Lily liked Remus, she really did.
Remus had always been her favorite of James' friends. In fact, she had befriended Remus long before she began dating James.
Remus was polite. He was caring. He was intelligent. He was fun to get high with.
And currently, he was about to be ripped to shreds by Sev and Lily conjured popcorn for the show.
As much as she liked Remus, she was hurt that he never seemed to feel the need to reach out to their son. She didn't even know how that Remus was the same Remus that walked four miles in Essex one time to find a random sweet that Lily had been craving during her pregnancy.
'Anything for my nephew,' he'd said when he brought it back.
Apparently he meant anything for Lily, because he didn't seem to care much about his nephew, did he?
"Severus you have some explaining to do!"
"Here we go," James laughed. He waved his hand and had a little ottoman appear that he immediately propped his long legs up on. He grinned at Lily and wiggled his brows. "Maybe Severus'll ask Remus where the hell he's been, eh?"
"Maybe," Lily agreed. She switched the Remus channel to Severus' so they could see what he thought of the matter while the Harry channel was kept on.
The Harry channel was heartbreaking at the moment. Harry was laying in his bed, buried beneath his blankets, with his eyes tightly closed and his arms wrapped around his knees.
In all the ways that Harry was much more mature than his peers, there were so many ways that her baby was stunted and it was terrible to witness.
James laughed and pulled Lily from her thoughts as he gestured to the telly. Remus told Severus that he had taught the third years boggarts that day and Severus said he was already aware since he was apparently present when Remus arrived with the Gryffindor and Ravenclaws.
"What you missed was your appearance as one of the students' Boggarts."
"Just one? Last year I managed to be three Boggarts."
Damn Potter is making me soft.
"Oh no," Lily grinned. "How terrible, Sev, your students aren't all terrified of you."
"Neville wasn't even scared of Severus, not really," James frowned. "He was scared that Severus wouldn't find Harry back when he'd been expelled and that he wouldn't have any friends with Harry gone."
"Oh." Lily frowned now as well. "You're right then, that shouldn't even count as Severus."
"Two, actually."
"Now that really shouldn't count." James conjured a quaffle and tossed it in the air a few times as he repeatedly caught it and glared at the telly. "Harry isn't scared of Severus."
"But Harry has you beat- he was six of his year mates' worst fear."
"Fuck. Was he really?"
"Well you were one of them too," Lily said sullenly to Remus as he began listing off the various (and hilarious) Harry-boggarts. James frowned at her and Lily threw her hands up. "What?"
"He didn't choose to be a werewolf," James said quietly. "I'm sure he felt bloody miserable when that kid's boggart appeared."
Lily stared incredulously at her husband. "Didn't you take a bat to his face?" She glanced at the quaffle that James was still toying with and raised a brow. "And now you're defending him?"
"I'm not defending the things he chose to do," James said. "I'm saying that there's a lot of reasons to be pissed at Remus without Moony being a part of the problem."
"Fair enough," Lily held her hands up innocently. "I was just saying."
James leaned over to kiss her cheek quickly and grinned, ever the carefree spirit she fell in love with. "I know."
Lily turned back to the telly in time to see Severus thinking how his boggart and Susan's would be similar until Sirius was captured.
"It's so weird, getting all the views from here, and not being able to intercede any," Lily scowled. "Everyone's so scared of Sirius and he's just chilling around Hogwarts, posing as a harmless pup."
"I think that parts a bit funny," James grinned. "Imagine someone actually being scared of Sirius, eh?"
"While rational adults may find Potter's behavior to be understandable, it is reasonable that young children may occasionally fear it."
"What he means is…" James cleared his throat and lifted his chin, looking at Lily down his nose. "'It's completely normal for one student to be so many of his classmates' fears, please don't inform Albus.'"
Lily laughed and nodded in agreement. "He's— oh! Here it comes!"
"What I don't find understandable is why Harry's Boggart was you."
Me?
Potter trusts me, why would he fear me?
"Explain."
"Ignore him, Sev," Lily scoffed. "Remus is apparently willfully blind and deaf."
"And stupid," James muttered as he tossed the quaffle in the air again.
"Harry refused to do the lesson today. He told Susan that he thought his classmates would use his worst fear against him. So I gave him detention for refusing to participate in class."
He's not doing himself any favors in cozying up to Potter, is he?
"He sure isn't," James said as he threw the quaffle at the telly.
Honestly. It was lucky that the telly was indestructible, otherwise they would have to resort to buying a new one twice a day at the rate that James' mates were pissing him off.
"I told him he had to face the Boggart or he'd have detention every night until he did."
I bet Potter didn't even care.
"Harry didn't seem to care at all. So I told him that I wouldn't tell anyone what his Boggart was and he finally agreed to face it."
"And?"
"And here he is, telling you what Harry's boggart is," James mumbled.
Lily tossed a few pieces of popcorn in her mouth. "And here he is, about to make a really wrong assumption based entirely on an old bias."
They were both right.
"And you stepped out of the wardrobe, making fun of him."
"Making fun of him? Potter is afraid of me taunting him?"
That makes… that makes no sense…
"Because he's bloody stupid," James snarled as the quaffle in his hand finally found its way to the telly screen. "Remus, you moron. Harry isn't afraid of Severus bullying him. Good lord, man."
Is this because I called the brat 'insane' over the summer? I thought I apologized for that…
"They were... odd... taunts… But what I'd like to know- is why Harry's worst fear is you calling him a freak and a monster?"
Aah. That makes more sense.
"See?" James wailed with an exasperated look. "Severus figured it out in a damn split second and Remus still thinks it's because Severus is mean to him."
Lily ate a handful of popcorn to keep from smirking at the fact that James Fleamont Potter was defending Severus over Remus.
"Specifically, if your addled brain can recall, what did the Boggart say to Potter?"
Lily and James both snickered at Severus' dry wit. It was much more amusing when it was aimed at someone who deserved it than it was when it had been aimed at Harry in the beginning.
Remus looked pissed, but he still told Severus the things the boggart said. And it was just as heartbreaking hearing it a second time as it had been the first time.
"'You're not special. You're disgusting. A monster. A nobody. You're worth less than the trash you slept on. Nobody cares about you. You're worthless. You don't matter. You're a monster. A freak.' I believe at one point you also referred to him as a 'worthless whoring orphan,' or perhaps a 'worthless whore of an orphan', it was difficult to distinguish given the number of vulgarities you were saying."
For fucks sake, Potter, couldn't you be scared of the dark or something equally ridiculous? That's incredibly revealing.
"Apparently not to brain-addled morons," Lily quipped.
"Interesting."
"It is not interesting! Why is James' son terrified of you calling him a freak, Severus?"
"His name is Harry," Lily snarled. "Jesus, Remus is daft, isn't he?"
