As the sun set, golden afterglow spilled across the winding merchant road. It should have been a peaceful, beautiful scene.
However, on top of the carriage carrying Kōichi and his party, an extremely bizarre and strangely philosophical sight had taken shape.
After that horrific battle to defend their chastity, though in the end, there had not been much left to defend, Kazuma Satou and Dust, Axel's pair of unlucky brothers-in-arms, had developed a severe stress response toward any living thing that tried to approach them from behind.
"Stay away from me! Don't stand behind me! Not even Wiz! Who knows if those Orcs might suddenly pop out of thin air!!"
Kazuma shrieked like a startled wildcat, refusing no matter what to climb into the carriage. He would not even sit in the driver's seat at the front, because that would put the carriage behind him.
Dust was in even worse shape. Now, whenever he heard a snort, even if it was just a horse blowing through its nose, he would be so terrified he performed a standing backflip on the spot.
So, after Kōichi's wickedly practical arrangements, the two unlucky men ended up choosing the strangest possible riding posture. They sat facing each other, cross-legged on the wooden roof of the carriage like a pair of guardian statues. Their knees pressed together, both hands clamped tightly onto the edge of the roof, and four eyes widened like brass bells as they stared unblinkingly behind each other.
"Hey, Dust... if you see any pink skin or furry pig ears in the bushes, make sure you drag me off the carriage with you right away..." Kazuma's voice was hoarse, his eyes carrying the dead stillness of a man who had seen through all worldly things.
"...Shut up, Kazuma. You keep watch too. If anything that looks like a female Orc shows up behind me, just punch me out on the spot... I don't want to go through that hell again while I'm awake..."
Dust answered bitterly. On the swaying carriage roof, the two of them had somehow formed a strange understanding that seemed to transcend life and death.
Inside the carriage, Kōichi toyed with the bottle of sparkling wine he had stolen back, listening to the wooden boards creak above his head.
"Well, would you look at that. What a lovely view." Kōichi leaned back against the soft cushion, casually shoving Aqua aside when she tried to squeeze closer. "Look at them. Don't they seem like they're performing some sacred religious ceremony? Something like the final vigil of a virgin soul?"
"Kōichi! How can you still joke about this?! Give me my wine back already!" Aqua sprawled across the seat, staring at the bottle with the pitiful eyes of a begging puppy. "And with Kazuma and Dust sitting like that, if we go through a tunnel or hit a low-hanging branch, they'll definitely get swept off, right? This Goddess is not going to pick them up when that happens!"
"Um, Kōichi-san." Wiz anxiously twisted her fingers together. "I really want to comfort them, but earlier, when I just tried to hand Kazuma-san a handkerchief, he nearly buried me with earth magic... Are they really all right mentally?"
"They'll be fine, Wiz." Megumin hugged her staff and rested with her eyes closed, looking perfectly calm. "Men are creatures who will revive on the spot in a few days as long as they see a pretty signboard girl, provided they aren't dead. More importantly, I'm curious about that proposal nose ring the Orc Queen mentioned earlier. If we brought it back to the Crimson Demon Village for research, we might be able to develop a new sealing spell..."
"...Sob... I want to... I want to sit on the roof too..." Darkness sat in a corner, arms crossed over her chest, her body trembling slightly from some indescribable fantasy. "Shivering in the cold wind, constantly worrying about being attacked from behind by Monsters, while my companions stare at me like I'm garbage... That all-encompassing humiliation is simply... simply too extravagant!!"
Kōichi looked at the carriage full of problem children, then listened to the miserable cries of the two useless men above his head and sighed helplessly.
"All right, everyone, hold on tight! We're speeding through the rest of this forest. Aqua, tone down your Goddess aura. Stop attracting weird things!"
"Who are you saying has a weird aura?! This Goddess's aura is sacred and full of sweet fragrance... Ow! Kōichi, stop pushing me! The wine! The wine's going to spill!!"
When the last glow of sunset vanished beyond the horizon, a magnificent city surrounded by mountains and wreathed in misty vapor finally appeared before them.
That was the legendary City of Water, Arcanletia.
Before they had even entered the city, the air was already filled with a faint sulfurous smell and a certain... unsettling fervor.
The carriage slowly rolled toward the city gate, while the two stone statues on the roof maintained their knee-to-knee, bloodshot staring posture.
"Hey, Kazuma, we're here. Time to come down." Kōichi lifted the carriage curtain and patted the roof.
"...No, Kōichi. Unless you can guarantee there are no Orcs in this city, I plan to spend the rest of my life living on this roof."
Kazuma Satou's tone was terrifyingly calm. His knuckles had gone white from gripping the edge too hard.
"M-Me too... I think the roof is pretty nice. Great view, and there's only wood behind me, so it's very safe..."
Dust shakily agreed. The two of them seemed to have evolved into some sort of fixed carriage attachment.
Kōichi shook his head, then turned to look at the others inside the carriage.
At that moment, Aqua was pressed against the window, her eyes shining with blue light bright enough to rival a searchlight, and emotional tears practically spilling from the corners of her mouth.
"Oooooh! This feeling! This scent of faith and pure water! This Goddess has finally returned! Do you see that? Those fountains! Those statues! The people there must all be longing for my arrival! Hahahaha! Kōichi! Hurry up and give me that bottle of wine back. I'm going to show my followers what a miracle looks like, and maybe get some snacks to go with it!"
Aqua was so excited she looked ready to break into Nature's Beauty on the spot. That homecoming high gave Kōichi goosebumps. Sitting across from her, however, Megumin was in the exact opposite state.
The genius girl of the Crimson Demon Clan was huddled in the corner, gripping her staff tightly with both hands, her hood pulled low. Her body trembled faintly, and her eyes held the terrified look of someone who wanted to explode on the spot immediately.
"...Kōichi, listen to me. We can still turn around and go back to Axel right now." Megumin lowered her voice, her tone deadly serious. "The air here is wrong. It's full of some kind of... some kind of virus that rapidly lowers people's intelligence."
"...Megumin, I also think the believers here are a little too enthusiastic, but surely it isn't that bad?" Yunyun tried to comfort her, but she clearly had not noticed that several believers in blue-and-white robes near the city gate had already locked onto this luxurious-looking carriage.
"Hehe, welcome to the City of Water! Travelers from afar!"
Before the carriage had even come to a full stop, a middle-aged man with an honest-looking face and an inexplicably feverish aura accurately lunged up to the carriage window, waving a flyer that smelled of soap.
"You all look exhausted. You must be suffering under the curse of an evil Devil, right? Don't worry! As long as you sign this application form, not only will your sins be washed clean, but you'll also receive one bar of hot spring soap specially made by the Axis Cult! By the way, if you join, you can also enjoy a virtual bathing experience with Goddess Aqua-sama's statue! How about it? Sign here? If you don't, I'll follow you all the way to your inn!"
"Aaaah!! It appeared!" Megumin screamed.
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