Jay's pov:
I wasn't asleep, I never was...I was just tired.
So I preferred to close my eyes.
Sounds too many. I noticed it. I knew the voices.
Section E.
Girls.
Aries. My brother.
"Sorry I should have been a better brother..." I heard him say. He kissed my forehead gently.
I heard all of them. Their apology....how much ever I wanted to forgive...
.....I couldn't.
Humiliation hurts more. the voice echoes like hell.
Maybe even burning in hell wouldn't hurt this much.
Then came keifer. The moment he entered I felt. I didn't need to hear his voice to know who it is.
His Presence was enough. the warmth was enough.
I hate the fact I still love him even after all this.
"I'm sorry for causing pain...I thought I was doing the right thing...." he whispered.
Something warm fell.
A drop.
tears. His tears.
My chest tightened.
I felt our lips meet. Hesitant. I wanted to pull back but I didn't.
Because I melted into it. He noticed I was awake.
He froze.
He pulled away quickly.
I got up.....I thought for fraction of second.
he was about to step back. But I pulled him back in for a kiss.
He froze again.
He clearly didn't expect this.
Until his lips moved back with the same intensity. Our tongue fighting for dominance.
A part of me wanted to believe him. Hear him out. Trust him....
But how?
How was I supposed to let humiliation go?
How am I supposed to protect him from the Mariano's.
I kissed him deeper at these thought. How much ever I wanted to be angry at him.
I couldn't it....
Noises.
Jare. He was arguing something. I pulled away. Both of us were breathless.
His eyes were shimmering tears forming. He tried to kiss again...
I turned my head in one side. He noticed.
"One explanation please.....Just once...." He begged.
My fist curled up.
"How am I supposed to trust. What about the humiliation?" I asked silently. My own tears threatening.
"I'm sorry....I was jealous....I-i'm going to therapy....." He stammered.
Therapy?
Ouch!
"T-Therapy?" I whispered.
"Yes....everything too overwhelming I just wanted to be better. for everyone. especially for you." He knelt down beside me.
"Just one chance Jay...." He held my hand. Forehead touching my hand. Tears falling
Overwhelming.
The same feeling I'm feeling. All those lies. Years of pain.
Jeana.
I was abused. Yet even when I was told to go to psychiatrist...for therapy.
They called me crazy for my phobia.
While he went through almost the same thing as me...yet he could go to therapy.
Be confident...at least for his siblings.
While me?
I'm scared anywhere near hospitals.
But still.
Even If I did want to forgive him....
....What about the humiliation?
.....What about the Mariano's....
....The engagement....
Everything is messed up.
Now keifer and Section E.
My hands tightened around his.
While he was hoping for forgiveness.....
....A chance.
How can I forget about it? Even if I start to love him again...what will people think of me?
They will call me fool in love!
Mariano's will be hard to convince.
NO! NOT NOW!
"Please Jay...I'm not asking you to forgive me.....or us. Just give us a chance...we will prove it." He whispered.
I absorbed the word...letting it settle in my heart.
I felt like I was sinking.
"Go. You should go." I said.
His hope vanished.
I saw it.
He slowly got up...walking away.
Towards the door.
"Keifer!" I called out weak, but my voice high.
He turned.
"Is something wrong? Should I call a doctor?" He asked worried.
"I'll think" answered him.
Think.
Not forgive. or a chance.
He was trying to change....
....and that.
Matters.
For me. at least.
"Think?" He whispered.
"I'll think...give me time. But this doesn't change anything. The gap between us stays....don't step on it." I warned.
"Thanks" He whispered. A silent tear slipping down...
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You better not break my trust this time Watson!
Or else I'm sending you to hell myself.