"A bit, yeah," James agreed absently. He was leaning forward with his eyes now glued to the Harry telly. "I think he's having a nightmare, Lils."
Lily looked over the image flickering on the telly- no longer was it Harry laying in his bed beneath a thick pile of blankets, now it was flickering images on a random rotation.
"You're a freak," Susan hissed.
"Everyone wishes you were never born," Luna spat.
"You're worthless," Severus sneered.
"Oh baby." Lily scooted off the sofa and crouched down beside the telly where her son was having a horrid dream. She watched Harry as he filtered through his nightmare while she listened to Severus tear into Remus.
"Firstly, I believe his name is Harry, not 'James' son'. Surely with your enhanced eyesight you can see that Potter is his own person."
"Got 'em," James said softly, his eyes flicking between the two channels.
"Secondly, I believe what you are actually asking me, Lupin, is 'do I make a habit of tormenting my ward with verbal abuse?' And though it is absolutely none of your business, I will answer anyway to put the matter at rest- I do not. I have never once said those words to Harry and I never will. Satisfied?"
"Probably not." Lily rolled her eyes at Remus' stubborn look in the set of his jaw. Harry had woken and was not just laying on his side, staring off in the darkness, so Lily tentatively turned back into the Severus channel.
She couldn't help her baby, but it made her feel better to at least watch Severus tear Remus apart for causing Harry to have such a bad night.
"No! Why would Harry even be thinking those things in the first place? If you didn't say it, then who did?!"
"Perhaps you should ask Potter, as this is his incredibly personal and private experience you are sharing with me, despite your assurances to keep it private."
"That's a good point," Lily hummed thoughtfully. "Harry's going to be really upset if he finds out Remus told Sev."
James snorted. "Sev's absolutely going to tell Harry," he said with confidence. "He doesn't give a damn if Harry likes Remus or not, does he?"
Lily suspected that James was also beginning to not care either. Which was a shame, because Remus losing James' friendship was sad- for Remus. James was a loyal and devoted friend. He deserved better than how they all repaid him.
"I tried talking to him, but he's terrified of me!" Remus cried.
Sev started thinking about why Harry would be scared of Remus, and his first thought was because of Remus being a werewolf. Which was ridiculous because Harry didn't seem scared of anything properly scary. But Sev was terrified of werewolves (rightfully so) so he probably was deflecting a little bit.
Then Remus explained to Sev what happened after the boggart and it all clicked in Sev's head.
Potter once again showcasing his trust in adult males alone with him.
"Potter, you menace," he sighed.
"I think you were right," Lily told James with a quiver in her tone. "Sev should see if McGonagall or Sprout can oversee Harry's detentions. It's not fair for him to have all this additional worry and anxiety when it's male teachers alone with him."
"I don't know why he hasn't done that yet," James mused while Sev internally debated on the pros and cons of sharing a little about Harry's past with Remus. "I'm going to hopefully say that he just hasn't thought of it."
"Well it's not like he doesn't have a million other things to worry about," Lily said logically. "We do get a bit of hindsight from our views."
Lily smiled a little to see Sev acknowledging his own petty fears that Harry would start to like Remus more than him and then still chose to try and do right by Harry.
As if Harry's loyalty to Sev could be broken at this point.
"If you repeat this to another soul you may find that my hand has slipped and overdosed your monthly potion with Wolfsbane. Will it be next months dose? Perhaps. It could be the one after that, or the next one. You will have no idea until you take your potion one evening and find yourself struggling to breath. You will eventually suffocate from the lack of activity in your lungs and die, pathetically alone, in your office. Is that clear?"
James and Lily both shivered a little and James laughed breathlessly.
"He's a bit scary, isn't he?" James said. "Phew."
Lily laughed when Remus mentioned that Amelia must have been mad to make Sev Harry's guardian. As if Amelia could doubt Sev's loyalty to Harry when his bloody patronus announced it clear as day.
If Amelia thought Lupin was a threat to Potter's mental health, she would purchase the wolfsbane herself. Clearly the friends of Lily Evans were more dedicated than the ones of James Potter.
James quit smiling at that thought of Sev's. "This isn't much of a fun date," he told Lily quietly while Remus agreed. "In fact, to be honest, I'm having a pretty shit time."
Lily wrapped him up in a consoling hug. "When they all go to sleep, how about we…" She whispered a filthy suggestion in James' ear that had him blushing and rustling his hair nervously.
"Yeah," he breathed, "awesome."
He was so easy to please sometimes.
"Potter thinks of you as a predator."
Lily and James both turned back to the telly quickly at Sev's very bluntly spoken statement.
"And whose fault is that? You told him what I am!"
"Ugh!" Lily shuddered. "Not that kind of predator, you idiot."
"Not that kind of predator, you unforgivable imbecile."
James scoffed and grinned at Lily. "Sometimes I forget you guys were friends for years until moments like this."
Lily smiled a little sadly. "Sometimes I forget too," she admitted. "It was easier after fifth year to think of 'Sev' and 'Snape' as two separate people."
James nodded and propped his chin in his hands as he watched his friend on the telly. "Makes sense to me," he said sadly.
Lily knew it was unfair for James. Her friend, that they thought was a hateful and dark bastard, wound up being the one to save their son and got to tell Harry all sorts of stories about her. James' friends, who they had loved and cared for so much, wound up being the ones purposefully ignorant of their son's life and hadn't bothered to even try to connect to Harry really.
"Maybe Sirius will be better," Lily said quietly.
"Maybe."
At least Remus had the grace to look uncomfortable and ashamed as Sev confirmed, in a round about way, that Harry had been homeless as the Daily Prophet reported.
"I invite you to use your damned imagination as to the kind of disgusting vermin that a small, vulnerable, and desperate child sleeping in alleyways would have been exposed to."
Nobody took any pleasure in the way that Remus suddenly turned a mixture of grey and green as he pieced together Sev's meaning.
It was vindicating, Sev informing Remus of the horrors Harry faced because of every other adult neglecting him for ten years, but it was sobering and sad and made Lily want to sob.
Remus looked like he was ready to cry too though, and it snapped the remainder of Sev's patience with him.
"Getting Potter alone and then putting your hands on him is certainly no way to reconnect with your dead best friends son."
How dare the man appear so emotional over Potter's past when he was one of the many who could have stepped forward and fought for Potter after Lily's death? And if not fought for placement of him, at least visited the child and checked on his welfare? Mailed him a birthday card even? What good are his tears of regret now? The damage has been done.
"TELL HIM THAT!" James yelled as he jumped to his feet and had a beaters bat in his hand before he even reached the telly to swing it. "FUCK! How come bloody Severus Snape gets that Remus royally cocked everything up and Remus doesn't?" James struck the telly while Sev kicked Remus out of his office and Harry silently cried on the other telly. "I—" whack, "hate—" whack, "this!" whack.
