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"How much is it? Look at you, acting like you've never seen the world."
Seeing Nitori Kawashiro staring at the 50,000-gold transfer like she was ready to die for her lord, Reimu Hakurei leaned in curiously to look at the phone screen.
Reimu had been called over by Yukari Yakumo late last night, who had frantically claimed she needed "insurance to prevent being beaten to death."
"Fifty thousand..." Reimu's eyes widened, transforming into the shape of gold coins. She immediately grabbed Leo's shoulder.
"The boss is confused! If you have this much money, why find a Kappa? Find me! It's just a mere Yukari Yakumo. Do you need me to tie her up and train her for you? Even if you want to do something bad, I can help you hold her down!"
Swish.
Before anyone could react, Reimu pulled a glowing rope made of spiritual talismans from her sleeve. In the blink of an eye, she hogtied Yukari, who had realized something was wrong and tried to run.
Slap!
"Reimu!"
Yukari felt a stinging smack on her rear. Her face instantly flushed a brilliant crimson. Don't be fooled by how she teases everyone every day; the Sage of Youkai was actually surprisingly innocent when the tables turned. Getting slapped on the butt in front of a room full of people made her fly into a rage born purely out of shame.
"Behave yourself!"
Reimu ignored her yelling, looking at her own hand in silence. That strike just now... she felt like she had slapped a water balloon. So perky. So elastic.
Despite wearing such baggy clothes that make her look like a pyramid with no curves at all, she's actually so well-endowed under those layers? Reimu thought, her eyes narrowing suspiciously. If there weren't so many people here, the Shrine Maiden was fully prepared to strip Yukari naked to see what other secrets were hidden beneath the purple dress.
In the corner, Nitori very honestly and efficiently transferred the 50,000 gold to Reimu. The Kappa knew her limits. She really couldn't take this assassination job. Even if you stacked the entire Kappa Heavy Industries and the newly incorporated Yamawaro Heavy Industries together, they wouldn't be enough to scratch Yukari Yakumo. Nitori had that much self-awareness.
After all, Yukari was a Sage of Youkai who had fought her way out of ancient times. Don't look at her acting as pathetic as Cirno right now, tied up on the floor.
And then there was Reimu—the most bugged-out monster in Gensokyo's history. A wretched, terrifying entity who would unhesitatingly hogtie her own best friend and patron for fifty grand. If it were anyone else trying to tie Yukari up, the Sage would have counter-killed them in a heartbeat.
"Miss Sage of Youkai," Leo began, sitting up straight against the headboard.
He pulled Chen into his lap, stroking her fur gently with the air of a powerful, scheming eunuch who was 'below one but above ten thousand.'
"My first time is gone just like that. I even experienced the moment of drowning to death quite realistically. The salt water in my lungs was very authentic. How do you plan to compensate my wounded soul?"
Leo had been spoiled silly by Kappa Heavy Industries' efficiency. With this kind of money, why bother with complex revenge procedures? Originally, he wanted Nitori to sue Yukari for disregard for human life, then hire Aya Shameimaru to write a scathing front-page report, and finally 'huff' the cat directly in front of Yukari to assert dominance.
But after Reimu made her move, he remembered the ultimate truth of Gensokyo: The person sitting in the Judge's seat was someone who could be bribed into any kind of 'Sadistic' enforcer role for just a hundred thousand gold. Wouldn't it be more convenient to just go through Reimu?
"Whatever you want~~" Yukari purred.
She rolled over, lying lazily on the ground despite the talisman bindings. Her voice lowered into a husky register, hiding an unmistakable temptation, as if she were genuinely looking forward to Leo doing something wicked. "Since I'm tied up right now, little brother, I can't resist no matter what you want to do~"
"Heh," Leo sneered, looking down at her. "I'll laugh for a lifetime at whoever can get a reaction from you."
"That's what he said. It has nothing to do with me."
The toneless, echoing voice of Komeiji Satori cut through the room. Her Mind's Eye was still staring unblinkingly at Leo, translating his inner thoughts in real-time.
"Search, select, block for one day, banish."
Leo didn't hesitate. He quickly pulled out his phone, opened the Stardew Valley interface, and found Komeiji Satori's resident information. For the first time since arriving in this world, he used the expulsion function. Just like a furious admin in a QQ chat group, he blocked Satori for 24 hours. Having this pink-haired fun-seeker here would lead to his absolute social death sooner or later.
Bloop. Satori vanished into thin air, sent back to the Underworld.
"What do you mean by that!"
On the floor, Yukari could no longer maintain her seductive, provocative expression. Her act shattered. Those inner thoughts Satori had just broadcasted were no different from pointing at her face and calling her an Old Hag. It was basically saying no one likes you, you're old, and you're faded. No girl, regardless of her age, could tolerate that.
RIIIP.
