From a distance, attention appears lovely.
When looking in closely,
it can feel like a chore.
Charlotte Vale rested her chin lightly on her hand, as she created all the noise around her.
Someone was laughing in the back of the room.
Someone else was fighting about their homework.
All those sounds blended to make something that Charlotte had heard many times before.
A normal sound.
And yet,
Charlotte still felt as if she did not belong.
"You are spacing out again," Ava said, as she gently poked Charlotte's shoulder.
Charlotte took a beat and blinked. "…Am I?"
"A little."
Ava looked at Charlotte for a moment. "Are you okay?"
Charlotte gave a small nod without even thinking about it.
The type of nod one gives out of habit.
"I'm fine."
Technically speaking, it was a lie.
But it was also not a full truth.
Because everything has exhausted Charlotte lately.
School.
Classes.
People.
All the constant conversations.
All the constant attention.
All the constant expectations.
"You should come this weekend," Mia said from across the desk. "Everyone is going."
Charlotte smiled politely as she responded, "I will think about it."
"You always say that."
"Because I need time to actually think," Charlotte softly replied.
Mia laughed.
Ava smiled briefly.
And the conversation continued.
Again, Charlotte's gaze strayed.
To the window.
To the back rows.
To someone who—
has been different lately.
Loid Ainsworth.
She noticed.
It was gradual.
Not all at once.
Not dramatic.
Simply… little things.
He had begun to raise his hand more.
To contribute more.
To stay after class sometimes.
His demeanor had changed.
He still had his quiet and reserved nature—but was now less distant from all of those around him.
"…You've been looking back there a lot lately."
Charlotte turned her attention back to the front of the room.
Ava smiled at her.
"I'm not."
"Mhm."
Charlotte chose to ignore her.
Internally—
Charlotte took a moment to think.
Because Ava was certainly correct.
And Charlotte didn't entirely understand why.
Charlotte didn't get to think much more before an empty chair dragged loudly beside Charlotte.
Shaw Donovan sat beside Charlotte without her permission.
"Morning."
As soon as Shaw sat down, Ava's expression changed ever so slightly.
Mia quickly looked away.
Charlotte remained calm.
"Morning," Charlotte said politely.
Shaw leaned back in his chair comfortably, as if each chair he sat in belonged to him.
"So are you coming this weekend?" Shaw asked.
Charlotte knew what he meant.
The party.
The party everyone had been talking about.
"I don't know yet."
"You should," Shaw said carelessly. "It will be boring without you."
Shaw's manner of speaking was always like this.
Very laid back.
Overly sure of himself.
As if others were entitled to pay him attention.
Even worse than that—
Though he received it from most of the people he spoke to.
"What are you overthinking again?" Shaw asked of Charlotte.
Charlotte simply stared, blinking like an owl looks at a cow.
"…What do you mean?"
"You have that look sometimes," he continued. "Like your head is somewhere else."
Ava shifted closer to Charlotte in her seat.
Charlotte caught sight of it.
Of course, she did.
"…I'm only tired," Charlotte replied, growing a little tired of Shaw's ego.
Shaw gave a small smirk.
"Relax," he instructed.
All of those were pretty simple words.
Pretty common words.
These did hold a certain amount of irritation for Charlotte.
Not because they were offensive.
But because they were all shallow.
The school bell rang almost immediately after.
Most of the students returned to their seats.
Shaw slowly stood; looked down at Charlotte; and said to think about Saturday before he walked away.
The second he left Charlotte's ability to breathe shrank.
Ava was quick to notice Charlotte's exhalation immediately after Shaw left.
"You don't like him."
Charlotte hesitated.
"…Not a bad guy."
"That's not what I asked."
Charlotte looked down at her notebook.
Negative.
He was not someone she found herself attracted to.
Not even close.
There was just something off about him to her.
Something way too loud.
Something too pushy.
Like every single thing he did between them was meant to draw attention to him.
Now this kind of personality drained her.
As class started.
She looked back briefly around the whole room.
Loid was close to a window, listening while Julian was talking.
Jay was running his mouth like always; he was TALKING too much.
Loid had actually smiled at one of Jay's comments.
Very little.
Real quick.
But you could see it.
Charlotte looked away again so nobody would see.
"…Weird," she thought to herself.
Next to Shaw's loud self-assuredness, Loid had a presence of calmness that was somewhat…safe.
And so far, Charlotte did not know what to think about that sensation.