Lily watched patiently as James took his feelings of helplessness and anger out on the telly until he finally collapsed on the floor in a panting and wild-eyed mess.
"Feel better?"
James nodded and the bat disappeared while Sev went to bed and their son continued to stare out the window all by himself.
"A bit."
"Good." Lily grabbed the remotes and flipped both of the tellies off and smiled slowly at her wonderful husband who was having the most horrid time. "Because I made you a promise to make tonight more fun…"
Lily loved to see James blush. It was too endearing to her to know that for all James' outward show of arrogance and confidence, he was still bashful in so many ways.
Lily slowly unbuttoned her blouse while she held eye contact with James. "In nine hours, we will turn the tellies back on," she said lowly in a seductive way. "Which means that we have nine hours where we don't need to sleep, or eat, or do anything except each other. Got it?"
James nodded dutifully.
Never let it be said that Lily didn't know how to put a smile back on her husband's face. It wouldn't stay there for long, not at the rate that Remus was pissing him off and Harry was breaking his heart, but since Lily couldn't do anything about that, she worked on what she could do…
Which was James, mostly.
***
James ate a bowl of cereal the next morning while he watched Padfoot prowl around the edge of the forest while he thought about how to catch Wormtail and if Harry was doing okay.
Harry was not doing okay.
In the very back of his mind, the very, very, back there was a whisper that asked him if his son wouldn't have been happier if he could just be with James and Lily.
The afterlife was paradise- the only pain that existed there existed on the telly.
The telly that James hadn't turned on yet because he didn't know if he was ready to watch another day of Harry's crap life. Sure, there were times where Harry was having fun- laughing and smiling and being a mischievous little teenager. The majority of the time though? It was just Harry being miserable. Harry being misunderstood. Harry in danger. Harry depressed. Harry manic. Harry with one adult on his side.
James got paradise and left his son behind in hell.
A thought that wiped any chance of a smile off his face and had him clicking the other telly on to the Harry Channel.
Harry was laying on his bed, his little body buried under a pile of blankets as if he couldn't get warm.
"I'm sick," he told Ron flatly, his voice hoarse and drained from the crying he'd done all night. "Go away. I'll be fine."
Sirius used to say that.
'Go away, James. Leave me the hell alone. I don't feel good.'
It wasn't that James had never experienced a bout of intense sadness, it was just that he'd never suffered through a depressive episode. James would get sad and reach out to his mum, to his friends, even to Minnie a time or two. Sirius would get depressed and he would withdraw, push everyone away, burrow down inside himself.
James wished Harry could be a little more like himself in this instance. He also wished that Ron Weasley was a little older, a little wiser, and would recognize the lack of a physical illness in Harry in that moment. But that was asking quite a bit from a couple of thirteen year olds.
If James could write a letter to his son, he'd tell him to just hold on.
Hold on and wait for the good part of your life to start.
Hold on and wait for this depression to end.
Just hold on.
"What's Harry doing today?" Lily asked when she joined him. She kissed him and took a seat beside him with her feet tucked beneath herself. She conjured an English breakfast and began tucking in.
James didn't even have the enthusiasm to tease her about her hunger this morning.
Instead, James gestured to the Harry Channel (he was monitoring Sirius' lack of progress on the other telly). "He told his friends he was sick, but he's depressed, and it's sad."
Lily put the muffin she'd been eating down and frowned at Harry's lack of internal thoughts as he stared out the window. "That is sad," she said softly. "Poor baby."
"Yep." James shook his head. "I hope someone comes to check on him, or something. It's not good to just stay in bed all day."
Lily temporarily took James' usual role in an effort to make him smile at least a little. "Really? Usually you love staying in bed all day."
James gave her a weak and forced grin for her effort and then turned back to the telly. "Not like that," he said.
"Yeah." Lily nodded. "Not like that."
The two of them sat quietly while they watched Harry for a bit, they wouldn't have moved at all if not for a brisk knock on their door while Lily was still finishing her breakfast.
"Come in," James called. He vanished his cereal and pushed his glasses up on his nose. He turned and saw Elaine hesitantly making her way inside. "'Lo, Elaine," he said. "What's new?"
Elaine gave them a sweet smile before settling on the floor over by Lily's side of the sofa. "Severus is going to check on Harry, and I thought I'd tell you guys that my daughter is a very odd girl."
James perked up at that and Lily's interest was piqued at the quip about Susan.
"Oh?" Lily grinned. "What's so odd about Susan?"
Elaine sighed and looked up at Lily with confusion shining on her young face. "Firstly, she wants to be Harry's Vice Minister when he's Minister of Magic."
An awesome goal, in James' opinion.
"Secondly, she is obsessed with Severus. Even when she's furious with him, she's infatuated. Is that normal?"
James didn't listen to Lily's explanation as Severus appeared in Harry's dorm and listened to Harry's lie about being sick. He smiled a little though when Severus refused to leave Harry's side.
"Shall I summon the uninspired drivel that my students call homework and grade them here today or would you prefer we go poison Lupin together?"
It… it was probably perfectly normal to be a little infatuated with Severus Snape.
Right?
Right.
James could see why Susan (the best of Harry's friends, in his opinion) had a little crush on Severus. Severus was a nasty little git of a kid, always had his nose in places it didn't belong. But all Susan saw, and what they got to see now, was Severus taking the time, energy, patience, and putting his impressive knowledge base towards caring for this one little waif of a kid.
Severus had been a dick when James knew him, but he was slowly becoming one of James' favorite people now.
And… and he wasn't even as ugly now as he used to be.
He looked rather graceful as he sat beside Harry's bed and graded essays. And if he had a big nose, so what? He also had a sharp wit that more often than not made James chuckle.
He did complain a lot about Gryffindors, which was offensive, but James imagined that maybe he and Severus would be friends one day anyway.
His private musings on Severus, and the girls' conversation about childhood crushes, were interrupted by Harry's quietly spoken question.
"D'you have a Boggart?"
"Oh, good." Lily sighed and her shoulders relaxed. "They're going to talk about it."
"What was Harry's boggart?" Elaine asked curiously. "Susan's was quite sad. She's very attached to Harry."
Severus told Harry that he had asked Albus to remove the boggarts from the curriculum for years while Lily haltingly downplayed Harry's boggart to Elaine.
"Lupin told you mine," Harry guessed accurately, his thoughts hinting at revenge for Remus.
"He did," Severus told him. His eyes betrayed his hope that Harry got revenge on Remus.
Hell, even James hoped that Harry got some revenge.
"Susan's tormenting Remus now," Elaine told them. "She's rallying their friends to 'prank' Remus, except it's more like vandalism really."
"Good," James snarled.
"Would you like to discuss it? I could inform you in as many as seven different languages how I would never, and have never, said or thought any of those things about you."
