"No... It's nothing! Aunt, I just accidentally knocked over the chair, I'm fine." Peter glared at Deadpool, suddenly appearing in someone else's house, behind someone else, doesn't he know that scaring people might scare them to death?
Did Deadpool actually take a bath today? He didn't have his usual body odor? No wonder Peter didn't notice at all.
Smart Aunt May didn't give up, she twisted the door handle, but because Peter was online consulting about his aunt being harassed, naturally, he had locked the door, otherwise how awkward would it be if she sees it?
However, the locked door made Aunt May suspicious: "Open the door, Peter."
Peter knew these two must have come in through the window, so he immediately went to support the window to let them out, but his hand slipped in his nervousness, and the window fell shut and couldn't be opened.
Seeing their escape route blocked, Peter then pushed Deadpool and Deathstroke, pointing under the bed, after all, Aunt May actually disliked Deadpool the most, not Iron Man.
Deadpool lifted the bed sheet, but under the bed was a mess of junk, boxes filled with electronic parts and such, there was no room for two people to hide.
Peter clicked his tongue and pushed the two towards the closet, but when he opened it, it was also filled with trash.
"Peter? Are you up to no good? Open the door now." Aunt May pressed her ear against the door to listen.
"Coming." Peter then pushed the two into the bathroom, but unfortunately, there was a bicycle in the bathtub for some reason, still no place to hide.
At this moment, Aunt May already used a key to open the door and walked in, Peter quickly half-stepped out, leaning against the bathroom door frame, striking a pose he thought looked natural.
"Aunt, I told you I'm fine."
While smiling at his aunt, Peter was also pushing Deadpool to make sure he hid well.
Deadpool, sensitive from the new self-healed skin, felt ticklish being touched, twisting and turning, which made Peter worry Deadpool might jump out and greet May, so his push became more frequent.
Aunt May squinted her eyes, looking at the dark computer screen, touched the monitor, finding it slightly warm.
Then she looked at Peter standing at the bathroom door, his expression unnatural, using the frame to hide his lower half, shoulders constantly moving as if he was shaking something into the toilet.
She understood.
Her face flushed, then she shook her head, sighed: "You're growing up, Peter, but you need to be moderate, okay? I'll be going, clean up by yourself."
Peter: "???"
"It's all due to puberty hormones, my education isn't a failure, it's all the hormones' fault..." Not waiting for Peter to say anything, Aunt May was mumbling to herself, turned and went downstairs.
Of course, being attentive, she didn't forget to close the door.
Peter walked out of the bathroom like a deflated ball, collapsed onto his bed, looking despondent, and after a while, he suddenly jumped up, pointing at Deadpool, starting to quietly rant.
"It's all your fault! What are you doing suddenly showing up at my house? It's Christmas Eve, couldn't you give me a break? Now my aunt misunderstood, she probably thinks I was... I was..."
Mid-sentence, Little Peter's face turned red, he couldn't quite say the word, but his eyes widened as if he wanted to eat Deadpool alive.
Nonchalantly, Deadpool raised both hands, danced a lively samba out of the bathroom, and plopped himself onto Peter's bed, neither of them seemed to mind each other's presence.
Lying there, Deadpool crossed his legs, placing his hands behind his head: "She just thought you were playing with a 'Magic Staff', so what? I know you're seventeen and still a virgin, but your girlfriend Michelle Jones shouldn't have existed in the first place, she's an additional character assigned to you by editors from the MCU, do you get what I'm saying? Yes, you're destined to remain a virgin for a few more years."
"What nonsense are you talking? See if I don't rip your mouth apart, MJ is a good girl, I never thought of doing such things with her, don't you dare say that about her." Face red, Peter jumped onto Deadpool, starting a playful brawl.
Actually, Peter was gentle; when calm, Spider Hero's arm strength was around 20 tons, and it would multiply in emotional outbursts, capable of stopping trains and lifting airplanes, much stronger than Deadpool.
But now the two were rolling on the bed, no one got hurt.
Deadpool was punching Peter's little fists while keeping his mouth busy: "MJ is fine, but it shouldn't be Michelle Jones, nor should it be Michael Jackson, it should be Mary Jane. You know, I almost puked when I heard your girlfriend was Michelle? I thought you were dating the former Secretary of State."
"You're still talking? Take this move, Monkey Stealing Peaches! I don't know this Mary Jane, it's definitely a fake name you made up to mock me, now see this move, Crow Flying! Spider Yo-yo! Full Bloom Family Bucket!"
Little Spider's banter was not outdone by Deadpool's, and with strength on his side, quickly gave Deadpool a string of combos with his hands.
"Ah!!!"
Deadpool let out a scream, but he would not admit defeat, losing to such a kid, how could he face his cousin?
"Impressive, but I'm going to counterattack now, I bet you've never heard of my techniques!" Deadpool forcibly broke his own wrist, escaping Spider Hero's hold: "Wood Leaf Secret Technique, Thousand-Year Kill! North Star Fresh! One Hundred Thousand Volts!"
"Ah!!!" Spider Hero also screamed, shivering and saying: "You actually used a Taser gun and threw snowballs into my suit? You're cheating!"
Finishing, Peter knocked the Taser out of Deadpool's hand, turned him over and gave his tushy a drumming-like smacking.
As the sound of squeaking occurred...
At this moment, Peter's bedroom door slowly opened, outside stood Aunt May with her eyes glazed over, her expression lifeless, holding the half-finished drink from dinner.
She came to give Peter a drink, thinking he might be willing to talk about earlier once everything was cleaned up. Unexpectedly, opening the door revealed such a chaotic scene, leaving her somewhat brain-dead.
The two on the bed frozen in place, their heads slowly turning towards the door like rusted screws.
"Aunt, it's not what you think, I can explain..." Peter quickly jumped up, pulling up his pants that had been loosened by Deadpool.
May took a deep breath, her face revealing a dark smile: "Peter, and Mr. Deadpool, why don't you both come downstairs to the living room for a chat?"
Deadpool also stood up, tightening his belt: "Lady Parker, I think there might be some misunderstanding?"
"Now!" May sternly uttered, staring at him intensely.
"Cousin?"
In his heart, Deadpool silently screamed for Su Ming's help, hoping not to be misunderstood as gay, since Peter was too friendly, often making Spider Hero appear the most gay.
But all he saw was the black-and-yellow one-eyed mask slowly retracting behind the bathroom door...