As Enel left, Sandy couldn't help but ask, "Luffy, where's Chopper? Wasn't he with you guys?"
Luffy pouted. "Chopper? We got separated. It's all Zoro's fault! We should've gone south, where it's warm, but he went towards the cold place…"
Zoro snapped, "It's because you, you idiot, were messing around that we all got separated!"
Just as Sandy was about to argue with them, Ohm—who was standing on the high platform—sat down and suddenly burst into tears.
"My name is Ohm… please be quiet for a moment."
Everyone stared at him in confusion.
Ohm sobbed, "I am grieving for the fragility of humanity. Knowing that life is unpredictable, why do humans still fight to the death?"
"Huh?" Everyone was dumbfounded. Wasn't this guy an enemy?
Luffy tilted his head. "So he's a good guy!"
"What a joke!" Wiper grumbled, aiming his bazooka at Ohm—until Raki quickly pulled him back.
But Ohm didn't care and continued dramatically, "Born for happiness, fighting to the death to obtain happiness… If that's the case, wouldn't it be better to do nothing from the beginning?
This is the root of human inferiority. Pathetic. But there is a way to save them—everyone should simply die."
"Holy crap!!" Sandy shouted. "Did this guy get his head slammed by a door on the way here?"
Zoro stroked his chin. "If Chopper were here and gave him some medicine, I wonder if he'd get better."
Luffy answered honestly, "Probably not."
Wiper's expression darkened, veins pulsing on his forehead.
Ohm finally stopped crying and asked, "What exactly are you doing here?"
"Ah." Luffy grinned. "We're just here to find gold."
Ohm replied immediately, "Desire creates war. So let me save you."
He stood, drew his white sword, and continued, "If you die, you won't have to do anything. You won't have any desires—"
Pia—
Everyone froze.
Sandy had taken off his slipper and thrown it directly at Ohm's face.
Sandy pointed at him angrily. "Which mental hospital did you escape from, you psycho?"
"B-Bastard!" Ohm wailed. "It stinks!"
"Oh, I just stepped in something the dog next to you left behind," Sandy replied casually.
Ohm's face turned pitch-black. A God's Enforcer—second only to Enel—reduced to being hit with a smelly slipper?!
"DAMN YOU!"
As Ohm lunged, Zoro quickly said, "Wait! Sandy! He uses a sword. Leave him to me!"
"Why?!" Sandy and Luffy responded in unison.
Sandy pointed angrily. "That guy's been spouting idiotic nonsense since the start. I've been annoyed with him for a long time. No way I'm giving him to you!"
Luffy insisted, "I'm the Captain! He should be mine!"
"What was that?!" Sandy and Zoro shouted together.
The three glared at each other.
"Rock, paper, scissors! Rock, paper, scissors!"
Wiper growled, "You don't need to choose, Blue Sea people. I'll take care of all of you!"
Ohm snarled as well, "I'm going to kill you bastards!"
Meanwhile, he was completely confused. He had Observation Haki—so how did that slipper hit him? It appeared instantly!
Of course, Sandy had secretly opened a Space Field. Of course Ohm couldn't sense it.
Raki quickly held Wiper back. "Calm down! They aren't enemies! That man saved Aisa!"
Gan Fall nodded. "I can testify to that."
Wiper clicked his tongue. "Fine. After I kill Enel, I'll deal with you."
Gan Fall shrugged. "Whatever. I'm also here to find Enel."
Finally, Sandy, Luffy, and Zoro finished their battle.
Zoro won.
Sandy sighed. Why didn't I use Observation Haki to cheat?!
"Luffy, since Zoro's fighting him, how about we make barbecue?" Sandy suggested.
"Barbecue?" Luffy's eyes sparkled. "Do you have meat?"
Space Swap—
A giant dog head flew into the air. Sandy had just sliced Ohm's pet "Holy" in one clean motion.
Everyone froze, stunned beyond words.
"GRAAAH!" Ohm screamed, watching Sandy prepare his beloved dog's corpse like a seasoned chef.
Smelling the scent again, Ohm immediately slashed at Sandy, but Sandy and Luffy ignored him completely.
Gan Fall shouted, "BE CAREFUL!"
Clang—
Zoro blocked the "Cloud Sword."
He tied his bandana onto his head and pointed a sword at Ohm. "I told you—your opponent is me."
Then he called out, "Sandy! Save me a piece of meat! Don't let Luffy eat it all!"
"Relax," Sandy said. "I don't know what's wrong with this rubber bastard. He eats all day long. No wonder we're always broke."
Luffy laughed. "Hehehe… I'm that amazing, huh?"
Ignoring him, Sandy looked at Wiper and Raki. "You two want some? Maybe calm down for once?"
Wiper glared so hard his face cramped.
Sandy hummed loudly, "The third verse! The island to the east, the sun is bright. Dog meat is delicious, everyone gets a share."
"Oh!" Luffy added, "The fourth verse—"
CLANG—
A slash flew at them, but Sandy casually parried it with a branch.
Sandy clicked his tongue. "Zoro, seriously? This opponent sucks. You're not letting him cut us down so you can hog the dog meat, right?"
"NANI?!" Luffy exploded. "Zoro, you're too despicable!"
Zoro almost fainted from sheer anger. He steadied himself, bit the Wado Ichimonji, and declared.
"Your opponent is me…"
"One life, 36 worries.
Two lives, 72 worries.
Three lives, 108 worries!"
"Three-Sword Style: 108 Pound Phoenix!!"
CLAAAAANG—
Zoro's technique shattered the Cloud Sword and blasted Ohm off the platform entirely.
Ohm was defeated instantly.
...
Author's Note:
The fanfic One Piece: My Flirtatious System Adventure is now fully completed.
The entire story has been uploaded on Patreon as a dedicated collection.
📚 Category: One Piece (Chapters 1–657)
One complete 18+ novel has been uploaded on Patreon, guaranteed to give you an intense and thrilling experience.
🔥 I also have an Additional 18+ fanfics now available for readers who enjoy exclusive mature stories. 😉
1.Dragon Ball: Oolong's Sex Adventure
2. Elements of Lust – ATLA & Korra Mixed Smut
3. Doraemon: Filtering with Nobi Tamako
4. The Naive Me Who Became Someone's Everyday Secret
5. High School DxD: Rias Gremory, the Phenex Bride
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