"He's so soft for Harry," Elaine sighed a little wistfully.
"He really is," James agreed, definitely wistfully.
He didn't fancy Severus, obviously, but he supposed you couldn't see a bloke take care of your kid and not appreciate him at least a bit.
His appreciation, and his shame, grew when Severus so bluntly told Harry his boggart.
James spent seven years fighting with a kid whose biggest fear in the world was his own father. He hadn't known that, but he didn't know if it would have impacted his actions at the time. He hoped it would, but just like a young Severus was a git, a young James was a dick.
And now Severus thought his boggart would be Harry dead?
Well… James owed him a hell of a lot more than an apology and a pint one day.
"I just didn't think I'd have a boggart 'cause I'm not scared to die, ya know? So I didn't expect it."
"Don't fear death, but don't go looking for it," James whispered to his son. "You'll get through this, son, you really will."
"He will," Lily said confidently. She grabbed James' hand and squeezed it. "He's got good people on his side."
If Harry didn't have anything else going for him, Lily was right, he did have a lot of good people on his side.
It was weird, the way Severus said something so close to the sentiment that James himself would have shared.
"People think death is easy, and perhaps it is. But it is also the end, Harry. The end of laughing with your friends, the end of flying through the skies, the end of miniature treacle tarts, and the end of a possibility of a future so bright you cannot even imagine. Death may not be frightening enough to be your boggart, but it is final. There is no second chance."
'Think about it, Sirius, if you die then there's no more flying, no more pranks, no more laughter. It's just death. Everything you love about life would be gone forever.'
James had been wrong then, and Severus was wrong now, but it was still eerie.
But then Severus said something so insane, so unexpected, that James lost his train of thought about the similarities of two Slytherins having a conversation similar to one between two Gryffindors eighteen years apart and in a different dorm.
"I happen to be incredibly impressed by your strength. I am... incredibly proud of you. I am proud of you Harry."
"Awwwww!" All three ghosts cooed at Severus' admission.
"And I'm so proud of you, Sev!" Lily cried.
James was as well.
Especially because Severus praised Harry for his strong mental fortitude and then offered to teach him the patronus spell. He tried to get Harry to go see a Mind Healer and Harry flat out refused, but he didn't get pissed over it this time so James saw it as progress. And it was definitely progress when Severus was able to trick Harry into agreeing to go eat dinner that night and Harry got himself out of bed.
"Well, I'm off," James told the girls. He got to his feet and kissed Lily's forehead before changing his clothes into quidditch robes. "Places to be, people to see. Let me know what Harry wants with Theo, will you, Lils?"
Lily eyed his quidditch robes and snorted before turning back to the telly. "The first time our son has decided that he cares about someone's feelings and you're going flying?"
"Technically, Harry said that he thinks Lupin is an arse and he wants Theo to help him kill him," Elaine said softly. "Harry caring for Theo's feelings remains to be seen."
Either scenario was fine by James. He just couldn't stick around to see what happened as he suddenly had an important conversation to have with someone.
"Wish I could stay, but I made plans today," James lied. "Harry seems like he feels better, Sev is a genius, and I'd like to beat the twins today."
Lily rolled her eyes and Elaine gave him a cheery wave. James even conjured up a broom to carry as he walked out the door, guilt twisting his insides for lying to Lily about where he was going the whole time.
His guilt twisted into panic as he knocked on Regulus' cottage door and burst inside without being greeted.
"Reg!" James cried. He jumped over the sofa and threw himself across it, placing his head in Regulus' lap. He stared up woefully at him and voiced his newest concern. "Am I gay?"
Regulus' laughter was not appreciated; the discussion the two of them had about the spectrum of sexuality was.
***
While James was suffering from gay panic at Regulus' place, Lily and Elaine were watching curiously as Harry went off in search of Theo on the telly.
"Oh, my," Elaine gasped when Harry trailed down the corridor with Remus' office. "That looks like Susan's handwriting…"
Lily read the multitude of curse words painted all over Remus' corridor, extremely rude ones directly on his classroom and office doors, and laughed. "It is Susan's handwriting," she said, she'd seen it enough times in notes written to Harry in class to recognize it. "Brilliant girl."
Elaine gave Lily a curious look while Harry inspected the toilet paper spread all across Remus' rooms (Hermione's idea, Lily was certain. Wizard kids didn't know about toilet papering- which is why Lily and Dorcas had so much fun one summer toilet papering the boys' homes).
"Do you…" Elaine trailed off and tried to find a way to tactfully word her question. "Do you not worry about Harry's behavior?"
"Not especially," Lily said truthfully. "Here's the thing; one, there's not a damn thing I can do about it anyway. And two, Harry's going to rule the world one day, either as Minister or the next Dark Lord, and even if I think some of his ideals are skewed, he's thirteen, he's got time to change."
Not that she thought he would. But at a minimum, Hermione Granger would never allow Harry to slaughter muggles and Lily privately thought that a world ruled by her son would be rather amusing.
"Don't be upset, please, but… Harry's got excuses for why he's a little rough," Elaine said slowly. "Susan doesn't. Edgar's sister made sure that Susan had a wonderful childhood. She never had a lack of love or affection. So why is she behaving this way?"
Lily put her arms over Elaine's shoulders and hugged her from her seat behind her while she lied through her teeth. "It's probably just a phase. I'm sure she's just having an early bout of teenage rebellion. And see?" Lily nodded her head toward the telly while Harry was worrying over if his friends had all been effected badly by the boggart. "If Harry's softening up, there's no way Susan won't."
Truthfully, Lily was pretty sure that Susan just had a loyal soul and a heart full of mischief.
They watched curiously as Harry extracted Theo from his group of friends with quick plans made for a 'gang only' dinner in the dorms that night.
"I wonder what he's up to," Lily mused as Harry's thoughts gave nothing away.
"Something wild, no doubt," Elaine murmured as Harry led Theo to Slytherin's Chamber and opened it up for the two of them.
Probably, yeah.
Lily laughed a little when Harry's eyes flickered over the spot where Gilderoy was buried at. Harry and Sev had taken the basilisk corpse out over the summer, tearing it apart for potion ingredients, but Harry refused to tell Sev where Lockhart was buried at.
'His body will lie in the chamber forever,' Harry had quipped with a mean little glint in his eyes.
Lily thought it was a fitting ending for the man who planned on killing her baby.
Elaine and Lily both laughed when Harry tried to be 'considerate and caring' toward Theo and terrified that poor boy half to death.
"Did you bring me down here to kill me?!"
"What? No! Of course not. Why would you think that??"
"You're acting weird! And you brought me to an actually bloody chamber and now you're asking me weird questions and 'trying to make me comfortable'!"
