Friday, December 12
"You swear?" Harry whispered in the mirror.
"Solemnly," Fred grinned.
"How many?" Susan asked over Harry's shoulder.
"Two dozen."
"Oh my God, how?" Susan breathed, a real spark of excitement in her voice.
Fred turned his head left and right, looking around to ensure his privacy before leaning towards the mirror like a dramatic prat. "Magic," he whispered.
"Dump him," Susan said flatly, throwing herself back on Harry's headboard. "What an arse."
"He's an arse with two dozen guns," Harry reminded her.
"Fine." Susan flipped her hand in the air. "You shouldn't marry him though, I've changed my mind, you and I should get married."
"The Vice Minister cannot be the Minister's wife!" Fred yelled.
"Sorry," Harry smirked in the mirror, "Susan was here first—"
"And I'm here now while you're out fucking around," Sudan chimed in.
Fred made big blue puppy eyes at Harry, who blinked at him, unimpressed.
"Fine," Fred said. "I suppose I'll see what Verity is doing for the rest of her life..."
"I hate you," Harry scowled. He hated that witch with her long pretty blonde hair, her soft laughter, and her long legs that worked with Fred every day while Harry was trapped in Hogwarts. "It's going to be your fault when I snap and kill her one day."
"He's gay Harry," Susan sighed. She shook her head at Harry and nearly smiled. "You jealous thing."
Harry shrugged then gave Fred a sheepish grin. "See you tomorrow?"
"Wouldn't miss it for the world," Fred winked. "Bye Suzie-Q! See you tomorrow, my love."
"He's ridiculous," Susan said after Harry hung up. "How do you put up with him?"
"The same way I do you, I suppose," Harry shrugged. He checked his wristwatch and grimaced. "Are we doing this?"
Susan sighed heavily and nodded. "I guess so."
Since Susan sighed, Harry briefly considered asking if they could skip it tonight, but then he remembered what Lupin said and he sighed as well.
'It would be helpful for Susan.'
Harry didn't care what the Sorting Hat said, Lupin was as manipulative and cunning as any Slytherin.
Harry doubled their privacy charms before turning to face Susan on the bed. "Five minutes, go."
"Today was terrible," Susan said immediately. "Professor Sprout still looks like she's going to cry every time she sees me. I'm sick of our classmates acting like I'm some tragic orphan. And it's bloody daft I have to go to a meeting this week about having a guardian when I'm going to be seventeen before school gets out this summer and everyone knows I'm moving in with you. I'm so horribly sad, all the time, but this morning I laughed at Luna and then felt guilty for laughing because I should be sad forever even though I think Auntie would hate that."
"Forty five seconds," Harry told her.
"I'm lonely," Susan said. "I want a Fred or Draco or Hermione for myself. Even Ron is practically in a relationship now and I want someone to myself as well. Or am I just sad and think a relationship would fill this hole in my heart?"
"Time," Harry said when the second hand passed the 12. He carefully considered everything Susan said in her five minutes. "I don't think you should feel bad for laughing, I think Amelia would be happy if you laughed. She liked to see you laugh, and I do too. You can just tell them at that meeting that you want Snape to be your guardian too, I'm sure he won't mind. If anyone looks at you pitifully then you should hiss at them, that's what I do. And if you want to date someone, ask them out, I guess. Who would say no to you? You're perfect."
Susan gave Harry a half-hearted smile and held her hand out for his watch. "Your turn."
Harry ground his teeth as he undid his watch and handed it over. He didn't mind listening to Susan's problems, but he hated sharing his own.
Susan politely didn't look at him, she tilted her face down to the watch, letting her curtain of red curls hide her face. "And, go."
Harry pulled at the yarn on the blanket they were sitting on, feeling the cord stretch and release between his fingers. "I hate when it's cold outside," he said, talking slowly to try and stretch out his five minutes. "I think it reminds me of the dementors. I still think this is stupid, but I want you to be happy again, so I'm doing it."
"Your feelings, Harry," Susan hummed. "Or I reset the clock."
"Fine," Harry grit out. "I feel cold, I feel bored, and I feel like- like either everyone's going to hate me or die, and I hate that, don't I? I was hoping Snape would be too busy to remember my potion on Wednesday so I didn't have to fucking take it so I could fly for a while, but he remembered and I couldn't just not take it in front of him. I hate how bloody depressing the castle is right now, and I can't wait for Christmas break so we can all go home for a bit."
"One minute left," Susan said.
"I feel like nothing is going good lately and if I get one more fucking bit of bad news that I'm going to lose my mind."
"Time."
Harry huffed out an enormous sigh and threw himself back on the headboard beside Susan. Susan made it look easy, but talking about your 'feelings' for five minutes a day was bloody exhausting.
