Things escalated fast
So fast that no one saw it coming.
Now, all across Teyvat, everyone was talking about one thing:
"Venti is so pretty… and so damn attractive."
[Mondstadt Simp]: I hereby declare—Venti is my new wife. Any objections?
[Venti]: Do you even hear yourself right now?!
[Liyue Simp]: He's your wife? Then who's my wife?!
[Inazuma Simp]: Stealing someone's wife is unforgivable. Draw your blade!
[Venti]: Snap out of it! All of you, snap out of it!!!
[Cao Zhong]: @Venti Didn't expect this—you're quite popular.
[Kaeya]: Seeing so many people like Venti… I feel relieved.
[Venti]: @Kaeya What do you mean by that?
[Cao Zhong]: He means he's not the only one who swings that way.
[Venti]: Straighten it! No bending allowed! Straighten yourselves!!!
[Kaeya]: @Venti Sorry, just spat it in your face.
[Venti]: What did you spit?! You bastard!
[Bennett]: Wuwuwu… how am I supposed to face Venti from now on?
[Barbara]: Explode! Just explode already!
[Hu Tao]: I can't look at Venti the same way anymore! Hahahahaha!
[Yae Miko]: Even the Anemo Archon has people lusting after him… yet no one lusts after our Raiden Shogun. What kind of world is this?!
[Raiden Ei]: ?
…
At this moment, Venti looked at the flood of cursed messages in the chat—
And genuinely wanted to disappear.
"I'm a guy! A guy!!!"
He couldn't stay in this chat anymore.
It was full of degenerates!
And now they didn't even bother hiding it?!
[Anonymous Feiyun Commerce Guild Employee]: Just got off work. Seeing so many people calling the Anemo Archon their wife—so is the Anemo Archon female?
[Venti]: I'm a man!!!
[Anonymous Employee]: Even better.
[Venti]: ?
[Xingqiu]: ?
[Anonymous Employee]: The Anemo Archon represents freedom, right? So it's fine if I… aim at you?
[Venti]: Aim what?! Say it clearly—what are you aiming?!
[Venti]: @Xingqiu Can you manage your employee?!
[Xingqiu]: Ah—well—this is after work hours. Private behavior. The guild takes no responsibility.
[Anonymous Employee]: Exactly! Normally I aim at our Second Young Master!
[Venti]: !!!
[Xingqiu]: ???
Xingqiu completely broke.
"What is going on?!"
He had just been laughing at Venti—
And now the gossip had turned on him?!
Who the hell is this employee?!
He was going to fire them!
[Cao Zhong]: That's… a lot of information.
[Kaeya]: My brain is overheating.
[Bennett]: This world is crazy—rats marrying cats!
[Xingqiu]: @Anonymous Employee Show your name if you dare! Don't hide behind anonymity!
[Anonymous Employee]: Second Young Master, don't be like that. I'll aim at you again next time—today's quota is already given to the Anemo Archon!
[Venti]: I'll kill you—say your name!!!
[Xingqiu]: Who are you?! Say it! SAY IT!!!
[Anonymous Employee]: @Venti Ah—urgent matter. Anemo Archon, open your mouth!!!
[Venti]: OPEN YOUR—?!?!
[Anonymous Employee]: Aaaah—done! What a dull day again!
[Venti]: @Anonymous Employee You're finished. No matter where you run, I will find you—and end you!
[Anonymous Employee]: @Venti Don't be like that. That was just a fling. The one I truly love is our Second Young Master.
[Xingqiu]: @Anonymous Employee Please—don't love me. There's no future!
[Anonymous Employee]: No way. It's been years! I've even used several of your photos already!
[Xingqiu]: You're dead. You're absolutely dead. Just wait till I find out who you are!
[Cao Zhong]: @Anonymous Employee I refuse to believe any man is more beautiful than Venti. You must be lying.
[Anonymous Employee]: @Cao Zhong I'm telling the truth!
[Kaeya]: @Anonymous Employee I don't believe it either—unless you post a photo.
[Xingqiu]: @Anonymous Employee Don't you dare post it! I order you not to!!!
[System]: User "Anonymous Feiyun Commerce Guild Employee" has uploaded a photo.
[Anonymous Employee]: I'm not posting this for myself—just to prove our Second Young Master is more beautiful than Venti!!!
[Xingqiu]: I will find you—I swear I will find you, you bastard!!!
When everyone saw the photo—
It was like being struck by Cupid's arrow.
It was—
A photo of Xingqiu in female attire.
Delicate as spring blossoms,
pure as autumn chrysanthemums.
How… how could this be?!
They had thought Venti was already a peerless beauty—
And now there was Xingqiu too?!
With these two—
What more could one possibly ask for?!
[Chongyun]: Th-this… how am I supposed to face you now, Xingqiu?!
[Keqing]: I didn't expect the Second Young Master of the Feiyun Guild to have such a side.
[Hu Tao]: What Second Young Master? That's clearly the Second Young Miss! Hahahahaha!
[Yae Miko]: My, my… boys these days are something else. Even I feel inferior.
[Liyue Simp]: I'll go crazy for Xingqiu! I'll— I'll— I already did!!!
[Xingqiu]: N-no—stop! I don't need this!!!
[Mondstadt Simp]: @Venti Sorry, Anemo Archon. I can't give everything to you anymore…
[Venti]: Give it all to him! I don't want any of it!!!
[Mondstadt Simp]: @Venti No, you're still my god, my white moonlight!
[Venti]: Not anymore! Starting today, I'm not!!!
[Inazuma Simp]: Are you all done? If so… I'm going in!!!
[Liyue Simp]: You still have standards?!
[Inazuma Simp]: Of course. I prefer exclusivity.
[Venti]: @Raiden Ei Can you kill him? Please kill him!!!
[Raiden Ei]: (*￣︶￣)
[Yae Miko]: @Venti Killing is not allowed~
[Anonymous Employee]: The way you're all reacting… it feels like I'm committing something forbidden right in front of others. This feeling… amazing!
[Venti]: HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE?!
[Xingqiu]: You little bastard—don't let me find you!
[Lisa]: I'd love to calculate the psychological damage Venti and Xingqiu just took. (giggle)
[Cao Zhong]: I've figured it out—the people in this chat are all absolute talents.