I can't be subtle and sweet, not like Snape… but I can make a deal…
"He thinks that Sev is sweet?" Lily laughed. "I don't know if that's sad or hysterical."
"Bit of both," Elaine said thoughtfully. She watched the boys enact a vow to never reveal what they discuss and both of the girls' curiosity was sky high.
Lily's curiosity was sated and her love for her son was sky-high as Harry began his 'game'.
"Why's your boggart your dad?"
Her baby wasn't subtle, but he was loyal.
"He wants to help him," Lily breathed, a smile breaking her face right in half. "That's my boy."
Theo was uncomfortable and tried to evade the answer and Lily watched as Harry quickly went a slightly more subtle route.
"What if you go first then? You can ask me anything."
"Did you kill Lockhart?"
"Yep."
"He's so proud," Lily laughed, not paying attention to the fact that Elaine didn't think it was much to be proud of. "Silly boy."
The two boys continued their game and two girls watched with unabashed curiosity.
"Who do you live with?"
"My father. How'd you kill Lockhart?"
"Put my sword right through his fuckin neck, didn't I? Where's your mum?"
"Do you know Theo's mother?" Elaine asked Lily.
Lily shook her head. "No, I think she was older than us by quite a bit. Christina, maybe?"
Elaine nodded and they resumed their viewing as two boys with traumatic pasts grew to trust each other in Slytherin's Chamber.
"Where were you when you got expelled before you went to Snapes? You told Hermione 'here and there' but that's not a real answer."
"London. Sleepin' in alleys, wasn't I? How exactly do you think your mum died?"
Lily's eyes stung as she watched and listened and read Harry's thoughts. Her baby… her baby was just so soft and little. He had a past that was filled with horrors and shoulders that carried the weight of the world.
And in that moment, all Harry cared for was protecting Theo.
"I think my father killed her with poison. What was the worst day of your life?"
"He's trying to get Harry to end the game," Lily murmured in absent agreement as Harry thought that precise thing. "Don't do it, baby, help him."
No child should have a parent that terrified them so badly that they appear as their boggart. Even if Lily's had been Tuney, it hadn't been that she was scared of her sister, more scared that her magic would make her the outcast of her family.
As it had done to Harry.
"Day I was expelled," Harry told Theo, spitting the words like poison in his mouth.
"Why?"
"My turn, innit? Why's your dad your boggart?"
"I assume it's because the boggart thinks that's what would scare me the most."
"Evasive," Elaine said with a very soft laugh. "It's not going to work on Harry."
"Hell no it isn't," Lily agreed with a grin. "My baby's too smart to fall for clever word games."
"Why was the day you were expelled the worst day of your life?"
Do it. Tell him. Trust him.
Lily encouraged her son silently as she propped her chin on top of Elaine's thick red hair and stared down the telly with a single-minded determination.
Nothing would make her happier than seeing proof that Harry could trust people to an extent.
Sure, he trusted Sev, and yes they had a vow in place now, but Harry needed to know that Theo wouldn't mock him or stop being his friend if he shared some of his past.
"My occlumency shields fell, I-I couldn't handle it. I didn't have anywhere to g-go. I didn't wanna be back on the streets, alone. So… I wanted to be f-free. And then I woke up, healed, and was still in the fuckin' alley so I put up new shields. But then my magic quit listening to me. I couldn't do magic at all. And-and I wasn't special anymore."
He did it.
"He did it," the girls same simultaneously. Elaine sounded shocked, Lily was ecstatic.
He was so honest and genuine too. He didn't skim on details, and he even showed Theo the scars.
Then he quickly changed the topic.
"Why is your dad the thing that scares you the most?"
"He's mean."
"How's he mean? Cause—"
"My turn. You said when you got expelled you didn't want to go back to the streets. How old were you when your relatives actually kicked you out?"
"Week after I turned eight. Does your dad hurt you?"
It was Theo's turn then. Theo's turn to choose to trust Harry with such a painful secret.
Lily encouraged him as much as she did Harry in her head. If Theo told Harry, then Harry could find a way to get Sev involved, and Sev could get Theo removed from the situation. She just knew he would.
It was Theo's turn to be brave…
"I- I'm just- I'm- I'm not a good son. He wants someone more like- like you. Someone tough, and powerful, and brilliant. And I'm- I'm not good enough. So he gets mad. And- and then... then y-yeah. Yes."
This time, it was Elaine who burst into loud sobs.
"I'm so sad and so p-proud!" Elaine wailed while Lily stroked her hair affectionately. "It's so terrible, Lily!"
"I know," Lily agreed. "But Sev can help Theo now, right? And he won't ever have to be hurt again."
"One more question each?"
"The muggles that Dumbledore put you with- did they- I mean... you- you too, right?"
"Me too. D'you want me to kill your dad?"
Oh.
"I thought he'd involve Sev…" Lily said slowly. "But…" She considered Harry's offer. "I suppose that works as well."
Elaine twisted her head to stare at her with slack-jawed incredulity. "Harry can't kill Theo's father."
"Why not?"
"'Why…?'" Elaine shook her head, displacing Lily's chin on her head. "Lily! He'll get hurt! Or arrested!"
Lily hummed. "I don't think so. Harry's very clever."
"Why would you do that? I'm- I'm not in your g-gang like Ron or Blaise are. Why would you?"
"Because you're mine. You're my friend. And you don't have to live like that. I can fix it Theo. I swear. I can make it where he never hurts you again. Never puts his hands on you again."
"Never again?"
"Never."
Harry was very intense and passionate in a way that neither Lily nor James were. His swear of 'never' gave Lily goosebumps.
Theo looked as if he were on a precipice of his own consciousness. Lily could sense the desire in his eyes, but the reluctance in the lines around his mouth. His anxiety as he tapped his thumb on his leg gave him away as well.
Finally…
"Yes."
"They're going to be friends forever," Lily said confidently as Harry jumped straight into planning mode.
It was adorable how he immediately decided to move Theo into his house and insisted that Sev wouldn't mind because it was really Harry's house anyway.
"Why wouldn't Harry just tell Severus?" Elaine asked Lily. "He could let him handle it. Surely Harry knows that Severus would never stand by while a child was being abused."
Lily waved her hand airily while there was a knock on the door. "Harry doesn't trust adults," she explained as she got up to go answer it. "He trusts Sev, but not to handle something that he considers to be incredibly important."
Lily opened the door and couldn't even begin to process who the curvy woman with the long brown hair and big hazel eyes was before she was yanked right off her doorstep into a crushing hug.
Which was fine, because this woman was beautiful, and there were worst things to happen, but… it was a bit odd.
"Thank you," the woman whispered softly to Lily, her voice carrying a hint of an accent.
Lily hugged her back enthusiastically. "Of course," she murmured. "What for?"
