I woke up and made myself some simple toast. Checking my phone, I saw a message from Hitokawa. He said he felt good about the written exam and thanked me for the rice cakes.
Eto was still asleep, but she would undoubtedly be hungry when she woke, so I decided to draw some fresh blood.
The recurring bouts of anemia were becoming a concern; I'd been drawing too much lately. I knew I needed to buy some meat to replenish my strength, but with my finances being what they wereโฆ
I pricked my arm with the needleโa task I could now perform with my eyes closedโand chewed idly on my toast while the blood bag slowly filled.
Remaining in that hazy morning daze, I let my eyes wander mindlessly around the room until they snagged on the diaper box.
"Ah, I'm out of diapers."
For the first time since I'd stopped attending school, I decided to take Eto out with me.
I secured her against my chest in a baby carrier and donned a pair of sunglasses to hide my ๐ฌ๐ข๐ฌ๐ถ๐จ๐ข๐ฏ. As I stepped out the front door, a heavy, somber sky greeted us, looking as though it might pour at any second.
"Is it going to rain?"
"๐๐ถ๐ถ!"
I grabbed an umbrella just in case and left the apartment complex. Despite the high humidity from the gloomy weather, the wind was cool and surprisingly refreshing. I found myself whistling a tune, and when I noticed Eto tilting her head left and right to the rhythm, a small laugh escaped me.
After about fifteen minutes of walking, I arrived at the supermarket where the lady at the counter had become a familiar face. Being morning, the aisles were quiet and sparsely populated.
As I passed the meat section, I was reminded of my recent dizzy spells. No matter how broke I was, collapsing from exhaustion wouldn't help anyone. I had to bite the bullet and buy some meat, even if it meant a significant dent in my savings.
I asked the butcher for a thick, dripping cut. As I watched my wallet grow significantly lighter, I felt a momentary urge to faint right then and there.
I made my way back home, carrying diapers in one hand and a plastic bag of meat in the other. I pulled out my key and slid it into the lock.
๐๐ญ๐ช๐ค๐ฌ.
I froze.
The lock yielded instantly, the cylinder turning without the slightest resistance.
It wasn't locked.
Had I forgotten to lock it when I left? Impossible. I distinctly remembered checking it. Did someone pick the lock? My landlord? A burglar?
I found myself wishing it were one of them.
The worst-case scenario had already flashed through my mind. I always kept a spare key hidden for emergencies on top of an electrical box near the apartment. It was higher than head level, somewhere no one passing through the hallway would ever notice. But when I reached up, my fingers met only empty air.
There was no mistake. Someone had used that key to enter.
Hiding the key that way was a habit I'd carried over from my previous home. And the only people who knew about that habit were the people who had lived in that house.
Me, my mother, and my father.
With my mother gone, the only one left who knewโฆ
"...Father."
I opened the door to find my father waiting. I fought to suppress the surge of panic rising in my throat.
I was screwed. I had prepared countermeasures after his last surprise visit, but those were all predicated on me being ๐ช๐ฏ๐ด๐ช๐ฅ๐ฆ the house. He had arrived while I was out. That meant every single piece of baby gear I hadn't hidden had been discovered.
My father, sitting cross-legged in the middle of the floor, turned his head toward me.
"Come in."
The air in the room was so thick with tension it felt suffocating.
Twenty minutes had passed since I'd sat down across from him. In all that time, not a single word had been exchanged. If it were possible to kill a man with silence, this was surely how it was done.
The only sounds occupying the space were the first drops of rain tapping against the window, the meaningless ๐ต๐ช๐ค๐ฌ-๐ต๐ฐ๐ค๐ฌ of the clock, andโฆ
"๐๐ถ๐ถ~?"
The sound of Eto playfully patting my father's knee as if she'd found a fascinating new toy.
Stop it, Eto. My heart is already on the verge of a seizure. Besides, you're playing with your natural enemy!
Knowing that trying to lie about the baby supplies would only make things worse, I had decided to present Eto openly, but now I was starting to regret that "bold" move.
As I racked my brain for a way to explain Eto to him, my father finally broke the heavy silence.
"...I'm sorry."
"...What?"
Wait, what did I just hear?
I was the one who should be kneeling and begging for forgiveness, yet I could have sworn I just heard my father apologize. Oblivious to my internal panic, my father continued in a low, somber voice.
"I knew I hadn't been paying enough attention to you, but I never imagined you had fathered a child and were raising her all alone.... It's all my fault. A parent's duty is to guide their child through the wanderings of youth. My failure to be by your side is great."