"My turn to comment," Sudan said quietly, nestling in to Harry's side. "I think you're drowning, I think it's just not as bad as it used to be, so you don't think you're drowning, but you are. None of us could ever hate you. And maybe- maybe we just have to find our own happiness?" Susan grinned, and it wasn't as bright as her old grin, but Harry knew she was doing it just for him. "Do I sound like Lupin?" she asked. She stuck her nose in the air haughtily. "Your feelings are valid, Harry. No emotion you feel is wrong."
Harry forced a short laugh to pay her back for trying to smile for him. "Everyone needs support," he quoted back to her. "I think you two would be excellent support for one another."
"Of course we are," Susan said primly. She scooted to Harry's side and laid her head on his shoulder. "You're my best friend, stupid."
"Are we done?" Harry asked, a bit desperately. "Can we go to sleep now?"
"God yes," Susan said. She pulled the rainbow blanket that Luna made Harry down so they could slip beneath it. Harry flipped over on his stomach, his face turned away from Susan because he was sick of getting her hair in his mouth while he slept, and he reached out hesitantly to grab her hand.
"I love you," Susan said quietly. "I couldn't do this without you, you know."
"Do what?" Harry asked, his voice just as quiet as hers.
"Any of it," she said seriously. "I just couldn't bear any of this without you."
"Same," Harry admitted. It was easier like this, when it was dark and they didn't have to see each other. It made it seem more like they could pretend they didn't say these horribly vulnerable and weak things in the morning. "Don't ever try and leave me again, please. I'd probably die without you."
"You definitely would," Susan whispered, "because you're an idiot."
Harry snorted, glad the moment was over. "Go to sleep, you twit."
Harry and Susan were jolted awake by Trent throwing open the bed curtains with a huge slightly bucktoothed smile and a hasty, nearly corporeal, shield.
"Is today the day?" Trent asked.
"Kill him," Susan mumbled in her pillow. "Just kill him and let's go back to sleep."
"Trent, leave Susan alone," Hermione said bossily from Theo's bed. "She's tired. It's Saturday. Let her sleep in."
Ever since Susan came back to school, Hermione's been as glued to Susan's side as Susan had been Harry's.
Which was actually a little annoying because Hermione had a lot of strong opinions on Harry's activities.
And Harry didn't care if Theo was a great brother or not, if his girlfriend called Harry 'unmotivated' one more time, then Harry would curse her.
He wasn't sure how smuggling two dozen guns and a crate of ammo from the States clear to Hogwarts was 'unmotivated'. Or how killing Timmy and Dumbledore was 'unmotivated'. But he was beginning to think Hermione needed to sort out her priorities.
Except Susan was thrilled with spending more time with Hermione, for some ungodly reason. Apparently Hermione 'saved her life', as if Harry wouldn't have saved her...
...if he had woken up to use the loo when Hermione did.
Harry did owe her something for saving Susan's life, but he hadn't cursed her so far, so he had hoped that would count.
"Susan, I'm going to my dorm to get dressed, do you want to come?" Hermione asked kindly.
"No, I'm wearing Harry's clothes," Susan said simply. She yawned and stretched on the bed, kicking Harry as she did. Harry got up and scowled down half-heartedly at her. She was already in his tshirt. Harry had no idea when she'd formed an emotional attachment to his clothes, but it was annoying seeing her snag his favorite shirts or jackets right before he did.
"PJ is also wearing Harry's clothes," Blaise said, smirking at the jumper of Harry's that he outgrew and gave to Trent. "And," Blaise sent a pointed look at Harry and Theo, "what happened to no shagging in our dorm? Hmm?"
"Did you have sex in here?" Harry quickly glowered at Theo in true irritation. "We fuckin agreed."
"No, we didn't agree, you told us," Ron muttered with a roll of his eyes.
Harry ignored him.
"We did not have sex in here, we just- just cuddled," Theo said, his face bright red as Blaise and Trent snickered.
"Theo's girlfriend isn't the one half dressed," Draco said, glancing where one of Susan's bare legs was pointing out from beneath Harry's quilt.
"Susan isn't my girlfriend," Harry said flatly. "You know that. Grow up, guys."
"You're right," Ron said, "She just sleeps in your bed... Half dressed... Wears your clothes..."
"Says she loves you..." Blaise said.
"Makes you plates at meals..." Theo grinned.
"And you two do everything together," Trent added, glancing at the other boys with a grin that stretched when Draco winked approvingly at him.
"I'm sorry you boys never had a best friend, but Harry and I are not dating," Susan said firmly, finally rolling around and sitting up. "I am in fact single, tell your friends. I think I'd like to try dating."
