While Pyra slammed her door to change—her heart hammering against the "secret message" hidden in her bodice—Mordecai remained in his basic, ugly room.
The air smelled of routine and faint mildew.
He immediately called out for Larry.
"Hey, Larry. Come out. I need your help." He said to the air, but with no result.
The skeleton didn't come out, and Mordecai became confused.
"Uhmmm... System?" He said, before a familiar screen popped up in front of him, again.
[SYSTEM NOTICE: YOU HAVE TO USE A PROPER EDGY VOICE COMMAND TO SUMMON YOUR MINION.]
[SUGGESTED VOICE COMMANDS: ARISE, SERVANT OF DARKNESS! OBEY YOUR MASTER!]
[Admin note: Readers are demanding for an edgy summoning. They're tired of your cynicism, sweetie~.]
Mordecai felt a shiver down his spine.
He thought that the System was adjusting to his will, but he was... probably wrong... or...
"No. I refuse to say cringe lines. I already have to mimic a gun with my hands, at 30 years old." He said, and then, another VERY FAMILIAR screen appeared.
[WARNING: High levels of cynicism detected.]
[User is violating "Edgy Protagonist Enthusiasm" protocols.]
[Readers' demands are too much for the System, you must satisfy their requests time to time, in order to survive.]
[Applying corrective measures…]
In that moment, pain flared in his chest.
His thoughts were suddenly flooded with images of crows, rain-soaked graveyards, and an overwhelming urge to stare dramatically into the distance while thinking about nothing in particular.
Withouth thinking, he transformed back to Mordecai Von Ravenloft for an instant and his voice dropped by an octave.
"ARISE, SERVANT OF DARKNESS! OBEY YOUR MASTER!" He exclaimed, his voice raspy and deep.
In that moment, Larry came out from the void, probably confused.
When Mordecai snapped back to reality, he immediately activated [TOTALLY HIDE STATUS], in order to return into Kaitoyama.
He then felt the urge to vomit and then throw himself out of the window from the cringe he experienced.
After that, he took a look at his first minion.
The skeleton stood at attention, hopeful. His utility belt was already stocked with rusty spoons, ready for action.
But now, there were two new things.
Larry now had two violet flickers similar to some kind of eyes, and he also had... work gloves.
Mordecai used [Reveal Magic] to see his minion's stats and noticed that Larry had become... very strong.
He was level 99 with 99 in all stats and a new passive skill [Tireless Worker].
[Passive skill: Tireless Worker]
[Effect: Larry can work forever without feeling any sense of tiredness or boredom. He tries his best for his Master because he wants to make him happy.]
[Bonus Effect: Larry's high level gave him the awareness of existing and can now express more opinions.
'Efficient. He was still more useful than Pyroetta.'
"Larry. Change of assignment," Mordecai began in his best shift-supervisor tone.
Larry tilted his skull. A bony clack of attention.
"You are not coming to the Fort."
A deathly silence followed.
Then, another clack. Sharper. Almost a snap of disapproval. Larry took a step forward, pointing a bony finger toward the inn's door as if to say, "But there are monsters out there! Loot to gather! The boss needs me!"
"Precisely," Mordecai nodded, interpreting the gesture as a query about procedure. "The current mission requires specialized skill sets your current configuration does not possess. Your new assignment is here: Optimization and cataloging of consumable materials."
From inside Pyra's room, the sounds of boots being kicked off and clothes rustling frantically could be heard. She was only a few feet away, struggling into her armor while mentally re-reading Mordecai's "love hieroglyphs." Through the thin crack of her not-quite-closed door, Pyra watched the scene unfold.
She didn't hear the curse edgy sentence by Mordecai, of course.
"The primary consumable material is the collection of rusty spoons we acquired in the dungeon," Mordecai continued, utterly oblivious (or indifferently aware) of the psychological trauma he was inflicting. "Your task is threefold: one, clean them with a dry cloth to remove non-structural grime. Two, catalog them by degree of rust on a scale of one to ten. Three, evaluate their potential as ammunition for the next [Tetanus Bolt] upgrade."
Larry went perfectly still. The violet flickers in his eye sockets seemed to dim. Then, with a slowness that was a masterpiece of skeletal acting, he brought his hand to his skull.
Scrik-scrik. Scrik-scrik.
It wasn't a clack. It was a scratch. Slow, thoughtful, laden with disappointment so deep it had become philosophical. It was the sound of a (presumed) soul realizing its eternity would be spent shoveling administrative manure.
[SYSTEM NOTIFICATION: MINION 'LARRY' HAS UNLOCKED NEW EMOTIONAL PARAMETERS.]
[UNLOCKED: SKEPTICAL HEAD-SCRATCH.]
[UNLOCKED: RESIGNED POSTURE SLUMP (-5% AGI, +10% PATHETIC AURA).]
[NOTE: MORALE CRITICALLY LOW. SUGGESTED INTERVENTION: PROMISE OF A 'RUSTY SPOON OF THE MONTH' PLAQUE.]
