[Ding! New Main Quest: "Join the Club"]
[Description: Survive your introduction to the Occult Research Club. Don't die of nosebleeds.]
[Reward: 40 SP, Unlock "Party Interface"]
[Bonus Objective: Get one girl's measurements. Reward: +20 SP. Warning: Death chance 85%]
"This system is going to get me killed," I muttered as I stood in front of the old school building.
The door to the ORC room was massive, ornate, and screamed "important people inside." I took a deep breath. Level 2. 45 HP. Trash Sacred Gear. Let's go.
I slid the door open.
The room was... insane. Antique furniture, magic circles carved into the floor, and sitting around a low table were the most dangerous women in Kuoh.
Rias Gremory sat at the head, legs crossed, giving me the "I still want to vaporize you" glare.
Akeno Himejima was next to her, smiling like she knew what I had for breakfast. "Ara, Kazuki-kun made it~"
A small white-haired girl was eating a cookie and ignoring me. Koneko Toujou.
And leaning against the wall with his arms crossed was a brown-haired guy with a confused look. Issei Hyoudou. The original MC.
My heart sank. The plot armor was right there.
"Kazuki Arata," Rias said coldly. "You interfered with a stray devil incident, stole Asia's ID, and sexually harassed me this morning."
"Objection!" I yelled. "The stealing was my Sacred Gear! The harassment was gravity! And I saved Asia!"
Asia, who was sitting nervously in the corner, nodded frantically. "H-he really did save me, Buchou!"
Rias's eyebrow twitched. "Explain this 'Sacred Gear'."
I held up my hand. "Trickster's Hand. I can steal one small thing per hour. I didn't even control it with Asia. It just... activates."
[Ding! New Emergency Quest: "Prove Your Worth"]
[Description: Rias doesn't believe you. Steal something from her without her noticing to prove your Sacred Gear.]
[Reward: 50 SP, Rias Affection +2]
[Failure: You get turned to ash. Literally.]
You've GOT to be kidding me. Steal from a Maou-class devil?!
I looked at Rias. She was tapping her finger, waiting. I looked at Akeno. She was mouthing 'Do it~'.
Fine. YOLO.
[Trickster's Hand Activated!] ****
I focused. Target: something small... on her desk... a pen.
Yoink.
Suddenly, I was holding a fancy red pen. Rias blinked and looked at her desk. The pen was gone.
Her eyes widened slightly. "...A spatial-type Sacred Gear? At your level?"
Issei looked at me like I was a rival. "Whoa, you have a Sacred Gear too?!"
Koneko actually stopped eating to glance at me.
[Ding! Quest "Prove Your Worth" Complete!]
[Rewards: +50 SP. Rias Gremory: Affection +2. Total SP: 140]
[Unlocked: Party Interface. You can now see basic stats of allies.]
A new tab appeared in my vision. I glanced at Rias.
[Rias Gremory - Lv.??]
[HP:?????/?????]
[MP:?????/?????]
[Status: Suspicious, Curious]
[Weakness:???]
[Harem Potential: 95%]
"Return it," Rias ordered.
I put the pen back on her desk like it burned me. "T-there! See? Totally not a pervert!"
[Ding! System Alert: You are lying. Penalty: -1 MP]
"OW!" My head suddenly hurt. This damn system.
Akeno giggled. "Ufufu, the system punishes lies? How cute."
Rias sighed and stood up. "Fine. Kazuki Arata, as of this moment, you are a probationary member of the Occult Research Club. You will be monitored by me. And you will attend Rating Game training starting tomorrow."
[Ding! Main Quest "Join the Club" Complete!]
[Rewards: +40 SP, Party Interface Unlocked. Total SP: 180]
Before I could celebrate, the System pinged again.
[Ding! New Side Quest: "Club Initiation"]
[Description: Akeno wants to "test" the new member. Survive her "welcome".]
[Reward: 60 SP, Unlock "Pervert's Intuition" Skill]
[R-18 Warning: This is a school. Fade to black will be enforced.]
"Ara," Akeno stood up and stretched, which was a war crime. "As Vice-President, it's my job to give Kazuki-kun a... health check. For safety reasons."
She started walking toward me. Rias rolled her eyes but didn't stop her. Issei was giving me a thumbs up with a tear in his eye. Koneko went back to her cookie.
"W-wait, what kind of health check?!"
Akeno stopped right in front of me and leaned down, putting us face to face. "The kind where I check if you have any... hidden curses on you~" Her finger traced my collarbone.
[Pervert's Intuition Activating... 10%... 30%...]
[Warning: Blood rushing to lower body. HP dropping due to nosebleed risk.]
"System, you traitor, help!"
[System: This is a tutorial. Endure it. Reward increased to 70 SP if you don't faint.]
Akeno's finger stopped right above my heart. "My my, your heart is beating so fast. Are you scared of me, Kazuki-kun?"
I was 0.2 seconds from a nosebleed fatality when the door slammed open again.
"Sona sent me to deliver— KYAAA! What are you doing to him?!" A girl with black hair in a bob cut and glasses walked in and immediately covered her eyes. Sona Sitri.
Akeno pulled back, laughing. "Ufufu, just a physical. He passed."
[Ding! Side Quest "Club Initiation" Complete!]
[Rewards: +70 SP. Skill Unlocked: "Pervert's Intuition" - Passive. +10% chance to detect hidden danger or... opportunities.]
[Akeno Himejima: Affection +5. Total SP: 250]
I collapsed into the nearest chair, trying to breathe. Sona dropped off some papers and left, looking disgusted with all of us.
Rias tossed a key at me. "That's your club key. Training starts 6 AM tomorrow. Don't be late, or Akeno will give you another 'physical'."
That was a threat and a promise.
As I left the club room, Issei caught up to me. "Hey, man. You got a Sacred Gear too? We should train together! Wanna be battle bros?"
[Issei Hyoudou: Relationship - Rival/Bro. Affection +1]
I looked at the original protagonist of DxD asking ME to be bros.
The System was broken, but I was here for it.
[End of Chapter 3]