"Go out with Neville," Blaise suggested quickly. "He's handsome, funny, smart, and very nice. He'd make a great boyfriend."
"Susan doesn't want someone 'so nice'," Hermione said matter-of-factly. "She wants someone kind, but a bit rough around the edges."
Harry ignored the others as they teased Susan and tried to make her smile. He chewed on his lower lip and watched Theo closely through hooded eyes. There had to be something he could offer him...
"Theo," Harry interrupted the others abruptly after coming up with a brill idea, "You can shag Mione in our dorm if you won't throw—"
"I will absolutely throw a fit. Don't you dare," Theo scowled. "I would rather be intimate with my girlfriend in the bloody Great Hall with all the Gryffindors watching and writing essays critiquing my form and stamina than have you bring a crate of guns in to our dorm."
Harry blinked in surprise.
Hermione blushed bright red and sputtered a protest.
Blaise, Ron, and Draco all imagined that scenario with grimaces of various levels of distaste.
Trent scrunched his nose up, obviously a bit confused, as usual.
Then, the best noise Harry had heard in weeks, filled the room with a practically musical sound.
"I'm sorry, you would rather fucking what?" Susan gasped. She rolled on her side on Harry's bed, her knees drawn up to her chest, suddenly laughing as loudly and earnestly as she used to.
For the first time since the night they were told Amelia died.
Harry felt his lips curl up in a smile, watching Susan's infectious laughter cause the others to laugh, and he carefully stepped closer to Theo.
"That's the only reason I'm not bringing them in our dorm," Harry murmured quietly, nodding his head at his giggling best friend. "Otherwise I would."
Theo looked over his shoulder where Hermione was now giggling next to Susan, and his eyes softened as he watched the two girls for a moment.
"Happy to be of service," he said sarcastically. "No bloody guns in our dorm."
"No more guns in our dorm," Harry said with a sharp smile and a friendly wink.
A couple of hours later, everyone was bundled up and standing in the entrance hall, planning on walking to Hogsmeade together.
Harry felt a bit smothered as he had Susan, Hermione, and Theo chatting about runes on one side of him. Luna and Draco on his other side, cuddled to each other's side and whispering back and forth with flushed cheeks and sparkling eyes. Ron, Neville, Blaise, and Daphne were in front of him, arguing lightly over some bit of defensive magic they'd been learning in class. Trent and Sapphire right behind him, loudly talking about gobstones. Harry liked being around his friends, but he would be relieved when they reached Hogsmeade and inevitably split up and Harry could meet up with Fred and enjoy a bit of quiet.
He missed Fred, much more than he expected he had been able to miss another person.
Harry looked around subtly at his friends. How had he become so dependent on these people? Harry always knew it, from the time he was young and saw kids dying on the streets, but Amelia's death just drove home the reminder that no matter how fond of anyone Harry might be, they could die.
At least a few of them would probably die before Harry did, even if they all outlived Dumbledore himself.
And then what would he do?
Harry sighed and buried his hands a little deeper in his pockets, his thoughts swirling effortlessly towards a dark vision of a world without his gang, his friends, where he was alone. He was brilliant, powerful and strong, but he was pathetic and weak without his friends. And he had no idea how that had happened.
It was this vision, of Harry alone and trying to stumble over his obstacles without anyone beside him, that carried him in to Hogsmeade.
"What's the plan, Harry?" Susan asked him.
Harry peeked towards the Hogs Head, where he knew Fred would be waiting. "I'm going to meet Fred, d'you wanna come with? We're moving that stuff today."
"Can we come?" Trent asked, Sapphire looking at them curiously.
"No," Harry said. "You're not sneaky at fuckin all and I'm not getting expelled because you're too damn loud."
"Hey!" Trent yelled, loudly, proving Harry's point. "I am too sneaky!"
Harry raised an unimpressed brow at him.
"I am!" Trent protested. "I stole your scarf today and you didn't even notice."
"I did notice," Harry drawled, narrowing his eyes at the green Slytherin scarf Snape bought him. It had been one of Harry's first ever gifts, and if Trent ruined it then Harry would hex the hell out of him. "And I'm still pissed, aren't I? More reason for you to go do something else for a bit. Take your girlfriend to get chocolate, or something."
"You have a girlfriend?" Sapphire asked Trent with a crease between her brows as Trent turned a furious red color and scowled at Harry before grabbing Sapphire's hand and storming away.
"That's him taken care of then," Harry huffed out a laugh. "Sue, what's your plans?"
Susan kicked a pile of snow, sending flakes up in the air around them all, and shrugged. "I was going to go to the bookstore with Hermione, but I can come with you instead."
Oh thank God.
