Chapterly Quote:
"Scars are not who you are, they are who you've been and what you've been through. Our scars show us how much we can take and recover. They show us how hard we can really fight."
It was Saturday May 29th, when this fateful journey of mine started, and I'm in this terribly uncomfortable hospital robe. There were giants in turquoise scrubs, and the light above me was so bright I couldn't fully take in my surroundings. Then I realized the giants in scrubs all had smiles that were somewhat… cynical. Their teeth were too uniform, too straight, too clean, too perfect, but it was as if I had no hearing, or that my ears were submerged in water. It was chaotic but peaceful. Then everything blacked out. Today is Sunday May 30th. When I woke up, I found myself lying on a cot in a room with nothing but a night stand and a window overlooking what seemed to be a prison. I looked around (though there was nothing that caught my eye.) I tried to stand but my face became acquainted with the cold metal floor. I lay there on the ground squirming in frustration. I tried to make any sound to attract attention of someone. Then it hit me, I was alone... There was a little clock on the nightstand beside the cot, it read as 6:35 pm, the window was now dark and the moon was bright in the deep blue sky. I was quite frightened, and had grown tired with the effort of trying to reach the cot. I had waited for hours but no one was there. So I reached for the pillow that lay next to me, and in silence I sobbed myself to fall asleep on the cold floor. Unable to hear my own weeping and that was the first day alone in this unfamiliar prison-like room.
It's Monday, May 31st I woke to find myself lying on the cot again, I was in shock. You may believe it was from realizing that I wasn't in a dream, but where my most prized possession was before (a wooden arrowhead). Now was a glowing fine bronze arrowhead. It was beautiful. The arrowhead had dark markings in the shape of a stag, and tracing the edges of the markings was an ember-like lining that shimmered in the light. The arrowhead pendant stopped glowing. With this beautiful sight still fresh on my mind, I now felt a glimmer of hope. And with this new found resolve I'd decided that I would escape this prison that held me. And it was then that I had noticed that the walls now had rails all around the room. Though it was suspiciously convenient I decided to put it to use anyway once again I shakily pushed off my cot and put more pressure on the railings. I barely lifted my foot inches from the floor when I fell. Taking that one step elevated my confidence by miles, but all the exertion it took to lift my leg sapped my energy. And with all the exhaustion my vision dimmed, until I blacked out.
I again woke up on the cot just as a few hours prior . But something was different… I then looked down at my neck. At first I froze, then moments later I shouted in frustration, finally realizing the absence of the bronze pendant. With what little strength I had reserved I searched the entire cot, and found… nothing. A brutal wave of despair washed over me. The loss of my only possession felt like a punch to the gut. Right when I thought there was nothing I could do, I chuckled bitterly to myself, more frustration set in as I thought about how long it might take for my body to fully recover from its current state. Though I couldn't feel anythin below my waist I stood up and tried to walk. I fell once again but got back up struggling to balance. I kept falling and standing back up. I repeated this cycle for hours on end. Until … I fell to the floor unable to get up. The exhaustion of forcing my body to work had gotten to me. I lay there on the floor with a familiar sensation of utter helplessness. I felt hot tears of frustration, and sadness, and was beginning to lose hope. Again I cried silent tears unable to hear the sounds of my suffering in this severe mental torment. I had fallen to sleep before I could think of anything more.
I have forgotten the date but today I once again woke up in this cot. My blood was still boiling from yesterday, I looked around to see my pendant on a nightstand near the bed. This gave me conflicting feelings about yesterday. Has it all been a dream? I stood up from the cot. I tried to walk but fell. I crawled up to the night stand. I reached for my pendant and grabbed it as tight as I could and pulled it close to my chest. For a few moments I didn't move, I just sat there focusing on the rhythm of my breathing and heartbeat. I punched the floor with frustration, and as a result my hand started to throb. In spite of all this I still did my best to pull myself up onto the cot but I didn't move an inch. All I could do was struggle and struggle against gravity, but it was useless. I was still weak, I was still… Nobody. After all this time I still don't even know my own name, where I had come from, why I was here. All I had was my pendant. Once again the feeling of helplessness set in but I somehow found the strength to stand and my body finally moved like I wasn't in a critical condition. And with the adrenaline in me I pulled myself up to the cot and was shaking with this newfound energy. I took deep breaths to slow my heart rate but the rush didn't cease. I tried closing my eyes, but my body still shook, I was tired. I laid there with my eyes closed for what seemed to be hours. Then I fell asleep, and thirty minutes later I woke up, and the little clock on the nightstand read as 4:00 pm. I laid there staring at that clock and I felt a pang of anger. I wanted to hit something but I couldn't move, I wanted to do something but I was too weak. I had no energy, I was powerless in this situation, but little did I know I had to learn to accept it. I stared at the ceiling for hours until I finally dozed off again.