The woman laughed quietly and released Lily. She took a step back and Lily got another chance to study her round face, her deep hazel eyes, and the sparse smattering of freckles across the bridge of her nose.
"My name is Christina," she said. "Theo's mother. Your Harry's mother, Lily Potter, right?"
Lily owed her son big time.
"Yes," Lily said. Her eyes roamed up and down Christina's body and she truly liked what she saw. "That's me."
"And your son is going to save my son," Christina said, a tremor to her tone. "I feel as if we're sisters of a sort now."
Ugh.
That wasn't quite the reaction Lily wanted.
"Of a sort, yes," Lily agreed. She held her arm out in an offer to come inside with her. "Would you care to come watch their little get together with me and Elaine, Susan's mother?"
Christina hesitated and Lily tried to make her smile sweet and unassuming.
"That sounds lovely," Christina finally said in her soft and accented tone. "Thank you."
"No, thank you," Lily said with a flutter of her lashes.
She also mentally thanked Harry.
She hoped that every time Harry plotted a murder it brought a beautiful woman to her doorstep.
James came back home with Regulus following behind him as Harry and his friends were rearranging their dorm for a sleepover.
"What'd I miss?" James asked. He glanced at Christina and raised a curious brow.
"Christina Nott, Theo's mother," Lily told him as James took a seat beside her. "Harry's going to kill Theo's father, Theo joined the gang, and they all discussed their boggarts at our son's prodding."
"So quite a bit then," Regulus said. He sat on the floor between Elaine and Christina and peeked up at Christina curiously. "How did you die?"
"Poison in a pain relieving potion," Christina said. She looked down her nose at Regulus, "And you?"
"Lake of inferi," Regulus quipped. "I'm quite a hero."
"You found a horcrux and didn't destroy it," James said, rudely.
"It's called noble intentions," Regulus drawled haughtily. "As I said, I'm a hero."
Lily personally thought that Susan Bones was a hero.
"I love you Harry."
"You- you do?"
"Of course I do, stupid."
"No ones ever said that to me before. I don't know what to say."
"You don't have to say anything."
Lily and James exchanged sad smiles.
"We'll tell him again one day," James whispered.
Lily nodded and laid her head on his shoulder. "We'll tell Susan too. I adore that child."
***
Harry was obviously still depressed that week. He drug himself around to his classes while he layered on jumpers and thought about how cold he was.
James wondered how much of the depression was caused by the dementors and how much was caused by Harry's own mental illness.
It was as if Harry's despondent mood influenced James though. He didn't feel much like flying or drinking with the lads or even visiting his parents in that week. He only went to the twins' place because Lily pushed him out of their cottage so she could have a 'girls day' with Marlene, Dorcas, and Elaine.
"You could pretend to like us," Gideon said when James was slumped on their sofa watching the telly. "Moody git, wonder where Harry gets it from, eh?"
"My grandmum," James said flatly. He watched as Harry and his friends arrived for defense and his mood lifted slightly to see that the swears Susan decorated the defense hall with were still shining through.
"I seem to be being pranked."
"Good thing you like pranks then, right sir?"
"Everyone likes pranks when they're young, but people do eventually grow up."
"Cheers," James rolled his eyes. "You don't play pranks anymore, but now you're an arse instead."
"It's like they've had a terribly dramatic breakup and we're all doomed to hear about it forever," Fabian told Gideon.
"It's exactly what's happened," James said as Harry began eviscerating Remus on the telly over his childhood antics against Severus. "Remus and I are over. We are never, ever, getting back together."
The twins exchanged exhausted looks and Gideon conjured a drink for James while Fabian placed a pyramid of quaffles beside him.
"And you wonder why Harry's so bloody dramatic," Gideon muttered.
James shrugged and sipped his drink. Harry probably got his dramatics from Grandmum Dorcas as well as his mental illness.
Damn Black's.
Speaking of which…
"Mind if I flip this for a mo'?" James asked the twins after summoning the remote.
"Go for it," Fabian waved his hand.
James flipped the telly to the Sirius Channel and watched as Sirius paced the floor of the Shrieking Shack on his own two feet and muttered to himself.
"If I can get the password, I can dip down there, kill the rat, then write to Harry, explain everything…"
"What an idiot," James sighed. "If he kills Peter then he's never going to clear his name and Harry will never trust him."
Sirius used to be brilliant. Sirius could have easily been top of their year if he applied himself. He was powerful and intelligent, charismatic and outgoing, and… and really quite a bit like Harry.
A depressing parallel considering their individual lives.
James flipped the telly back to Harry and then let out a startled yelp as a Red Cap was suddenly caught on fire.
"Harry did it," Fabian immediately laughed. He pointed at Harry's cool look of boredom while Remus looked shocked while he extinguished the fire.
"Why did you do that?"
"You said 'How would I stop it from attacking me?' and that's what I'd do."
"Cruelty to animals, sign one," Fabian nodded sagely.
"Sign one of what?" James asked him while Harry and Remus held a stare off on screen.
"Nothiiiiing," Gideon said in an airy manner that didn't suit him one bit.
James squinted at them suspiciously before brushing it off and turning back to the telly as Remus held Harry back after class.
"I think we got off on the wrong foot," he said. "I definitely didn't help matters on Friday, did I? I'm sorry about that, by the way."
"Are you?" James mocked Remus. "Are you sooo sorry? What for, Uncle Moony? For forcing him to see his boggart, for telling Severus about it, or for pretending Harry didn't exist for twelve bloody years?"
"Exactly like a bitter and dramatic breakup," Gideon whispered to his twin.
"About what? Specifically."
"I'm sorry for pushing you in to seeing your boggart. I thought it would be good for you to face it. And you do need to learn to the spell, but I didn't need to push you in to it."
"So you're not sorry for telling Snape after you promised to keep it to yourself? Brill, just checking."
James didn't even need to be there to hit Remus, Harry was doing just fine on his own with his sneers and his hateful tone.
James would wait and hit Remus when he appeared in the afterlife one day, he had time.
"I was just worried that Severus was treating you unkindly at home."
"So you thought going to him and telling him what my boggart was would somehow help if he was? Guess you were a Gryffindor, huh?"
"We are offended!" Gideon howled while Fabian threw a crisp at the telly. "Not all Gryffindors are as dumb as Remus!"
"Not all of us, no," James agreed. "You two though? Definitely."
Suddenly James was the one having crisps thrown at him. He listened half-heartedly as Harry tore Remus down while he began conjuring crisps to throw back at the twins. He actually felt his mood lifting a bit while they acted like idiot kids having a minor food fight. He might have even missed a shocking moment if it weren't for a sudden and familiar whine that had James calling for a cease fire.
"Sirius! And Harry!" James smiled when Harry approached Sirius out by the forest, apparently he stormed from the castle after his disagreement with Remus. "Wait!"