Harry loved Susan, perhaps more than any other person in the world, but between the long days of counseling together at Moon Lodge, the long nights talking in Harry's bed every night, and the way she kept ripping his chest open and causing him to expose the weak and raw parts of himself that he would rather keep hidden—
Harry desperately needed a short little break from Susan.
Harry caught Hermione's eyes, and Hermione looked up to the sky, then down to her shiny shoes.
She would keep Susan safe for a few hours.
"Nope, no problem," Harry said, trying to sound casual and breezy as opposed to hasty and relieved. He didn't want to hurt her feelings, but he needed a chance to fucking breath too. "You lot have fun," he said, already backing away quickly, "See you later."
Harry didn't run, but it was a near thing.
When he burst through the door of the Hogs Head a few minutes later, his eyes immediately skipped over Abeforth, skipped over the skulking and dark robed customers hidden in the corner by the bar, and landed on Fred.
"Fucking thank God," Harry sighed. He threw himself immediately in the booth beside Fred and tried to soak up his... his... his something that made him so damn simple to be around.
"Miss me?" Fred asked quietly, throwing his arm over Harry's shoulder and waving his wand in his other hand, giving them a hazy shield for privacy.
Harry hummed noncommittally, unwilling to mention just yet that he actually had missed him. Instead, he busied himself with removing his jacket and trying to be as close to Fred as he could without seeming like he was being clingy.
It was odd, as only fifteen minutes ago he'd thought he wanted space from people, but now he found he'd rather be jammed by Fred's side than anywhere else.
"Everyone's driving me mad," Harry said glumly once he felt he probably couldn't be any closer to Fred without climbing in his lap.
Which he absolutely would not be doing.
In public.
"What are they doing?" Fred asked, his tone even and his arm steady as it wrapped around Harry's shoulders.
"Breathing," Harry quipped, then immediately winced. "Not that," he said hastily, drawing a pattern on the table with his thumb. "It's just... just... Trent keeps stealing my clothes! And Ron and Blaise want to talk all the time. And Draco walks around looking like he's the happiest bloke in the entire world, even though his dad is in fuckin prison. Theo and Hermione are always either reading, or studying, or just- being in love, I guess. Susan is so damn sad, and I can't fix it, and we keep talking about 'feelings' which drives me mad, but I want her to stop crying herself to sleep at night. Luna can't help with Susan, because when Susan cries, Luna cries, and I can't handle them both crying at the same time. Snape's got all this stupid secret shit he's doing, and I'm the one who can't breathe! They're suffocating me, Fred!"
Fred, to his never ending credit, didn't laugh at Harry's heated and selfish rant. He just listened patiently as Harry complained about the only people in the world that gave a damn about him, and waited until Harry was silently glowering at the table for his turn to talk.
"You are so stressed out," Fred said quietly. He put his hand on Harry's, ending his ability to rub the tabletop with his thumb. "You're shouldering all of Susan's pain, worrying over Snape's secrets, and trying to be there for everyone and you can't do it all. You need a break."
"I can't take a break!" Harry yelled, distraught and frustrated. He was also very idly glad for the privacy Fred gave them, ensuring Harry wasn't making a crazy scene in the middle of the pub. "I have to make sure nobody runs off and kills themselves! I have to make sure Timmy can't take any more of my people! I have to find out what fucking Dumbledore is up to! I CAN'T TAKE A BREAK!"
Harry folded his arms on the table and collapsed his head on them, burying his face and breathing deeply, trying to calm the inappropriate rage that was boiling beneath his skin.
It was all true.
All of this shit was all Harry's problem.
And he hadn't even known until a few weeks ago that he needed to worry about his friends killing themselves off on top of worrying about Timmy and his followers trying to do it.
He didn't want to wake up one morning and find out Trent slit his wrists open. Or that Neville sacrificed himself and 'died a hero'.
He want to go to sleep, and wake up, every day with his people alive. Was that really too much to ask for?
Was it too much to ask that they kept themselves safe when Harry was fucking sleeping?
It was no wonder he slept like shit lately.
"Darlin." Fred was running his fingers through Harry's hair, scratching his scalp lightly and melting a small amount of the tension in Harry's shoulders. "They aren't possessions, they aren't things you have to look after."
Harry let his head thunk on the edge of the table as he pulled his arms down and wrapped them around himself. "I know they aren't possessions," he sneered to his lap. "But they're my friends, my people, and I've got to fuckin make sure they live, don't I?"
It had been a rhetorical question. More of a statement really. So Harry hadn't expected Fred's gentle, but firm, negative response.
"'No'?" Harry repeated, lifting his head and fixing Fred with a derisive stare. "That's barmy, Fred, and you know it. You're all fuckin targets because of me, Timmy said so himself. 'Join me or I'll kill them all', d'you not remember that?"
