The ICU — a place Ichinose Soyo had never once imagined she would set foot in.
It wasn't that she had never thought about it. Only that she hadn't expected to end up here before she'd even turned fifteen.
"Ma — Mama?"
The woman lying in the hospital bed was Yoshiiro Chiose. She had wasted away so completely that Soyo almost didn't recognise her at first glance.
Come to think of it, the last time Chiose had driven to pick her up, she had already been so much thinner. Only Soyo hadn't — only she hadn't —
Only she had never really looked at her mother. Not properly.
How long had it been? How long since she had truly, carefully watched her mother?
Hm… she couldn't remember.
It felt like the moment she had started burying herself in work just to prove herself, she had stopped seeing Yoshiiro Chiose at all.
"I'm here, little Soyo."
Chiose's voice was faint, drifting — less like something rising from a throat and more like something that had simply materialised out of the air.
[No. No, no, no — what is this? This can't be real. All of it has to be fake.]
Even now, Ichinose Soyo still could not bring herself to believe what she was seeing.
How had she gotten sick? So suddenly, just like that?
Mama was barely thirty — why was she this ill?
She lay in a hospital gown that looked one size too large. Her face had drained of all colour. There was no life left in her. She was… wilting.
"It can't be — how can this be… I…"
Soyo didn't know what she was supposed to say.
She could feel it — Yoshiiro Chiose's gaze, resting on her and never leaving.
Soyo lifted her head with great care. She was filled with regret that she hadn't gone home with Chiose last Friday. What on earth had she even been doing that Friday — had practice and putting on a good performance really mattered that much?
Why had she cared so much about those things back then?
[Because I wanted my mother's approval. Because I wanted to shore up some pathetic little place for myself.]
No, no — it was just because — just because —
[Because the anxiety inside me was eating me alive, and I kept desperately needing to do something, anything, to make it stop.]
She had even snapped at her mother that day. Had spoken to her in that awful tone. Back then, she had —
"The performance went well, didn't it?"
Soyo met those eyes.
Chiose's pupils had turned a deep, dull red — clouded and dim.
"I can't hold you anymore. What a shame…"
Soyo felt that her mother still had so much left to say. But her mother, just like her, had run out of time to tell each other what lay buried deepest in their hearts.
"The samgyetang… it's in the fridge. You can heat it up when you get home."
That sentence felt so distant.
That sentence felt like — like it simply did not exist at all.
You think that was how it ended?
What a beautiful thing to imagine. Truly beautiful.
To be able to say a final goodbye to the one you love — to let everything in your heart spill out to each other — to die without a single regret. How wonderful that would be.
A pity, then. What a terrible pity.
That final farewell was nothing but the fantasy of a wretched girl.
Ichinose Soyo — she never got to —
"Never got to see her one last time…"
Yoshiiro Chiose was gone. She had passed away.
By the time Soyo reached the hospital, it was already too late. There was no last moment to share.
What she knew of Chiose's final hours had been pieced together from the mouths of nurses and doctors.
Some of them said Chiose had been so frail.
Some said she hadn't had the strength to speak a single complete sentence.
Some said that poor woman had still been smiling when she died.
They told her many things. Soyo couldn't find it in herself to listen to any of it.
That day, she had left her bandmates behind and rushed to the hospital in a panic — only to find that Ms. Nagasaki had arrived before her.
Her mother was weeping. And she had not stopped weeping from that day on.
Her mother must have known what Chiose's last words were. But her mother had no heart left to share them.
And so Soyo had no choice but to build it herself — in her imagination — what Chiose-mama might have said to her at the very end.
Yoshiiro Chiose's apartment. Soyo stood motionless before the refrigerator door, staring at nothing.
The fridge was half-open. Ichinose Soyo stared blankly at the samgyetang inside, covered in cling wrap.
Was this the samgyetang Chiose-mama had made for her? The one she had mentioned that day?
Had Chiose-mama's final words — her last words before the end — really been about samgyetang in the fridge?
But… but…
The lights in the apartment were off. A heavy, hollow haze had settled over the little home like its new constant.
"But that day, I refused to go home with her… I even — I even said she should go find Sakiko, that she wasn't only my mother…"
What was I even saying…
How could I have said that…
Soyo's face was gaunt and pale. She pressed weakly against the fridge door, but after days without eating she had no strength left to push it shut.
The door only half-closed — orange light leaked endlessly through the gap.
That light cast Soyo's vacant, hollow stare in stark relief.
"I…"
Why had she let herself be blinded by jealousy?
Why had she ever felt jealous — why had she ever resented her?
Her mother hadn't done a single thing wrong. So why had she been so selfish — why had she felt as if her mother were taking the love meant for her and giving it to someone else?
She was starved of love. But the one who had given her love — she — she —
Yoshiiro Chiose was gone.
She had left.
She was never coming back.
The medical staff said it was cancer. But her mother had — ah, come to think of it, her mother had mentioned that her health had been poor since middle school, that she had even fainted once.
And yet Soyo had always been so selfish. Always only thinking about taking love, demanding it.
She had never really given her mother much care in return. Not truly.
Even the band — it had just been another way to extract praise from her mother. Her mother must have seen through all of it. And yet her mother —
"She still gave me everything I ever wanted."
She was always like that. So selfless, always.
Soyo dragged her stiff, leaden body to the living room.
These past days of weeping had wrung her dry. There were no more tears — only the dried tracks they had left on her cheeks.
Even now, none of it felt real.
It was too sudden.
Why had she just — why had she just left?
There was still so much Soyo wanted to say to her. And the band — her performance had been so remarkable, the audience had loved it.
But it was such a shame. Her mother hadn't made it in time to watch.
Soyo felt numb all over. She had no desire to cry right now, no desire to do anything at all.
She felt almost eerily calm. A stillness too deep to be natural.
Buzz.
Buzz.
Her phone was ringing. It was Sakiko Togawa.
"Hello? Soyo? Are you doing okay lately?"
"…"
Mm? Mm — mm!
Soyo snapped her head up. Something had clicked.
[Why… why did Sakiko Togawa already know that Chiose-mama was close to the end?]
Mm? Mm? Mm?
Was that right?
Was that right…
"I'm fine. What is it?"
Her voice came out startlingly hoarse — it didn't even sound like her own throat.
"Everyone in the band's been worried about you, so I gave you a call."
"Where are you all."
"Huh?"
"I said. Where are you all. Are they all there with you?"
The edge in Soyo's voice was sharpening fast — a faint thread of anger woven through it.
"We're at Ring, we still have practice today…"
"Don't leave."
"I'm coming."
____
________________________________________
🌸 Help Love Bloom!
Our girls need a little push... and you can help!
💖 Gift for Everyone: Once we hit 50 Powerstones, I'll release +1 bonus chapter to warm your hearts.
🚀 Community Reward: If we reach 20 supporting members, we'll have a +5 chapter marathon across all stories! The romance won't stop.
👻 Come to our secret corner: Search for GirlsLove on (P). You know that's where the magic happens... 😉