Bah.
I've been sick as of late, lol.
I suppose I should have started with a greeting?
Oops, lol.
I do hope that you've been well, Kid, and that all of you have been just as well, Folks.
It is allergy season here in Wisconsin, and my body hates it, lol.
Mother Nature is trying to kill me, I tell ya!
Having seasonal allergies on top of a cold is just plain ASS, lol.
And not even the good kind of ass, you know?
Bah, and bah again!
But, hey!
I will be okay!
I will get through this, and you all will get more chapters of this here journal of mine to sink your teeth into!, lol.
I will be just fine, trust me.
I tend to get sick once or twice a year, and thank the Universe and God that this time around, whatever it is seems to be quite mild.
I am congested as shit,
My nose either runs or is clogged, lol,
I sneeze far too often,
A few coughs seem to be creeping in,
And I am not a mouth breather, so I have been waking up quite suddenly when the Vapor Rub I put under my nose wears off, lbvs.
Ugh.
Being sick sucks.
Enough of me bitchin', lol.
I could be stuck on a cruise ship out in who-knows-where, right?
Seriously.
I will let you all go see what Younger and less sick me was getting into a few years back, yeah?
Do me a huge favor, and tell him to skip the Mother's Day part at his Mum's house come 2026, okay?
I'm sure he won't listen, but at least he will think about it!
See ya'll back here soon enough, yeah?
Enjoy!
(Slips into the control center of theSlappery-Slappish-Slappington 3000.1, sniffling and sneezing all over the place. I hope I don't infect Young me with this weird future cold... Hmm)
-
May 31st, 2022.
-
Dear You.
Hey, Kid.
As soon as I want to write to you, my pen wants to act up...
I hope you have been happy and healthy.
I have been very heavy lately...
Emotions tend to be more... Potent at night.
I have been single since March 19th of this year.
Just over two months, I have been alone now after being with someone for eight years...
Crazy how that can just... Happen, you know?
Just be careful.
I don't know if you have "Love and Lost" by now yet,
But you can talk to me, Kid.
It's part of the human experience.
-Dad.
-----
Hmm.
- I read somewhere once that being single is all fun and games until 10:56 PM strikes.
I laughed at this, but now I can do nothing but agree.
The important thing to keep in mind is that there is a massive difference between being alone and being lonely.
I love being alone, and that can make me lonely at times, but I am not lonely simply because I am alone.
I love, love, and I look forward to being in love again someday, you know?
But right now?
I am okay being alone.
I need me.
I've needed myself for far too long, and I've been letting myself down.
- Emotions are and have always been and felt very heavy for me. It is almost a physical sensation, you know?
I have no problem facing, using, and digesting them, but the negative ones tend to drain the hell out of me rapidly.
I think that became a part of my functionality after having lived under my ex's thumb of oppression for so long, and it is something that I struggle with to this day. She was extremely emotional and Bipolar at that. It made situations far more complicated than they had to be a lot of the time, simply because she refused to seek professional help.
BPD and Tequila are not healthy things to mix.
- Things like my break-up don't just happen overnight.
We had been spiraling down the drain for years, and I was just constantly peddling against the current in hopes that I could get us to shore.
She never loved me.
She may have cared at a small point in time, but even that was fueled by all the things that I was doing for her, and all that I could and did provide.
It was a one-way symbiotic relationship for her.
A parasitic relationship?
Hmm.
Listen, Kid...
You as well, Folks...
Be careful who you give your time and attention to.
It is an honor to spend time with you, okay?
You are the only YOU.
YOUR time and energy are something that you can never get back.
Fuck money.
Fuck material things.
Fuck sex.
If you like someone and the feeling isn't mutual, leave it where it is, and be on your way.
The wrong kind of people will lock onto your aura and syphon whatever they can from you.
Especially your time and energy.
As crazy as it may sound, I hope that you have both loved and lost, Kid.
That goes for you all as well, Folks.
It is something that, at whatever scale you experience it, will change you on a level you would never have perceived you could be changed.
Love is the sweetest thing.
Love is the most dangerous of human things.
Guard your heart well, Kid.
You as well, Folks.
We only have so many loves within us before we become broken and hollow.
Stay the path, yeah?
Don't fade into the gray that can be.
I will leave you at that, and I hope to see you all back here soon enough.
You all mean the world to me, you know?
I will write until this Old Journal is all read, and then we will figure out what comes next, lol.
See you soon, Kid.
You as well, Folks.
I love and appreciate you.
Safe travels, yeah?
And as always:
Stay safe.
Stay healthy.
Stay vigilant.
-Bluu.