I woke up around 6:32 am and I stared at the ceiling. Utterly tired, and bored out of my mind, but what was I to do about it and I realized something crucial, I hadn't eaten at all. After noticing this major detail my stomach growled. I looked to my right and where the little clock was on the nightstand, and suddenly there was a fully cooked breakfast with pancakes, eggs, and bacon. I didn't hesitate to start eating from the plate of food, the food felt hotter than an asphalt road in the summer, but I still scarfed it down, nearly regurgitating it. After I finished eating I wiped the leftover crumbs from my mouth. That had been my first meal in this place, and from that point on I would never forget it. That entire day I just laid there on that cot, my consciousness blinking in and out, until I fell peacefully asleep.
3 hours later I woke up to a man in a black suit with a black mask that had dull glowing markings, standing over me. He grabbed me by my shirt and lifted me off the bed. I tried to struggle but my body seized up. The man was built like an ogre, and dragged me along the floor with as much strength. He continued through a door that seemed to be hidden in a wall of my room. I was then dragged through a hallway that seemed endless. After entering and exiting a series of hidden doors I was thrown into a room that was like that of a mess hall. And there were people there! So many people! They all wore black t-shirts, and black pants, and … all were staring at me, until a bell chimed, and they all went back to eating. I sat on the floor against the wall afraid to stand and fall in front of so many people. Eventually a girl about an inch shorter than me walked over and moved her mouth as if forming words. She cocked her head at me when I didn't reply. She then reached into the pocket of her pants and pulled out a pencil and paper. She scribbled something on the paper then handed it to me. I looked at the paper and realized it was a note, it said "Can you read" I nodded my head slowly. The girl wrote on the paper again "Can you hear?". I shook my head quickly. Once again the girl scribbled more words on the paper, then handed it to me. "Hi I'm Amelia Harriet, what's your name?" She handed a pencil to me. I wrote on the paper "I don't have one".
After reading the paper she frowned. She waited (seemingly to think of what to say next), and a few seconds later wrote "Can I name you?" I wrote "Sure". She looked around then stopped after seeing a dim lantern, and beamed, and wrote "how about Loir? It means son of light." I thought to myself "Loir" the name seemed to make my heart beat fast and hard. "Sure it sounds great," I wrote. She "Loir it is then" And that's how I got my name. For about thirty minutes we wrote back and forth for what seemed to be hours, until a "Watcher" (as I'd learned the men in the masks and varying white, black, maroon, and navy blue suits were called, tapped the shoulder of Amelia and then left holding his hand. As she left she turned to wave, It was then that the watcher that had brought me here grabbed me abruptly by my shirt and dragged me away. When I arrived in my room the watcher threw me onto my bed. I wasn't injured but it still hurt to breathe.. I laid on my cot for a while staring at the ceiling. For a few hours I sat there and reflected on my conversation with that girl. There was something about her that made me feel… excited. She had a curious energy about her. She was different from all the other people there who were rather plain and dull looking, she seemed like a bright star in the deep blue night sky. For another hour or so I sat there alone with my thoughts, the lack of movement felt awkward after being in the mess hall with all those other people. The more I thought about it the more my head started to ache. And soon my eyes started to water and I felt hot tears stream down my cheeks. I had conflicting feelings of frustration, joy, loneliness, and worst of all pity for myself. I still couldn't walk, I felt weak and helpless, I needed a watcher to help me get around, and I don't know who I am, how I got here, or what this place was. I was angry, and tired, slipping in and out of consciousness until I nodded off. And the following day I again woke to a steaming hot breakfast on the nightstand next to my cot. I made sure my pendant was still around my neck, and thankfully it still was. I then dug into the large breakfast spread, soon after I finished eating a Watcher entered my room. This time instead of lifting me by my shirt he picked me up like you would a baby and slung me over his back, and began walking. I then felt something in my head, it was like a warm buzzing in my brain. I tried focusing on it until I realized that the buzzing had meaning. "I can't wait to see you!" I had felt thoughts in my head that weren't mine "I have so many things to tell you about!" The voice echoed. I'd decided it was best to ignore it. To shorten a long story I was carried through several long hallways until the watcher dropped me off near Amelia and her watcher then. That gesture made me feel mildly uncomfortable but Ameila suddenly hugged me and my body felt a tingly warmth. I could