"THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE"
The whole class went silent. My fingers tightened around my pen as I slowly stood up. I don't need to look up to know everyone is looking at me. I was waiting her to say something but she stays silent.
So, Gathering what little courage I had, I raised my head and looked at the teacher....
the disappoint in her eyes hurts more than anything she said.
"You scored this..?" She said quietly.
Her voice wasn't loud this time. It was worse... Soft, filled with disappointment. I feel bad for her... After all the efforts she had put into teaching me, I still couldn't score well. But what could I do? I had tried my best...and, still it wasn't enough like ALWAYS.
I opened my mouth to something... anything... But no words came out. My throat feel tight, like even my voice had given up on me. She gave me a look... One that said everything she didn't need to say. Disappointment, Frustration, And Maybe Regrets.
Then she handed me my paper. I looked down at it, my fingers trembling slightly.
Red Marks. Everywhere.
It felt like every mistake was screaming at me. And at the top..... My score.
Low enough to make that familiar feeling crawl back in...
Like I was never good enough.
Like no matter how I had tried... I'd always end up here.
"Sit down" just like that. No anger. No shouting. Somehow, that hurt even more. I quietly went back to my seat. The Whispers started almost instantly. Soft but loud enough for me to hear. They always were.
So I just sat there... Staring at my notebook, pretending to focus, pretending like none of it mattered.
Because honestly... I'm used to it by now.
Amid all the Whispers around me, I slowly drifted into my own thoughts. The voices faded into a distant blur as a familiar heaviness settled in my chest. It felt like I had been here my whole life....never good enough, never able to achieve anything.
Since childhood, it had always been the same story. No matter how hard I tried, I always fell short. A quiet voice in my head kept repeating the same painful question again and again... Will I ever able to achieve anything in my life?.... Or I was just...
meant to stay like this Forever?
"Stella... Stella..." my best friend's voice kept calling my name, but I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't hear her at first. It was only when she nudged me lightly that I blinked and looked up, still dazed. " Where are you lost?" she asked softly. I didn't respond... I was still trying to process everything, still stuck in that heavy feeling. Her gaze slowly dropped to the paper on my bench, and the moment she saw red marks and my score, her expression changed. The concern in her eyes softened into quiet pity, and somehow.... that hurt even more.
She looked at my expression and, knowing me well, understood everything without me saying a word. Quickly changing the topic, she smiled and said in excited tone, "Come on, let's go to canteen! It's lunch time... And I have some tea to spill about Mr. Kim." She was clearing trying to cheer me up, and I quietly went along with her.
On the way to canteen, she kept talking excitedly about how the "tea" was really hot this time, and I couldn't believe I was actually getting interested in it too.
Somehow, her excitement started to rub off on me, and I found myself a little curious.
She mentioned Mr. Kim... The chemistry teacher... and my curiousity grew even more. He didn't teach our class, but I heard plenty of rumours about him. People said he was mysterious and really strict. Just a man in his forties, a little older, not particularly good - looking.... yet somehow, there was something about him that made everyone talk.
We grabbed our lunches and found a quiet table where no one was paying attention to us. She glanced around once, making sure no one is listening, then leaned in slightly and said it was better this way... no one to overhear. But what we didn't know was... Someone was already listening to all of it.
She leaned in closer, her voice dropping to Whisper, her eyes scanning the area one more time before she spoke. " What I'm about to tell you... don't react loudly, okay?" she said, her tone suddenly serious. Then, without waiting, she continued, "Mr. Kim isn't just a teacher.... He's actually the real owner of this school."
For a second, I just stared at her, not sure if she was joking. But she looked completely serious.
"They say he's insanely rich," she went on, her voice filled with excitement, " like way richer than anyone here knows. And not just just that..... He's involved in some illegal buisness too. No one knows exactly what, but people say he's really shady."
I raised a eyebrow slightly, listening, but not fully convinced.
"And the reason he's works here as a teacher..." She leaned even closer, her voice barely audible now, "is to hide his identity.... from authorities." No wonder his students are failing in chemistry exam's, I thought.
I blinked, processing everything she just said. It sounded like something straight out of a movie. Still I couldn't deny.... I was invested in this.
But believe it? Not really.
She must have noticed my expression, because the moment our eyes met, her expression changed. A small smirk appeared on her face, like she had expected this reaction all along.
"Oh... you don't believe me ?" she said quietly.
There was a pause.
Then she leaned back slightly, her eyes glinting with something mysterious.
"Fine," she murmured, " then let me tell you something else...."
I gasped after listening, as it was something I wish I had never listened to. My mind kept warning me not to believe any word, telling me it was all just nonsense.... But my heart didn't listen. Somehow, it had already started believing it. And despite everything, a strange restless curiousity begun to grow inside me, pully me into something I didn't fully understand.
And maybe...
I should have listened to my mind.