry said with a roll of his eyes. "I know it's a game, Dray. C'mon, Nev, if I had to answer, so do you."
Neville's face was beet red as the others looked at him, but he took a fortifying drink of Ron's smuggled bottle of firewhiskey and answered anyway. "Shag Remus, marry Snape, kill Sirius."
"Poor Sirius," Trent laughed gleefully. "It just isn't his night, is it?"
"Why would you marry Snape?" Draco asked Neville incredulously. "You were terrified to ask him for a game of cards, but now you'll ask for his hand in marriage?"
"Forget that, why would you shag Lupin over Snape or Black?" Susan asked, just as incredulously as Draco. "I'd shag Snape and Black together before I shagged Lupin."
"Ew!" Trent cried. "That's disgusting!"
"That's actually- no, it's not," Hermione giggled with a blush.
Harry was inclined to agree with Trent on that one.
"Neville doesn't have to explain his choices if he doesn't want to," Blaise said loyally. "Even if he chose alllll wrong. I'd marry Black, shag Snape, and kill Lupin."
"I did not choose wrong, you're not thinking it through properly," Neville said stubbornly. "Snape's terrifying, right? Like, if someone hurt Harry then he'd kill them. Imagine what he'd do if someone hurt his husband, eh?"
Harry nodded in instant understanding. "You'd be the safest person in the entire bloody world."
"Exactly," Neville smirked. "And... er... well... Sirius is a nice bloke, alright? But... but I just think he'd be a bit too nice, and Lupin would be... a bit... less nice?"
"A wild animal in the sack," Susan said seriously. "God damn, Neville, you're right. Lupin is the obvious choice of a rough shag."
Harry joined the others in laughing that time. Only Susan would think Lupin, with his faded cardigans and bland smiles and softly spoken words would be an 'obvious choice of a rough shag'.
Even if Harry had no idea why Susan would want a shag to be rough in the first place.
"My turn," Neville grinned. He tapped his cheek thoughtfully as he looked the others over before landing on Luna. "Lunaaaa," he sang, already sounding partly inebriated. "Shag, marry, kill: Blaise, Ron, or me."
"Oh, fuck," Trent hiccuped, his eyes eager as he watched Luna ponder Neville's question.
"I would kill you, marry Blaise, and shag Ron," Luna said firmly.
Ron and Blaise looked really pleased with themselves, until Luna added:
"I would want Juliana to be my mother-in-law more than your gran, and I just think Ron would be really grateful to be shagged, and he'd want to make sure I enjoyed myself so I let him do it again."
Harry fell flat on his back as he laughed at that. Maybe this game wasn't so stupid after all. In fact, after the annoying week he'd had, this was just the thing to relax.
Harry had been released from the hospital wing before lunch on Sunday, and had consequently broken every bone in McLaggen's hand by Sunday night. Luckily, Susan reminded Harry that bones could be mended quickly, but took at least a few painful hours to regrow, so Harry concentrated hard and managed to vanish a couple of them.
McLaggen tattled, because he's an idiot, and Snape had Harry in detention three nights in a row. A cunning ruse for Snape to pester the hell out of Harry on his 'mummy issues' (Fred's phrase he used when Harry told him about it). Harry didn't 'elaborate' and Snape eventually dropped it, but neither of them had been happy about it.
So it'd been a bit of a shit week, and it didn't get much better when Thursday night Trent returned to the dorm and told Harry he had been 'carefully questioned' on Harry's activities by Dumbledore. Harry didn't want to have Trent swear in to the gang, but fuckin Dumbledore didn't leave him many options.
They were even relaxing their rule on letting Trent drink to sort of make it up to him. Even though Trent had been thrilled to officially be in the gang.
Harry was pretty sure that Dumbledore had been fishing for a way to pin Ginny and Finnigan's attacks on him- it would make it easier for him to kill Harry if he was expelled, but Trent hadn't fallen for it even if the rest of the castle firmly believed Harry had been behind the attacks.
So the gang was celebrating.