feel the warm buzzing in my head again "I missed you". "What is that?" I thought. The buzzing stirred again "I wish you could hear me", I had chosen to ignore the sensation as my imagination. We wrote back and forth about the first impressions of our "accommodations". And as it would seem that she had been here for much longer than I had. Amelia's watcher tapped her on the shoulder. The black mask's deep blue markings started to glow, and the markings resembled a feather. I watched Ameila's face go from lively and enthusiastic, to serious and calculative. She then turned back to me and wrote "we need to pick our courses for this year". "What courses?" I wrote. She smiled with her eyes and wrote "We have classes from spring through autumn". "Wait, this place is a school?" I wrote quickly. She squinted at my writing and started tapping her pencil on the tabletop, and then wrote "Not exactly a school… more like a military academy" she paused while writing and then continued writing "Most of the students are orphans who were chosen for specific traits" she passed me the notebook "What kind of traits?" I asked, she shifted in her seat seemingly uncomfortable. "I'm sorry if that was a bad question" I scribbled. She read my apology and shook her head while smiling, and after a brief pause wrote "Don't apologize for being curious, it's alright". She shifted in her seat and wrote so quickly that the words seemed to appear before she even put the pen to paper. I waited for about 10 minutes until she finished. The page read "The traits they look for are all special, and unique. Speed, strength, and intellect of all levels are surpassed by these talents, it is said that these are abilities that are manifested in only in abandoned infants . . . Or so we thought until 1 year ago an extraordinarily gifted teen appeared, a few days after arriving they went into a coma. And as rumours have it they recently woke up. I have a feeling that whoever they are, might end up as a council member. The entire academy has been abuzz ever since the first condition of the Phoenix's prophecy came true". After I had finished reading, I blacked out. When I came to I noticed Amelia was gently slapping my face trying to wake me up. There was a comforting warmth under my head, it felt like a mothers warm embrace. At that moment I realized I was resting on her lap, my face flushed. I quickly sat up and felt a pang of pain rush through my skull, my head was about to explode. Amelia then brought my head back down to her thighs. The harsh pulsing in my head stopped, and I was once again greeted by the tingling sensation of . . . of . . . I don't remember . . . For what seemed like an eternity I laid on Amelia's lap until I eventually fell asleep. The next day I woke up and saw a fresh pair of clothes on the nightstand, and slid into the new set of black clothing. When I was finished changing my watcher walked in but his mask was glowing. The markings of his mask glowed a soft cyan and resembled a cobweb. The Watchers' shoulders rose and then sagged, as if he let out a large sigh. He seemed to slouch as he walked. He grabbed me, slung me over his shoulder and proceeded to lug me to the mess hall. We arrived and then deposited me next to Ameila, trudged away into a shaded corner, and sat down hugging his knees. "What happened to him?" Amelia scribbled on a notepad much bigger than the one she had yesterday. She passed it to me and I wrote "He's never said anything to me, I only met him a few days ago". "Interesting" She replied, after writing she paused briefly and started tapping her pen against the tabletop. There was a sort of rhythm to it. long tap, short tap, long tap, short, pause..., short long, long, short pause…, short, short, long, pause…, short, short, short, short, pause… short pause… short, long, pause… short, long, short then she repeated the sequence. I sat there watching her, the simple motions sent out vibrations through the table. Each tap was a syllable, tap tap tap… C, tap tap tap… A, tap tap… N, pause… Space, tap tap tap… U, pause… Space, tap tap tap tap… H, tap… E, tap tap… A, tap tap tap… R? "What does it mean I thought to myself" I had decided to close my eyes and put it together C, A, N, U, H, E, A, R… was it an acronym? No, too long. A name? But it doesn't have a meaning… maybe a question? C, A, N, can? U, you? H, E,A, R, hear? Can… you… hear…? I scribbled the question in the notebook quickly. And immediately after Amelia's face lit up. She drew a large smiley face on the paper she started tapping again. Long tap, short tap, long, long, pause… short, pause… short, short, short, my mind started translating before I could even finish thinking. Long, short, long, long… Y, short… E, short, short, short… S. That spelled yes?... Once again I transcripted what I saw onto the paper. Ameila seemed about to burst with excitement. I felt my own face move on its own, I touched my lips briefly. "Was I smiling?" I queried myself in my head "I haven't smiled once since I've gotten here". I shook my head before I could replay anything in my mind. "I'm making progress now, maybe that's good enough?"
And that was the first week in my new prison-like home.