"I see you are processing the new responsibilities, Larry." Mordecai said, completely ignoring the system and misinterpreting Larry's scratching as a sign of deep concentration. "Good. Efficiency is key. I expect a written report on rust-yield-per-spoon by our return. Free format. A stick-figure diagram is acceptable."
Mordecai handed Larry a notepad and a blunt pencil.
Larry took them, looked at them, then looked at his master. His jaw dropped slightly. It was a silence heavy with an existential question: "Where did I go wrong? Is it because I put the crystal slime-core in the metals sack instead of the gem sack that one time?"
Larry was standing completely still, not moving an inch.
Another system screen appeared in front of Mordecai.
[SYSTEM ALERT! LARRY'S MORALE IS BELOW CRITICAL LEVELS. HE'S ABOUT TO CRY. HE WANTS TO BE USEFUL.]
[TAKE IMMEDIATE MEASURES!]
Mordecai sighed, realizing that Larry was probably the only one in this world who actually deserved to be treated better than the others.
"Don't worry , Larry. Once you'll finish, you can tell this to Ugo, so I can summon you directly into the Fort." He said, putting a hand on his bone shoulder.
In that moment, Larry's eyes became to sparkle.
Clack
His jaw dropped by an inch and he took some steps back.
After that, he immediately gave a thumbs up to his master, literally saying: "I'll do my best for you, master! Thank you!"
Mordecai nodded.
"I trust you, Larry." He said.
Then, Larry immediately started to work.
Pyra, watching through the door crack while lacing her corset, felt an emotion other than glacial efficiency for the first time since her memories had returned. It was a tremor of pity—but also deep, reverent admiration.
She had witnessed the entire sequence: Kaitoyama's cold orders, Larry's brief existential crisis, and then that unexpected gesture.
Mordecai had placed a hand on the skeleton's shoulder. To her, clutching the "secret message" against her heart, this wasn't mere personnel management. It was definitive proof: her "Master" was a dark sovereign who, despite his cold logic, cared for the souls of his humblest subjects.
'He is so noble... so profound... He will be a beautiful father...' she thought, her heart racing even faster.
"Personnel recruitment operation complete," Mordecai said, turning toward Pyra's door without the slightest suspicion of the emotional whirlwind he had just triggered. "Pyroetta, hurry up. Our first appointment of the day is with an infested Fort. We can't be late."
Larry, rejuvenated by the promise of being summoned to the Fort later, turned with the solemnity of a knight entrusted with a sacred quest. He no longer shuffled his feet; he marched toward the corner of the common room with sharp, rhythmic steps. He sat on his stool and picked up spoon #001.
Because of his Level 99 stats and the [Tireless Worker] passive, Larry didn't begin scrubbing with sadness. Instead, he started with terrifying speed and precision.
Scrik-scrik. Scrik-scrik-scrik!
Every stroke of the cloth was so violent that sparks almost seemed to fly from the rusted metal. To Larry, this was the high road to the Fort; to Pyra, watching him as she finally stepped out of her room, it was the heart-wrenching sight of a servant drowning his own longing in work just to please his master.
"I'm ready!" she exclaimed, bursting into the hallway. Her face was flushed bright red, her armor was polished, and the maintenance notice was sealed in an inner pocket right over her heart. She cast one last glance of "victim solidarity" at Larry, who was now cataloging spoon #005 with manic dedication.
"Take care, We'll come back soon, I promise!" Pyroetta said, with a happy voice.
Larry stopped his activities and stared at her for some seconds, before giving her a thumbs up.
Pyroetta smiled.
"Good," Mordecai said without looking at her, already focused on the Quest Marker that appeared in front of him. "Let's go. Larry has everything under control. He's... motivated."
As they stepped out into the grey dawn light, the last thing they heard was the rhythmic, frenetic scrik-scrik of a skeleton polishing trash with the force of a hurricane. Larry was learning that in Mordecai's world, hope wasn't a feeling—it was a productivity multiplier.
Of course, Mordecai had ordered to Larry not to leave the room for any reason, and to immediately hide in the void if he heard any strange noise.
To be more careful, Mordecai also sealed the doors with [Rusty Spoons] on the door knob, each one with a [Tetanus Bolt] trap.
And so, the mission to Fort Blackstone had finally begun.
[SYSTEM NOTIFICATION: FEEDBACK FROM THE HIGHER REALMS]
Larry_Simp_01: HE'S LEVEL 99 AND HIS ONLY DESIRE IS TO MAKE HIS BOSS PROUD. THIS IS THE MOST PURE, MOST WORKAHOLIC RELATIONSHIP IN FICTION. I WOULD DIE FOR LARRY.
System_Whisperer: The 'Edgy Summoning Protocol' was a success! User compliance was achieved through forced cringe exposure. Note: This method is 300% more effective than standard charisma prompts.
Tsundere_Theorist: Pyra interpreting basic decency as 'dark nobility' is the most accurate depiction of how love actually works. We're all Pyra, clutching our metaphorical badly-translated notes.