James flipped it from the Harry Channel to the Sirius, since Harry could speak and Sirius couldn't, then settled down on the sofa between the twins' two recliners to see Harry and Sirius interact.
Sirius was so happy and content when Harry had his little elf friend bring him a steak that it made James and the twins laugh.
Harry relaxed against a tree and let Sirius lay his giant doggy head in his lap.
"Most dogs don't like me. Hagrid says his dumb dog's a 'good judge of character' and it growls every time it sees me."
If I didn't love you, I'd probably be terrified. Pet me. Pet meeeeee.
Harry obliged Sirius, causing his heavy tag to thump on the ground in a pleased manner.
"Imagine Harry's face if he knew who's head he was scratching," Fabian chuckled with merry eyes.
"He's going to be pissed if he finds out that Sirius is that dog," Gideon said, sounding much too happy about the idea.
James agreed. Especially when Harry began venting to Sirius.
"I hate Lupin. I hate these dementors. I hate Sirius Black."
You should hate me. It's my fault James and Lily are gone. I'm sorry, Pup. I ruined your life. Remus, though? What did Remus do?
"Absolutely nothing," the three of them said. The twins said it with teasing smiles and James said it with a scowl.
Remus did nothing. That was the problem.
But also…
"You didn't force me to use Peter," James whispered to Sirius, wishing he could tell his brother himself. "It isn't your fault."
Harry and Sirius disagreed.
"I'm going to kill him, as soon as I find him. I coulda had a totally different life if it weren't for him, ya know? He ruined it."
You're right. I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry.
Sirius licked Harry's hand and stared up at him with his soulful and sorrow-filled dog eyes and Harry laughed and wiped the dog slobber off his hand.
James felt a bit of peace as his oldest, and best, friend sat at the edge of the forest with his head in Harry's lap. Harry scratched Sirius' ears while the two of them watched the sunset.
Then they were startled by Severus' appearance.
"Potter!"
Harry jumped, then relaxed as he recognized Severus. Sirius did not relax and James saw the hairs on his neck begin to stick up.
"Oh, Snape, what are you doing?"
"What are you doing, you foolish brat? It's almost dark out and you're on the edge of the lawn. Are you looking to lose a fight with a dementor?"
"Sorry, sir, I lost track of time."
"When is the last time you slept through the night?"
Sirius peered at Harry, much too curiously to truly pass for a thoughtless dog.
Why aren't you sleeping? Is it the dementors?
"What if Sirius turned himself in to Albus?" Gideon asked thoughtfully while he stroked his chin. "He could tell him what happened and Albus could secure a trial for him?"
"Nobody trusts Albus anymore," James scoffed. "Try and keep up, Gid. He didn't get Sirius a trial to start with, he dropped Harry off on Tuney's bloody doorstep, he expelled Harry and tried to talk Sev out of taking guardianship. Nobody's going to him for jack shit."
"You have such a way with words," Fabian sighed with a playful kiss blown at James.
James winked and finished off his second glass of scotch.
"You need to sleep and before you ask- the only thing I ask in return is you avoid getting so close to the edges of the grounds in the future. It would be a shame for a dementor to suck out your soul before you've finished your reign of terror."
Is he… is he teasing Harry? Does Snivellus like Harry? Does Harry like Snivellus?!
"Oi! Don't call him that!" James scowled at the telly. "Merlin, Padfoot, can't you see Harry likes him?"
"Oh no…" Gideon leaned forward after Harry asked Severus if the dog could go home with them that summer and Sirius' thoughts began whirling. "Here it comes…"
WHY THE HELL DOES MY GODSON LIVE WITH SNIVELLUS?!
James finally laughed; fully, freely, truly laughed.
"Shoulda left Peter for the aurors and fought Hagrid for Harry, eh?" James said. "Idiot."
***
Lily had never laughed so hard, nor felt so bad for Sev, as she did in the time that Sev tried to teach Harry the patronus charm.
Harry was brilliant. He was powerful. He was charismatic and charming.
But her baby had no idea how emotional magic worked and it was the funniest damn thing Lily ever saw.
After their initial lesson—
Where Severus admitted to Harry that he typically thought of him when he summoned his patronus, causing Lily and James to coo at him.
They'd also roared with laughter when Sev told Harry that he had trusted Evan, Regulus, and Barty with all his secrets.
"What a load of bollocks," James said. "He didn't tell any of them when he planned on leaving the death eaters, did he?"
"Your friends were all death eaters, I feel like you're not a good judge of character," Harry quipped at Sev. He offered him a cheeky grin to go with his truthful words.
"Your friends are in a gang, how is that better?"
"Got 'em," James grinned.
—Harry had taken to harassing Sev at regular intervals with memories he thought might help him produce a patronus.
"When I started my gang?"
"No."
"When I broke Parkinson's wand?"
"No."
"When I sued Dumbledore?"
"No."
"Killed Lockhart?"
"No."
"What memory do you use?" Lily asked James the morning of Halloween after Harry tried to use the memory of receiving his Hogwarts letter to produce a patronus.
James smiled at Lily and she felt those soft butterflies explode in her at the look in his eyes.
"You," he said. "My best friend, my one true love."
"Aww…" Lily kissed him softly, lingering to stared in his twinkling hazel eyes. "I love you, James."
"And I love you." He rubbed his nose to hers. "If I had to make one now though? I'd think of our son soaring through the skies and catching the snitch."
Lily grinned and sat back in her seat. "You're such a jock, James," she said affectionately. "How did I get stuck with such a quidditch fanatic?"
"My good looks," James winked.
Lily looked over his trim torso, his firm arms, and his broad chest. "Mmm, probably, yes."
James blushed a little then leaned in for another kiss. "Have time for a 'death day shag' before our mates arrive?" he murmured afterward.
"What a romantic," Lily rolled her eyes. "And yes, obviously."
They both had dumb smiles on their faces when their friends arrived for the party that night.
***
"What the hell is Sirius doing?" Marlene laughed as Sirius prowled around the outside of the castle on the Sirius Telly.
James grinned at the antics of his old friend. "He's trying to remember how to get in the dungeons."
"What for?" Dorcas asked, slurring her words a bit as she sipped her fourth drink of the night.
"'Catch a rat, save Harry,'" Regulus said in a deep voice. "'Gotta be a godfather. Gotta kill the rat.' God, I despise him."
"Course you do," Dorcas winked at Regulus. "So it wasn't Sirius' channel I saw playing at your place the other day?"
"Keep your friends close and your enemies closer," Regulus drawled before downing a shot of something clear. "Wait…" Regulus' sharp grey eyes flew to Dorcas. "You weren't at my place the other day?"
"We looked through your window," Marlene laughed shamelessly as she wrapped her arms around Dorcas' shoulders. "We wanted to see if—,"
"Aconite."