Susan said any time one of them refused to answer Dumbledore's questions it merited a fun sleepover.
Harry wholeheartedly agreed. Plus, if anyone got stabbed and obliviated tonight, he'd have nine alibis that could swear he was getting pissed and playing games in his dorm all night.
"Why does nobody ever ask me anything?" Trent scowled when Luna turned to Draco with a wicked smile on her lips.
"Because you're our little baby PJ and you shouldn't be thinking of shagging anyone," Hermione teased him, causing Trent's scowl to increase.
"Draco, my handsome, wonderful, sweet Draco."
Harry knew whatever Luna was about to ask was going to be hilarious, and Draco knew too because he was already downing his third shot of the night in preparation.
"Shag, marry, kill: Harry, Ron, or Susan?"
"You are supposed to be on my side," Draco hissed while the others screamed their laughs.
"This isn't a team sport," Luna winked.
Harry tilted his head at Draco, smirking just a little when Draco seemed to look between Susan and Harry a lot.
"Marry Ron," Draco finally said confidently. "Shag... Harry, but definitely before I killed Susan."
"No qualifiers!" Theo protested between his laughter.
"You aren't even gay!" Susan cried. "We kissed, once! Why would you kill me and not Harry?!"
Draco sighed and gave Susan a look of pure exasperation. "Do you honestly think I could kill Harry?"
"D'you think you could kill Susan?" Harry asked with a smug smile.
"I like my odds better with her than you," Draco said.
"Why are you killing Susan after shagging Harry?" Neville asked.
"Because if I killed Susan before I shagged Harry, then Harry would kill me mid-shag and that is a terrible way to die," Draco shuddered.
"That's precisely how I want to die," Blaise laughed. "Aah, just buried in—"
"Kindly do not finish that sentence, Zabini."
Harry looked up from his glass he was refilling and saw Snape standing in their doorway.
Fuck.
Harry very unsubtly threw the uncapped bottle directly underneath the nearest bed, leaving a trail of strongly scented firewhiskey behind it.
"Sev," he said cheerily, "what's up?"
Harry's smile slipped as he registered Snape's expression. He didn't even look annoyed at the bottles of alcohol, one of which Harry swiped from his own cabinet. He looked... tired? No.
Sad.
Snape looked sad.
"I need Miss Bones," Snape said softly. "Susan, come along, please."
Nobody was laughing, or felt like laughing, anymore. Harry felt his insides freeze as he looked up at Snape. Instinctively, his hand reached out and grabbed Susan's right hand tightly.
"She didn't do anything," Hermione said. "We've been in here since dinner and Susan and I had classes together before that."
Harry didn't think Susan was in trouble, and, judging from the way Susan was crushing Harry's fingers as her breaths became loud enough to hear over Harry's thudding heart, Susan didn't think so either.
"Susan has done nothing wrong," Snape said. His voice was all wrong. It was gentle, soft. Like he was approaching a wild animal, not talking to a group of teenagers. "Susan, will you come with me, please? Harry may join us, if you would like."
"I'd like you to tell me now," Susan said. Her voice was trembling, terrified, and it put Harry on a sharp edge.
Susan was never terrified of anything.
"I believe we should have a modicum of privacy," Snape said.
"No!" Susan snapped. "Tell me now, Snape. TELL ME."
Don't say it, Harry mentally begged him. Go away. Don't say it. Don't say it.
"There was an attack early this morning-"
Please, no. Don't say it.
"Amelia was killed."
Harry didn't know who cried out first, but, like magnets, Harry and Susan turned to each other and clung together.
"Make him leave," Susan whispered in Harry's neck. "Please, make him leave."
"Take it back!" Harry yelled at Snape over Susan's shoulder. His vision was a bit blurry with his shock and his anger, but he could still see Snape standing there dressed in his black robes. "Take it back or fucking leave!"
Susan's wails began after Snape quietly said he would wait for her in the hall.
Harry held Susan as tightly to him as he could, and the others circled around them, burying Harry and Susan in their arms and their silence.
Amelia.
