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"Silence. The scene is currently very silent."
The eerie, toneless narration hung heavily in the stifling air of the room. It was Komeiji Satori speaking, her voice utterly devoid of inflection or mercy. Her Third Eye pulsed with a faint, rhythmic crimson light, fixed intensely on Leo, who had buried his head completely beneath the heavy quilt. The sharp, bitter scent of Eirin's medicinal herbal soup still clung to the fabric, but it was entirely overpowered by the suffocating, heavy tension gripping the farmhouse.
"Everyone's eyes are on me. What exactly happened? Why did I say what I was thinking out loud? It must be the drug that old woman Yagokoro Eirin gave me; it's definitely not because of Lady Komeiji Satori."
The room had fallen dead silent from her very first sentence. Satori was broadcasting his raw, panicked internal monologue word for word, exposing his frantic mental gymnastics to the very people he was terrified of.
"Hehe, it seems Lord Leo is quite fond of our Scarlet Devil Mansion. You'd better be careful when walking at night."
The crisp rustle of starched fabric sliced through the quiet. Sakuya Izayoi adjusted her maid skirt—seemingly unintentionally—exposing the dark garter strapped tightly to her pale thigh. The metallic clink of several silver throwing knives tucked into the band echoed sharply. The temperature in the room plummeted, a localized chill radiating from the Head Maid's intense killing intent. While garters might theoretically increase attack speed, the cold glint of throwing knives forced a man to calm down very quickly. Liking the Second Miss wasn't enough; now he actually dared to have designs on the Eldest Mistress!
"Meow? Does Leo want to pet a cat? Okay then, I'm coming in."
Pat. Pat. Chen, sitting on the mattress in her black cat form, tapped the bulging quilt with her soft paws. Finding no verbal response, she simply squeezed her liquid-like feline body through a small gap underneath the covers. In Chen's simple worldview, Leo gave the cat fish, so Leo was a good person, and good people were legally allowed to pet cats.
Inside the pitch-black, sweltering space beneath the blanket, Leo lay paralyzed. He held Flandre rigidly in his arms, his eyes completely vacant, staring into the dark like a corpse that had been stiff for days. His heart hammered wildly against his ribs. God knows why his innermost, private thoughts were being broadcasted! He had clearly only looked a few times! Maybe there was a tiny sliver of a thought in his mind, really! Just a sliver!
To have it broadcast publicly like this while the people involved were still present! How was this any different from pooping in public!
"Hey, hey, Big Brother, so you like Flandre this much. Is it because Flandre is just too charming?"
Under the heavy covers, the crystalline appendages on Flandre's wings shimmered, bringing a faint, prismatic light to the darkness. Flandre poked Leo's chest with a small finger, a mischievous, fanged smile spreading across her face. She really was the most charming one; it had only been a few days, and Big Brother already liked her.
"No, the sisters are a bonus. I just treat you both as cute younger sisters and daughters. Only people like Yakumo Ran, Yakumo Yukari, Shameimaru Aya, Yagokoro Eirin... (omitting ten thousand words here), such people are my lifelong wives—"
The narration was still going!
Leo snapped his gaze downward and saw the glowing, red Mind's Eye that had snuck beneath the covers at some point, hovering right above his chest. The sweating man and the unblinking eye stared at each other for a long, agonizing second before Leo fiercely pinched the Mind's Eye's fleshy blood vessel and yanked it toward him. He squeezed his eyes shut and began to frantically recall his high school life. The sheer volume of concentrated cringe—memories too dark and chaotic for mortal comprehension—instantly made the Mind's Eye roll its pupil back as it fell limply and twitched in Leo's clammy hand.
"Komeiji Satori!"
Leo roared from under the blanket, his voice muffled by the thick cotton. The moment he saw the Mind's Eye, he finally understood what was happening. This naturally evil Mind-reading Youkai was speaking all his inner thoughts aloud! A live broadcast! In front of everyone!
Maybe he should consider moving to another planet; there was no place for him here anymore. His stomach twisted into painful knots. He didn't even dare to imagine the scene once he lifted the quilt. Everyone would look at him like trash, thinking he was a scumbag who loved everyone he saw, and then they'd brutally dismember him. Kogasa, who had just found a master, would be left to lonely hold his severed head while sailing far away on a boat.