"Oh I get threatened by Dark Lords all the time," Fred said serenely. "It's a bit hard to keep track of them at this point."
Harry raised his brows a little, but didn't relent in the face of Fred's joke.
"Darlin, come on, most of us would have been targets even without you," Fred said, dropping the joke in favor of speaking earnestly. "Ron, Neville, Susan, Luna and I are all 'blood traitors'. Hermione and Trent are muggleborns. Theo and Draco had fathers in the death eaters, they probably would have been forced to join by now. Blaise is- well... okay, maybe Blaise is only a target because he's your friend, but he's the only one."
Harry sat all the way up, dropping his arms from his stomach and letting them fall on his lap. "I didn't mean to say all that," he said flatly. "I'm done talking about it."
"I'm glad you told me," Fred said. He seemed to know that Harry needed a change of subject though, because he wiggled his eyebrows at him and smiled Harry's favorite smile. "Wanna see a cool magic trick?"
"Alright then."
Harry watched as Fred ducked beneath the table, popping out and dispelling his privacy shield to strut confidently over to the bar top. Fred propped himself against the counter, leaning casually against it with his ankles crossed as he chatted up Abeforth for a few minutes.
...had Fred always looked so fit?
While Harry was subtly eyeing Fred's toned arms and his long legs, Fred was enacting some type of deal with Abeforth that involved a lot of laughter, cheery smiles, and eventually he traded a small stack of coins for a key with a leather keychain attached to it.
"I'll just grab this..." Fred grinned and flicked his wand at the bench across from where Harry was seated.
Harry cocked his head at Fred when nothing happened.
"Three crates, all charmed to be invisible," Fred murmured. "C'mon, I've got us a room upstairs."
Harry's excitement at the prospect of opening the crates crashed almost immediately in to a brick wall of nerves.
"For- for why?" he asked, tripping over his words and his feet as he followed behind Fred to a set of stairs in the back of the pub. Fred turned and looked at Harry with his brows furrowed down for a moment before he squished his eyes shut and reopened them.
"Just to hang out," he said quietly. "Nothing else, I swear."
"'Kay." Harry shrugged, attempting to look bored and casual as they walked down a short corridor with a giant hole in the floor on one end. It wasn't that he didn't want to spend some time alone with Fred, it was just... he didn't really want to do it here. He jammed his hands as far in his jean pockets as they would go when Fred unlocked the door with a gold 2 on the front and nudged it open. Harry stepped backwards, letting Fred wave his wand and move the crates in first, not really wanting to be knocked back down the rickety stairs by a crate full of guns. He waited for Fred to step in, before following more warily.
"What the fuck?" Harry barked out a sharp laugh as he stepped inside the room. It wasn't a bedroom at all, it was a bloody office. There was a small meeting table on one side of the room, an empty bookcase on the other, two faded chairs with the stuffing poking out of them in front of an unlit fireplace directly across from the door. There was another door, next to the bookcase, that Harry presumed led to a loo.
"What? You thought I got us a romantic room at the Hogs Head to seduce you?" Fred laughed. Harry heard a muted thud and suddenly, with a tap of Fred's wand, three large brown wooden crates popped in to existence on the meeting table.
"Kind of," Harry murmured, adequately distracted by the crates. "Can I see?"
"Hmm. No."
"What?" Harry snapped his head up from the crates and squinted at Fred. "They're mine," he said. "Why can't I see them?"
"They're ours," Fred stressed with a grin that made Harry think he was just being teased. "And I'm sorry, love, the crates don't open without a sacrifice."
"A sacrifice," Harry repeated, a grin now trying to work its way to his lips, "what kind of sacrifice, Sweetheart?"
Fred sat in one of the worn chairs next to the table and sighed with such genuine sounding distress that Harry almost fell for it. "It's a weird one," Fred said. He put his chin in his hand and propped his elbow on the table, making the most pathetic puppy eyes at Harry. "The crates won't open unless I get a kiss from my one true love, but, unfortunately, Verity is at work today..."
Harry's features twisted in irritation at the mention of Fred's assistant and he impulsively launched himself at Fred, working his way on to his lap, just as he had wanted to do downstairs.
"You keep fucking around and I'm going to end up killing her," Harry whispered on Fred's neck, smirking in satisfaction as he watched goosebumps erupt beneath his breath. Harry chewed his lip for a moment, debating with himself, before dipping his head and kissing slowly on Fred's neck.
"But you're so cute when you're jealous," Fred said, somehow grinning through just his words. "And you're, aah, you're bloody perfect when you do that."
