The morning sun streamed into Naruto's window, highlighting the chaos of her still-messy apartment. She had managed to save Sir Prickles with a generous amount of water and a stern lecture, but the rest of the place? A lost cause. Karin had promised to clean it, but conveniently "remembered" she had to leave town for a "mission" before even picking up a sock.
Naruto yawned, scratching her head as she shuffled to the door. Her synthetic body didn't need much sleep, but it still felt nice to pretend she was normal. Or as normal as a synthetic shinobi could be. She was wearing an oversized T-shirt with "Foxy and Fabulous" printed on the front and a pair of toad-patterned boxers. Truly a fashion statement.
A knock on the door snapped her out of her daze. She peeked through the peephole suspiciously. It was the milkman. She opened the door just as he was about to knock again, causing him to flinch.
"Delivery for Uzumaki Naruto!" he chirped, holding up two bottles of milk like they were trophies.
Naruto blinked at him, still half-asleep. "Milk? Dattebayo?"
The milkman nodded enthusiastically, his white uniform practically glowing in the sunlight. "Fresh from the farm! Creamy, nutritious, and guaranteed to make your bones strong!" He flexed dramatically, striking a pose.
Naruto tilted her head, her expression blank. "Naruto's bones are made of sage wood. Does it work on that?"
The milkman froze mid-pose, his smile faltering. "Uh… I-I don't know? Maybe? It's milk! It's good for everyone!" He thrust the bottles toward her like they were holy relics.
Naruto took them cautiously, holding one up to her face and squinting at it. "Naruto doesn't trust things in bottles. They might explode."
The milkman's eyes widened in panic. "E-Explode?! It's just milk!"
Naruto sniffed the bottle suspiciously. "Naruto will be the judge of that."
She uncapped one and took a small sip. Her eyes immediately lit up. "It's sweet!" she exclaimed, her robotic tone breaking slightly. She took another sip, and then another, chugging half the bottle in one go.
The milkman watched in awe. "You like it, huh? Told you it was the best in town!"
Naruto wiped her mouth with her sleeve, grinning. "Naruto approves! Milk is good for growing strong—dattebayo!" She flexed her arms, which still looked as scrawny as ever, but her enthusiasm was undeniable.
The milkman chuckled nervously. "Glad you like it! Uh… would you like to set up a regular delivery?"
Naruto blinked, tilting her head like a confused puppy. "Regular? Like every day?"
"Exactly!" the milkman said, his salesman mode activating. "Imagine waking up every morning to fresh, delicious milk right at your doorstep! No more running out, no more late-night store trips. It's convenient and healthy!"
Naruto frowned, deep in thought. "But what if Naruto forgets it's there and it goes bad? Then Naruto will be sad. And Sir Prickles might get jealous."
The milkman blinked. "Uh… Sir Prickles?"
Naruto pointed toward her cactus, now sitting proudly on the windowsill, looking slightly less miserable. "Naruto's cactus. He's been through a lot."
The milkman opened his mouth to respond but thought better of it. "Well, uh, just let me know if you change your mind! Enjoy the milk!" He turned to leave, but Naruto's voice stopped him.
"Wait!"
He turned back, expecting another odd question. Instead, Naruto handed him one of the milk bottles. "For Sir Prickles," she said seriously. "He deserves some too."
The milkman stared at her, then at the cactus, and back at her. "...Right. Of course. Plants love milk. Totally a thing."
Naruto nodded solemnly, as if they'd just shared a profound secret. "Thank you, milk guy. You're doing important work."
The milkman gave a shaky thumbs-up and hurried away, muttering something about needing a vacation.
Naruto watched him go, then turned to Sir Prickles, holding the remaining milk bottle up like a toast. "Here's to you, buddy. Let's get stronger together. Dattebayo."
Sir Prickles, as always, said nothing. But Naruto could've sworn he looked a little perkier.