Kind, funny, sweet Amelia.
"Maybe it's a mistake," Blaise whispered desperately. "Maybe they're wrong."
"Maybe they aren't," Theo said softly. "She m-might have been a big target."
Hermione pinched Theo's arm as Susan's sobs increased in both tempo and rate.
There wasn't anything to say after that.
Nobody spoke for a long time.
Harry held Susan.
Susan held Harry.
Susan sobbed loudly in Harry's chest.
Harry became so enraged, so shocked, that he felt numb.
And the others tried to offer silent comfort, while thinking of their own families.
It felt like an eternity when Susan's sobs tapered off and she mumbled something indecipherable in Harry's chest.
"What?"
Susan pulled her face back just enough to be understood. "Who?" she whispered.
Harry knew what she meant.
Who just got moved to the top of their list?
"Do you want me to go ask?" Hermione offered, her cheeks wet with her own tears.
"No." Susan struggled to sit up, as buried as her and Harry were beneath their very well-intentioned friends. Luna silently handed her a towel and Susan wiped her face and tucked the towel in her shirt collar carelessly. "I'll go."
"We'll all go," Ron offered, the others nodding in immediate agreement.
Susan's eyes welled with tears again that she let fall. Harry squeezed her fingers and gently helped her to her feet. "Snape's in the hall," he said quietly. "We don't have to go, if you don't want to."
"I need to know."
Harry and Susan led the way to the door, the others following behind them. Harry looked at Susan one more time before reaching for the handle. She met his eyes and- oh -it hurt to see her devastation shining through her eyes. She jerked her chin upwards though, so Harry opened the door.
Snape, who was slumped against the wall, straightened himself as they trooped out of the dorm as a singular unit.
"Sus—"
"How?" Harry asked for Susan.
Snape understood him at once. "I don't know, precisely" he said. His eyes were dark, devastated in his own private way, reminding Harry that Snape and Amelia were friends of a sort. "Shacklebolt is in Albus' office, he will have your answers."
"Lead the way," Susan said, her voice hard.
Snape's eyes flicked over the others quickly, but not quickly enough to be unnoticed.
"We're going with her, sir," Neville said firmly. "We're Susan's family."
Snape's eyes softened as he saw them all stand firm in their resolve. "Very well," he said. "Come."
They made a dour procession as they walked down the stairs and through the half-filled common room. None of the Slytherins said a word as they took in the squared shoulders, red-rimmed eyes, and absent smiles as the ten students followed silently behind their equally silent head of house.
They all knew what must have happened.
Nobody spoke, aside from a few sniffles here and there, until Snape approached the stone gargoyle that guarded Dumbledore's office.
"Jelly Slugs," Snape said.
The gargoyles leapt to the side, and Harry gave Susan one last searching look.
"Don't let go of me," Susan whispered.
"Never."
Harry kept Susan's smaller, harder, hand tightly gripped in his while they all followed Snape up the spiral stairs and in to Dumbledore's office.
Dumbledore was seated behind his desk, the lines of his face deeper than they were last time Harry saw him, and the bags under his eyes said quite a bit about his level of comfort recently.
Pity, Harry thought uncharitably.
The tall auror with the bald head and golden earring, Shacklebolt, stood in one corner of the room, and Sirius and Professor Sprout stood beside him.
Harry felt a twinge of actual genuine pity for Sirius who looked absolutely miserable.
'Amy', he called Amelia.
His friend 'Amy'.
Susan's aunt 'Amy'.
The witch who took Harry in for two weeks one summer and took him to carnivals, took him swimming with Susan, and who just a couple of weeks ago took Harry to get ice cream after telling him the Dursley's were dead.
'You're my favorite honorary son,' Amelia winked.
War was cruel.
And whoever did this was dead.
"Oh Susan," Professor Sprout wrapped Susan in a warm hug as Harry's friends tried to crowd together inside Dumbledore's office.
"Severus, it is a bit snug in here, isn't it?" Dumbledore asked quietly. "Perhaps some of the students could wait for their friend downstairs?"