Harry smiled to himself when he pulled his mouth away from Fred's neck and saw the red mark that would be dark by the time Fred made it to work in the morning.
"Don't vanish that," Harry said sternly.
He knew he was a bit possessive and very jealous. He just didn't care right then because Verity was gorgeous and Fred was his.
Fred put his hands on Harry's face and smiled adoringly at him. "Harry, I am so bloody gay that I've kissed one girl my entire life, and was traumatized by the experience. I just like to tease you about Verity."
"Who'd you kiss?" Harry asked curiously.
"Alicia Spinnet."
"Lee's girlfriend?"
"Before they were dating," Fred laughed. He gently pulled Harry's face to his and kissed him. "You're the only one I want to kiss now."
Harry got a bit caught up in snogging Fred. As much as he felt smothered earlier, he found himself desperate to feel Fred closer, have him hold Harry tighter, kiss him harder.
"You're killing me," Fred said, pushing Harry back after a while. His lips were red, swollen, and his blue eyes were hazy looking. "Let's look in the crates before I apparate you back to your place," he grinned.
"Let's do that," Harry said quickly. "Let's just go home."
"Love." Fred traced Harry's scar with his thumb, frowning a bit before Harry closed his eyes and leaned in to the contact. "You don't want that," he said softly. "You're just stressed and feeling down, I think. One more week of classes then we have two weeks off. I'm going to close the shop on the 23rd, and leave it closed until term starts back on the 5th. We can spend every day together, but I can't just steal you away today."
Harry clenched his jaw tightly to keep from begging. "It's cold," he said instead. "The castle, I mean. It's freezing."
"Well...." Fred gently plucked Harry off his lap and stood him up, moving to stand beside him immediately. "These might warm you up."
Harry's curiosity fought with his inner chill as he stepped up to the table and watched as Fred opened the first crate.
"Holy hell," he breathed, his curiosity winning immediately. Harry reached in the crate and pulled out the slick black hand gun, cradling it lovingly. "Have I told you you're brilliant and I love you?"
"Not recently," Fred smirked, leaning against the crate and watching Harry. "I do like hearing it though..."
Harry stroked the cool metal and his lips curled up in a true smile as he considered how much safer his people would be once they all learned how to aim decently.
"You're brilliant, I love you," Harry told him, his eyes bright with glee. "Let's go hide some guns in the castle, yeah?"
"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good," Harry intoned, his hand on the parchment. His eyes flicked over the map quickly, noting bitterly that Severus Snape and Albus Dumbledore were both, once more, absent from the school.
"Filch is out by Hagrid's hut," Harry told Fred, cataloging any possible hindrances to their procession. "McGonagall is in Sirius' office, with Sirius and Lupin. And... Flitwick is in the Hospital Wing with Benjamin Yarrito and Madame Pomfrey. I swear to god, if Yarrito got stabbed, I'm shooting whoever did it."
"They still haven't caught your secret admirer?" Fred asked.
Fred, and half of Harry's friends, decided that whoever stabbed Ginny and Finnigan likely did it to garner favor with Harry. The other half thought it seemed like someone was setting Harry up to get in trouble.
Theo still thought it was Crabbe and Goyle.
"It's second year all over again," Susan had grimaced when they discussed it.
"Except it isn't Ginny this time," Neville said thoughtfully. "I don't think she could actually obliviate herself."
"She definitely wouldn't do it if it meant missing a quidditch match anyway," Ron said decisively, putting an end to that line of thought.
Harry wasn't sure who attacked the two Gryffindors, but he didn't think it was someone who fancied him.
"I can actually alibi you this time, if so," Fred said, pulling Harry's thoughts back to their current plot. "Are we moving to the dungeons? Because look," he pointed at a cluster of first years moving quickly around in the corridor, playing some sort of game it seemed like, "We might get stopped."
"Can't put them in the dorm, I promised Theo," Harry said. He looked around the dark passageway they were in now, just beneath the statue of the humpbacked witch. "You think we could just leave them here?"
Fred swiped his hand along the wall, showing Harry the damp dirt that stuck to his hand. "I suppose we could put up some shields, but you lot coming down here to train might be a bit of a dead giveaway, love."
"Damn." Harry tilted his head back, tapping it light against the stone wall as he thought. "I really can't put them in the dorm, unless I kept it top secret..." Harry considered if Theo would forgive him if Harry did it anyway, and grimaced to think about lying to Theo about such a thing. Harry hated lying to his friends, about something so big anyway, but...
"Slytherin's Chamber!" Harry cried just as Fred blurted "The Room of Secrets!"
Harry and Fred blinked at each other in surprise.
"Nobody can get in Slytherin's Chamber, except me," Harry said.
