I'm munching on a carrot.
I'm munching on a fucking carrot like a rabbit, a raw one. I don't really manage to break any pieces off, but I do manage to gnaw on it, and that's all I need to do to get those sweet sweet nutrients.
Don't blame me bro.
I can finally eat for myself, I'll gnaw on this carrot for years if it means I don't need to suffer through the humiliation of getting force-fed milk again.
As I do, I sit. Yes. Sit. I'm sitting, can you guess where? Not in my crib no, I'm on the table.
Well, not 'on' the table.
I'm on the chair in front of the table. The dining table we have in the middle of the living room.
Never passed a lot of time around it.
But now that I've shown my greed for food and everything that I can bite, my parents found it fit to start teaching me how to eat by myself.
I'm pretty sure I'm precocious as fuck but whatever.
I give a small glance to the left, at the less precocious baby named Siko, which is still here, in my HOME!
Banish her from here already please.
She's been here for a long time already. Like always, it's not the first time she came back, she visits like it's her second house or something.
Since the first time we met some months ago, she's been coming here every day or so. Not every every day, but a lot of days.
And that's something I noticed.
Why? because everytime she came, my parents shoved me with this finger eating demon as if we were a pair or something.
I don't know who she is, or what's her relationship with me, or who her mother is for my parents. But they clearly go along well.
Talking about the demon in baby form she's looking at me and dancing right now.
Which is really bad dancing. Of course.
But she is dancing.
Kind of, she tilts her dumb baby hips around and move her arms like a windmill, which would truly be adorable if not for the fact that I know for sure that she's imitating me right now.
I hate this pain too Kiko, no need to make me remember.
Pointedly, I decide to ignore her, just like I decide to ignore my mother fond laugh behind me. Yeah, she's behind me, so close in fact that it's quite uncomfortable.
Some months ago, I would have tried to escape from sitting on her lap in any way possible, whether it's by crying or doing some kind of kung fu, but now I'm too busy focusing on the small wins to care much.
Small wins that are gnawing on carrots.
Apparently a eight months old baby can't sit on an chair unsupervised.
Which is ridiculous to me.
But considering that my chin barely reach the table flat top...I kind of want to say that it's not that ridiculous.
I barely reach the top and that's while sitting on her lap. Damn I'm small.
One day I shall be big.
I squint down at the carrot and start gnawing on it, harder, I NEED CALORIES, LET ME GROW UP FASTER!
During my one man war against the carrot, I make sure to ignore the hug my mother gives me to keep me steady on her lap. And instead look around our little living room.
On my right, there's this weird kitchen, which is a mix of futuristic and poor. For example there's running water, I saw it, but there's no gas or anything for fire? So it's extra weird?
My mom usually burns something on a weird plate that's on the middle of the kitchen to cook the food. And when she's done, she smothers the fire with a weird towel.
And in the kitchen? There's my father, leaning on a counter with his arms crossed. He seems pretty serious, frowning while talking to Kiko's mother.
I can't hear what they're saying but it sounds like drama.
And drama isn't made for babies like me.
So I pointedly ignore it to look in front of me, it's a boring brown wall with no decoration, made of wood.
So I decide to look to my left instead, where the couch is. Kiko is sitting on a blanket, BEHIND the couch, not in front, she insisted that she wanted to be closer to me.
Something I would have loved to refuse.
But it's too late, and now she's staring at me, drawing some weird stuff on paper from my father paper stash while dancing.
STOP IMITATING ME!
I almost try to restrain the weird waves of movements happening throughout my body, something I'm now hyperaware of since I first noticed they existed.
But I stop
My mother is holding me right now, and even if she seems busy looking at my father and Kiko's mother, both talking in hushed tones, she could definetly feel me shake while I try to restrain the movements.
So instead I decide to ignore Kiko and look behind me.
Well, I try at least, but I'm kind of held by a woman that's one hundred time stronger than me against my will while I gnaw on a carrot, so the best I can do is imagine what's behind me.
There's the wall. Brown, and just in front of the door that leads into my own room, and my parents room, there's the couch. The side of the couch at least.
It's like perpendicular or something.
Damn I'm getting fucking bored already.
I'm so bored that I look at the ceiling, there's a weird lamp like thing attached in it, similar to what there was in my father weird room, and MY FUTURE BEEEEDROOM! Right now the lamp is off, we're still in the middle of the day.
....and...I finished looking at everything.
Fuck, what the-! My father comes back closer to the table, passing one hand through his black hair while the girl follows him.
She doesn't seems as...worried as him? Actually, she's less than worried, instead she directly rushes forward toward me to pinch my cheeks while I gnaw on the carrot
"Neeeeribe #&# #&# boooy"
LET ME GO WOMAN!
I try to run away from this pinching torture, my focus between the carrot in my hands, and trying to escape the deadly pinching hold.
But no matter how much I try, I don't manage to escape.
She's too strong.
Ah.
Life.
I continue to gnaw on my carrot and decide to ultilise one of my strongest technique to avoid affection.
I show absolutely no reaction, she pulls on my cheeks, pinch them, and I don't fucking care. I don't show any reaction and instead focus on my father talking to my mother.
"Neribe's big e&#-&#"
She answers him pretty fast "What &#& an&#?"
He sighs, just as I turn toward him. Wait he just said my name right now? What is he talking about? And why is he talking about me while looking depressed as fuck?
Wait wait wait, what's happening here?
They keep talking, my father first, and I strain my ears to understand "N&#& may&#? Dad, fi$2?"
What? Did he just talked about himself?
My mother answers fast too, at the same time she frees me and give me to Kiko's mother.
The second I'm free, kiko's mother directly pulls me up and start walking away while babying me, pulling on my cheek, poking it and all this shit. She does give a single glance back over her shoulder before speeding up as far away from my parents as possible.
WOMAN, WOMAN! WHERE ARE YOU GOING, THEY TALKING ABOUT ME HERE!
The last thing I hear before I'm too far away from them is my mother saying "Your dad, &# &#& &?"
And then I'm forced to focus on Kiko's mother hugging me and saying "Say auuuuunt"
I don't say aunt.
She says it again.
"Auuuuunt"
She pokes my fucking nose while I stare at her. A carrot in my mouth.
Wait she's my aunt?