"Perhaps you can wait downstairs," Theo snapped coolly. "We are Susan's family, you are nobody."
Had Harry ever told Theo he was his favorite brother? If not, he would have to later.
Shacklebolt stepped forward quickly, standing between Dumbledore and the students, blocking Harry's view of the biggest threat in the room.
"Susan." Shacklebolt grabbed Susan's empty hand and knelt in front of her, causing Sprout to shuffle to Susan's side. "I am so sorry."
"I don't want your FUCKING APOLOGY," Susan yelled. "What happened?! I want to see my aunt!"
Shacklebolt didn't look cowed by Susan's shout. His face remained calm as he waited for her to give him his chance to speak.
"There was an attack," he said slowly. "Six death eaters broke in the Ministry early this morning. They were moving towards the Minister's office, killing anyone who stood between them. Your aunt tricked three of them, she led them to an empty office and locked them in the room, but she had locked herself inside as well."
"And they killed her?" Susan whispered, her tears seemingly endless as the streamed freely down her face.
"No. She killed them."
"That doesn't make any fucking sense," Harry said. "Quit speaking in god damned riddles and tell us what happened."
Shacklebolt's eyes turned to Harry, and he didn't look impressed with his interruption, but he did appease him.
"Amelia blew the office up," Shacklebolt said, turning back to Susan and looking at her as he spoke. "She killed all three of them, but sacrificed herself in the process. The others managed to kill four ministry employees. Amelia undoubtedly saved a lot of lives, including the Minister's, with her sacrifice, Susan. She died a hero."
Harry couldn't close his eyes, not with Dumbledore and Shacklebolt in the room, so he compromised by clenching his jaw hard enough to feel the strain clear down his neck.
'Sacrificed herself' just meant she knowingly left Susan behind.
'Died a hero': gone forever.
Harry would never sacrifice himself. He would never purposefully 'die a hero'.
How could Amelia do that to Susan? She told her she loved her, then left her.
"Where are the other three?" Susan asked. "I want their names and I want them dead."
"One died, one was captured and is headed to Azkaban, and one evaded arrest," Shacklebolt said. "Vengeance won't bring her back, Susan. I'm so sorry."
What good were his fucking apologies?
What good did Amelia do by loving Susan if she left her?
"Shut up," Susan whispered. She closed her eyes and dropped Shacklebolt's hand, grabbing Harry's hand with both of hers now. "Shut your mouth. I want to go see her."
"Susan, you can't," Sirius said hoarsely from the side of the room. "There was only a bit to identify her with."
"What?" Harry's eyes flew to Sirius. If they had identified Amelia by a small body part, then maybe she isn't dead at all. That's how they identified Pettigrew, and he lived for 13 more years before Harry killed him.
"I made the identification," Shacklebolt said quietly. "Sirius is correct, there was only a small bit to identify her with."
"But then she could be alive!" Harry cried. He stared almost pleadingly at Sirius. "Like Pettigrew, yeah??"
"No, pup," Sirius shook his head sadly, his eyes shiny with tears, "not like Pettigrew."
"But it could be," Draco argued.
"It couldn't," Shacklebolt said. He grimaced and looked up at Sprout before speaking very slowly, "Amelia was identified by a large portion of her- her brain."
Not like Pettigrew at all then.
Susan let out the most heart-wrenching wail that Harry had ever heard before sinking to her knees, pulling Harry down with her.
Harry knew there wasn't anything to say, so he just held her as she shook and cried in the middle of the floor. He could feel the others watching them, pretending they weren't watching them, and Harry would hate for anyone to see him like that, especially Dumbledore, so he clenched his fingers tightly and forced his magic to shield Susan from view.
Susan had never cried so much in all the time Harry knew her, but he supposed losing her aunt was significantly worse than losing an arm.
Shacklebolt quietly offered to take Susan out of the castle for a few days, which stopped Susan's tears for a few minutes.
"No, thank you," she said dully, getting to her feet slowly, as if she'd aged 100 years in the last couple of hours. "I'd like to stay here."
