Mei POV
*click*
I unlocked the front door and stepped inside. It was around 8:00. The moment I crossed the threshold, I was swallowed by a darkness far deeper than the veil of night outside.
Everything was completely black, almost like I'd stepped into a pitch-black cube with nothing in it. Any normal person would've gotten lost, but I navigated through it with ease.
In the depths of the darkness glowed a small ray of light—the screen of my phone. The darkness seemed to shudder from the light, but I didn't pay it any mind.
Even as I slid off my shoes and entered the living room, I never took my gaze off the screen.
My phone buzzed, and a new message came. It was a text from Hoshino.
My thumbs flew across the screen, typing out my reply.
Even though I had been with him for the past hour, and it hadn't been ten minutes since we parted, we kept talking.
None of it was serious—just minor things like 'are you home yet?' or 'what do you plan to do when you get home?'. Still, even if it was just a formality, a foreign sense of warmth spread through me with every interaction.
I had offered to drive him home, but he insisted on walking, which was fair. I could understand that he didn't want to burden people. But still…
...Why did you have to say no?
I gripped my phone tightly and held it close to my chest. The warmth burned even stronger, as if it might burst out of me.
I want to see you again…
It was weird. I'd never experienced this kind of feeling for someone else before, and I never even cared for it until now.
It was warm. It was fulfilling. And it was addictive.
Now that I knew this feeling…
I can't go back.
The floor creaked from under me, dragging me back to reality.
I tensed and frantically scanned my surroundings.
I could vaguely make out the dark silhouettes of the couch, the kitchen, the dinner table… and a small, frail figure staring directly at me. It was too slim to be Father or Uncle, so it could have only been one person.
She must have recognized me, too, because she called out from the darkness.
"Mei, is that you?" she asked in a weak, thin voice, like it hurt just to use her vocal cords.
…She's been crying again, hasn't she?
I turned off my phone and slipped it into the pocket of my cardigan, letting the darkness swallow us completely.
Even with our faces lost and unrecognizable in the dark, my face moved, forming a cheery smile on my lips.
"Yeah. Sorry for not greeting you. I was just so tired after school and studying, it slipped my mind."
"No, no, please, don't apologize," Mom said quickly, her hands fluttering in the dark as she panicked. "It's okay. If anything, I should have noticed the moment the door opened. It's my fault."
Maybe if this were anyone else—like Hoshino—these apologies wouldn't mean anything. But it was different with Mom. She meant every word of it. Even if I were to reply with the usual, 'No, don't worry about it,' she would just answer with, 'Thank you for your consideration, but it really is my responsibility,' so there was no point in doing that.
Instead, it was better to direct the conversation elsewhere.
I tilted my head and asked in a curious tone, "Anyway, what are you doing here, Mom? You usually aren't downstairs this late."
Normally, Mom was only downstairs to cook dinner or wash the dishes. Considering that the lights weren't on, she clearly wasn't doing either of those.
"O-oh!" she stuttered, as if something caught in her throat. "I was just eating dinner."
My eyes narrowed, and I studied her shadowy figure, analyzing every small movement. Her shoulders were… shaking.
So it's one of those nights…
My phone buzzed in my pocket, indicating that I had received another text from Hoshino—but I didn't reach for it.
My body moved on its own. I took a step closer to her, adjusting my tone to sound as gentle as I possibly could as I did.
"Then, is it okay if I eat with you, Mom?"
Mom's shoulders flinched.
"A-are you sure?" she asked, her voice shaky.
I slowly reached out and took her hand, spreading my "warmth" to her.
"Of course! It's been a while since we ate together, so it would be a nice change of pace. Unless…" I lowered my voice, dropping it into a meek whisper. "Unless… I would be bothering you?"
Mom's hand went cold, but it didn't last long. In the next moment, she pulled me in and wrapped her trembling arms around me.
"No! I'd love… to eat dinner with you… Mei!" she choked through broken sobs.
I let out a relieved breath, loud enough for her to hear, as I returned her hug. Her tears soaked through my clothes, wetting my shoulders, but I continued to hold onto her.
"You don't have to cry, Mom. Here."
My hands rose to her shoulders. I carefully pulled myself back until we faced each other, and gave her a warm smile.
"See? There's nothing to worry about. It's just us."
Mom's eyes widened, glistening in the dark. She sniffled, wiped her nose, then nodded weakly.
"Yeah, sorry about that. I shouldn't let you see me like this…"
Her shoulders jolted. "I'm sorry… that you got stuck with a Mom like me…"
She's just going to cry harder at this rate…
I tightened my grip on her shoulder, trying to keep her attention on me, and shook my head.
"Don't say that, Mom," I scolded, light but firm. "I won't say you're perfect–no one is—but I'm glad that you're the one who gave birth to me."
A shuddering breath escaped Mom's lips. Seizing the opportunity, I added, "So let's just eat, okay?"
Without giving her a chance to say or think anything else, I took her hand and walked to the dinner table.
Despite how shaken she was, her steps were soundless—and so were mine.
Once I got her settled in her seat, I quickly made my way to the curtains and drew them open.
It was a cloudless night, so a deep blue moonlight spilled through the windows and illuminated the dining table. It was enough to see our surroundings, but not enough to easily make out each other's faces—which was good for Mom. Parents had their own sense of pride, and they wouldn't want their kids to see them crying. My Mom was no exception.
That was when I heard the sound of a chair scraping behind me. I spun around. Mom had gotten up from her seat and was walking toward the kitchen. The moonlight revealed everything below her shoulders with a blue light—but her face stayed obscured in the shadows.
"What are you doing?" I asked with innocent confusion. I didn't want to come off as too imposing and scare her. Luckily, it seemed to have worked.
"Oh, I'm just getting you your own plate," Mom replied a little guiltily, her back still turned towards me. "Please, don't mind me—take a seat. I can't have my Daughter doing everything for me, after all."
The tension in my shoulders seemed to ease just a little bit.
Thank goodness… she's feeling a little better now.
"Okay, take your time. I'll wait for you at the table then."
Mom nodded, then headed to the kitchen. A soft clatter rose in the background as she prepared my food.
I couldn't help but listen somewhat curiously as she did.
I wonder… if this is what a warm home feels like?
The noise in the kitchen as your parents made your meal. The clang of the pots and pans. The smell of freshly made food finding its way to your nose as you came downstairs. I'd never experienced any of that before—or at least not the way other people did.
Dinner in my house usually meant going downstairs whenever I wanted, grabbing a meal that had been sitting out for a few hours, then going back to my room to eat there alone.
I'd always wondered what it felt like. Whether it was anything like what I was feeling right now…
Just thinking about it made a deep, chilling sense of nothing permeate my chest.
...There's no point thinking about this. I know better than that.
Slowly, my hand moved on its own. It rose... and reached for my wrist.
Just before it could close, my cardigan pocket buzzed, the weight of it bringing me back into myself.
Ah, that's right. I need to respond to Hoshino.
I grabbed my phone and opened our messages. Just that made the cold grip on my chest let go.
I leaned forward on the table and rested my head against my hand as I covered my mouth.
I hurriedly typed out my reply with the other.
And send. He read it instantly.
Something—whatever it was—tugged at the corners of my lips.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, fully feeling the weight of my phone in my hand.
I really can't wait to see you again...