OKAY! TUTO ON HOW TO ROLEPLAY AS LADY LUCK!
It's super easy you'll see!
First step! Be rich as fuck! The coins in my pockets clank against each other, this? This you hear? Is the sound of wealth.
I'm fithy rich. Losers.
SECOND! Figure out a way to launder money!
And the answer on how to do that is simple! It's like in real life! Do you know how those billionaires create associations and then donate a shit ton on money to them? Just for the association to secretly be under their control and then keep the full money they had all while dodging taxes?
Well! What I'm doing is pretty much the same!
My money is...well, my money. The taxes are the fact that a two years old with normal means SHOULDN'T be able to get that much money, and finally, my association is my mother.
...my mother who's a bit depressed today.
She's...a.
Really depressed.
I'm not inside the house yet. But I know very well what's waiting for me when I'll enter, I know it because I saw it this morning.
I'll see a girl. Blond hair. Brown eyes, a small and weak body with more bruises than usual, and a depressed head, forehead on the table, shoulders slouched like someone who just gave up on a life goal. A pure aura of depression emating from them while they lick the side of the bloody lips.
That's how my mother looked this morning.
So...worse than usual.
...last step of roleplaying as Lady luck.
Be cheerful.
With a huge bound, and a key in the door, I force the door open and scream like an excited dumb baby who's really really happy to see his mother and really really proud of something.
Overall, it comes out as the cute babbling of a two years old. I slam the door behind me as I see my mother jerking her head away from the table, straightening up, and pushing her long hair away from her face to look at me, her son "Wh-what?"
Finishing my ultimate cute acting 2000 thousand, I finish my cute little babbling by WILLINGLY limiting my way of running, and trying my best to look like a dumb little baby that's bad at running, spread my arms to the side for a big hug and let out multiples cute "mom"'s that cringes me from the depth of my soul.
"Nebe?" She sounds dead inside. But that's only at the start
"What's? Is everything fine?" The closer I get to her, with my arms spread open for a big hug, the more her voice tilts up to imitate mine. Less deep. Less deep. And with a tinge of hope and cuteness, mimicking mine, the same voice you would take when talking to, well, a baby.
As it finally clicks in her head, she gets on one knee, dropping from the chair to open her arms wide and receive my hug.
"Oomph, you're getting bigger nebe" a small depressed laugh reaches my ear, really close, as she embrace me, just like I do.
Feels weird.
Ignoring my feelings, I hug her harder, and she laughs again. She laughs like a traumatized kid that has just been handed the cutest puppy ever and the cuteness is now healing her soul.
I ignore the way she tightens her grip around me and keep hugging me tighter, her face digging in my shoulder, how she sniffles her nose. Nope, I just keep hugging her for a good while.
Finishing the first part of my plan as lady luck
Should I call myself gentleman luck?
I don't know, sounds a bit weird. Well, maybe it's original? Hmm, I don't know, and thankfully I have the time to ponder this kind of ridiculous question because I would like to think about something else and distract myself away from this hugging.
I like ignoring bad things.
Just like I would like to ignore the way my cute voice lets out the word "mommm" sounds really cute, really cute, in fact, it sounds too cute. And that's normal because it's practiced, it's a practiced voice with the goal to make me look as harmless and as cute as possible. It was a really useful skill when I didn't had my invisibility. It's the one I used to stop the bad glares of the villagers, and it's the one I used with Okari.
Nonetheless, I keep on hugging her. Until finally, the weird feeling in my chest gets too much and I pull away slightly to look at my mother "MOM!"
She looks left and right, her hands still around me. We're face to face as she's kneeling "Nebe"
"MOM!"
A hint of a smile spreads on the side of her face, even if it's confused "Nebe!"
I slide my hands up over her face and squish her cheeks to keep her staring at me "MOM!"
Finally, she screams back. But not before giving an instinctual look back toward her room, where my father usually sleep, however, I stop her from looking with my death grip, she could have shrugged it off, but she didn't.
"NEBE!"
"MOM!"
"NEBE!"
First step of the plan? Handled PERFECTLY!
Pulling away from my mother with a cute baby laugh, I free her cheeks and the weird feeling in my chest gets even weirder as I see her genuine smile spreading her busted lip.
"Look what I found!"
"You found something nebe?"
Without any hesitation, I dig inside my pockets and try harder than necessary. I huff out loud like a dumb kid, argh, I hate acting like that. But the way my mother smiles make me think it's a bit worth it, seeing dumb kids acting like dumb kids by doing dumb kids antics was a genre of video in my past life for a reason.
"Look!" Pushing my hands out of my side pocket, I scoop up a mix of bills and coins and hang them in front of my mother.
"MONEY!"
She stares at the money.
She doesn't talk.
She doesn't move.
Her eyes are focused on the money.
Her tongue comes out to lick her lips.
Her eyes come up for a second to look at my cute face before directly focusing back on the treasure I hold.
It's like an entire month of food girl. TAKE IT!
"That's...where...did you find that nebe?"
Her breathing quickens and I ignore this to sell out my lie, keeping a good hold on the money, I start walking around and gesturing while telling my story.
"THE BIG BOOM!"
"The big..." Her eyes widen.
And her eyes soften as I continue.
"It was beautiful! And like! Everyone thought too, so nobody cared about money, they let it fall EVERYWHERE! And one time! Hatomo told me!"
I cough, taking a deeper voice "Listen youngling! You shall know! As everyone should know! And...uh, complicated words and...uh"
I hear a snicker at my right but don't stop, no, boosting my enthusiasm, money still in my hands, I continue my lie.
"Somethingsomething! And then! He said that! That! Money on the ground is money donated! Then he laughed and said something about the ecomomi? Economic?"
"And I ate the cake while giving his wife a side eye! But! I remembered the essential!"
I turn around and hand her the money "Donated money! For you!"
Her smile slowly drops down as I finish my story, even if it's still there, just smaller than before. Finger pointing at herself "for me?"
"For mom!"
She looks around one time and slide closer to me, one of her hand resting on my shoulder as she whispers to me.
"You can't say you found that to papa alright?"
"Papa's UGLY!" She snorts out loud and lean forward as if I punched her guts "I WON'T TELL PAPA!"
"Okay, okay." Her hand rubs my shoulder probably to reassure herself, then she continues, "that's a secret then"
I nod at her, two big times. "Secret! Only between us!"
"Right... Right." She pushes her hand closer to me...slowly, slooooowly, I feel like I'm catching a fish. Then she closes both of my hands around the money.
"Be a dear, keep that well hidden and get yourself some food whenever you want alright?"
FUCKING HELL WOMAN ARE YOU DEFT!
I almost want to slap the fuck out of her but I restrain myself, improvising.
"No! You take it!"
"Nebe...don't be"
I push the money harder into her hands "I don't like buying snacks, the people are ugly and your food's better"
"Nebe you...can't just"
HARRDEEEEEER! TAKE IT WOMAN!
"And they're making me pay more than the old lady!"
"They did what!?"
I push all the money in her hands, which are now slack, but tighten quick enough when she realizes I'm shoving a shit ton of money in her hands. Then I take more from my pockets and give her more, and more, and more, and her eyes widen like some kind of fish
"I want STEW again!" Frozen, she can't answer, nonetheless I get closer to hug her "Thanks mom! Hide it from papa, secret for us!"
Then I pull back and skip toward my room, and get the fuck in before I can hear her reaction.
Ah!
One more day as lady luck passed perfectly!
I make a really good job as a god!