"Of course, sweetheart," Sprout said, her tone sympathetic and her eyes filled with pity. "Why don't I take you back to lay down? Get some rest?"
"I will do it," Snape said. "Black, inform me of the details when you have them?"
"Yeah," Sirius looked blank, like he wasn't sure how he got to where he was. He shook his head a little and nodded. "I should have it by morning."
Harry was mystified what they were talking about, but Luna seemed to understand.
"You should have it on a weekend, or cancel classes for the day. A lot of us will want to be there," she said quietly.
"A wise decision, Miss Lovegood," Dumbledore said softly. "If Amelia's services are on a weekday, Hogwarts will close for it. Susan, please do not worry about your classes right now. Your professors will assist you in catching up when you're ready."
Harry held back the urge to snap at Dumbledore.
Susan didn't.
"Gee, thank you, sir." She glared at Dumbledore with as much venom in her gaze as in her tone. "What a fucking kind offer."
One of their friends gasped, Harry was pretty sure it was Neville. Someone else snickered quietly, and Harry saw from the corner of his eye that it was Trent.
Dumbledore didn't say anything, but he did glance at Trent, so Harry caught Dumbledore's blue-eyed gaze as he slung free arm out and threw it over Trent's shoulders.
Don't talk to Susan and don't fuck with Trent ever again, Harry thought very pointedly in Dumbledore's direction. They're mine. Not yours.
Harry doubted that Dumbledore actually heard his thoughts, but the message seemed understood all the same because he nodded in Snape's direction, a silent dismissal.
Harry counted the deaths he owed Timmy for as Snape led them back to the dungeons, bypassing the Hufflepuff common room entrance.
Timmy had taken six.
Harry had taken four directly, three more that were confirmed at Malfoy Manor, two indirectly by taking Snape and Lucius, and Amelia took three.
Six to twelve, Harry pushed through the mental link as he walked. Time to find a new job, noseless. You're not doing so great as a Dark Lord.
Harry hadn't expected a response, he only lingered with the link open long enough to know Timmy heard him, so he froze in place when he heard Timmy's sibilant voice hissing back in his mind-
Join me then. Join me and we will kill our enemies together.
"Harry?"
Harry blinked, ensuring his surprise was hidden behind a more solemn expression. Susan was standing beside him, her face curious as she waited for him. The others were just ahead, watching Harry as well. Harry shook his head and offered Susan a small smile.
"Sorry," he said. "Let's go."
They caught up to the others and Harry sent Timmy one more message before following behind them in the Slytherin rooms.
You are the enemy that I'm going to kill.
Then he closed the link firmly and focused his attention on Susan.
Snape escorted them clear to Harry's dormitory door and paused after he opened it.
"If you need anything," he said quietly. He placed his hand on Susan's shoulder for a moment before pulling it back, giving Harry a small nod, and leaving.
"Did Professor Snape just give us permission to have girls in our dorm all night?" Trent asked in surprise.
"Professor Snape knows we need to be together," Luna said simply. She climbed in Harry's bed and held her arms out for Susan.
Harry watched as Susan threw herself in Luna's arms and let her rock her back and forth as she stared in the void with a lifeless expression.
And, just as it had been when Luna's dad died, Harry had no immediate enemy in front of him to kill. No revenge to wreck on her behalf in the moment.
Which made him useless.
"What can we do?" Theo asked quietly, sounding just as lost and useless as Harry was feeling.
"Grab the pillows," Hermione said, taking charge as she cleared away the bottles and glasses from earlier. "All the pillows and blankets, give them here."
The other boys snapped in to action and immediately began dragging the pillows and blankets off all the beds and handing them to Hermione. Hermione waved her wand and levitated the beds together against one wall, leaving a large empty space for their gang to sleep on on the floor.
Once Hermione was done, Blaise went over to Harry's bed, the only bed still in its original position, and carefully lifted Susan out of Luna's arms.
"Come on, Susan," he murmured to her. "We'll all sleep on the floor like animals together."