"Ka-na-shi-mi-no mu-ko-o-e-to ta-do-ri-tsu-ke-ru na-ra"
"Bo-ku-wa-mo-o i-ra-na-i-yo nu-ku-mo-ri-mo-a-shi-ta-mo"
The phonetic misheard Japanese lyrics playing in his head—the infamous ending theme of School Days—were instantly converted into the haunting melody of the narration. Satori's ethereal, empty voice echoed through the room. Outside the windows, an illusory snow seemed to be falling in his mind. So... today is Christmas.
"It seems I'm still quite popular. I didn't expect to have a little brother liking me at my age."
Outside the quilt, Yagokoro Eirin simply rested her chin on her hand, a faint, amused smile on her lips as she leisurely enjoyed Komeiji Satori's impromptu singing. Truth be told, she hadn't expected Satori to be able to sing, and she sang quite well too.
"Hehe, it seems our little brother is quite ambitious."
Upon hearing that Leo even had designs on her, Yakumo Yukari instantly dropped her pitiful, grieving widow act. She snapped her folding fan open with a sharp clack, covering half her face as her purple eyes narrowed in amusement. She wasn't angry or offended; she had seen everything in her long life. They were all veteran drivers on the road of life; by comparison, Leo's perverted thoughts weren't even as significant as a toy bumper car.
"Where's the Rabbit Foot! My Lucky Rabbit Foot, save me!"
From the moment Komeiji Satori spoke, the subconscious cloaking ability on her body was entirely dispelled. She was now the most prominent person in the room, her small frame the center of attention as everyone watched her, waiting for the latest juicy revelation.
Listening to the eerie singing outside, Leo felt a sudden itch on his neck. He subconsciously touched it, his breath hitching in panic, only to realize it was just the cat rubbing her furry cheek against his collarbone. A false alarm.
He took a deep, shaky breath.
"Um, I think... I can explain."
Expressionlessly pulling back the heavy quilt, the cool room air hitting his sweat-dampened skin, he tossed out the Flandre-ball that was clinging to his chest and doubting her own charm. Leo sat up. At this moment, his heart was exceptionally calm; he had entered Sage Mode. With so many of his darkest inner thoughts already exposed to the jury, he had nothing left to hide.
There's nothing to be afraid of anymore.
"It's fine, no need to explain. Gensokyo isn't without cases of humans and youkai being together, and we don't have a habit of monogamy. If you have the ability, no one will stop you from having a harem. However, the standards of Great Youkai are very high. If you want a harem, you'll have to work hard."
Yagokoro Eirin waved her hand dismissively, the ancient weight behind her casual gesture making it clear she wasn't offended at all by Leo wanting to hit on her. They were all Old Hags who had lived since ancient times. In their long lives, they had met many people with such thoughts, and even more perverted ones. What Leo did was nothing. If they really hit it off, they could be together. It was just that the human-like entities in ancient times were too abstract and weird, which led to them becoming old maids now.
"Oh? Little brother, as long as you stop pursuing the matter of falling into the water, I wouldn't mind giving you a chance to court me."
Yakumo Yukari leaned in with a sly smile, deliberately twisting her body into a seductive S-shape. She loved seeing young boys get embarrassed. With her immense charm, the little brother would surely be hooked, and then she could easily play hard to get.
"Hah, that's the one thing that's impossible. Kawashiro Nitori!"
Leo glared at Yakumo Yukari and sneered. His seething resentment over his watery demise utterly overrode his embarrassment. This was his first time dying! He should have been on the front lines of the Mines, dying a hero's death, but instead, he was kicked into the water by Yakumo Yukari and drowned like a chump. The gap in dignity was just too large to forgive.
"Here! What are your orders, Boss!"
Nitori snapped to attention from the corner, pulling a heavy steel wrench from her tool belt with a sharp metallic scrape.
"In his heart, he's saying: 'Why does an old woman act like a coy virgin?'" Satori added helpfully, her voice cutting through the tension.
Ignoring Komeiji Satori's eerie, continuous narration, Leo pulled out his phone. His thumbs flew across the glass screen, issuing a 50,000-gold commission directly to Kappa Heavy Industries. His crops had been selling incredibly well lately, so he had some spare cash. He had originally planned to build a house, but now an accident had happened. Blood demanded blood.
"Boss, who do you want killed~?"
Seeing the massive amount on the transfer screen, Kawashiro Nitori's expression instantly turned dead serious. This was a big order. If they messed it up, the boss might not hire them again.