Uhโฆ okay. Based on what he's sayingโฆ
'๐๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐ฌ๐ด ๐๐ต๐ฐ ๐ช๐ด ๐ฎ๐บ ๐ฃ๐ช๐ฐ๐ญ๐ฐ๐จ๐ช๐ค๐ข๐ญ ๐ค๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ฅ!?'
It was startling, but upon reflection, it was a natural misunderstanding. He would never suspect I was raising the daughter of a ghoul I just happened to know.
Regardless, this was a favorable turn of events.
The absolute worst outcome would be him discovering Eto was a ghoul. I was too terrified to even imagine what would happen then. Compared to that, pretending I was the father of a child from some non-existent "fling" was infinitely better.
I had to ride this momentum.
"๐-๐๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ฎ! I'm sorry too. For not being honest with you, Father..."
"It's fine. But where is the mother?"
"Um... she's deadโno, I mean, she left."
"Left? She left you and the baby behind?"
"Yeah. She went somewhere very far away, so I've been raising her on my own."
"You must have suffered much."
My father reached out and stroked the head of the toddler lingering around his knees. Eto didn't seem to mind his rough, calloused hand; she leaned into his touch. A faint smile touched my father's lips as he looked at her.
To an outsider, it would look like a peaceful scene between a grandfather and his grandchild. To me, knowing they were a Ghoul Investigator and a ghoul, it was heart-stopping.
My father watched Eto for a moment longer before turning to me with a look of firm resolve.
"There is no need for you to suffer anymore. I will raise this child."
"ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!"
The shout ripped from my throat reflexively. My father, raising a ghoul? That was like heating a nuclear warhead on a frying pan!
But as I saw my father's startled expression and Eto began to cry, I immediately regretted my rash outburst.
"Why, Koma?"
Suspicion began to cloud my father's face. No. If I don't explain this properly and quickly, he'll realize something is wrong!
I pulled Eto into my arms to soothe her while I spoke. I didn't have the luxury to judge if my words made sense; I just had to throw everything at the wall and hope it stuck.
"Of course it's hard! I know people will talk behind my back! But Eto is ๐ฎ๐บ child! I don't care if I'm insulted or if I starve! I'm the one who wakes up in the middle of the night to soothe her, I'm the one who changes her diapers at all hours, and I'm the one who has to provide for her! There were so many times I wanted to give up because it was so hard! But right now, I am Eto's father! I might be a pathetic human who can't even take responsibility for his own life, but I have a father's sense of duty!! So I won't give her up!! I'm going to raise Eto myself!!"
๐๐ถ๐ง๐ง! ๐๐ถ๐ง๐ง!
I'd just blurted out whatever came to mind, but once I finished, it actually sounded quite convincing.
It seemed to reach my father as well. He pondered for a moment before nodding in reluctant agreement.
"...If that is how you feel, I suppose I cannot stop you. Very well. You shall raise her."
Yes! It worked! I turned my head away so he couldn't see the triumphant smirk on my face. At any rate, it was a relief that he wouldn't interfere with me raising Eto. This meant I could provide for her with a bit more peace of mindโ
๐๐ณ๐ช๐ฑ.
"Huh?"
A strange sensation at the tip of my nose.
By the time I realized what it was, it was already too late. Had the fatigue from childcare finally caught up to me? Or had I simply gotten too worked up during my speech?
Of all the times to get a nosebleed. And I was already worried about my low blood volume...
"Koma, your nose isโ"
My father started to stand up as he saw the blood, but his movement stopped midway.
ใ๐๐ช๐ด๐ง๐ฐ๐ณ๐ต๐ถ๐ฏ๐ฆ ๐ข๐ญ๐ธ๐ข๐บ๐ด ๐ข๐ณ๐ณ๐ช๐ท๐ฆ๐ด ๐ด๐ถ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ญ๐บ.ใ
That line suddenly surfaced in my mind. It was one of my favorite passages from a novel I loved.
The misfortune that had found me wasn't my father's sudden arrival. Just as I was feeling relieved that I'd navigated that hurdle, the ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ข๐ญ disaster struck me from behind.
"......Koma, put 'that thing' down this instant."
My father's voice, quiet and heavily suppressed, sounded as cold as a stranger's.
In one hand, he was already gripping his steel briefcase with bone-crushing force. His half-risen posture wasn't that of a man interrupted; it was the stance of a predator ready to pounce on its prey.
His gaze wasn't fixed on me.
That gaze, sharper than any blade, was directed at the child in my arms. At Eto, who had tasted the drop of blood falling from my noseโฆ and, thinking it was her usual meal, had happily swallowed it.
At Eto, whose right eye now bore the unmistakable proof of a monster: the ๐ฌ๐ข๐ฌ๐ถ๐จ๐ข๐ฏ.