Susan didn't smile at Blaise's poor attempt to joke, but she did nod compliantly and let him settle her in the center of the mess of pillows and blankets.
Harry inched backwards slowly as the others silently began preparing for bed. He needed his gun, his knife, his cloak, and maybe his Felix Felicis. There was one death eater that escaped today, he could find them. They might even lead him to Timmy. If Harry worked fast, and the potion gave him some extra luck, he could keep Timmy from taking anyone else before Susan even woke up in the morning.
He would have done it. Just slipped away and burnt the lone death eater to ashes while everyone else slept, but Susan suddenly looked up and caught Harry's eyes as he was reaching for the door handle.
"Going somewhere?" she whispered, causing the others to look at him too.
"I wanted to go talk to Snape," Harry lied. "Get some sleep, Sue. I'll be back in a bit."
"You're a shit liar," Susan said plainly. "Don't leave me, please?"
"D'you want to come then?"
"Tomorrow," she said with a sad smile. "We'll kill them all tomorrow."
Harry wavered for a moment, weighing the need for immediate action against the sight of Susan so pitifully holding her hand out for him.
"Tomorrow," he sighed. He climbed over the pillows and blankets until he was right beside Susan. "We'll kill them all tomorrow."
Susan burrowed herself in Harry's side, so Harry pulled a blanket up over them while the others got situated.
Harry didn't care if Timmy was immortal, he didn't care if Timmy wanted Harry to join him for some berserk reason—
When Susan woke up, they'd make a plan, and Harry would take this pain Susan felt out in Timmy's blood.
***
'You're my favorite honorary son,' Amelia laughed. She stood beneath a tree, smiling up at Harry and Susan as they perched in a branch. 'Climb down here and we'll go on an adventure.'
Susan climbed down, happily throwing herself in Amelia's arms. Harry was about to join them, but he saw a glint of silver glimmer beneath Amelia's shirt sleeve by her wrist.
'Why do you have a knife?' Harry asked.
Amelia's eyes flashed, turning from teal to red for a split-second. 'Don't worry about that,' she laughed airily. 'Come on, Harry, go on an adventure with us.'
'Come on, Harry!' Susan yelled up at him with a bright smile and joyful eyes. 'Join us!'
'Join us and we'll kill our enemies together, Harry,' Amelia hissed in Parsletongue.
Harry's stomach clenched at the noise. 'You can't speak Parsletongue,' he said slowly. 'Amelia doesn't know how. Amelia's dead.'
Amelia pushed Susan to the side and the knife Harry saw beneath her sleeves snicked to her hand. 'Join me,' she hissed, her eyes entirely red now. She aimed the knife at Susan, 'Join me, Harry, or I'll kill her.'
'Harry!' Susan screamed shrilly. 'Harry!'
***
"HARRY!"
Harry jerked upright, one hand reaching for Susan, the other summoning his knife.
He blinked and it was Ron's face in front of him, his skin stark white beneath his freckles.
"Send Snape a message, quick," he said urgently. "Susan's hurt."
Harry looked over where Susan was meant to be, on his right side, where she always was, but all that was beside him were pillows and blankets.
"Where is she?" Harry asked, moving to his feet in one quick movement.
"Bathroom," Ron said. "Mione found her, healed her, but she needs Snape."
"Move." Harry pushed him aside and lunged towards the bathroom. He wasn't going to go get Snape if Susan was hurt. Harry was already pulling on his magic, welling it up in his hands, preparing to heal Susan when he threw the door open and pulled up short.
"Sue?" he whispered, uncertainly.
Hermione was kneeling in the middle of the marble bathroom floor, her hands were bloody where she clutched at Susan, and her eyes were wide and terrified.
"Snape," Hermione whispered. "Go get Snape."
It took Harry a moment to make sense of the blood on the floor, the knife slack in Susan's golden hand, and the patchy looking raw skin on her left forearm.
As soon as it clicked together in his head, Harry turned on his heel and sprinted for Snape.
He couldn't have cast a patronus in that moment if he tried.