"And Timmy," Fred argued. "Plus, isn't there a dead body rotting down there?"
"Yeah," Harry smiled, a bit wistfully at the memory. "Lockhart's probably starting to smell by now."
"The Room of Secrets is a smashing idea," Fred said, rolling his eyes at Harry's obvious nostalgia. "What if you aren't around and Suzie-Q or Ronnie needs one? They can't count on Mavis popping them down to the chamber."
Harry gnawed on his lip and tilted his head in concession. "Alright," he agreed. "Room of Secrets it is. Here," he tossed Fred his invisibility cloak, "I'm going to take the lead, you levitate the crates behind me, and stay behind them. Whistle if someone comes up behind you or something."
"You love this," Fred accused him before pecking Harry's cheek and throwing the cloak over himself.
"I really do," Harry admitted with a sheepish grin. This was really the most fun he'd had in ages, and it wasn't really surprising that it was Fred who brought it on. Fred had a knack for saving Harry from the waves that wanted to pull him under on occasion. He was like Harry's own personal life raft.
No, more than that.
Harry mused on a proper analogy as they quietly and carefully exited the hidden passageway and made their way to the sixth floor through the back staircases.
Fred wasn't a life raft, leaving Harry floating safely in the freezing and dark waves that he drowns in. Fred was like a switching spell or something. Harry could be partially submerged in the water, struggling to breathe, and Fred could just swap the black waves out for peaceful blue ones. Harry would be struggling to stay afloat, and then suddenly he was sitting on a sandy beach, his legs in peaceful blue water, and the sun shining on him.
The point was, Fred was magical.
"What should I ask for?" Harry whispered when they made it to the corridor with the troll ballerina painting on the wall.
"Somewhere to hide twenty five guns?" Fred suggested with a quiet laugh.
Harry rolled his eyes at the unnecessary sarcasm, but did just that. He kept his hands on the wall as Luna did when they used the room before, and concentrated on what he wanted as he walked back and forth.
I need a place to hide something. I need a room to hide something. I need to hide something, I want to keep it a secret.
After he passed by the wall the third time, a door silently popped in to appearance.
"Wicked!" Fred cheered when they entered the room and found it to be bigger that the Great Hall and filled wall to wall with various treasures. "I wonder what all's in here!"
"It's not wicked," Harry scowled. "Who all knows about this room?"
Fred walked over to a desk near them and snagged a book off the top of it. He flipped the cover open, sending up a small puff of dust. "Jodie Rogers' Journal, first date of entry was 1961, I think we're safe, darlin."
"Brill." Harry moved to where he heard the thud of the crates land and aimed a small bit of magic towards them, ordering it to reveal the crates. "I'm going to have everyone practice after classes on days I don't have quidditch, but here." Harry grabbed one of the guns and quickly made sure it was unloaded before throwing it to Fred. "Want one for George?"
"Yeah, if you wouldn't mind," Fred said, tucking the gun in his trouser waistband and easily catching the second one Harry tossed him and tucking it in as well. "Wanna explore a bit?"
Harry looked around the packed room and tossed Fred a cheeky grin over his shoulder.
"I've got a better idea," he said, tensing his muscles and preparing to run, "Catch me if you can."
Fred let out a startled laugh as Harry took off through the aisles, quickly assessing the best places to hide as he idly catalogued various trinkets he saw. There seemed to be a bit of everything hidden in there; all things that previous students at some point wanted hidden.
Loads of books, potions in dusty vials, large pieces of furniture, including a bed for some ungodly reason.
Who needed to hide a bed?
After putting quite a bit of distance between them, Harry ducked behind a large brown wardrobe, nearly knocking over a table with an ugly bust of a warlock with a silver tiara on its head, when he heard Fred approaching. Harry peeked out one side of the wardrobe, looking to see if it was safe to take off, when he was suddenly lifted off his feet by a warm pair of arms.
"How'd you find me?" Harry asked indignantly, wrapping his legs around Fred's waist and glaring playfully at him.
Fred smiled earnestly up at him, his face radiating with honest affection. "I can always find you, darlin."
That night, when Harry was once more in his bed and Susan started the timer on his five minutes, Harry thought about Fred.
"I love him," Harry said quietly, somber with the realization that he pinned quite a bit of his happiness on one single, very killable, person. "I'm mad about him, Sue. I'm cold when he's gone."
***
The final week of classes, Harry was distracted and irritated once more.
Harry cast flawlessly in defense as he slumped in his desk. He brewed without any of the flair or enthusiasm that he once had. He flatly agreed to attend Slughorn's Christmas party, unable to muster up any of the charm he tried to display in his class. He struggled to stay awake during McGonagall's lectures. And he sighed at Flitwick's compliments during his lessons.