Instantly tearing the supposedly indestructible spiritual talismans binding her to shreds, Yukari stood up. She rolled up her lace sleeves, her purple eyes glowing with boundary magic, ready for a real-life, physical brawl with Leo. She had only let Reimu tie her up to play along; Yukari was certainly no saint. Who didn't have a few trump cards hidden away?
"Add another fifty thousand. I'll owe you for now." Leo didn't even blink, speaking directly to the Shrine Maiden.
"You got it! Just watch." Reimu grinned.
Thud.
Yukari, who had just stood up with immense magical pressure, was instantly pressed face-down into the floorboards by Reimu. It wasn't much harder than pinning down Cirno. This is what you call invincible stats—pure, unreasonable, protagonist pride.
Looking at Yukari clawing the air in futile rage while being effortlessly pinned by Reimu, Leo gave a cruel, villainous smile.
He lifted the black cat in his hands and looked deep into her innocent, wide eyes.
"Meow? Meow meow meow! Meow~~"
Leo buried his face deep into the cat's fluffy, warm belly. He took a long, deep, exaggeratedly loud huffing breath.
After her initial panic, Chen relaxed and started meowing comfortably, her motor-like purr vibrating against Leo's face. Leo's nuzzling felt so good~ it was ticklish.
"How is it?" Leo looked up, his face covered in black fur, staring mockingly at the pinned Sage. "Watching helplessly as your cat is huffed by someone else without being able to resist at all. How does this feeling of ultimate helplessness feel?"
He waited for the expression of agonizing pain from being 'NTR-ed' to appear on Yukari's face.
But it didn't.
Instead, Yukari's struggling ceased. She wore an expression that looked like she was barely holding back laughter.
Leo found this strange.
"That place you were huffing..." Yukari smirked, her voice dripping with amusement. "...is exactly where I usually warm my bare feet."
She crossed her legs playfully. The wide hem of her purple dress slid down, revealing her pale, bare feet, which she even wiggled twice as a mocking greeting.
"Hmm..."
Leo froze. He looked at the cat's belly. He looked at Yukari's wiggling toes. He fell silent for a long moment.
Then, under everyone's absolutely shocked, horrified gazes, he buried his face back into the cat and took another deep huff.
Did she really think this would disgust him? He was a regular on the Arknights and Azur Lane forums. This level of psychological warfare was amateur hour.
Now it was Yukari's turn to be completely stumped. The smirk slid off her face. In this unspoken competition of perversion and shamelessness, she was forced to admit defeat. Leo was even more of a degenerate pervert than Megumu Iizunamaru.
"Alright, enough playing around," Leo coughed, his face slightly red as he sat up. "I need to get to work. Since everyone is already here, don't leave today. Tonight we'll continue the barbecue party we missed yesterday."
He handed the purring, slightly dazed cat over to Ran—who was currently wearing an utterly unreadable, complex expression—and quickly fled the room.
As he stepped outside into the cool spring air, Leo rubbed his face. He felt like after hanging out with this group of ancient monsters for too long, his own integrity and moral baseline were dropping lower and lower. Normally, he was a reserved guy. He would never expose his kinks or act so shamelessly in front of others.
What happened today? It's all that fun-seeker Komeiji Satori's fault. He had nothing left to lose now anyway! When in Rome...
Inside the farmhouse, the atmosphere shifted the moment the door clicked shut.
"What do you think?"
Reimu released Yukari and stood up, brushing off her skirt. Her money-grubbing attitude vanished, suddenly becoming incredibly serious and sharp. She was the absolute protector of Gensokyo, the Hakurei Shrine Maiden. How could she possibly sell out her best friend and the balance of her world for a mere hundred thousand gold?
"I don't have any objections," Yagokoro Eirin spoke up, unscrewing the cap of her thermos.
She took a slow sip of hot water, propping her head with one hand as she gave her professional, ancient opinion. "Pursuit itself is not a sin. As long as he's not a psychopath, I don't mind it."
As an immortal doctor who had lived on the moon and earth for eons, what hadn't she seen? To Eirin, looking at Leo's biological lifespan was no different from looking at a piece of cured meat hanging in a pantry. It was fleeting. But as long as his heart was in the right place, she was quite satisfied with his character.
Leo probably didn't know the truth. He didn't realize that in the eyes of these Great Youkai, he wasn't just a human farmer. He was a 'growth stock'.
A World Lord was an existence on the exact same cosmic level as the Dragon God—immortal, eternal, and completely unbound by the issue of lifespan differences.
Young, wealthy, incredibly powerful in potential, and coming with an entire, perfect world as a dowry.
This was the real reason these terrifying, arrogant Great Youkai could sit in his small house, talk, and laugh with Leo as equals. In reality, if they were to observe strict, formal cosmic hierarchy, they would have to bow and address him as 'Lord,' just as they would the Dragon God.