Kōichi watched Kazuma, who looked like his soul had left his body, squatting on the ground and drawing circles with a twig. Out of the corner of his eye, he also caught sight of that big tree not far away. Behind it, Megumin's oversized pointed hat was bobbing up and down as she nervously peeked out.
The genius Crimson Demon girl was clearly trapped in a private spiral of "Crap, did I go too far?" Her crimson eyes were full of uncertainty, but that damned Crimson Demon pride kept her stubbornly glued in place.
Kōichi let out a sigh. As the only emotional mentor in this party, sadist edition, he figured that if he did not give these two a push, this farce would probably drag on until morning.
A wicked smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. Deliberately raising his voice, he said to Kazuma in a tone full of regret and sympathy,
"Man, Kazuma, don't take it so hard. Sure, Megumin fired you, but look on the bright side. This is actually a good thing. Just think about it. From now on, you won't have to haul that ridiculously heavy former master of yours around for miles every day after she blows something up and turns into dead weight. Your back is saved, and you'll even have plenty of free time to hit on other cute adventurer girls. I heard the Guild recently got a few assassin ladies with amazing figures. Want your big bro to take you over there tonight so you can broaden your horizons?"
Kazuma, still crouched on the ground, froze for a second. He had not yet realized Kōichi was teeing things up for him, and was just about to grumble along with the joke when Kōichi suddenly shifted tone and grew more serious.
"But honestly, Megumin's got it rough too. With that personality of hers, aside from a guy like you, patient and shameless, who else could really put up with her blow-something-up-every-day habit? Now that you've been fired, next time she runs out of mana and collapses somewhere in the wilderness, she'll probably just have to fend for herself. Or wait around to get picked up by some passing half-orc. Tsk tsk. What a sad fate. A genius mage, only to end up as monster chow because there's no one left to carry her..."
"W-who's going to end up as monster chow?!"
Right on cue, accompanied by a shriek full of wounded pride and embarrassment, Megumin finally could not take it anymore and shot out from behind the tree like a red cannonball.
Face flushed bright red, she stormed up waving her staff, full of bluster. But she still would not quite meet Kazuma's eyes.
"Kōichi! Stop spouting nonsense! I am Megumin! The greatest genius of the Crimson Demons! There is no way I would ever get eaten by some low-level monster... ngh, ngh!"
She stole a glance at Kazuma, saw him staring at her blankly, then hurriedly coughed and forced a stern expression back onto her face.
"Anyway... Kazuma! I have given that dismissal from earlier some careful thought, and as one of the Crimson Demon Clan's elite, I should not cast aside a subordinate over such a trivial act of foolishness. So... so I have decided to grant you one chance to remain on probation! If you apologize to me sincerely right now, and promise never to interfere with my chanting again, then I will reluctantly permit you to continue bearing my glory!"
Looking at Megumin's thoroughly tsundere performance, so obviously full of regret and yet still trying to act like she was doing him a favor, the last of Kazuma's grievance evaporated on the spot.
He stood up, dusted off his backside, and gave her that infuriating grin of his.
"Hah? Apologize? You're the one who smacked me with your staff first. But whatever. Since you're begging me so hard, I guess I can magnanimously continue being your follower. After all, without me, a brat like you who can't do anything except Explosion Magic would have a pretty hard time surviving in Axel."
"Who are you calling a brat?! You sadist Kazuma! Apologize! Apologize to me right now!"
Watching the two slide right back into their usual bickering routine, Kōichi took a satisfied step back, quietly taking the credit without the fame.
At that moment, Darkness, who had been observing from the side the whole time, drifted over with a strange kind of reverence shining in her eyes.
"Kōichi-sama... the way you manipulated their hearts just now was exquisite. That feeling of playing with people in the palm of your hand. If you used that on me... ah, just thinking about it, I might..."
"Go back over there and keep carrying your basket," Kōichi said flatly, pointing toward the stable.
In the days that followed, mornings in Axel always began with a rhythm so regular it was almost unnerving.
Not long after sunrise each day, Kōichi would see Satou Kazuma trudging toward the outskirts with a tragic, doomed look on his face, carrying that small girl with the oversized staff and absurdly exaggerated pointed hat on his back, stumbling one heavy step after another.
Meanwhile, perched on Kazuma's back, Megumin excitedly waved her hand about like a commander surveying the realm, as if she were not on her way to cast a single spell and immediately collapse, but a queen marching off to conquer the world.
"Hey, Kazuma! Today's wind is perfect for the spread of my Explosion Magic! I can already feel it. Above that abandoned castle, the mana is cheering like boiling magma!" Megumin pumped her little fist excitedly from atop his back.
"Yeah, yeah, the mana's cheering, and my spine is giving its final death rattle too." Kazuma rolled his eyes. For all his loud complaints, though, his steps were steady as ever. When he passed by Kōichi, he even shot him a slightly smug look. "See that, Kōichi? This is what professional dedication from a follower looks like. Sure, this brat insists on blowing up that deserted dump of a castle every single day, but seeing how fired up she is, I guess I can reluctantly humor her."
Leaning against the city gate with a freshly bought grilled frog skewer in hand, Kōichi lazily watched the explosive duo head off into the distance.
"Yeah, yeah, off you go. Just bring back some wild vegetables on the way home. We need to save money for that mansion," Kōichi replied offhandedly.
To be honest, Kōichi had never been especially interested in that abandoned castle.
As far as he was concerned, it was just a spot on the map Megumin used to grind her daily routine, even if there was no actual experience to gain.
Who would want to live in some gloomy ruin like that, a place so run-down it probably did not even have a toilet?
So for the next five days, at the same fixed time every afternoon, the people of Axel would hear a deafening roar from the distance.
"Explosion—!!!"
Then the earth would shake, and a giant mushroom cloud would slowly rise on the far horizon.
Over those few days, Kōichi lived an unusually comfortable life.
With Megumin's noise and Kazuma's snark gone, he began conducting targeted training with the two remaining "problem children."
"Kōichi-sama! Look! I've already run twenty laps around Axel while carrying Aqua!" Darkness came rushing up to him, panting hard. Her armor was covered in mud, but her valiant face was full of a distinctly unhealthy satisfaction. "This heavy burden... this humiliation of being worked like a beast of labor... ah, I can feel my defense rising again!"
Meanwhile, sitting in Darkness's basket, Aqua wore an expression of total spiritual death. Limply waving a cat teaser in one hand, she groaned, "Kōichi... when is this 'Goddess Heavy Load Training' supposed to end? I feel like Darkness is about to shake me into hallucinations. Why do I have to indulge this perverted knight's kink? I want to go blow up castles too! I want to cause destruction too!"
Kōichi calmly took a sip of tea. "No need to rush, Aqua. This is to help you develop the fortitude to... well, to keep from bursting into tears even in the harshest conditions when facing future battles. And by the way, if you complain again, I'll have Darkness carry you around the city's filthy drainage ditches for two more laps."
Aqua fell silent instantly, meek as a quail.
What none of them knew, however, was that deep inside that abandoned castle, which Megumin had been bombing for five straight days, a Demon King's Army General, one who had originally been in standby mode, had a strict personality, and was catastrophically unlucky, the Dullahan Beldia, was sitting on his throne, now cracked all over from the constant shaking, and sinking into profound self-doubt.
All he had wanted was to slack off in peace here while casually keeping an eye on the rookie town.
So why was there some lunatic woman setting off fireworks on his roof at the exact same time every single day?!
And not just any fireworks, but Explosion Magic so absurdly powerful it nearly blasted his skullcap clean off?!