The only thing that Harry enjoyed during that week, was taking his gang to the Room of Secrets after classes and teaching them to shoot at a further distance than they practiced over the summer.
The Room of Secrets was brilliant, Harry only had to have everyone hold on to the crates as he asked the room for a place to shoot and it obliged him immediately. He always felt a bit dizzy after it morphed itself around them, but it really was amazing magic.
Hermione claimed that Rowena Ravenclaw must have designed the room.
"Like this," Harry said one afternoon. He eyed Trent's stance and hesitated, "Can I move you, a bit?" he asked.
Trent gave him a peculiar look, and shrugged. "Yeah, I don't care."
Harry carefully grabbed Trent's hips and turned him just so. "Inhale as you aim, squeeze the trigger on your exhale."
Harry stepped back and watched as Trent followed his instructions to the letter, and saw the green spark over thirty feet away when Trent's bullet hit the target.
"I did it!" Trent crowed triumphantly.
That had been a good day.
Everything else had just been events to be endured though.
"Life is dull," Harry proclaimed during dinner on Thursday, his classes finally over for two and half weeks. He poked moodily at his vegetables, unable to even bring them to his mouth. Chewing seemed to take a lot of energy.
Susan nodded at his side, her spoon swirling pointlessly in her bowl of soup. "I picked a guardian today," she told the others quietly, a hush falling over them as she brought up the topic they all wanted to know about without anyone wanting to prod. "There were a few people who offered, and-" she glanced up at Harry, her eyes tight with some sort of worry, "I didn't choose Snape."
"Who did you choose?" Luna asked, reaching out and trailing her fingers reassuringly over Susan's arm.
"Tonks," Susan said, a small grin at the corner of her mouth. "She asked for me right after it- it happened. She told me today that we have a bond now, since she cut my arm off and feels a bit responsible for me."
"That's..." Draco's brows shot up his forehead, "That sounds like just the sort of mad thing that Tonks would say."
"So you're going to live with her this summer?" Harry demanded, his feelings hurt by Susan's rejection. "I thought..?"
He thought they had plans.
"Of course not," Susan sniffed, looking a bit like her old self for a moment. "I'm staying with her over Christmas break, we're... we're clearing out the cottage... and then I'll be staying with you this summer."
"Tonks too?" Neville asked, his blue eyes quickly flicking towards Snape at the head table.
"She didn't say that, specifically, but I think so," Susan grinned.
"They're such a cute couple," Hermione sighed. "They're true opposites, like Harry and Fred. It's so romantic."
"They aren't dating," Harry said, unsure how he and Fred were 'true opposites'. They were a bit different, personality wise, but they had loads in common. "Tonks wants to date, I think, but Snape's playing hard to get."
"Maybe Snape isn't interested?" Blaise suggested.
"He is," Harry said certainly. "He just doesn't want to admit it. He blushes when you talk about her, it's hilarious."
"Then maybe Tonks needs to get lucky," Ron laughed. "Just drink some Felix Felicis and show up at Snape's quarters."
The other boys laughed at Ron's innuendo and waggling brows, but Harry stared at him as an idea began to click in his mind.
He didn't bring it up in front of everyone though, he didn't mention it at all until him and Susan were in his bed that night, talking about nothing while they stared up at the ceiling.
"I had a brill idea," Harry whispered, carelessly taking the credit for Ron's idea. "Slughorn said he took Felix Felicis three times and had three perfect days..."
"And?" Susan rolled on her side and looked at Harry curiously.
Harry summoned the golden potion from his trunk, holding it up as if it held the answer to all his problems.
"Susan Elaina Bones, how would you like to get lucky?"
Susan's eyes seemed to grow brighter as she looked at the bottle. "Yes," she whispered, "Oh my God, Harry, let's do it."
"Tomorrow," Harry said. "We'll take it at breakfast and have a perfect last day before break, yeah?"
Susan squealed quietly and squeezed Harry in a tight hug. "A perfect day," she agreed. "I love it."
Harry loved it too. He hoped that Slughorn hadn't been full of shit, and that the potion would actually finally chase away the creeping cold he could feel inside him. Harry carefully put the vial in his nightstand drawer and pulled out two vials of the Dreamless Sleep that Snape made just for him.
"Here's to a perfect day tomorrow," Harry grinned, handing one of the vials to Susan.
"A perfect day," Susan agreed.
They clinked their bottles and threw them back. Harry quickly tossed his leg over Susan's, a bit of a guarantee he'll wake up if she gets up in the middle of the night, and both of them quickly fell in to a peaceful sleep before they woke up and had a perfect day.
What a perfect day would be, Harry had no idea. But he knew he wanted it badly.