"He did it!"
James spun around from where he'd been standing around a table of booze with his friends to see Lily with her hand over her mouth and her finger pointed at the Sirius telly.
"Sirius is in the Slytherin rooms!" James yelped as he recognized the area. "Quick! Who has the remote?! Change Harry to Peter! FIND THE RAT!"
Elaine scrambled to grab the remote off the end table in the sitting room and flicked it from a scene of Harry and his friends walking through the entrance hall to…
Darkness.
"He must be in Ron's pocket," Gideon said logically.
"Damnit!" Lily actually stomped her foot. "Why is luck never on our side?"
"Lils…" James grinned at her as he gestured for Elaine to flick the Peter channel back to Harry. "Where's Sirius at right now?"
"Slytherin dorms," Marlene answered for her like the know-it-all they all knew and loved.
"And where do you think Harry and Ron are headed?"
Regulus was the first one to get it. He let out a bitter laugh and pushed the twins aside so he could sit right in front of the Sirius telly. "Odds on my brother joining us tonight, Jamie?"
"Not as high as the odds of Peter going to hell if Sirius sees him," James said. He also slid on the floor to gaze up at the tellies with Regulus.
"Every time he throws something of Harry's, I get the feeling the odds of Sirius joining us climb," Dorcas snickered with the twins.
They could laugh all they want, but they weren't wrong. Harry was obsessive with his belongings, rightfully so, and he was going to be furious to see Sirius tossing them about.
As if Peter was hiding in a bloody trunk.
The afterlife gang all held their breath as Ron opened the dorm door and…
"AAAAAHHHHH!"
Oh. Fuck.
"Harry's going to kiiiiiiiiill him," Marlene sang.
"Isn't Sirius your guys' friend?" Elaine asked, bewildered by their cheery outlooks.
"Yeah, so it'll be nice to see him, eh?" Gideon laughed.
"Speak for yourself," Regulus muttered.
He could act like he hated Sirius all he wanted, they could all see how much he loved his brother and missed him.
"Bloody hell," Fabian breathed as Harry burst in the dorm and immediately began cursing Sirius at rapid fire speed. "I'd hate to duel that kid."
So did Sirius.
Is Harry freakishly fast or am I slow?
Sorry, Pup, he thought as he shoved past Harry and began literally running for his life.
"Fuck!" Dorcas yelped when a green spell hit the wall only a few feet to the left of Sirius. "Is Harry seriously throwing around AK's in a room full of students?"
"Collateral damage, so sad," Regulus said drily. "Hit Sirius, Harry, do it."
Harry didn't hit Sirius, but he did summon the knife Sirius planned on killing Peter with right out of his hand just before Sirius fled from the room.
The death day party resumed as everyone began eagerly discussing this newest interaction and Minerva burst into the Slytherin rooms with the female prefect and drug the students all to the Great Hall.
"What happened?" Minerva asked Harry.
Harry hastily hid the knife in his robe sleeves and gave her a sweet smile. "Nothing, ma'am."
Minerva rolled her eyes and looked at Ron, who was pale and clammy. "Mister Weasley?""Sirius Black, ma'am," Ron said with an apologetic look at Harry. "He fought Harry."
Harry hissed a swear at Ron as he was abruptly taken to the Hospital Wing.
"Sev's going to be piiiiiiiissed," Lily said happily. She changed the pouting Sirius channel over to Severus' and the two of them cocked their heads in a Harry-like manner at Severus' thoughts.
I'm a terrible guardian. What other guardian in the world has allowed so many terrible things to happen to their ward as I have?
"That's not fair," Lily said quickly, always defending Severus, even from his own thoughts. "What other guardian in the world has a kid like Harry as their ward?"
"You're doing great," James assured Severus, as empty as the words were when they were separated by life. "Harry's a special case."
"That he is," Regulus scoffed. He got to his feet with James' assistance and brushed his trousers off. "He's a menace. You're lucky to not be raising him, Jamie. You would ground him and he'd kill you."
James ignored the pang of sadness he felt at Reg calling him 'lucky'. He kept a cheerful mask up, refusing to drop the mood of the get together of all his friends. "I guess that's why Sev doesn't ground him then, eh?"
"No, he simply doesn't care."
"Wrong," Lily said. She was smug when James and Regulus turned to the telly she was pointing at. Severus had gotten the patronus from Minerva, alerting him to Harry being in the Hospital Wing, and he was practically sprinting from the astronomy tower to the hospital.
"Sev cares about Harry," Lily said firmly. "Harry's his patronus. He loves him."
"Of course he does," Dorcas agreed. She patted Lily on the shoulder condescendingly. "He wants Harry to live to be a man. A good man? A bad man? That's the part he doesn't care about."
James caught Lily's eye and they both shrugged.
If Harry made it to seventeen- James didn't give a damn if he killed Voldemort and took his place.
He just wanted him to live.
And be happy.
Truly happy, not just manic happy.
The party was in full-swing and almost everyone, except Elaine, was pissed when Harry and Severus began arguing outside the Great Hall on the telly.
"You are a brain-dead moron, Potter."
"Am I? So I suppose if you're so smart then you know how Black got in the castle and in our room?"
"You've given the password to half the damned castle! Who knows which idiot child left the password lying around!"
"Can't insult Susan, Harry'll kill you," Gideon nodded at the telly. He took a long swig of his pint then waved the cup toward the telly. "Or Luna, Luna, Luna. Insult Luna and you'll die."
"Plus, Sirius got the password from Theo," Marlene said with a drunken giggle. "Theooo gave it to Her-Herm- to that girl, for sssex."
"Did he?" Lily gasped dramatically. "Are they shagging??"
"They are," Dorcas laughed. "Well, not quite, but Hermione's got quite a mouth for such a bookworm."
"Gross," James cried. "They're babies!"
"They're thirteen," Fabian said with a careless shrug. "I had lost alllll my firsts by thirteen."
"I'm glad Harry's got no interest in dating right now," Lily said. She looked to James for support, but James merely hid a grin behind his drink.
Maybe Lily missed it, but Harry's eyes were beginning to linger on some of his classmates. And James was relatively confident that Harry was as interested in wizards as he was witches.
Harry wasn't sexually active now, but James didn't doubt it would be very long before he was. And, as Harry had inherited the best of both James and Lily's looks along with his own magnetic personality, James was confident that Harry wouldn't lack for willing partners.
He wasn't sure if he was proud or disturbed by that thought.
Both, he decided before throwing himself in the conversation with his friends about their own youthful dalliances while Harry was ushered safely in the Great Hall by Severus on the telly.
James kept quiet, as did Elaine, as he had a rather limited range of experience to speak about. He mostly amused himself by listening to Fabian's stories.
He should have had more sex before he died.
It was one of many regrets, he supposed.